07-23-2020, 09:36 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-23-2020, 09:38 PM by Richard_Hooklip.)
An excerpt from current prospect Clay Clark's final game of his redshirt junior year, the College Football Playoffs, Florida State Seminoles versus the Miami Hurricanes. Clark's performance in this game, along with that of most of the rest of his team, is somewhat infamous given its particularly unwatchable nature...
Rob Bobson: ... and the extra point is good, widening the gap just a little further. Not that it matters too much, I mean, down over a hundred, you have to think, Florida State probably can't even play for pride at this point, right?
Rashean Mathis: I agree Rob, at this point they've just got to play to be starters after this season, this is just pitiful. I mean, you're an undefeated team, you blow out good team after good team on the way here, you make it to the first round of the playoffs, and you do this? They had the best defense in the country, they were giving up seventeen points a game! Their corners came down with a combined twenty-six interceptions! Clay Clark out there, he got nine picks this year, didn't allow a touchdown until week eleven, and what's going on out there today? He's getting toasted! He's allowed three touchdowns just today. What a pitiful performance, man. Just awful. Anyway, let's see what the offense has in store.
Rob Bobson: You think it's another fumble?
Rashean Mathis: Nah, I'm thinking a pick this time around. I mean, they just pulled their starting quarterback, Matt Simmons, they're sending out a freshman backup in Dave Hartley, I just think this isn't going to go too well for him.
Rob Bobson: Well, here goes first down now, looks like Hartley is dropping back to pass... immediate pressure in his face... sidesteps the rush... fires over the middle and INTERCEPTED AT THE FLORIDA STATE 35! HE'S GOT DAYLIGHT! RIGHT INTO THE END ZONE! TOUCHDOWN MIAMI!
Rashean Mathis: Man, what's that make it now? 112 to nothing?
Rob Bobson: Well, 111 right now, but assuming the extra point is good, then yeah. Man, this is really ugly. Honestly, the refs should just call it here. I'm tired, they're probably tired, the players are definitely, I mean, no doubt Florida State is tired. Anyway, we'll step away for a minute for a commercial break, and catch you all again after the kickoff...
Rob Bobson: Well, welcome back everyone, we'd just like to remind you this broadcast of the College Football Playoffs is sponsored by Grubhub. Rashean, you ever used that service before?
Rashean Mathis: Nah Rob, I don't use it too much, I live right by a Panda Express, but I gotta say, a lot of these players might be driving for them pretty soon if they keep playing like this- they definitely won't be on a team if Florida State keeps this up.
Rob Bobson: *snickers* Well, I gotta say, this game got ugly real quick and it hasn't really gotten any better. For our viewers out there, you might notice that Miami has the ball, despite Florida State receiving the kickoff. Well, Florida State return man Kevin James caught the kickoff, and immediately fumbled it while running forward, completely untouched. Miami recovered, and now they have the ball within Florida State's 40. Let's see what they can do with it.
Rashean Mathis: Wouldn't it be real funny if the Noles just started playing phenomenal right now? Twelve minutes left in the game?
Rob Bobson: I think it might be more sad than anything. Let's see what happens here. The ball's handed off to Suitcase Carwash... oh, it's a flea flicker, he tosses it back to Aarseth! Aarseth throws to Saunders, he's covered, it's PICKED BY CLAY CLAR- wait, he bobbles it, and it's GRABBED BY SAUNDERS, HE GETS PAST CLARK, TO THE TWENTY, THE TEN, TOUCHDOWN HURRICANES!
Rashean Mathis: My God, it just keeps getting worse...
*SOME TIME LATER*
Rob Bobson: ...and that concludes one of the ugliest games I've ever seen. Florida State zip, Miami one hundred and forty seven. Congrats to the Canes, I bet they feel pretty satisfied, and as for the Noles... well, best of luck in your future endeavors. Hope your grades are pretty good, because I don't think football is in your futures. Seriously, how do you turn the ball over on every single possession?
