Journalists preface: When @TheMemeMaestro did this, it inspired me to do it for my own team.
Today, Simulated Sports Illustrated will interview members of the Orange County Otters
, the best team in the West by talent, if not by record. We start with Marc Spector, Cornerback for the Otters.
SSI: Marc, thank you for sitting down with me today! First question: How has the transition from New York, to Rice university in Houston, to Orange County affected your play?
MS: The travelling? It really hasn't. I started my career as a receiver but it wasn't until college I converted to a CB. Best thing I ever did. I feel I've grown as a player the whole way, but the facilities here in Orange County are far better than anywhere I've ever played. Because of that, I can train harder and really feel myself improving at my position.
SSI: Now, you have played 4 games with no interception yet, how do you plan on bringing up your skill in that section of the game?
MS: Of course. The QBs in this league are miles better than the college kids I played in the NCAA. They threw more ducks than Josh Bercovici... Actually... maybe not him. I'm still getting adjusted to the speed of the game up here. I think once I get fully adjusted then the picks will start coming in.
SSI: We'll all hope so, as well! Now, you are referred to as an "Enigma". Care to explain why that is?
MS: I wouldn't be an enigma if I fully explained that, would I? Basically, my personal life is not something I delve into and I have a peculiar way I do things, which many find strange.
SSI: Alright, I think we can all respect that chuckles. What is your opinion on recent moves and claims made by the Otters GMs?
MS: I can't say I disagree with a single move they've made. Bringing in two DTs to help get more pressure on the QB and stuff the run is always a solid investment. Unfortunately Devitt is retiring at the end of the season to be with family. Sandoval is a bit raw but he's been in the weight room a lot, it's only a matter of time before he's in there dropping guys. And the new WR, Willie has been a great asset, proving himself as such his first game, getting a TD for us. He's also a great locker room guy, which goes a long way.
SSI: Speaking of great locker room guys, it has been said you and the two new guys fancy yourselves as Snail Racers in the locker room, can you speak to that?
MS: Snail Racing is an underground sport that thousands gather in old warehouses to bet fortunes on. I had seen one off of Avenue H in Brooklyn late one night, and it had always intrigued me. Why I was there at that time of night I will not say. When I came to Orange County, it was a shock to see a Snail Den in one of the back rooms of the training facility where the old hot baths were. I watched a few races and decided I'd give it a shot. I have a guy over in Yorba Linda who could hook me up with an unregistered racing snail on the down low. How I have a guy in Yorba Linda is not a question one should ask. I came back with Rhaegal and began lighting it up. Early on one other racer proclaimed I had been juicing my snail, which any competent shelljockey worth his non-toxic salt knows is impossible. Mine is just of fine pedigree and his training regimen is Gregor Clegane worthy.
SSI: You've been a great sport so I'll just go with one more question: Obviously, being a rookie, you aren't too far removed from the draft life, so out of all of the S3 prospects in the books right now, who would you say are the top 2 or 3 to look out for?
MS: Honestly, I do so much of my own prep for games and training, looking at S3 rookies is a GM's job. I only know the 2 we got here in Orange County and they're good and keep getting better. Who is over in San Jose or over in Arizona isn't my concern until I line up against them. Once our offseason hits, I might start caring more. But for me, my goal is to help us win games now.
SSI: We admire your dedication and can't wait to see you lifting up that Ultimus this year. Thank you for giving us your time!
MS: No problem. I gotta go feed Rhaegal now, it's spinach for him until the full moon, then he's switching to Horseradish stalks.
Next, we interviewed the running back, Leroy Jenkins.
SSI: Leroy, thank you for taking the time out of your workout to be with us today!
LJ: Well, the difference between Chicago and Eugene isn't that much weather-wise. Still the same seasons, just more trees and less buildings I guess. Orange County was the bigger shock. It doesn't really get cold around here. Yes, sometimes there's a bit of frost on the sidewalk, but that's it. One thing I kinda miss is rain. Seriously, it doesn't rain that much in SoCal, but I absolutely love the rain. I thought it was the most beautiful thing about the Northwest. Population center-wise, of course it's a big move to go from growing up in a major city to now being out in what aounts to a beach town. It's quieter, but maybe I don't like the quiet. I've settled in pretty well, but that first season was a bit rough.
SSI: Well, you have been compared to the likes of greats from the folded NFL league, Adrian Peterson and Jay Ajayi, what is that like for you?
