03-28-2024, 01:38 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-28-2024, 10:03 PM by wetwilleh. Edited 1 time in total.)
For the true degenerates, another fantasy football season will start tonight. 15 addicts have come together to fight for the DSFL fantasy crown. Even with nothing but pride on the line, I couldn’t resist digging into the data to try and find an edge in my draft. Since I did the research myself already, I’ve decided to put together a ranking of the top players at each position.
QB
While traditional thinking in both ISFL and NFL fantasy would say to draft a RB early, the numbers tell me that the top end QBs are going to be the most influential players when it comes to winning a DSFL fantasy championship. Last season, the gap between the #2 QB (Bugs) and the #3 QB was 72.8 points!! No other position had a gap even close to that from one rank to the next, and for that reason I think you’d be silly not to take one of the top 2 QBs if you were lucky enough to snag a top 2 pick. I hope I’m wrong (sconnie made me pick last) but I think it’ll be hard to beat anyone who was able to come away with either of these league winners. If you weren’t lucky enough to grab one, the gap between the 3rd and 5th QB likely isn’t to be very large so I’d recommend waiting until you got your skill positions out of the way.
1. Bugs (BBB)
The biggest thing I noticed when looking at last year’s stats is that a strong running QB is an absolutely massive advantage in DSFL fantasy football. Bugs was 2nd only to Dyson in total fantasy points last season and Bondi figures to rely on him heavily again this year. With Stickhands-McGee and Ser Ial to throw to and not much competition in the backfield, I expect Bugs to finish as the most valuable fantasy asset this season.
2. Elijah Dyson (NOR)
Everything I said about Bugs applies here. Dyson finished last season as the QB1 and number 1 player overall with 316.64 points. I’ve ranked him 2nd just because the supporting cast may not be at quite the same level, but running QBs go BRRRR and I think we can expect a similar performance in S47.
3. Puddles O’Duck (TIJ)
Puddles comes in at number 3 in my QB rankings, although it is a very distant 3rd. As mentioned above, the gap between a strong running QB and a strong pocket passer is significant. That being said, O’Duck figures to be the best pocket passer in the league and should air it out to Benn all season long. I expect him to lead the league in passing yards and TDs. Unrelated - it’s a crime that O’Duck does not play for Minnesota
4. Scudl McDiddl (LON)
The next pocket passer on the list is the signal caller across the pond, Scudl McDiddl. He finished 3rd in passing yards last season and has a strong supporting cast to throw to, including Donquixote and Lane Wilson.
5. Billy Van Goff (POR)
Rounding out the top 5 is Billy Van Goff. While only 6th in yards last season, Van Goff actually led the league in pass attempts. With Portland’s defense still looking pretty weak on paper, I would expect him to get close to that number again and is worth picking just for the volume alone. He also has to feed Higbee enough so that the locker room doesn’t implode.
6. Russell Jimmies (KCC)
7. Greg Hirsch (MINN)
8. Jamarcus Qiller (DAL)
RB
The RBs were by far the hardest position group to rank for me. Outside of Tijuana, every RB has a murky situation at best where we have to try and guess how exactly they will be used or if they will keep their spot on the depth chart all season. In my opinion Johnson is in a tier by himself, followed by a tier occupied by both Minnesota RBs. After that, you could make arguments for a myriad of guys so I’d suggest just taking who you like best or who you’d most want to root for.
1. Brandon Johnson (TIJ)
The clear #1 fantasy RB this season is Brandon Johnson from Tijuana. Johnson is a maxed out power back who finds himself alone in the backfield. Tijuana is likely to score a lot of points and that means Johnson is likely to score a lot of touchdowns. Some have argued that Johnson should go 1st overall (they’re wrong), but there should be no doubt that he’s in a class of his own for fantasy RBs this season.
2. Soul King Brook (MINN)
As a rookie, power back King Brook eclipsed 900 yards, scored 12 touchdowns, and was extremely efficient with an impressive 5 ypc. He’s only gotten better, and Minnesota now figures to run the ball even more than they did last season. I think it’s a safe bet for Soul to lead the league in rushing touchdowns this season, but he does have to compete with 2 other strong running backs. The expected rushing volume for Minnesota should make him a safe pick, but his ceiling is capped some due to the stacked backfield.
