03-24-2020, 10:10 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-24-2020, 10:57 PM by CalvinGolladay.)
Tijuana RB Tirtawidjaja (also referred to as “T,” “Tirt,” “Tirtle,” and “Tirtawhatever”) recently made waves in the DSFL world by splitting time in two games at both RB and QB. An extraordinary feat, and quite possibly the first in DSFL history, by the pr. Tijuana GM Dr. Jay Doctor M.D. made an executive decision in the days preceding the doubleheader to bench co-starting QB Jim Waters and play 3rd string RB Tirtawidjaja in his place. The move was shocking to many, but it quickly paid off as the soon-to-be Tijuana legend threw for 52 yards and one touchdown in his debut while completing 6/15 passes. Julio also played a snap at his former position of RB, rushing once for a single yard. Though the Luchadores won by two scores, Tirt’s touchdown pass still resulted in a momentum shift and rejuvenated the rest of his offense. Multiple league members surveyed were surprised by Dr. Jay Doctor M.D. 's decision to start his backup RB at QB, stating that they hadn’t realized such a move was possible. After the immense success of this test it’s likely that more teams will follow this trail blazed by Tijuana. Former co-starting QB Jim Waters was unavailable for comment and a well-connected insider claims he hasn’t been seen since the night before the Grey Ducks game. Many within the locker room declared the move to play Tirt a mistake, or used derogatory terms such as “wildcat QB” in their disbelief but were quickly proven wrong on both accounts.
It soon became clear that the decision to start Tirt wasn’t a gimmick or one game wonder, either, as Dr. Jay Doctor M.D. yet again put Tirtawidjaja on the field in a tight contest against the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers. The game ended in a 20-18 win for the Luchadores, with such a close final score demonstrating the trust the Tijuana FO places in soon-to-be starting QB Tirtawidjaja Former starter Ben Slothlisberger took a sack in the endzone for a safety resulting in a 5 point swing, forcing kicker Jacob Smalls to redeem previous misses with a game winning field goal. He also somehow committed a tripping penalty to kill a key drive, a feat many had also previously seen as impossible. Rumor has it that it was a clumsy attempt to pay homage to retiring Fair Rub Travis Frederick, an action that would make sense given Tijuana’s history of elite offensive linemen. Many within the organization have been clamoring for a fresh start after repeated 1-1 results after doubleheaders and believe Tirtawidjaja is exactly that. He fits the recent mold of young scrambler QBs, and given his excellent showing in his first ever start at QB it’s clear the ceiling is sky high here. His passing accuracy may have slightly regressed, going 5/15 and without a touchdown through the air, but he improved to 56 yards. However, his real production game on the ground this time. Julio rushed once for two yards, but Tirtawidjaja also scrambled for an 18 yard touchdown. When debating this up for grabs QB situation, some may cry that Slothlisberger’s completion percentage was 20% higher, or point to his lack of an interception. These attempted hot takes don’t manage to stand up under further scrutiny. In the words of the immortal John Madden, “Usually the team with the most points wins the game!” and “You can't win a game if you don't score any points.” Both statements are incredibly true and showcase Tirtawidjaja’s superiority, as he managed to score 12 points to Slothlisberger’s 0, 6 of which coming in a hotly contested 2 point victory. Former GM and HO member BigRed offered his insights on this phenomenon, briefly stating “12 is more than 0,” a sentiment shared by many within the league. Another noteworthy statistic is the Luchadores undefeated record under Tirtawidjaja, as compared to Slothlisberger’s three losses. Tijuana GMs Dr. Jay Doctor M.D. and FleshBagSoup were interviewed about the potential for a new starting quarterback, with both simply saying “we’ll see,” followed by sly winks. When confronted with these rumors, all Slothlisberger had to offer was “Obviously I’m disappointed with how things are turning out, but I can understand why FO is looking to move in another direction and I’ll continue to do my best to help the team through this.” This concession was a surprise to many, and perhaps the most concrete evidence that the Luchadores truly plan to make the right decision and go with Tirt here.
The move to start Tirtawidjaja has been met with plenty of skepticism, even after observing the unprecedented success it brought. Conspiracy theories quickly surfaced, the most widely accepted (and wildly inaccurate) claim being that former Tijuana Luchadores backup QB Jim Waters had changed his name. The motivation for this move is obvious, but Tirtawidjaja played nothing like the Jim Waters of old, and the distinctions between their playstyles were clear. Others believed that Waters and Tirtawidjaja had been the same person all along, with Waters deciding to shed his former persona permanently in favor of his more popular identity Tirtawidjaja. The common claim here is that Tijuana receiver and alleged satanist Thomas Passman was able to merge the two personalities in a manner ascending that of using multis. While a plausible explanation, most experts on the topic agree that had they been the same person Waters would have also experienced the same success as Tirtawidjaja, which obviously isn’t true given the improvement in play after the QB change. While some have attempted to explain the success of Tirt, others refused to believe that the 244th pick (240 picks later than Slothlisberger and 64 later than Waters) could be an elite DSFL quarterback, offering excuses to their fans and ownership to explain why they didn’t have the same eye for talent Tijuana possessed. Dallas Birddogs GM Gucci is the first to comment on the situation, offering his opinion after Portland went 1-1 in their doubleheader and suffered through a 11/30 performance from their QB in a loss to Norfolk: “We’ve already discussed this as GMs, and right now we’re demanding bans.” As of this article’s publishing he stands alone in making public statements, but his plural use of GM implies that he’s not alone in this opinion. We’re confident that Tirtawidjaja’s performance will survive the impending HO investigation, and will continue to assert that these accusations are nothing of substance. Regardless of how others try to spin the story, the Luchadores’ recent wins over Minnesota and Myrtle Beach will go down in the history books under the lead of signal caller Tirtawidjaja.