Rashean Mathis: That I have no clue about, but man, I really expected to see a whole lot more than that out of Clay Clark today. He's been growing all year, he's been dominant, and to give up four touchdowns in one game like that? I mean, sure, it was at least vaguely better than the rest of the secondary, but that was still just awful. That can't be good for him going forward. I imagine he'll never live this one down- and he really shouldn't.
Rob Bobson: ... and the extra point is good, widening the gap just a little further. Not that it matters too much, I mean, down over a hundred, you have to think, Florida State probably can't even play for pride at this point, right?
Rashean Mathis: I agree Rob, at this point they've just got to play to be starters after this season, this is just pitiful. I mean, you're an undefeated team, you blow out good team after good team on the way here, you make it to the first round of the playoffs, and you do this? They had the best defense in the country, they were giving up seventeen points a game! Their corners came down with a combined twenty-six interceptions! Clay Clark out there, he got nine picks this year, didn't allow a touchdown until week eleven, and what's going on out there today? He's getting toasted! He's allowed three touchdowns just today. What a pitiful performance, man. Just awful. Anyway, let's see what the offense has in store.
Rob Bobson: You think it's another fumble?
Rashean Mathis: Nah, I'm thinking a pick this time around. I mean, they just pulled their starting quarterback, Matt Simmons, they're sending out a freshman backup in Dave Hartley, I just think this isn't going to go too well for him.
Rob Bobson: Well, here goes first down now, looks like Hartley is dropping back to pass... immediate pressure in his face... sidesteps the rush... fires over the middle and INTERCEPTED AT THE FLORIDA STATE 35! HE'S GOT DAYLIGHT! RIGHT INTO THE END ZONE! TOUCHDOWN MIAMI!
Rashean Mathis: Man, what's that make it now? 112 to nothing?
Rob Bobson: Well, 111 right now, but assuming the extra point is good, then yeah. Man, this is really ugly. Honestly, the refs should just call it here. I'm tired, they're probably tired, the players are definitely, I mean, no doubt Florida State is tired. Anyway, we'll step away for a minute for a commercial break, and catch you all again after the kickoff...
Rob Bobson: Well, welcome back everyone, we'd just like to remind you this broadcast of the College Football Playoffs is sponsored by Grubhub. Rashean, you ever used that service before?
Rashean Mathis: Nah Rob, I don't use it too much, I live right by a Panda Express, but I gotta say, a lot of these players might be driving for them pretty soon if they keep playing like this- they definitely won't be on a team if Florida State keeps this up.
Rob Bobson: *snickers* Well, I gotta say, this game got ugly real quick and it hasn't really gotten any better. For our viewers out there, you might notice that Miami has the ball, despite Florida State receiving the kickoff. Well, Florida State return man Kevin James caught the kickoff, and immediately fumbled it while running forward, completely untouched. Miami recovered, and now they have the ball within Florida State's 40. Let's see what they can do with it.
Rashean Mathis: Wouldn't it be real funny if the Noles just started playing phenomenal right now? Twelve minutes left in the game?
Rob Bobson: I think it might be more sad than anything. Let's see what happens here. The ball's handed off to Suitcase Carwash... oh, it's a flea flicker, he tosses it back to Aarseth! Aarseth throws to Saunders, he's covered, it's PICKED BY CLAY CLAR- wait, he bobbles it, and it's GRABBED BY SAUNDERS, HE GETS PAST CLARK, TO THE TWENTY, THE TEN, TOUCHDOWN HURRICANES!
Rashean Mathis: My God, it just keeps getting worse...
*SOME TIME LATER*
Rob Bobson: ...and that concludes one of the ugliest games I've ever seen. Florida State zip, Miami one hundred and forty seven. Congrats to the Canes, I bet they feel pretty satisfied, and as for the Noles... well, best of luck in your future endeavors. Hope your grades are pretty good, because I don't think football is in your futures. Seriously, how do you turn the ball over on every single possession?
Rashean Mathis: That I have no clue about, but man, I really expected to see a whole lot more than that out of Clay Clark today. He's been growing all year, he's been dominant, and to give up four touchdowns in one game like that? I mean, sure, it was at least vaguely better than the rest of the secondary, but that was still just awful. That can't be good for him going forward. I imagine he'll never live this one down- and he really shouldn't.