Hey everyone. Hope you’re all having an awesome day today. I’ve got another interview for you guys. This one is with one of our newest Butchers - Tree Gelbman, tight end. Tree was drafted by the Austin Copperheads, but actually never played a snap for them. They were already well equipped at the tight end position, so they left Tree Gelbman in the DSFL for her whole rookie contract, which she spent with the Kansas City Coyotes. Her contract expired at the end of the last season. After the Tree Gelbman sweepstakes, she decided on the Chicago Butchers as her new team. She’s been a delight to have in the locker room so far, popping in there just about every day since her signing was made official. The Chicago Butchers will look to field one of the best tight end tandems in the league sooner rather than later, pairing Tree with fellow Butcher Von Hayes. Let’s get into the questions.
Question: I know that leaving a DSFL team that you enjoyed can be hard, so what are some of the things that you'll miss the most about being with the Kansas City Coyotes?
Answer: What I’ll miss the most about Kansas City was the vibes that we had down there. We understood that we were here to have fun and while the Ultimini was the end goal, and one that we never achieved, we enjoyed ourselves while we played and didn’t over stress about it. The management was relaxed and did their best to accommodate all of our requests and were open about decisions that they were making. The clubhouse had some amazing bonding moments with each other and while I miss them dearly, it is nice to finally be in the big time.
I feel the same way about leaving Minnesota, so I completely understand. I made some great friends when I was a member of the Grey Ducks that I won’t soon forget, and I’m sure you feel the same way about Kansas City. The real Ultimini is the friends we made along the way. I’m sure we will make the same kind of connections during our time on the Chicago Butchers, considering how many wonderful personalities we have in that locker room.
Question: Who were your favorite people in that Coyotes locker room?
Answer: Oh man so many to choose from, there wasn’t a single person in that locker room in my three years there that I didn’t like. I’ll just go through a few in no specific order that I loved being around. Starting off is Starclown, I mean Starboy. Starclown was nothing but friendly to me when I first joined up with the league and showed extreme patience with me while I struggled to get accustomed to the league and website. Even during the period of time I missed on activity as I was in the hospital when I finally returned the only thing he said was “We’re glad to have you back.” Matty is another one, the new Kansas City Co-GM and the sassiest punter this side of the Mississippi. He was always down to have fun in the locker room but when it came time to sim he was ready at the drop of a hat to discuss strategies and laugh at the 3-4 being a viable defense. #YeetSquad, my wide receiver brothers from that magical run to the Ultimini Game. Y’all all definitely stole my targets and my stats suffered as a result of it, but you’re all beautiful people and deserve hugs. And the sack bros on the defensive line, Money and Sanchez, who were always down to play a game of RISK and make fun of Starclown’s poor decision making and pointing out that Money had 300 soldiers in Japan, again. I think that’s everyone, yup, can’t think of another person…...just kidding. Butters, my Josh Allen loving brother. You and I had an interesting relationship, talking about how much Josh Allen was going to rule the upcoming season and then you were banning me from the Kansas City locker room 5 minutes later for making a tree pun (I’m sure you a-Tree-ciate that I’m gone now), but I’ll miss ya. I could keep going on but I’m rambling long enough here and the full thank you list would be an entire document itself.
I had the same problem with an interview that I was a part of. With so many fantastic people in the league, it’s hard to just narrow it down to a short list for an interview answer haha. I know some of the Kansas City guys because of Minnesota’s “alliance” or whatever you want to call it. All of the ones in the Grey Ducks locker room seemed really fun and nice (even the strawberry milk drinkers, which I think included Matty), so I’m not surprised that you had such a great experience with them. Who knows, maybe some of your friends will end up with us on the Butchers one of these days.
Question: Why did you choose to sign with the Chicago Butchers? Who else were you considering?
Answer: I signed with the Butchers because I love what Bayley is doing with the team. The team was kinda dead and had an awful reputation surrounding it from what I’ve gathered, but it’s being turned around. What I loved the most was Bayley reached out near immediately after I announced I was hitting free agency in my presser and was talking about how much he wanted me in Chicago. The team is young and will be hitting their stride very soon, and I wanted to be a part of that. When people think of Chicago I want them to think of Tree Gelbman, like how you associate the Kansas City Chiefs with Patrick Mahomes II. I had two other teams reach out to me in free agency: the San Jose Sabercats and the Orange County Otters. Both teams made very convincing offers and it was hard to turn them down, SJS offered me playing time with people I was familiar with and loved being around while OCO offered me an immediate shot at an Ultimus, but I just felt Chicago was the right fit to me.
