04-06-2023, 06:12 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-19-2023, 05:45 PM by dude_man. Edited 11 times in total.)
This presser has concluded and is ready to grade.
Logging on from Yeehaw Junction, Florida, this is Hank Mardukas. I have officially declared for the DSFL draft and just wrapped up my first two appearances in the DSFL Prospect Bowl. With a strong showing of 1/5 catch/targets for 12 YDs I think it is safe to say I am definitely a top 10 choice of prospect tight ends.
Little back story on me, I played for Vero Beach High School and helped take the team to the State playoffs, losing to Lakewood Ranch High in the second round. I set a few local high school records and was able to secure an offer to Georgia Tech. My first year I rode bench for a few games until tragically the starting tight end got injured a quarter of the way through the season. I rounded the year out with 5 TDs, beginning a prominent career at Tech. My favorite part of my college career was the team's winning record against uGA, (what's the good word?) with Tech up 3-1 during my time there.
Currently back down at my parents farm chorin and training so that I can be a top contender for 1st overall TE. Currently sitting at 50 (approved) TPE with 58 waiting in the update portal. Pushing for speed and endurance so I can give those LBs the fancy feet. With all that out of the way, fire away with your questions!
@DangWookie
Q: Hank, the people want to know: just how fancy are your feet and how do you intend to make them more fancy?
A: Mr. Wookie, thanks for getting the party started here. Currently I would say my feet are sitting at 7/10 fancy with only room for improvement. But I am going to let you in on a secret that all the big shoe companies don't want you to know. The groundwork for fancy feet actually starts with the socks, and nothing feels better than Kirkland Signature 100% cotton no shows. Moving forward I want to speak with Justa Ol'Shoe for a prospect collab. With those custom pieces I think we are looking at least at a 8.3/10 fancy feet score. Those LBs will think James Bond just danced around them.
@firstfray
Q: With the draft 1 week away, how are you feeling? Starting to get nervous? Any workouts/interviews with teams? What prospect bowl are you on and what do you hope to show off to teams during the short stint there?
A: firstfray I'm sorry to tell you but in this thread you're secondfray. You're right the draft is only 1 week away, but I have dedicated this entire off-season, hell my whole life for this moment, to hear my name read up on the podium. I wouldn't say I'm nervous at all, I am confident. Confident in my self, confident in skills and confident that whoever drafts me will get one hell of a tight end and team player. Several DSFL GMs and scouts have reached out to me, and invited me to their LRs. So far everyone has been supportive and shown a lot of interest. Based on my own scouting report I know there are a few teams with shallow depth at tight end, that I really think I could help fill out. I think at the moment I have a running favorite but I won't spoil it. As far as the prospect bowl I got placed on to the Guyana Golden Eagles (Geagle Gang). We had an impressive showing last night. I think the clear star is @WildfireMicro at RB, absolutely lighting up the Kodiaks defense. I won't sugar coat it I had a bad first two games, only receiving 5 targets with 1 completion for 12 yards. For now in the prospect bowl I want to show my grit, that I won't let one or two bad games get in my head. It's time to mentally reset and get back out on the field and move that ball. Keep an eye out for 33, I'm gonna go for the gold.
@CROney3
Q: Do chickens have actual lips? What is the best Wi-Fi a name you've seen? How many chickens would it take to kill an elephant?
A: Having spent most of my life on a farm with 100s of chickens I can safely say that yes, chickens have lips and they are particularly good whistlers. The best WiFi I ever saw was a hotspot in the student center "It Hurts When IP", hopefully you use a vpn when you connect to that one. The average chicken weighs 5.7 pounds and a pecking force of 3.4 lbs. The recommended caliber of bullet to hunt elephants is a .450 which generates 2700 foot pounds of energy If we assume the bullet hits the elephant right in the head from a distance of 100 yards for the one shot kill, we are looking at approximately 9 lbs of force. Using this math it would take 3 well coordinated chickens to peck an elephant in the head to kill it. Don't check the math.
@LtHudz
Q: Hank, here in the back! Was wondering how you feel your college game will transfer over to the SIFL? Also, how do you feel about egg salad?
A: Hudz, you need to work on your projection it was hard to hear you back there. I will always look back at my time at Georgia Tech as one of the most influential times in my life. not only did I continue to hone my athletic abilities at Tech but I also experienced a lot of personal growth. I went from Yeehaw Junction, population 244, to the heart of one of the largest metropolitan areas in the country. I was able to experience a whole new world of cultures that I was never exposed to. I swear I probably ate my weight in Indian food several times over per week. On the field I learned what it means to be competitive and to be part of team that is more than the players on the field. The support I experienced from the alumni really inspired me to work as hard as I could on the field, to make sure they were proud of my performance. I can only imagine the DSFL will take that to the next level. I'm here to win, to lift my team up and to make the fans proud to come to the games. Egg salad blows.