LJ: It's nice to be compared, but I really look to old school players. Jim Thorpe is the one guy that instantly comes to mind for me. That guy could do it all. He was an Olympic athlete and played on the team that did so well they actually had to rewrite the rules of football because of them. Then there's early NFL guys, Bronko Nagurski and Paul Hourning. I could go on, but really I feel like my style matches those legends. While AP and Ajayi were fine players, they weren't the players I really looked up to as who I aspired to be.
SSI: You speak highly of these old players, do you have any plans of wearing a vintage neck roll or that sort of thing?
LJ: Nah, I try to keep my equipment accesories to a minimum.
Big pads and a visor.
SSI: Ah, just the basics for such an advanced running back. Who would you say is the best locker room guy?
LJ: If you ask anyone else, they'd probably say me; but I think Phelpsy and Westy really keep the team going. Maybe it's because they've been our best players, but I think they're great to have around.
SSI: Well we'll wrap up here, we have to get around to Jiggly, the GM, but one more. What is your hope for yourself over the next 5 years?
LJ: To grow and bring my team a championship.
Now we move on to the GMs.
SSI: Alright, Jiggly, thank you for taking time away from your paperwork to let us interview you.
JJ: Hi!
SSI: How have recent transactions affected the course of this team?
JJ: I think we're still moving in a positive direction. We lost a couple of key players to expansion, lost another few to the other draft; but we feel like we still have that core of great players. Obviously, our move to trade Omar Wright and sign Vic Bowers doesn't appear to be in our favor anymore, but maybe this just shows it's time to put a little more trust in Leroy or even our passing game. All around I think we've improved.
SSI: What do you have to say about the Rookies and S3 core on your team?
JJ: I think that we got a great haul out of the S2 Prospect draft. Many people have criticized our decision to pass on our last couple rounds, but we felt we had already built up our team so much that we didn't really have room for them. Wit our S3 players, we're just looking for some extra build up to develop and possibly replace some players that we feel might not work with our system anymore.
SSI: What is your take on the intense snail racing match-ups that Leroy, Marc, Ricardo, Trey, and Adanle have in the locker rooms?
JJ: As long as it's all legal and no one's getting hurt, I feel like it's great for players bonding.
SSI: This Otters team has one of the best disciplinary records in the NSFL. Why do you think this is?
JJ: JJ and Leroy keep them in line.
We then moved on to SEASON 1 MOST VALUABLE PLAYER, ANGUS WINCHESTER.
SSI: Angus, thank you for taking the time to sit down with me today!
AW: No problem
SSI: Now, you were the Season 1 MVP. How does it feel coming into a new season off of a season like that?
AW: It's been a disappointing start this season. I'm not playing even close to the level I was last season, which is frustrating. I think it's going to take a lot of mental fortitude to block out the struggles of the first four games in order to get back to where I was last year.
SSI: Well, taking your mind away from that, it has been said that an Otters locker room favorite game is Snail Racing. Can you speak to that at all?
AW: Let's just say a few guys have lost a season's salary on a bad gastropod wager
SSI: What is your training regimen and diet to keep such a strength up to par?
AW: I focus my work on heavy compound barbell lifts. I like to do the deadlift, squat, bench, press, power clean, power snatch, and lifts like that. Early in the morning I go for my really heavy work while in the afternoon I focus the explosive lifts. Diet is probably the hardest part of it all. During training and bulking I'm eating a good 12,000 or more calories a day. Trying to get enough food and protein with a NSFL training regiment requires a lot of discipline to not skip meals.
SSI: How do you feel about recent moves made by your teams management?
AW: I try not to think about things I can't control. I work on improving myself as much as I can and I trust the Otters front office and leadership to do the right thing to keep us competitive. I have complete confidence in our GMs.
SSI: One more question: MVP or Ultimus win? Why?
AW: Ultimus win is easily the most important. I didn't come to professional football to win awards. Offensive linemen shouldn't win MVP anyway. I'm here to win championships and to drop Jayce Tuck on his ass.
SSI: We appreciate your time.
AW: Rock and roll.
This was a great experience for this reporter, and I can't wait to do it again...
(1852 words, ready to be graded)
Graded
Today, Simulated Sports Illustrated will interview members of the Orange County Otters
, the best team in the West by talent, if not by record. We start with Marc Spector, Cornerback for the Otters.SSI: Marc, thank you for sitting down with me today! First question: How has the transition from New York, to Rice university in Houston, to Orange County affected your play?