It makes me feel great about the team I’m on when I keep hearing people who aren’t on the team (or people who just joined the team in your case) talk about how good our leadership is. Bayley has gotten praise from so many people that I’ve talked to. I think he’s just really quick to jump on things, and great at communication (we love you too Muford, don’t worry). I get so excited when I look at the tracker and see how young and active our team is. We have the youngest team in the league, and we had 17 people update in last week’s update, which is crazy. It’s also exciting to me that you chose us, a 1-12 team over more successful teams like San Jose and Orange County. I’m glad that you made the choice that you did, because I’ve enjoyed you in the locker room so far! Even if that axe does make me a bit nervous...
Question: What was your first impression of the Butchers locker room?
Answer: My first impression of the locker room was how laid back it was. I’ve heard stories from other locker rooms that they’re much more uptight and demanding of their players but from what I gathered people there are pretty laid back. The opportunities to earn TPE are announced and you’re tagged in each one but the managers aren’t going to repeatedly press you and remind you to do them. They want to win but they also understand that you need to have fun in this league as well. People there are very friendly and are willing to help with any questions related to the league and I would tell all rookies that come here that you’re being invited to a very fun place to be.
That’s interesting that you’ve heard those stories, since it’s not like that at all (which I know you’ve learned on your own). I wonder if it’s people just passing down stories that were originally from the past leadership. I do enjoy the fact that Muford and Bayley first and foremost want people to be able to have fun and enjoy being in the league first and foremost. I’ve heard them say that before, and I think it’s a really interesting and nice approach to things. They want what’s best for the players, not necessarily what’s best for the team, as long as it doesn’t hamper the team too much. I think we’re under great leadership.
Question: How do you feel about being stuck in the DSFL for your entire rookie contract? Do you have any animosity towards Austin for that decision?
Answer: It had its ups and downs. I only signed a two year deal out of the draft so I knew my initial time with Austin was limited save for an extension. Going down the 1st season after I was drafted made sense, I wasn’t earning a ton of TPE and Austin had Larson up and didn’t exactly need my services. The 2nd season on my rookie deal though came as a bit of a surprise. I had hit the max TPE cap in the previous year so I had an entire season where I wasn’t updating anything and simply just banking. I could tell this was a hard decision for Kortesi but with Larson not being drafted in the expansion draft it threw a monkey wrench in the plans and I had a rather forgettable 3rd year in the DSFL. To answer your second question, I don’t hold any animosity towards Austin in the situation. The first year down after being drafted we both agreed on and I could tell that my second season on the rookie contract was a super reluctant send down. I have no ill-feelings towards that team or the players, they’re a solid group of guys and if the cards fall properly I’d be open to one day returning there and finally play a game in a Copperheads uniform.
It sounds like they didn’t plan on leaving you down there, so I don’t blame you for not being upset about it. It seems like it was just an awkward situation. It could be cool to have a reunion someday with the team that originally drafted, but I’ll admit that I hope we can keep you for quite a while! Maybe you can go on a Kobe Bryant-esque (rest in peace) reunion tour in your last season with Austin, hahah.
Question: You have been given the opportunity to make your own candy bar. Describe it to me.
Answer: A loaded question indeed. Personally, I think you need to stick to start with the name of the candy bar. After all, the best way to advertise your product is to have a catchy name for it. I’m calling my candy bar SBLOUNSKCHED! (which is how you’ll feel after eating one). First you start with the base which I’ll say will be made up of vaporized marshmallows that are then encased in a semi-solid milk chocolate colloid. Next you have to take those colloids and place them in a sea of peanut butter. Roll all of that into a tube made of pretzels and then you cover it in rich, creamy…uh, pepperoni. Then you need some more crunch on your candy bar, so you’ll sprinkle it with whole tiny bowls of Reese’s Puffs cereal including tiny spoons with it. Smother that bad boy in some boring brown chocolate and then slap the SBLOUNSKCHED! logo on the candy bar. Now the shape is important, and while the original plan was to make the candy bar in the shape of a bust of Martin Van Buren, that just proved too ineffective and costly. So we compromised and made the shape into the form of a tree for reasons that no one knows why. And to make sure no one steals the candy bar it comes with a bite taken out of it for security reasons. That’s my dream candy bar and no one can tell me it’s wrong (or that I borrowed the idea from Homestar Runner)
Well that was quite the wild ride. I was sort of on board until you mentioned the pepperoni… And are you adding actual tiny glass bowls and metal spoons to the candy bar? I’ll be honest, I’m not so sure that you should ever be given the opportunity to create a candy bar. Someone needs to keep an eye on you.