@jollyjiggs
Q: Since this is the season of the Tight Ends, what's something many people may not know about the position? Does Hank have any secret talents?
A: A huge part of the position that does get talked about is positional awareness and being light on you're feet. You have to keep one eye on the guy covering you, but you need to keep another eye on the secondary. That way when you dance around your cover you're ready to burn the next guy. Also if you're fast enough you can double as wide receiver and run a sneaky deep route. My secret talent goes back to the farm days, but I can carry 15 chickens at once.
@MikeWhiskey
Q: Tank McGibbons, as a fellow farm boy, is interested in knowing what your favorite and least favorite chores are.
A: Howdy Tank, us farm folk need to stick together in these big towns. Hands down the worse chore/activity was washing the hogs for market. They would be caked in mud and dirt and their own poop. Seven showers wasn't enough to get that smell off my body. My favorite was definitely feeding the chickens. Always such a peaceful experience, they'd follow me around as I dropped handfuls of seed. I swear a handful of them thought as me as their best friend. An honorable mention for favorite chore was wrangling the cattle, we had a family horse that was a riot to ride around.
@TwoSocks
Q: What makes you different from the other prospects in this class? What is your go to joke to get a few laughs? Are you a trash talker, friend maker, or stone face person on the field?
A: Based off a cursory glance at the tight end prospects there is a clear cutoff in player activity. Out of the 10 or so I only see about 4 that are actively working and training to get better. On a more personal note, I have a certain level of grit and perseverance. I am committed to becoming the best tight end in the DSFL and beyond. I think whichever team I end up on would be able to utilize me right from the start. In the locker room I am one of the friendliest guys, but on the field I am a straight shooter. It is about moving the ball and supporting the team and fans. If I am ever trying to break the ice I hit them with: "What's ET short for? Cause he has tiny legs!" People usually laugh out of pity, but it counts.
@wizard_literal
Q: If you had 6 hours to hide a bus, how would you do it?
A: I think the easiest way to do this would be to rent out a local hangar at a small airport and park the bus inside. My other choice would be to drive and park it in the middle of a public bus or school bus lot, depending on what kind of bus it is. Few things better than hiding in plain sight.
Logging on from Yeehaw Junction, Florida, this is Hank Mardukas. I have officially declared for the DSFL draft and just wrapped up my first two appearances in the DSFL Prospect Bowl. With a strong showing of 1/5 catch/targets for 12 YDs I think it is safe to say I am definitely a top 10 choice of prospect tight ends.
Little back story on me, I played for Vero Beach High School and helped take the team to the State playoffs, losing to Lakewood Ranch High in the second round. I set a few local high school records and was able to secure an offer to Georgia Tech. My first year I rode bench for a few games until tragically the starting tight end got injured a quarter of the way through the season. I rounded the year out with 5 TDs, beginning a prominent career at Tech. My favorite part of my college career was the team's winning record against uGA, (what's the good word?) with Tech up 3-1 during my time there.
Currently back down at my parents farm chorin and training so that I can be a top contender for 1st overall TE. Currently sitting at 50 (approved) TPE with 58 waiting in the update portal. Pushing for speed and endurance so I can give those LBs the fancy feet. With all that out of the way, fire away with your questions!
@DangWookie
Q: Hank, the people want to know: just how fancy are your feet and how do you intend to make them more fancy?
A: Mr. Wookie, thanks for getting the party started here. Currently I would say my feet are sitting at 7/10 fancy with only room for improvement. But I am going to let you in on a secret that all the big shoe companies don't want you to know. The groundwork for fancy feet actually starts with the socks, and nothing feels better than Kirkland Signature 100% cotton no shows. Moving forward I want to speak with Justa Ol'Shoe for a prospect collab. With those custom pieces I think we are looking at least at a 8.3/10 fancy feet score. Those LBs will think James Bond just danced around them.
@firstfray
Q: With the draft 1 week away, how are you feeling? Starting to get nervous? Any workouts/interviews with teams? What prospect bowl are you on and what do you hope to show off to teams during the short stint there?