Disclaimer: Some quotes may be lightly paraphrased or lacking context.
1104 Words
It soon became clear that the decision to start Tirt wasn’t a gimmick or one game wonder, either, as Dr. Jay Doctor M.D. yet again put Tirtawidjaja on the field in a tight contest against the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers. The game ended in a 20-18 win for the Luchadores, with such a close final score demonstrating the trust the Tijuana FO places in soon-to-be starting QB Tirtawidjaja Former starter Ben Slothlisberger took a sack in the endzone for a safety resulting in a 5 point swing, forcing kicker Jacob Smalls to redeem previous misses with a game winning field goal. He also somehow committed a tripping penalty to kill a key drive, a feat many had also previously seen as impossible. Rumor has it that it was a clumsy attempt to pay homage to retiring Fair Rub Travis Frederick, an action that would make sense given Tijuana’s history of elite offensive linemen. Many within the organization have been clamoring for a fresh start after repeated 1-1 results after doubleheaders and believe Tirtawidjaja is exactly that. He fits the recent mold of young scrambler QBs, and given his excellent showing in his first ever start at QB it’s clear the ceiling is sky high here. His passing accuracy may have slightly regressed, going 5/15 and without a touchdown through the air, but he improved to 56 yards. However, his real production game on the ground this time. Julio rushed once for two yards, but Tirtawidjaja also scrambled for an 18 yard touchdown. When debating this up for grabs QB situation, some may cry that Slothlisberger’s completion percentage was 20% higher, or point to his lack of an interception. These attempted hot takes don’t manage to stand up under further scrutiny. In the words of the immortal John Madden, “Usually the team with the most points wins the game!” and “You can't win a game if you don't score any points.” Both statements are incredibly true and showcase Tirtawidjaja’s superiority, as he managed to score 12 points to Slothlisberger’s 0, 6 of which coming in a hotly contested 2 point victory. Former GM and HO member BigRed offered his insights on this phenomenon, briefly stating “12 is more than 0,” a sentiment shared by many within the league. Another noteworthy statistic is the Luchadores undefeated record under Tirtawidjaja, as compared to Slothlisberger’s three losses. Tijuana GMs Dr. Jay Doctor M.D. and FleshBagSoup were interviewed about the potential for a new starting quarterback, with both simply saying “we’ll see,” followed by sly winks. When confronted with these rumors, all Slothlisberger had to offer was “Obviously I’m disappointed with how things are turning out, but I can understand why FO is looking to move in another direction and I’ll continue to do my best to help the team through this.” This concession was a surprise to many, and perhaps the most concrete evidence that the Luchadores truly plan to make the right decision and go with Tirt here.
The move to start Tirtawidjaja has been met with plenty of skepticism, even after observing the unprecedented success it brought. Conspiracy theories quickly surfaced, the most widely accepted (and wildly inaccurate) claim being that former Tijuana Luchadores backup QB Jim Waters had changed his name. The motivation for this move is obvious, but Tirtawidjaja played nothing like the Jim Waters of old, and the distinctions between their playstyles were clear. Others believed that Waters and Tirtawidjaja had been the same person all along, with Waters deciding to shed his former persona permanently in favor of his more popular identity Tirtawidjaja. The common claim here is that Tijuana receiver and alleged satanist Thomas Passman was able to merge the two personalities in a manner ascending that of using multis. While a plausible explanation, most experts on the topic agree that had they been the same person Waters would have also experienced the same success as Tirtawidjaja, which obviously isn’t true given the improvement in play after the QB change. While some have attempted to explain the success of Tirt, others refused to believe that the 244th pick (240 picks later than Slothlisberger and 64 later than Waters) could be an elite DSFL quarterback, offering excuses to their fans and ownership to explain why they didn’t have the same eye for talent Tijuana possessed. Dallas Birddogs GM Gucci is the first to comment on the situation, offering his opinion after Portland went 1-1 in their doubleheader and suffered through a 11/30 performance from their QB in a loss to Norfolk: “We’ve already discussed this as GMs, and right now we’re demanding bans.” As of this article’s publishing he stands alone in making public statements, but his plural use of GM implies that he’s not alone in this opinion. We’re confident that Tirtawidjaja’s performance will survive the impending HO investigation, and will continue to assert that these accusations are nothing of substance. Regardless of how others try to spin the story, the Luchadores’ recent wins over Minnesota and Myrtle Beach will go down in the history books under the lead of signal caller Tirtawidjaja.
Disclaimer: Some quotes may be lightly paraphrased or lacking context.
1104 Words