03-11-2024, 12:04 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-19-2024, 08:48 AM by wetwilleh. Edited 1 time in total.)
SH: We are so back, baby! Hello and welcome to a beautiful new episode - and, hey, a new season - of the world’s second-best interview show on the planet, it’s Shazam!, and I’m your host, Preston “Shazam” Hefner. It’s been a few hectic years, what with ESPN trying to screw me over and kick me off the airwaves, but we’re back! And we have a new timeslot! We’re so back! And we even brought Terrence over with us too into our new studio! Terrence, man, what a guy.
Anyway, the name of today’s guest may seem a bit interesting to some of our long-time listeners. I know that some of you may think I’m being paid by this kid’s dad to say this, but rest assured - he’s the next face of whatever franchise gets lucky enough to draft him. Ladies and gentlemen, in his big-screen debut, say hello to Derrick Prince Jr.!
DPJ: Alright, alright, how we doin’ tonight? I’m happy to be here, Preston - thank you so much for inviting me today, I promise not to disappoint.
SH: Strong words! I like it! Anyway, first question is this - I’m sorry, man, just…Christ. You got a hell of a ton of baggage surrounding you, and I’mma have to credit most of it to your family name. Your dad and I go wayyy back - hell, he was the first person I ever interviewed, all those seasons ago. Derrick Prince was key in stuff like the Cape Town Crash’s first few years, and a major part of their historic S41 Ultimus. My question to you is this: do you think that with your father’s accomplishments, you’ll have big shoes to fill?
DPJ: With all due respect to my dad, the last few seasons of his career weren’t kind to him. I mean, sure, he was fantastic in his prime, sure, but you look at the later seasons? In fucking New Orleans? He wasn’t even the best Prince on his own receiving corps, Eli Prince continuously got thousand-yard seasons while he sat at the bottom, just happy to be there. That couldn’t have been the man I know who made it out, who fought tooth and nail to get where he was. I, personally, plan to dwarf all the records and stuff that brought Dad fame, and I can promise this to any GM who decides to draft me - hell, I’ll even go and break some of his records at Bondi Beach or back at Cape Town, go and prove a point - I’ll be the one and only Derrick Prince that needs to go down into history books. C’mon - next question.
SH: Jesus…all that I asked was if you thought you could fill your dad’s shoes…
DPJ: And I said what I said, did I not? But if you want a true answer, I’ll break into his shoes, switch into some Jordan 4s with my name on them, and toss his over a telephone wire, that’s how confident I feel I am.
SH: …Man. Well, next question is this - you’ve been able to do a bit of a parlay with a few of your fellow receiver prospects. What do you think you bring to the table that they can’t.
DPJ: Name-brand safety. You think of Derrick Prince, I gotta give him credit, he worked hard and trained for a while, and he was good in his peak. I plan to not only carry that torch, but start bonfires with it, make people understand that I’m here for the long run.
SH: Hm. Let’s talk about Prince Pleasure - your dad’s lifestyle company that’s set him up to be a multi-millionaire. You’ve joined the small, yet notable list of athletes - including Derrick Sr. and most of the championship Crash team - in becoming spokespersons for the company. We’ve seen this happen plenty of times, most notably with LaVar Ball’s kids on Big Baller Brand. How do you think having that extra pressure of your dad’s brand relying on you has either helped or hindered you through your time at Temple, and how will it transfer to the playing fields of the ISFL?
DPJ: Look at Lamelo. Look at Lonzo. You see how those two turned out?
SH: Lonzo was almost out of the league by 26. And the third one, LiAngelo, never even made it past the G League.
DPJ: Lonzo still is engrained in NBA history, and Lamelo became one of Charlotte’s biggest stars. They both did wonders for Big Baller Brand, and I intend to do the same with my dad’s company, no matter how or what I need to do to get it out there.
SH: Wait, sorry - so you’re upset at Derrick Sr. for not living up to his potential, but you’re still trying to promote his brand?
DPJ: Easy explanation, Preston - I’m trying to live the life my dad wishes he could’ve lived. Easy and simple as that. No tricks, no sleeves, no nothing - I’m just gonna play my heart and soul out, prove to everyone I’m better than my father. And I’ll bring home one Ultimus, and then another one, and then another one, and I’ll be gloating in his face all the while.
SH: …I miss your dad. Anyway, our last question for today: what do you plan to do differently from your father? You said you’d break his shoes, what do you think you’ll do?
DPJ: Training. Training, training, training. Dad always thought good would easily come to him - hell, no, you have to work hard to get where you gotta get, and this whole mantra of training and working hard and allat is letting me get where I wanna get.
SH: And, by chance, where is the place you “wanna get?”
DPJ: Easy answer, Preston. The top.
SH: And scene, I guess. Thank you so much to Mr. Derrick Prince Jr. for coming along to say hello to all of us, and we just wanted to let the people know that applications to appear on the show are open - if you want to talk and make a quick extra 2 million or so, please, feel free to call. But until then, I’m Shazam Hefner, see you on the next episode of SHAZAM!
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