A: firstfray I'm sorry to tell you but in this thread you're secondfray. You're right the draft is only 1 week away, but I have dedicated this entire off-season, hell my whole life for this moment, to hear my name read up on the podium. I wouldn't say I'm nervous at all, I am confident. Confident in my self, confident in skills and confident that whoever drafts me will get one hell of a tight end and team player. Several DSFL GMs and scouts have reached out to me, and invited me to their LRs. So far everyone has been supportive and shown a lot of interest. Based on my own scouting report I know there are a few teams with shallow depth at tight end, that I really think I could help fill out. I think at the moment I have a running favorite but I won't spoil it. As far as the prospect bowl I got placed on to the Guyana Golden Eagles (Geagle Gang). We had an impressive showing last night. I think the clear star is @WildfireMicro at RB, absolutely lighting up the Kodiaks defense. I won't sugar coat it I had a bad first two games, only receiving 5 targets with 1 completion for 12 yards. For now in the prospect bowl I want to show my grit, that I won't let one or two bad games get in my head. It's time to mentally reset and get back out on the field and move that ball. Keep an eye out for 33, I'm gonna go for the gold.
@CROney3
Q: Do chickens have actual lips? What is the best Wi-Fi a name you've seen? How many chickens would it take to kill an elephant?
A: Having spent most of my life on a farm with 100s of chickens I can safely say that yes, chickens have lips and they are particularly good whistlers. The best WiFi I ever saw was a hotspot in the student center "It Hurts When IP", hopefully you use a vpn when you connect to that one. The average chicken weighs 5.7 pounds and a pecking force of 3.4 lbs. The recommended caliber of bullet to hunt elephants is a .450 which generates 2700 foot pounds of energy If we assume the bullet hits the elephant right in the head from a distance of 100 yards for the one shot kill, we are looking at approximately 9 lbs of force. Using this math it would take 3 well coordinated chickens to peck an elephant in the head to kill it. Don't check the math.
@LtHudz
Q: Hank, here in the back! Was wondering how you feel your college game will transfer over to the SIFL? Also, how do you feel about egg salad?
A: Hudz, you need to work on your projection it was hard to hear you back there. I will always look back at my time at Georgia Tech as one of the most influential times in my life. not only did I continue to hone my athletic abilities at Tech but I also experienced a lot of personal growth. I went from Yeehaw Junction, population 244, to the heart of one of the largest metropolitan areas in the country. I was able to experience a whole new world of cultures that I was never exposed to. I swear I probably ate my weight in Indian food several times over per week. On the field I learned what it means to be competitive and to be part of team that is more than the players on the field. The support I experienced from the alumni really inspired me to work as hard as I could on the field, to make sure they were proud of my performance. I can only imagine the DSFL will take that to the next level. I'm here to win, to lift my team up and to make the fans proud to come to the games. Egg salad blows.
@jollyjiggs
Q: Since this is the season of the Tight Ends, what's something many people may not know about the position? Does Hank have any secret talents?
A: A huge part of the position that does get talked about is positional awareness and being light on you're feet. You have to keep one eye on the guy covering you, but you need to keep another eye on the secondary. That way when you dance around your cover you're ready to burn the next guy. Also if you're fast enough you can double as wide receiver and run a sneaky deep route. My secret talent goes back to the farm days, but I can carry 15 chickens at once.
@MikeWhiskey
Q: Tank McGibbons, as a fellow farm boy, is interested in knowing what your favorite and least favorite chores are.
A: Howdy Tank, us farm folk need to stick together in these big towns. Hands down the worse chore/activity was washing the hogs for market. They would be caked in mud and dirt and their own poop. Seven showers wasn't enough to get that smell off my body. My favorite was definitely feeding the chickens. Always such a peaceful experience, they'd follow me around as I dropped handfuls of seed. I swear a handful of them thought as me as their best friend. An honorable mention for favorite chore was wrangling the cattle, we had a family horse that was a riot to ride around.
@TwoSocks
Q: What makes you different from the other prospects in this class? What is your go to joke to get a few laughs? Are you a trash talker, friend maker, or stone face person on the field?
A: Based off a cursory glance at the tight end prospects there is a clear cutoff in player activity. Out of the 10 or so I only see about 4 that are actively working and training to get better. On a more personal note, I have a certain level of grit and perseverance. I am committed to becoming the best tight end in the DSFL and beyond. I think whichever team I end up on would be able to utilize me right from the start. In the locker room I am one of the friendliest guys, but on the field I am a straight shooter. It is about moving the ball and supporting the team and fans. If I am ever trying to break the ice I hit them with: "What's ET short for? Cause he has tiny legs!" People usually laugh out of pity, but it counts.
@wizard_literal
Q: If you had 6 hours to hide a bus, how would you do it?
A: I think the easiest way to do this would be to rent out a local hangar at a small airport and park the bus inside. My other choice would be to drive and park it in the middle of a public bus or school bus lot, depending on what kind of bus it is. Few things better than hiding in plain sight.
![[Image: ChickenLips.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/ChickenLips.gif)
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![[Image: socks.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/774436556889915413/1124461800109391943/socks.png)
![[Image: wizard_literal.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/wizard_literal.gif)