3. Dominic Reynolds (MINN)
The second part of the dynamic duo (or trio?) in Minnesota is receiving back Dominic Reynolds. Last season this role was filled by Willie Swaggert who ended up finishing as the number 1 RB overall. Reynolds has the opportunity to reach those heights, though I think it will be a little bit harder because he relies on a mobile, rookie QB to get him the rock. Still, Reynolds should get plenty of high value touches on a team that should use their RBs a ton.
4. Lane Wilson (LON)
Much like QB, we’re now splitting hairs when it comes to trying to rank guys. Wilson has some competition in the backfield with rookie Zipstep, but he holds a healthy TPE lead and utilizes the same skillset. With that in mind, I’d expect him to get the majority of touches all season and finish as an RB1.
5. Dazen Guile (DAL)
Though Cush Jones is currently the RB1 in Dallas, I expect Guile to take that spot in just another week or two, giving him a higher ceiling than most RBs in the league. Though lots has changed with personnel, the number 1 RB in Dallas finished last season as the overall RB2. I’d also expect the RBs to get a fair amount of touches as they ease in their rookie QB. While it may be risky to bet on a player that doesn’t sit atop the depth chart to finish top 5, I think the potential is there.
6. Worsethan Blaze (NOR)
Everyone’s favorite fullback, Blaze will probably get a healthy amount of carries early on. That being said, I think Claflin will get more work than many think and will eat into his production as the season goes on.
7. Gucci Gurley (POR)
Gurley would be higher if TPE values weren’t going to change as Portland should give their running backs plenty of opportunities to score. However, I am expecting Gurley to get passed and lose the starting job midseason, making him a riskier pick than those in the top 6.
8. Cush Jones (DAL)
Despite predicting that he loses the starting job, Jones should still get his fair share of opportunities in an offense that is likely to feature their RBs.
9. Animal Blundetto (POR)
10. Zigzag Zipsep (LON)
11. Maeve Mascarpone (MINN)
12. Nathan Claflin Jr. (NOR)
WR
There is a ton of talent at WR, which made it hard to rank but fun to go through. From what I gathered looking at last season’s stats, scheme seems to be more important than raw TPE so I tried to keep that in mind. I think there is a clear #1 WR, but after that there are plenty of guys that could step up and be huge difference makers.
1. Andre Benn (TIJ)
Benn is coming off an absolute monster season where he ended with 1500+ yards and 18 TDs, which both led the DSFL. I see no reason for this production to slow down, as Benn will continue to catch passes from O’Duck and actually has decreased target competition compared to last year. In my opinion there is no other WR even worth considering over him and he is an easy selection to make at the end of the 1st round.
2. Chopper Donquixote (LON)
Similar to Benn, Donquixote is coming off a strong season where he finished top 5 in both yards and touchdowns. The trio of McDiddl, Donquixote, and Tez are all returning which means there’s no reason we shouldn’t expect a repeat performance in S47. Lock him in for another 1300+ yard season.
3. Meo Stickyhands-Mcgee (BBB)
The name should speak for itself, but Stickyhands-Mcgee is primed for a strong season in Bondi Beach. As the only returning receiver on an offense I’d expect to be pretty pass heavy, it’s hard to imagine a better scenario for Meo to truly breakout in his sophomore season. Though we are betting on potential here, I think we can expect him to fill de la Rosa’s shoes quite nicely while Ser Ial takes the role he had last season.
4. Benny Hanna (NOR)
From what I’ve seen in DSFL drafts so far, Hanna appears to be the most slept on WR available this year. Benny is coming off a 1200 yard, 15 (!!!) TD season and is a good bet to again be the focal point of an offense that likes to air it out. Unrelated but I’m also suddenly hungry.