MS: The travelling? It really hasn't. I started my career as a receiver but it wasn't until college I converted to a CB. Best thing I ever did. I feel I've grown as a player the whole way, but the facilities here in Orange County are far better than anywhere I've ever played. Because of that, I can train harder and really feel myself improving at my position.
SSI: Now, you have played 4 games with no interception yet, how do you plan on bringing up your skill in that section of the game?
MS: Of course. The QBs in this league are miles better than the college kids I played in the NCAA. They threw more ducks than Josh Bercovici... Actually... maybe not him. I'm still getting adjusted to the speed of the game up here. I think once I get fully adjusted then the picks will start coming in.
SSI: We'll all hope so, as well! Now, you are referred to as an "Enigma". Care to explain why that is?
MS: I wouldn't be an enigma if I fully explained that, would I? Basically, my personal life is not something I delve into and I have a peculiar way I do things, which many find strange.
SSI: Alright, I think we can all respect that chuckles. What is your opinion on recent moves and claims made by the Otters GMs?
MS: I can't say I disagree with a single move they've made. Bringing in two DTs to help get more pressure on the QB and stuff the run is always a solid investment. Unfortunately Devitt is retiring at the end of the season to be with family. Sandoval is a bit raw but he's been in the weight room a lot, it's only a matter of time before he's in there dropping guys. And the new WR, Willie has been a great asset, proving himself as such his first game, getting a TD for us. He's also a great locker room guy, which goes a long way.
SSI: Speaking of great locker room guys, it has been said you and the two new guys fancy yourselves as Snail Racers in the locker room, can you speak to that?
MS: Snail Racing is an underground sport that thousands gather in old warehouses to bet fortunes on. I had seen one off of Avenue H in Brooklyn late one night, and it had always intrigued me. Why I was there at that time of night I will not say. When I came to Orange County, it was a shock to see a Snail Den in one of the back rooms of the training facility where the old hot baths were. I watched a few races and decided I'd give it a shot. I have a guy over in Yorba Linda who could hook me up with an unregistered racing snail on the down low. How I have a guy in Yorba Linda is not a question one should ask. I came back with Rhaegal and began lighting it up. Early on one other racer proclaimed I had been juicing my snail, which any competent shelljockey worth his non-toxic salt knows is impossible. Mine is just of fine pedigree and his training regimen is Gregor Clegane worthy.
SSI: You've been a great sport so I'll just go with one more question: Obviously, being a rookie, you aren't too far removed from the draft life, so out of all of the S3 prospects in the books right now, who would you say are the top 2 or 3 to look out for?
MS: Honestly, I do so much of my own prep for games and training, looking at S3 rookies is a GM's job. I only know the 2 we got here in Orange County and they're good and keep getting better. Who is over in San Jose or over in Arizona isn't my concern until I line up against them. Once our offseason hits, I might start caring more. But for me, my goal is to help us win games now.
SSI: We admire your dedication and can't wait to see you lifting up that Ultimus this year. Thank you for giving us your time!
MS: No problem. I gotta go feed Rhaegal now, it's spinach for him until the full moon, then he's switching to Horseradish stalks.
Next, we interviewed the running back, Leroy Jenkins.
SSI: Leroy, thank you for taking the time out of your workout to be with us today!
LJ: Well, the difference between Chicago and Eugene isn't that much weather-wise. Still the same seasons, just more trees and less buildings I guess. Orange County was the bigger shock. It doesn't really get cold around here. Yes, sometimes there's a bit of frost on the sidewalk, but that's it. One thing I kinda miss is rain. Seriously, it doesn't rain that much in SoCal, but I absolutely love the rain. I thought it was the most beautiful thing about the Northwest. Population center-wise, of course it's a big move to go from growing up in a major city to now being out in what aounts to a beach town. It's quieter, but maybe I don't like the quiet. I've settled in pretty well, but that first season was a bit rough.
SSI: Well, you have been compared to the likes of greats from the folded NFL league, Adrian Peterson and Jay Ajayi, what is that like for you?
LJ: It's nice to be compared, but I really look to old school players. Jim Thorpe is the one guy that instantly comes to mind for me. That guy could do it all. He was an Olympic athlete and played on the team that did so well they actually had to rewrite the rules of football because of them. Then there's early NFL guys, Bronko Nagurski and Paul Hourning. I could go on, but really I feel like my style matches those legends. While AP and Ajayi were fine players, they weren't the players I really looked up to as who I aspired to be.
