Hello hello hello! Two interviews from me in one day? Apparently so, as long as I finish writing this one before the end of the night. You guys know I'm on this media week grind. In this interview, we're interviewing one of the funniest guys on the Chicago Butchers, Lim Jahey (tight end Von Hayes). As a fellow S22 draftee of the Butchers, he's become one of the biggest steals in the draft. I'm too lazy to look it up right now, but I believe he was an 8th round pick (maybe 7th, not sure) and has become a big contributor to the Butchers both on and off of the field.
Question: It's been an exciting season of growth in Chicago. Would you say that we are below, meeting, or exceeding expectations this season? What can we do to improve?
Answer: I personally believe that we are still below expectations, but that is by no means an insult or detriment. I have high standards, and while I know that we could be doing better this season, I am ecstatic at the amount of progress our team has made as a whole. The defense is really starting to come out as a top defense in the league, and while the offense has had a slow start to the season, I believe that we will develop well over the next few seasons. Especially with Tirtawidjaja blooming into a fantastic running back, I see no reason why we can't reach the playoffs in the next few seasons.
I understand where you're coming from. The fact that we have so far tripled our win total from last season is a big step forward, but we aren't where we want to be yet. I'm loving the way our defense has been looking (with the exception being a couple of games against the Yellowknife Wraiths and the Sarasota Sailfish…), and it's been exciting watching the young buck Julio Tirtawidjaja do his thing in the back field, fighting for the rushing title.
Question: You and Tree Gelbman make one of the most promising young tight end duos in the NSFL. How is this partnership going for the two of you, in your opinion?
Answer: When we first signed Tree I was a little skeptical and confused as to why, but then as a Pats fan I remembered the incredible 2011 season with Gronkowski and "redacted name". So while I may have had some doubts when Tree first came into the league, they have been nothing but great to work with. They're very active and fit the tight end role very well.
I was confused as well, since we already had you slotted in, but Tree has been an awesome addition, and I think you guys can coexist just fine. Two is better than one, and nobody on the Butchers seems too selfish, so I think it's cool that neither of you have complained too much about production. You guys are an awesome pairing, and I hope Chicago can lock you down for a while.
Question: What do you think about the allegations against Tree?
Answer: Beads of sweat start to seep out of the pores on my face, my pupils shrink and my face goes pale as bad flashbacks and memories of Tree appear in my mind
I think they're bogus, Tree would never use an axe in that sort of manner
I shuffle and hide a deep scar on my right shoulder
Let's move on please.
I look behind me and see a silhouette of someone resembling Tree in a dark corner of the room, brandishing what looks to be an axe
Uhh yeah, I don't agree with them either. That wasn't even my question, I'm not sure how that even made it into my sheet here… Yes yes let's move on.
I look back again and the silhouette is nowhere to be seen. Oh no.
Question: Who is your favorite rookie cornerback on the Chicago Butchers, and why is he so fantastic?
Answer: That really narrows it down doesn't it. Did Oles Jr. play last year? Well I guess I have to answer Tyron Shields. They've been a very solid slot corner, and has been an absolute steal from the S22 draft. They have been nothing short of a pleasure to be around on the field and in the locker room.
Oh man, you didn't have to choose me just because I'm interviewing you or something, but I appreciate it! You're too kind.
Question: What is something that you like to eat or drink that most people would find gross?
Answer: I'll answer with a food and then I'll answer with a beer. Personally, I am a huge fan of Octopus. I absolutely adore eating seafood, and have eaten some forms of seafood and shellfish that others would find gross or weird, like octopus, or eel. I don't understand the stigma around octopus, it is basically a larger form of squid, or calamari. In terms of a drink that I feel like a lot of people steer away from, I am a huge fan of Guinness, and drink both regular and extra stout whenever I have some on hand, it is my go to beer. I don't know where I get my love of it from, but I really do enjoy drinking a heavy stout.
I'm a pretty big beer guy, but I'm not a huge fan of stouts. They aren't bad, but I'll usually choose something else if given the option. Somehow I actually haven't ever tried Guinness, though. I've never been a fish or seafood person, but I've been trying to try more fish recently and it's not too bad. However, I definitely don't think I'd enjoy octopus or squid. I imagine it's super chewy or rubbery, but I don't know if I'll ever try it. I think part of the stigma is probably because they're intelligent. I think it's kind of like eating dolphin, but to each their own!
Question: What is the best thing you've ever received for Christmas or your birthday? Why was it so special?
Answer: When I was coming into high school I was really avoiding school work and started becoming a bit of a rebel, skipping classes and other nonsense like that. For Christmas that year, my uncle bought me a book that completely changed my life. The name of the book was called "Rules for a Knight", and reading it really changed a lot of my negative attitudes. I still keep it in the dresser next to my bed, and will occasionally read it when I feel like I need to look for some advice, or read it for comfort.