5. Lawrence Crawford (TIJ)
Despite somewhat low TPE as we head into week 1, Crawford could not ask for a better situation to be in as a rookie. He fills the role held by Pitter Patter, who led the league in receptions last season and was just 1 off the TD lead with 17. With Benn taking the pressure off him, Crawford should feast as the secondary receiver and continue to grow into his role as the season goes on. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him propel his fantasy owner’s into the group lead in the back half of the season.
6. Jonathon Irons (POR)
With the departure of Brad Woof, Irons assumes the #1 spot on the depth chart this season and is likely to see the bulk of the targets in the passing game. The situation is great and I expect Irons to put up a lot of yards, but Portland only had 16 passing touchdowns last season and they’d need to probably double that number for Irons to compete with guys like Benn and Donquixote. High ceiling, but I’m not sold on him as a top 5 asset.
7. Hollywood Tez (LON)
Much like Crawford, I think Tez is slipping under the radar somewhat because he’s 2nd on the depth chart. As a rookie, Hollywood finished last season top 5 in yards and only finished far behind Donquixote because of the TD discrepancy. I expect the TD difference to be less drastic this season and for Tez to have another great year.
8. Julian Rose (MINN)
Rose is coming off an impressive rookie season, but Minnesota just isn’t likely to pass all that much. Even last season, with an offense more focused on passing the ball, Minnesota was dead last in passing TDs. They’ve now got a rookie QB with accuracy issues and a stable of 3 strong RBs so I think the ceiling here is pretty low. Regardless, being the #1 receiving option on a good team has some merit and I think that makes him an okay pick in the later rounds.
9. Ser Ial (BBB)
10. Old Man Walker (DAL)
11. Warren Peace (NOR)
12. Dee Fernandez (DAL)
13. Big Tractor (KCC)
TE
When I looked at last year’s stats, I concluded that the TE position did not really matter much in DSFL fantasy. However, after looking through the options this season, I think there may be some value in grabbing one of the top 2 TEs early on. After Higbee and Kronkowski, every TE is either a blocking TE or a ~50 TPE rookie on an offense that likely won’t use them. If you don’t get one of the top 2, I would advise not even looking at the position again until you are making your last pick.
1. Tyler Higbee II (POR)
The yap god himself is the best bet to lead the DSFL TEs in receiving this season. Portland only rosters one human WR, giving Higbee an opportunity to be the #2 target on the team. That being said, it’s hard to put up good stats as a tight end and I wouldn’t expect him to be a huge difference maker as far as your fantasy teams go.
2. Bob Kronkowski (TIJ)
Kronkowski comes it at #2 and is the only other DSFL TE that is likely to produce meaningful stats. It wouldn’t shock me if he actually finished about Higbee, given he ended last season just 1 yard behind him. This is your last chance to secure a TE who has the potential to actually score points for you.
3. Steve Austin (NOR)
4. James Gilbert (BBB)
5. Hex Waters II (MINN)
6. Kurt Wagner (POR)
OL
I’m not going to write any blurbs for OL because they genuinely do not make a difference unless there is a massive shift in scores from S46. I ranked the 3 active user players at the top but just look for one on an offense you think is going to be good and then call it a day.
1. Taylor Swift (MINN)
2. Gusztav Farkas (DAL)
3. Acutiramus Bohemius (DAL)
4. Macho Man (TIJ)
5. Dee Gen-X (TIJ)
K
Same as OL, you just want the kicker on the team you think will score the most points.
1. Daniel Kenny (TIJ)
2. Wynn Jenkins (BBB)
3. Cameron Oswald-Newton (MINN)
4. Harry Kane (LON)
5. Ball GoFar (NOR)
Defense
Defense is interesting, because it can actually be a pretty decent difference maker but it also can be pretty random with how many points they score. I mostly used total TPE as an indicator of how good a defense would be, but I also referenced last year’s scores for teams that were close. Because of Minnesota’s massive TPE advantage on defense, I wouldn’t be strongly against picking them earlier than you’d normally start looking at the position.