SSI: You speak highly of these old players, do you have any plans of wearing a vintage neck roll or that sort of thing?
LJ: Nah, I try to keep my equipment accesories to a minimum.
Big pads and a visor.
SSI: Ah, just the basics for such an advanced running back. Who would you say is the best locker room guy?
LJ: If you ask anyone else, they'd probably say me; but I think Phelpsy and Westy really keep the team going. Maybe it's because they've been our best players, but I think they're great to have around.
SSI: Well we'll wrap up here, we have to get around to Jiggly, the GM, but one more. What is your hope for yourself over the next 5 years?
LJ: To grow and bring my team a championship.
Now we move on to the GMs.
SSI: Alright, Jiggly, thank you for taking time away from your paperwork to let us interview you.
JJ: Hi!
SSI: How have recent transactions affected the course of this team?
JJ: I think we're still moving in a positive direction. We lost a couple of key players to expansion, lost another few to the other draft; but we feel like we still have that core of great players. Obviously, our move to trade Omar Wright and sign Vic Bowers doesn't appear to be in our favor anymore, but maybe this just shows it's time to put a little more trust in Leroy or even our passing game. All around I think we've improved.
SSI: What do you have to say about the Rookies and S3 core on your team?
JJ: I think that we got a great haul out of the S2 Prospect draft. Many people have criticized our decision to pass on our last couple rounds, but we felt we had already built up our team so much that we didn't really have room for them. Wit our S3 players, we're just looking for some extra build up to develop and possibly replace some players that we feel might not work with our system anymore.
SSI: What is your take on the intense snail racing match-ups that Leroy, Marc, Ricardo, Trey, and Adanle have in the locker rooms?
JJ: As long as it's all legal and no one's getting hurt, I feel like it's great for players bonding.
SSI: This Otters team has one of the best disciplinary records in the NSFL. Why do you think this is?
JJ: JJ and Leroy keep them in line.
We then moved on to SEASON 1 MOST VALUABLE PLAYER, ANGUS WINCHESTER.
SSI: Angus, thank you for taking the time to sit down with me today!
AW: No problem
SSI: Now, you were the Season 1 MVP. How does it feel coming into a new season off of a season like that?
AW: It's been a disappointing start this season. I'm not playing even close to the level I was last season, which is frustrating. I think it's going to take a lot of mental fortitude to block out the struggles of the first four games in order to get back to where I was last year.
SSI: Well, taking your mind away from that, it has been said that an Otters locker room favorite game is Snail Racing. Can you speak to that at all?
AW: Let's just say a few guys have lost a season's salary on a bad gastropod wager
SSI: What is your training regimen and diet to keep such a strength up to par?
AW: I focus my work on heavy compound barbell lifts. I like to do the deadlift, squat, bench, press, power clean, power snatch, and lifts like that. Early in the morning I go for my really heavy work while in the afternoon I focus the explosive lifts. Diet is probably the hardest part of it all. During training and bulking I'm eating a good 12,000 or more calories a day. Trying to get enough food and protein with a NSFL training regiment requires a lot of discipline to not skip meals.
SSI: How do you feel about recent moves made by your teams management?
AW: I try not to think about things I can't control. I work on improving myself as much as I can and I trust the Otters front office and leadership to do the right thing to keep us competitive. I have complete confidence in our GMs.
SSI: One more question: MVP or Ultimus win? Why?
AW: Ultimus win is easily the most important. I didn't come to professional football to win awards. Offensive linemen shouldn't win MVP anyway. I'm here to win championships and to drop Jayce Tuck on his ass.
SSI: We appreciate your time.
AW: Rock and roll.
This was a great experience for this reporter, and I can't wait to do it again...
(1852 words, ready to be graded)
Graded
[center][img src="https://i.imgur.com/8TovWce.png "width="450"]
[div align=center][SELECT style="background-color:Red; color:black; font-family:Times; font-size: 15px; width: 260px; "][br][OPTION]|| Chase Osborn || RB || S17 Draftee ||
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[div align=center][SELECT style="background-color:Red; color:black; font-family:Times; font-size: 15px; width: 260px; "][br][OPTION]|| Chase Osborn || RB || S17 Draftee ||
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![[Image: jorel.gif]](https://s2.gifyu.com/images/jorel.gif)
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