Question: What are your expectations for the upcoming season, personal and for the team as a whole?
Personal expectations: I’m hoping to have a solid first season in the NSFL. After three years in the minors, I’m excited to make an impact on the field, and I think I can do it. I’ve got the team around me to keep people off my back and I’m going to thrive this year with my role in the Chicago offense, which might be sneaky good this year.
Team expectations: Well being worse than last season will be hard, not going to sugar coat it. This team is looking sharp though, we’ve got some sneaky good pieces on offense and defense and we can steal some games this year. For this upcoming season I’m not expecting the world, but I can see us being competitive all year long.
I’m sure you’re going to be a monster this year. We have so many weapons between you, Von Hayes, Sean O’Leary, and everyone else. It’s going to be hard for our opponents to find a way to cover everyone. Having been capped for so long, I’m sure it’s going to feel good for you to finally get to spend some TPE, hahah. I think that we will surprise people this season. Towards the end of the season we may be starting to pick up some steam, I think. We may not be playoff contenders, but I think we can grab some wins this season, as you said. It’s going to be fun to watch, and to be a part of!
Question: Can you give us some information regarding the allegations that have been made against you regarding several missing persons cases?
Answer: I don’t discuss the alleged disappearances without my lawyer present. I know my rights.
Fair enough. I wouldn’t want to get on your bad side by forcing anything out of you.
On that note, I think that we will end the interview, because Tree doesn’t seem to feel like talking anymore. She’s actually giving me quite the look, and I’m starting to get a little intimidated. Can someone walk me to my car, and maybe stay the night with me tonight? Just to be safe. Please? Okay, I hope you guys have enjoyed this interview with Tree Gelbman - Chicago Butchers star tight end! I also hope that you enjoyed yourself here, Tree, at least until the final question. I can’t wait to see how you perform this season, and how well our team does this season! I hope all of you manage to stay safe out there.
Please split this 20% for TheCC/Tyron Shields, and 80% for RenoJacksonHS/Tree Gelbman
Question: I know that leaving a DSFL team that you enjoyed can be hard, so what are some of the things that you'll miss the most about being with the Kansas City Coyotes?
Answer: What I’ll miss the most about Kansas City was the vibes that we had down there. We understood that we were here to have fun and while the Ultimini was the end goal, and one that we never achieved, we enjoyed ourselves while we played and didn’t over stress about it. The management was relaxed and did their best to accommodate all of our requests and were open about decisions that they were making. The clubhouse had some amazing bonding moments with each other and while I miss them dearly, it is nice to finally be in the big time.
I feel the same way about leaving Minnesota, so I completely understand. I made some great friends when I was a member of the Grey Ducks that I won’t soon forget, and I’m sure you feel the same way about Kansas City. The real Ultimini is the friends we made along the way. I’m sure we will make the same kind of connections during our time on the Chicago Butchers, considering how many wonderful personalities we have in that locker room.
Question: Who were your favorite people in that Coyotes locker room?
Answer: Oh man so many to choose from, there wasn’t a single person in that locker room in my three years there that I didn’t like. I’ll just go through a few in no specific order that I loved being around. Starting off is Starclown, I mean Starboy. Starclown was nothing but friendly to me when I first joined up with the league and showed extreme patience with me while I struggled to get accustomed to the league and website. Even during the period of time I missed on activity as I was in the hospital when I finally returned the only thing he said was “We’re glad to have you back.” Matty is another one, the new Kansas City Co-GM and the sassiest punter this side of the Mississippi. He was always down to have fun in the locker room but when it came time to sim he was ready at the drop of a hat to discuss strategies and laugh at the 3-4 being a viable defense. #YeetSquad, my wide receiver brothers from that magical run to the Ultimini Game. Y’all all definitely stole my targets and my stats suffered as a result of it, but you’re all beautiful people and deserve hugs. And the sack bros on the defensive line, Money and Sanchez, who were always down to play a game of RISK and make fun of Starclown’s poor decision making and pointing out that Money had 300 soldiers in Japan, again. I think that’s everyone, yup, can’t think of another person…...just kidding. Butters, my Josh Allen loving brother. You and I had an interesting relationship, talking about how much Josh Allen was going to rule the upcoming season and then you were banning me from the Kansas City locker room 5 minutes later for making a tree pun (I’m sure you a-Tree-ciate that I’m gone now), but I’ll miss ya. I could keep going on but I’m rambling long enough here and the full thank you list would be an entire document itself.
