(S44) PT #1 - Football is for Everyone

[moonlight]

Alita Battle Angel was tasked with making the International Simulation League and this crazy game of American Football more enticing to a group of aliens visiting from another planet. Alita is well versed with alien life considering she was born on Mars. She's actually an alien being herself. Well robot technically, but close enough. She started with making a video series with the help of the International Simulation Football league's media crew. She made snippets of video, instructing aliens on the basic rules of the game and then a run down of what every position on the football field was doing. The aliens seems enthralled by the content of the videos and swiftly absorbed the information seemingly overnight. The aliens were then taken to a football field and were surprisingly well versed on the rules and athletic on the football field. We might have some future stars from other planets soon making an impact on the field during the upcoming seasons.

Code:

161 words

[ScrambledEggs]

[Pib]

Where do you even begin on this one? There’s so much to cover when it comes to the game of Football, especially when explaining it to someone that may never have even seen a sport before, let alone one as complex as ours. I think a simple breakdown would be required, for obvious reasons. I’m thinking of a star quarterback from the league, such as Winters, throwing the ball to a receiver in the endzone and celebrating — you know, just for a little visual reinforcement. Perhaps a star kicker, such as JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ, putting one squarely between the uprights.

To represent the defense, perhaps we have a star pass rusher or two, such as Arizona’s Turtles absolutely obliterating Winters. We could then follow it up with an interception from Spottie O'Dopaliscious — although footage of such a rare sight may be hard to find as they’re rarer than the lifeforms we’re trying to contact. Still, I’m sure we can find one somewhere… you know, from his high school highlight reel.

Code:

168 words

[Dustillation]

Of course since we're the Yeti of all teams the ISFL's Colorado representative would create a mockumentary for NASA as a way to convey a message about athletics and competition in the US. However, we're not quite sure how sarcasm will be interpreted by life outside of Earth. But like I always say, a being that can't understand sarcasm, probably wasn't intelligent enough to be worth the time anyway. Some of the key representatives in the Yeti's mockumentary would be of course be led by key players such as Swamp Maiden, National Treasure, and Mister Hogmally. The content would again be mostly satirical going on about how sports aren't that serious and it's a very low income and nearly unsustainable profession, but will convey a very real message of how teamwork and comradery are key values for the Yeti and of course the human race as a whole. Hopefully the message is received as light-hearted and fun so whoever may be watching understands that we're a peaceful society that just sometimes is highly misguided.

[DL14]

Written option: NASA has reached out to ISFL HO and have asked a representative from the league to make a video teaching extraterrestrial life the game of football. What kind of video would it be? Is it instructional, is it a mockumentary? Who else is in this video? What is your main message to E.T.'s? Describe it all!
(60 words)
It would, as per usual with the league, be a mockumentary. I highly doubt most people would resist the urge to make a bit of comedy, even if it’s supposed to be a serious affair with NASA involved. I would propose we send our beloved Blorgl as the representative from the video, since it wouldn’t really be a mockumentary without the subject of the ISFL’s cult-like devotion. With him on the video, we’d show them the basics of the game, perhaps with a bit of insider jokes they’re not really supposed to get. We’d probably grab a few other players from around the league in order to demonstrate some of the concepts (such as what a pass is, a catch, a run, an interception, etc.). Our main message to the extraterrestrials would be that in the ISFL we love to have a bit of fun in this dumb game of moving around a ball to reach imaginary painted lines, while also having a cult-like devotion to our overlord Blorgl.

[IHateBobNutting]

It would be an instructional video. It will focus on the important part of football which as we all know is defense. Not just defense, but It will start with how to become a good defenseman. Step 1 is to eat as much as possible and become 400 pounds. That is the key to becoming a good football player. Once they are fat then they will be good football players. Half of the video will be focused on the proper diet necessary to become 400 pounds. The second half of the video will be about why the only football team in the ISFL that matters is the New Orleans Secondline. Once they learn to become Secondline fans, they will be shown footage of the greatest hits of the New Orleans Secondline. Think of it like North Korean Propaganda but for the greatest ISFL team in history. NEVA LOST! This is how I would tell aliens about football.

[aeonsjenni]

Mary Marie's video would start with a fairly conventional explanation about the rules of football. She would explain what all the positions were, how they operated, and what made the sport interesting. However, as it would continue, she would slowly introduce more and more bizarre and strange elements, and the examples would become increasingly physical and violent—a pig in a top hat catching a football thrown by a dog, only to be blown up by the Apollo Space Program. Of course, the program would stand over the aching pig, brutally mocking him. No flag for taunting. Marie, the narrator, would explain the vital necessity of taunting and psychological warfare. Later, the offensive line would commit a leverage penalty to block a punt, and Marie would explain the importance of bribing the refs after committing blatant penalties. The bribe would be unsuccessful, though, and a horrible brawl would break out. Both (example) teams would lose multiple players. The fight would be scripted, but the violence would be real.

[jeffie43]

If I had to find a way to teach other people football on my own I would probably create a mix of a mockumentary and an actual instructional documentary. I would split it into multiple parts so it would be easier for everyone to digest rather than a sudden information overload for people, or, aliens in this case. I think the first episode would be about the history of football and how it evolved into America's favorite sport at this point, and the second part would go over the basics of football and briefly describing each position and their own individual duties that they would have to carry out. The next few episodes would go over each individual positions and their unique playstyles and the different players that play them at a high level, this would include highlight reels and such to keep the audience engaged. From then on my hope would be for the audience to understand the sport enough where the mockumentary of funny bloopers would provide quality entertainment and hook the viewer.

[MobiausGrander]

For everyone, we have had dreams to go to space. BUt for me, space is about to reach the ISFL. I was tasked by nasa to create a idea explicating to aliens about our wonderful game on earth. The video would show NOLA practices from the beginning to the end. First, it will start with offense training and how NOLA prepares game plans. Then, it will move to thd defense and show how they will prepare for gamedays each week. Finally, we have special teams, where we show off how we initiate kicks and punts and such. Hope the video, is well liked by the aliens or else we