1. Minnesota Grey Ducks
2. London Royals
3. Dallas Birddogs
4. Kansas City Coyotes
5. Tijuana Luchadores
Well that’s it. I hope at least a handful of the 15 DSFL fantasy participants found this interesting. The TPE cap and the decimated rosters make this a very difficult thing to predict, but that’s what makes it fun.
QB
While traditional thinking in both ISFL and NFL fantasy would say to draft a RB early, the numbers tell me that the top end QBs are going to be the most influential players when it comes to winning a DSFL fantasy championship. Last season, the gap between the #2 QB (Bugs) and the #3 QB was 72.8 points!! No other position had a gap even close to that from one rank to the next, and for that reason I think you’d be silly not to take one of the top 2 QBs if you were lucky enough to snag a top 2 pick. I hope I’m wrong (sconnie made me pick last) but I think it’ll be hard to beat anyone who was able to come away with either of these league winners. If you weren’t lucky enough to grab one, the gap between the 3rd and 5th QB likely isn’t to be very large so I’d recommend waiting until you got your skill positions out of the way.
1. Bugs (BBB)
The biggest thing I noticed when looking at last year’s stats is that a strong running QB is an absolutely massive advantage in DSFL fantasy football. Bugs was 2nd only to Dyson in total fantasy points last season and Bondi figures to rely on him heavily again this year. With Stickhands-McGee and Ser Ial to throw to and not much competition in the backfield, I expect Bugs to finish as the most valuable fantasy asset this season.
2. Elijah Dyson (NOR)
Everything I said about Bugs applies here. Dyson finished last season as the QB1 and number 1 player overall with 316.64 points. I’ve ranked him 2nd just because the supporting cast may not be at quite the same level, but running QBs go BRRRR and I think we can expect a similar performance in S47.
3. Puddles O’Duck (TIJ)
Puddles comes in at number 3 in my QB rankings, although it is a very distant 3rd. As mentioned above, the gap between a strong running QB and a strong pocket passer is significant. That being said, O’Duck figures to be the best pocket passer in the league and should air it out to Benn all season long. I expect him to lead the league in passing yards and TDs. Unrelated - it’s a crime that O’Duck does not play for Minnesota
4. Scudl McDiddl (LON)
The next pocket passer on the list is the signal caller across the pond, Scudl McDiddl. He finished 3rd in passing yards last season and has a strong supporting cast to throw to, including Donquixote and Lane Wilson.
5. Billy Van Goff (POR)
Rounding out the top 5 is Billy Van Goff. While only 6th in yards last season, Van Goff actually led the league in pass attempts. With Portland’s defense still looking pretty weak on paper, I would expect him to get close to that number again and is worth picking just for the volume alone. He also has to feed Higbee enough so that the locker room doesn’t implode.
6. Russell Jimmies (KCC)
7. Greg Hirsch (MINN)
8. Jamarcus Qiller (DAL)
RB
The RBs were by far the hardest position group to rank for me. Outside of Tijuana, every RB has a murky situation at best where we have to try and guess how exactly they will be used or if they will keep their spot on the depth chart all season. In my opinion Johnson is in a tier by himself, followed by a tier occupied by both Minnesota RBs. After that, you could make arguments for a myriad of guys so I’d suggest just taking who you like best or who you’d most want to root for.
1. Brandon Johnson (TIJ)
The clear #1 fantasy RB this season is Brandon Johnson from Tijuana. Johnson is a maxed out power back who finds himself alone in the backfield. Tijuana is likely to score a lot of points and that means Johnson is likely to score a lot of touchdowns. Some have argued that Johnson should go 1st overall (they’re wrong), but there should be no doubt that he’s in a class of his own for fantasy RBs this season.
2. Soul King Brook (MINN)
As a rookie, power back King Brook eclipsed 900 yards, scored 12 touchdowns, and was extremely efficient with an impressive 5 ypc. He’s only gotten better, and Minnesota now figures to run the ball even more than they did last season. I think it’s a safe bet for Soul to lead the league in rushing touchdowns this season, but he does have to compete with 2 other strong running backs. The expected rushing volume for Minnesota should make him a safe pick, but his ceiling is capped some due to the stacked backfield.