I had the same problem with an interview that I was a part of. With so many fantastic people in the league, it’s hard to just narrow it down to a short list for an interview answer haha. I know some of the Kansas City guys because of Minnesota’s “alliance” or whatever you want to call it. All of the ones in the Grey Ducks locker room seemed really fun and nice (even the strawberry milk drinkers, which I think included Matty), so I’m not surprised that you had such a great experience with them. Who knows, maybe some of your friends will end up with us on the Butchers one of these days.
Question: Why did you choose to sign with the Chicago Butchers? Who else were you considering?
Answer: I signed with the Butchers because I love what Bayley is doing with the team. The team was kinda dead and had an awful reputation surrounding it from what I’ve gathered, but it’s being turned around. What I loved the most was Bayley reached out near immediately after I announced I was hitting free agency in my presser and was talking about how much he wanted me in Chicago. The team is young and will be hitting their stride very soon, and I wanted to be a part of that. When people think of Chicago I want them to think of Tree Gelbman, like how you associate the Kansas City Chiefs with Patrick Mahomes II. I had two other teams reach out to me in free agency: the San Jose Sabercats and the Orange County Otters. Both teams made very convincing offers and it was hard to turn them down, SJS offered me playing time with people I was familiar with and loved being around while OCO offered me an immediate shot at an Ultimus, but I just felt Chicago was the right fit to me.
It makes me feel great about the team I’m on when I keep hearing people who aren’t on the team (or people who just joined the team in your case) talk about how good our leadership is. Bayley has gotten praise from so many people that I’ve talked to. I think he’s just really quick to jump on things, and great at communication (we love you too Muford, don’t worry). I get so excited when I look at the tracker and see how young and active our team is. We have the youngest team in the league, and we had 17 people update in last week’s update, which is crazy. It’s also exciting to me that you chose us, a 1-12 team over more successful teams like San Jose and Orange County. I’m glad that you made the choice that you did, because I’ve enjoyed you in the locker room so far! Even if that axe does make me a bit nervous...
Question: What was your first impression of the Butchers locker room?
Answer: My first impression of the locker room was how laid back it was. I’ve heard stories from other locker rooms that they’re much more uptight and demanding of their players but from what I gathered people there are pretty laid back. The opportunities to earn TPE are announced and you’re tagged in each one but the managers aren’t going to repeatedly press you and remind you to do them. They want to win but they also understand that you need to have fun in this league as well. People there are very friendly and are willing to help with any questions related to the league and I would tell all rookies that come here that you’re being invited to a very fun place to be.
That’s interesting that you’ve heard those stories, since it’s not like that at all (which I know you’ve learned on your own). I wonder if it’s people just passing down stories that were originally from the past leadership. I do enjoy the fact that Muford and Bayley first and foremost want people to be able to have fun and enjoy being in the league first and foremost. I’ve heard them say that before, and I think it’s a really interesting and nice approach to things. They want what’s best for the players, not necessarily what’s best for the team, as long as it doesn’t hamper the team too much. I think we’re under great leadership.
Question: How do you feel about being stuck in the DSFL for your entire rookie contract? Do you have any animosity towards Austin for that decision?
Answer: It had its ups and downs. I only signed a two year deal out of the draft so I knew my initial time with Austin was limited save for an extension. Going down the 1st season after I was drafted made sense, I wasn’t earning a ton of TPE and Austin had Larson up and didn’t exactly need my services. The 2nd season on my rookie deal though came as a bit of a surprise. I had hit the max TPE cap in the previous year so I had an entire season where I wasn’t updating anything and simply just banking. I could tell this was a hard decision for Kortesi but with Larson not being drafted in the expansion draft it threw a monkey wrench in the plans and I had a rather forgettable 3rd year in the DSFL. To answer your second question, I don’t hold any animosity towards Austin in the situation. The first year down after being drafted we both agreed on and I could tell that my second season on the rookie contract was a super reluctant send down. I have no ill-feelings towards that team or the players, they’re a solid group of guys and if the cards fall properly I’d be open to one day returning there and finally play a game in a Copperheads uniform.