What a great answer. That's really cool that it's stuck with you for all these years. I'm not a big reader, but I might have to add that to my list of things I want to try reading.
Question: What is the best pet you've ever had? (If you've never had one for some reason, what is your ideal pet?)
Answer: I really do not know how to answer this first question, I've only had 2 pets in my life, both cats, and for the most part they were both boring before passing away, but I am not a dog person, so I really do not know how to describe what my perfect pet would be, maybe a cat that doesn't sleep for half the day.
Oh man, not a dog person. What is wrong with you? My dog is my best friend. Actually, you know what? You give me big lizard energy. I think maybe you’d be a bearded dragon person. That would be an awesome pet.
Question: How many golf balls do you think could fit in the room that you're currently in? Give your best estimate. How did you come up with this number?
Answer: I believe that if I really put in the money and effort, I could fill my bedroom with around 23,328 golf balls. I came up with this number by taking my room dimensions, multiplying them, then converting them to inches. Then I grabbed a golf ball and gave it a rough measurement, then divided the number I had with the diameter of a golf ball, which got me to the final answer of 23,328. If I were to buy all the golf balls it would cost me around $20,000 USD, taking in the average price of a dozen golf balls.
That’s a hell of an answer. I was asked this question in a job interview, and I had a similar answer. The one thing that I did differently is that I treated the ball like a cube. So I used the diameter for length x width x height, then did the rest like you. There’s almost definitely a formula for finding the number of spheres in an area, but I don’t know it, so whatever. I got the job, so apparently I was close enough hahah.
Question: What's your favorite NSFL moment?
Answer: It’s hard to say I really have a favorite moment in the NSFL right now, my first year was on one of the worst teams in NSFL history as a rookie, and while I am happy that we are doing so much better in our second season, I feel like I've been falling short of what my potential is. So to choose my favorite moment, it would probably have to be when we were playing Philly earlier in the year, and as they were driving down the field to try and put the game away, Hamish MacAndrew intercepted Brock Phoenix and brought the ball into our territory to help set up our kicker Sam Sidekick for a game winning field goal.
I remember that one. That was the best game of the season, in my opinion. It feels weird getting so hyped up watching dots play football on a screen, but I was getting excited damn it. Good answer man.
This has been a fun interview, except for, uh, nevermind. Nevermind. Don't worry about it. Just be cool. Be cool. It's been fun. Hopefully we get a chance to do this again sometime in the future. Thank you for doing this with me man. Take care.
Please split 50/50 between me and Lim Jahey.
Question: It's been an exciting season of growth in Chicago. Would you say that we are below, meeting, or exceeding expectations this season? What can we do to improve?
Answer: I personally believe that we are still below expectations, but that is by no means an insult or detriment. I have high standards, and while I know that we could be doing better this season, I am ecstatic at the amount of progress our team has made as a whole. The defense is really starting to come out as a top defense in the league, and while the offense has had a slow start to the season, I believe that we will develop well over the next few seasons. Especially with Tirtawidjaja blooming into a fantastic running back, I see no reason why we can't reach the playoffs in the next few seasons.
I understand where you're coming from. The fact that we have so far tripled our win total from last season is a big step forward, but we aren't where we want to be yet. I'm loving the way our defense has been looking (with the exception being a couple of games against the Yellowknife Wraiths and the Sarasota Sailfish…), and it's been exciting watching the young buck Julio Tirtawidjaja do his thing in the back field, fighting for the rushing title.
Question: You and Tree Gelbman make one of the most promising young tight end duos in the NSFL. How is this partnership going for the two of you, in your opinion?
Answer: When we first signed Tree I was a little skeptical and confused as to why, but then as a Pats fan I remembered the incredible 2011 season with Gronkowski and "redacted name". So while I may have had some doubts when Tree first came into the league, they have been nothing but great to work with. They're very active and fit the tight end role very well.
I was confused as well, since we already had you slotted in, but Tree has been an awesome addition, and I think you guys can coexist just fine. Two is better than one, and nobody on the Butchers seems too selfish, so I think it's cool that neither of you have complained too much about production. You guys are an awesome pairing, and I hope Chicago can lock you down for a while.
Question: What do you think about the allegations against Tree?
Answer: Beads of sweat start to seep out of the pores on my face, my pupils shrink and my face goes pale as bad flashbacks and memories of Tree appear in my mind
I think they're bogus, Tree would never use an axe in that sort of manner
I shuffle and hide a deep scar on my right shoulder
Let's move on please.
I look behind me and see a silhouette of someone resembling Tree in a dark corner of the room, brandishing what looks to be an axe
Uhh yeah, I don't agree with them either. That wasn't even my question, I'm not sure how that even made it into my sheet here… Yes yes let's move on.