3. Dominic Reynolds (MINN)
The second part of the dynamic duo (or trio?) in Minnesota is receiving back Dominic Reynolds. Last season this role was filled by Willie Swaggert who ended up finishing as the number 1 RB overall. Reynolds has the opportunity to reach those heights, though I think it will be a little bit harder because he relies on a mobile, rookie QB to get him the rock. Still, Reynolds should get plenty of high value touches on a team that should use their RBs a ton.
4. Lane Wilson (LON)
Much like QB, we’re now splitting hairs when it comes to trying to rank guys. Wilson has some competition in the backfield with rookie Zipstep, but he holds a healthy TPE lead and utilizes the same skillset. With that in mind, I’d expect him to get the majority of touches all season and finish as an RB1.
5. Dazen Guile (DAL)
Though Cush Jones is currently the RB1 in Dallas, I expect Guile to take that spot in just another week or two, giving him a higher ceiling than most RBs in the league. Though lots has changed with personnel, the number 1 RB in Dallas finished last season as the overall RB2. I’d also expect the RBs to get a fair amount of touches as they ease in their rookie QB. While it may be risky to bet on a player that doesn’t sit atop the depth chart to finish top 5, I think the potential is there.
6. Worsethan Blaze (NOR)
Everyone’s favorite fullback, Blaze will probably get a healthy amount of carries early on. That being said, I think Claflin will get more work than many think and will eat into his production as the season goes on.
7. Gucci Gurley (POR)
Gurley would be higher if TPE values weren’t going to change as Portland should give their running backs plenty of opportunities to score. However, I am expecting Gurley to get passed and lose the starting job midseason, making him a riskier pick than those in the top 6.
8. Cush Jones (DAL)
Despite predicting that he loses the starting job, Jones should still get his fair share of opportunities in an offense that is likely to feature their RBs.
9. Animal Blundetto (POR)
10. Zigzag Zipsep (LON)
11. Maeve Mascarpone (MINN)
12. Nathan Claflin Jr. (NOR)
WR
There is a ton of talent at WR, which made it hard to rank but fun to go through. From what I gathered looking at last season’s stats, scheme seems to be more important than raw TPE so I tried to keep that in mind. I think there is a clear #1 WR, but after that there are plenty of guys that could step up and be huge difference makers.
1. Andre Benn (TIJ)
Benn is coming off an absolute monster season where he ended with 1500+ yards and 18 TDs, which both led the DSFL. I see no reason for this production to slow down, as Benn will continue to catch passes from O’Duck and actually has decreased target competition compared to last year. In my opinion there is no other WR even worth considering over him and he is an easy selection to make at the end of the 1st round.
2. Chopper Donquixote (LON)
Similar to Benn, Donquixote is coming off a strong season where he finished top 5 in both yards and touchdowns. The trio of McDiddl, Donquixote, and Tez are all returning which means there’s no reason we shouldn’t expect a repeat performance in S47. Lock him in for another 1300+ yard season.
3. Meo Stickyhands-Mcgee (BBB)
The name should speak for itself, but Stickyhands-Mcgee is primed for a strong season in Bondi Beach. As the only returning receiver on an offense I’d expect to be pretty pass heavy, it’s hard to imagine a better scenario for Meo to truly breakout in his sophomore season. Though we are betting on potential here, I think we can expect him to fill de la Rosa’s shoes quite nicely while Ser Ial takes the role he had last season.
4. Benny Hanna (NOR)
From what I’ve seen in DSFL drafts so far, Hanna appears to be the most slept on WR available this year. Benny is coming off a 1200 yard, 15 (!!!) TD season and is a good bet to again be the focal point of an offense that likes to air it out. Unrelated but I’m also suddenly hungry.
5. Lawrence Crawford (TIJ)
Despite somewhat low TPE as we head into week 1, Crawford could not ask for a better situation to be in as a rookie. He fills the role held by Pitter Patter, who led the league in receptions last season and was just 1 off the TD lead with 17. With Benn taking the pressure off him, Crawford should feast as the secondary receiver and continue to grow into his role as the season goes on. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him propel his fantasy owner’s into the group lead in the back half of the season.