It sounds like they didn’t plan on leaving you down there, so I don’t blame you for not being upset about it. It seems like it was just an awkward situation. It could be cool to have a reunion someday with the team that originally drafted, but I’ll admit that I hope we can keep you for quite a while! Maybe you can go on a Kobe Bryant-esque (rest in peace) reunion tour in your last season with Austin, hahah.
Question: You have been given the opportunity to make your own candy bar. Describe it to me.
Answer: A loaded question indeed. Personally, I think you need to stick to start with the name of the candy bar. After all, the best way to advertise your product is to have a catchy name for it. I’m calling my candy bar SBLOUNSKCHED! (which is how you’ll feel after eating one). First you start with the base which I’ll say will be made up of vaporized marshmallows that are then encased in a semi-solid milk chocolate colloid. Next you have to take those colloids and place them in a sea of peanut butter. Roll all of that into a tube made of pretzels and then you cover it in rich, creamy…uh, pepperoni. Then you need some more crunch on your candy bar, so you’ll sprinkle it with whole tiny bowls of Reese’s Puffs cereal including tiny spoons with it. Smother that bad boy in some boring brown chocolate and then slap the SBLOUNSKCHED! logo on the candy bar. Now the shape is important, and while the original plan was to make the candy bar in the shape of a bust of Martin Van Buren, that just proved too ineffective and costly. So we compromised and made the shape into the form of a tree for reasons that no one knows why. And to make sure no one steals the candy bar it comes with a bite taken out of it for security reasons. That’s my dream candy bar and no one can tell me it’s wrong (or that I borrowed the idea from Homestar Runner)
Well that was quite the wild ride. I was sort of on board until you mentioned the pepperoni… And are you adding actual tiny glass bowls and metal spoons to the candy bar? I’ll be honest, I’m not so sure that you should ever be given the opportunity to create a candy bar. Someone needs to keep an eye on you.
Question: What are your expectations for the upcoming season, personal and for the team as a whole?
Personal expectations: I’m hoping to have a solid first season in the NSFL. After three years in the minors, I’m excited to make an impact on the field, and I think I can do it. I’ve got the team around me to keep people off my back and I’m going to thrive this year with my role in the Chicago offense, which might be sneaky good this year.
Team expectations: Well being worse than last season will be hard, not going to sugar coat it. This team is looking sharp though, we’ve got some sneaky good pieces on offense and defense and we can steal some games this year. For this upcoming season I’m not expecting the world, but I can see us being competitive all year long.
I’m sure you’re going to be a monster this year. We have so many weapons between you, Von Hayes, Sean O’Leary, and everyone else. It’s going to be hard for our opponents to find a way to cover everyone. Having been capped for so long, I’m sure it’s going to feel good for you to finally get to spend some TPE, hahah. I think that we will surprise people this season. Towards the end of the season we may be starting to pick up some steam, I think. We may not be playoff contenders, but I think we can grab some wins this season, as you said. It’s going to be fun to watch, and to be a part of!
Question: Can you give us some information regarding the allegations that have been made against you regarding several missing persons cases?
Answer: I don’t discuss the alleged disappearances without my lawyer present. I know my rights.
Fair enough. I wouldn’t want to get on your bad side by forcing anything out of you.
On that note, I think that we will end the interview, because Tree doesn’t seem to feel like talking anymore. She’s actually giving me quite the look, and I’m starting to get a little intimidated. Can someone walk me to my car, and maybe stay the night with me tonight? Just to be safe. Please? Okay, I hope you guys have enjoyed this interview with Tree Gelbman - Chicago Butchers star tight end! I also hope that you enjoyed yourself here, Tree, at least until the final question. I can’t wait to see how you perform this season, and how well our team does this season! I hope all of you manage to stay safe out there.
Please split this 20% for TheCC/Tyron Shields, and 80% for RenoJacksonHS/Tree Gelbman