I look back again and the silhouette is nowhere to be seen. Oh no.
Question: Who is your favorite rookie cornerback on the Chicago Butchers, and why is he so fantastic?
Answer: That really narrows it down doesn't it. Did Oles Jr. play last year? Well I guess I have to answer Tyron Shields. They've been a very solid slot corner, and has been an absolute steal from the S22 draft. They have been nothing short of a pleasure to be around on the field and in the locker room.
Oh man, you didn't have to choose me just because I'm interviewing you or something, but I appreciate it! You're too kind.
Question: What is something that you like to eat or drink that most people would find gross?
Answer: I'll answer with a food and then I'll answer with a beer. Personally, I am a huge fan of Octopus. I absolutely adore eating seafood, and have eaten some forms of seafood and shellfish that others would find gross or weird, like octopus, or eel. I don't understand the stigma around octopus, it is basically a larger form of squid, or calamari. In terms of a drink that I feel like a lot of people steer away from, I am a huge fan of Guinness, and drink both regular and extra stout whenever I have some on hand, it is my go to beer. I don't know where I get my love of it from, but I really do enjoy drinking a heavy stout.
I'm a pretty big beer guy, but I'm not a huge fan of stouts. They aren't bad, but I'll usually choose something else if given the option. Somehow I actually haven't ever tried Guinness, though. I've never been a fish or seafood person, but I've been trying to try more fish recently and it's not too bad. However, I definitely don't think I'd enjoy octopus or squid. I imagine it's super chewy or rubbery, but I don't know if I'll ever try it. I think part of the stigma is probably because they're intelligent. I think it's kind of like eating dolphin, but to each their own!
Question: What is the best thing you've ever received for Christmas or your birthday? Why was it so special?
Answer: When I was coming into high school I was really avoiding school work and started becoming a bit of a rebel, skipping classes and other nonsense like that. For Christmas that year, my uncle bought me a book that completely changed my life. The name of the book was called "Rules for a Knight", and reading it really changed a lot of my negative attitudes. I still keep it in the dresser next to my bed, and will occasionally read it when I feel like I need to look for some advice, or read it for comfort.
What a great answer. That's really cool that it's stuck with you for all these years. I'm not a big reader, but I might have to add that to my list of things I want to try reading.
Question: What is the best pet you've ever had? (If you've never had one for some reason, what is your ideal pet?)
Answer: I really do not know how to answer this first question, I've only had 2 pets in my life, both cats, and for the most part they were both boring before passing away, but I am not a dog person, so I really do not know how to describe what my perfect pet would be, maybe a cat that doesn't sleep for half the day.
Oh man, not a dog person. What is wrong with you? My dog is my best friend. Actually, you know what? You give me big lizard energy. I think maybe you’d be a bearded dragon person. That would be an awesome pet.
Question: How many golf balls do you think could fit in the room that you're currently in? Give your best estimate. How did you come up with this number?
Answer: I believe that if I really put in the money and effort, I could fill my bedroom with around 23,328 golf balls. I came up with this number by taking my room dimensions, multiplying them, then converting them to inches. Then I grabbed a golf ball and gave it a rough measurement, then divided the number I had with the diameter of a golf ball, which got me to the final answer of 23,328. If I were to buy all the golf balls it would cost me around $20,000 USD, taking in the average price of a dozen golf balls.
That’s a hell of an answer. I was asked this question in a job interview, and I had a similar answer. The one thing that I did differently is that I treated the ball like a cube. So I used the diameter for length x width x height, then did the rest like you. There’s almost definitely a formula for finding the number of spheres in an area, but I don’t know it, so whatever. I got the job, so apparently I was close enough hahah.
Question: What's your favorite NSFL moment?
Answer: It’s hard to say I really have a favorite moment in the NSFL right now, my first year was on one of the worst teams in NSFL history as a rookie, and while I am happy that we are doing so much better in our second season, I feel like I've been falling short of what my potential is. So to choose my favorite moment, it would probably have to be when we were playing Philly earlier in the year, and as they were driving down the field to try and put the game away, Hamish MacAndrew intercepted Brock Phoenix and brought the ball into our territory to help set up our kicker Sam Sidekick for a game winning field goal.
I remember that one. That was the best game of the season, in my opinion. It feels weird getting so hyped up watching dots play football on a screen, but I was getting excited damn it. Good answer man.
This has been a fun interview, except for, uh, nevermind. Nevermind. Don't worry about it. Just be cool. Be cool. It's been fun. Hopefully we get a chance to do this again sometime in the future. Thank you for doing this with me man. Take care.
Please split 50/50 between me and Lim Jahey.