6. Jonathon Irons (POR)
With the departure of Brad Woof, Irons assumes the #1 spot on the depth chart this season and is likely to see the bulk of the targets in the passing game. The situation is great and I expect Irons to put up a lot of yards, but Portland only had 16 passing touchdowns last season and they’d need to probably double that number for Irons to compete with guys like Benn and Donquixote. High ceiling, but I’m not sold on him as a top 5 asset.
7. Hollywood Tez (LON)
Much like Crawford, I think Tez is slipping under the radar somewhat because he’s 2nd on the depth chart. As a rookie, Hollywood finished last season top 5 in yards and only finished far behind Donquixote because of the TD discrepancy. I expect the TD difference to be less drastic this season and for Tez to have another great year.
8. Julian Rose (MINN)
Rose is coming off an impressive rookie season, but Minnesota just isn’t likely to pass all that much. Even last season, with an offense more focused on passing the ball, Minnesota was dead last in passing TDs. They’ve now got a rookie QB with accuracy issues and a stable of 3 strong RBs so I think the ceiling here is pretty low. Regardless, being the #1 receiving option on a good team has some merit and I think that makes him an okay pick in the later rounds.
9. Ser Ial (BBB)
10. Old Man Walker (DAL)
11. Warren Peace (NOR)
12. Dee Fernandez (DAL)
13. Big Tractor (KCC)
TE
When I looked at last year’s stats, I concluded that the TE position did not really matter much in DSFL fantasy. However, after looking through the options this season, I think there may be some value in grabbing one of the top 2 TEs early on. After Higbee and Kronkowski, every TE is either a blocking TE or a ~50 TPE rookie on an offense that likely won’t use them. If you don’t get one of the top 2, I would advise not even looking at the position again until you are making your last pick.
1. Tyler Higbee II (POR)
The yap god himself is the best bet to lead the DSFL TEs in receiving this season. Portland only rosters one human WR, giving Higbee an opportunity to be the #2 target on the team. That being said, it’s hard to put up good stats as a tight end and I wouldn’t expect him to be a huge difference maker as far as your fantasy teams go.
2. Bob Kronkowski (TIJ)
Kronkowski comes it at #2 and is the only other DSFL TE that is likely to produce meaningful stats. It wouldn’t shock me if he actually finished about Higbee, given he ended last season just 1 yard behind him. This is your last chance to secure a TE who has the potential to actually score points for you.
3. Steve Austin (NOR)
4. James Gilbert (BBB)
5. Hex Waters II (MINN)
6. Kurt Wagner (POR)
OL
I’m not going to write any blurbs for OL because they genuinely do not make a difference unless there is a massive shift in scores from S46. I ranked the 3 active user players at the top but just look for one on an offense you think is going to be good and then call it a day.
1. Taylor Swift (MINN)
2. Gusztav Farkas (DAL)
3. Acutiramus Bohemius (DAL)
4. Macho Man (TIJ)
5. Dee Gen-X (TIJ)
K
Same as OL, you just want the kicker on the team you think will score the most points.
1. Daniel Kenny (TIJ)
2. Wynn Jenkins (BBB)
3. Cameron Oswald-Newton (MINN)
4. Harry Kane (LON)
5. Ball GoFar (NOR)
Defense
Defense is interesting, because it can actually be a pretty decent difference maker but it also can be pretty random with how many points they score. I mostly used total TPE as an indicator of how good a defense would be, but I also referenced last year’s scores for teams that were close. Because of Minnesota’s massive TPE advantage on defense, I wouldn’t be strongly against picking them earlier than you’d normally start looking at the position.
1. Minnesota Grey Ducks
2. London Royals
3. Dallas Birddogs
4. Kansas City Coyotes
5. Tijuana Luchadores
Well that’s it. I hope at least a handful of the 15 DSFL fantasy participants found this interesting. The TPE cap and the decimated rosters make this a very difficult thing to predict, but that’s what makes it fun.