*Bill Cravy Presser

[KlausGoatCasinos]

Closed for Questions, please grade!

9:00 AM, Bill Cravy steps up to the podium.

"Thank you all for coming, I'm very excited for my first press conference of my yet brief time in the DSFL. I've been proud of my production thus far in the first few weeks and am looking forward to continuing under the leadership of our manager, and of course our defensive captain Billy. I am happy to take any questions you have at this time, and including any about the range of products under the Cravy line such as our new beef lasagna, that you may have."

Question 1: "Any teammates that have been especially helpful to you in Minnesota so far?" @jollyjiggs

"Absolutely, the Grey Ducks have been extremely welcoming from the front office to my teammates. Gotta shout out our defensive captain Billy Jor-el @LtHudz, as a fellow rookie in the DSFL league he's been a real leader in the locker room and both on and off the field. He's been a team leader and just look at his performance so far. Week 3 especially. Us Bills gotta stick together." Bill added with a smile. "Gotta give extra shout-outs to Florida Man @nickyvmlp, what a presence he's been for this team. And props to the front office for picking up King Dedede @ScrambledEggs off waivers, who's been a great presence on the defensive side as well. Too many more to name. I also have to give a shout-out of course to my manager, Chris."

Question 2: What are the top 3 foods that have gravy @"Mattyoce971"

"This is not an easy one, though I can tell you all that beef lasagna with a nice, thick gravy over the top is something the people of America are missing out on. Nothing like it in this world. I'll throw in Meatloaf at number two, and then straight up gravy. Drink it down like they do bovril over near the London Royals' stadium."


Question 3: Do any of the Cravy products have gravy?

"I've partnered with Definitely Milk, my new sponsor. They have provided me with a recipe for a milk-based beef gravy, full of vitamin d, e, and f. Before long there will be gravy on all of our products and merch. For now, I invite you all to sample from our Cravy stand on the way out of this press conference."

Question 4: are there any special pre game meals you eat?

"The most important meal of the day has to be a big cup of bad coffee, and that's important, it has to be bad coffee. That bitter, watery, pale grey goodness that can only be found in the old run-down coffee machine purchased at a yard sale. And of course, I gotta have my corn. Corn on the cob which I've been purchasing in bulk since moving to Minnesota."

Question 5: If you had a pet duck, what would you name it and would you feed it anything from your line of Cravy products?


"Since my time with the Grey Ducks began, I've started to feed corn to the local ducks of Minnesota, spending time on the weekends with bags of cracked corn and throwing it around ponds and lakes. We don't sell corn yet, but I want to eventually add corn sold in packs of 6 to my line, call them... pick 6, or picked 6, or something like that. Once I record a pick 6 I can start thinking about it but the product simply won't work until then. I'd name a pet duck Chris Quacky,"

Question 6: Is water wetter than a wilted watermelon? @negs

"Without wonder."

Question 7: Have any specific goals for this season? @slothfacekilla

"I certainly do. They say defenses win championships, I'm looking to get the Minnesota Grey Ducks to the Ultimini and take home the trophy. I think I excel at grabbing those turnovers be it in the air or on the ground, I challenge myself to be competitive and take the ball and get it back to the offense as soon as possible. I'm chasing down anyone the offense throws at me."

Question 8: What's the best part about being in Minnesota?

"Gotta be the weather. I grew up in the southeast, and the shift to frigid cold temperatures is jarring, but nothing warms me up like a cup of bad coffee and a game of football. Gets me out of my comfort zone and into all weather, so I can learn to make plays in the heat or the cold. Winter practices are what improve me and the team as a player. And I certainly look forward to home games against teams that don't have the opportunity to practice in the cold."

Question 9: Would you recommend the Beef Lasagna as a Sunday pre game meal? Or is it better to save it for Mondays? @wizard_literal

"Absolutely, without a doubt. Eat that Beef Lasagna right before the game, wash it down with coffee, let that acidity cut through the gravy. Gives me the strength of a bowling ball to knock Wide Receivers to the ground. For important games I stick with corn and coffee, so that I don't get the spins, but getting that protein and carbs just before dashing across the field is important."

Question 10: Would you rather cover a short and speedy receiver or a very tall receiver with average speed? @Twenty6

"I want to challenge myself, so I've got to go for that speedy receiver. I want to match his agility and get to the ball first, pick it and run without needing to even chase him down. A tall receiver has that height to get up there but I'll stick to him like glue. If I can't get up to the ball, you can be damn sure he isn't going anywhere with it."

Question 11: Do you model your game after any particular player?

"I look towards those old players that really brought the Cornerback position to life for me watching tapes of ISFL and NFL games as a kid. Marcus Jones, Stephon Gilmore, I want to be versatile on defense, able to run in for a sack when the offense isn't looking as easily as I can pick off the league's best quarterbacks.

Question 12: If you could only choose to have one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?

"I think this question has been pretty well covered so far, but to be clear, corn, coffee, lasagna, and beef are some of my favorites. Gonna have to go with Shepherd's Pie, or really Cottage Pie for the sticklers out there. But the combination of beef and corn, layered in a casserole with cheese and starch, with a side of cold coffee. That's old, stale room temperature coffee, not iced coffee or cold brew. That needs to be clear"

Question 13: What’s your favorite playground activity? @domffl

"Was always a fan of tag growing up, simple as that may be. I think it's what got me to where I am today, learning speed and the ability to quickly change direction from a young age. That and dodgeball were always favorites."

Question 14: What’s your favorite book?

"I recently began reading "Historical Brewing Techniques" by Lars Garshol, as I want to learn to homebrew beers. If I can get good enough at it, by the time the Ultimini comes around I hope to have a winning brew to share with the team."

Question 15: Rename the Sarasota Sailfish.

"Sarasota's got a great name, no disrespect to the managers. If I was forced to, I'd nod to the big art programs and art festivals they have down there. The Sarasota Painters could make room for colorful jerseys and and interesting logo."

Question 16: Why is Minnesota the greatest franchise of all time? @TwoSocks

"Hard to answer a universal truth, but it *is* the truth. No team I'd rather be on, and none I could be prouder to represent. Go ducks!"

Question 17: Would you rather fight 100 ducks or 10 human sized ducks?

"Every day at practice I'm put up against just over 10 human sized ducks, I feel like I have a lot of experience there. The Grey Ducks fight harder than anyone else. Not to mention that if I start winning against the 100 regular sized ducks, they can start flying away. I don't have wings, and I think the 10 human sized ducks will be too big to be able to fly, sort of like Emus or Ostriches. I don't think they can fly, but I could be wrong. Wings are a big factor here regarding my ability to beat them."

End of Press Conference:

"Thank you all for coming and for your questions. That's all I'll be taking for now, but I look forward to the next one. Until then, GO DUCKS!"

[jollyjiggs]

Any teammates that have been especially helpful to you in Minnesota so far?

[Dindog]

1. What are the top 3 foods that have gravy
2. Do any of the Cravy products have gravy?
3 are there any special pre game meals you eat?
4. If you had a pet duck, what would you name it and would you feed it anything from your line of Cravy products?

[negs]

Is water wetter than a wilted watermelon?

[slothfacekilla]

Have any specific goals for this season?

What's the best part about being in Minnesota?

[wizard_literal]

Would you recommend the Beef Lasagna as a Sunday pre game meal? Or is it better to save it for Mondays?

[Twenty6]

1) Would you rather cover a short and speedy receiver or a very tall receiver with average speed?
2) Do you model your game after any particular player?
3) If you could only choose to have one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?

[domffl]

What’s your favorite playground activity?

What’s your favorite book?

Rename the Sarasota Sailfish.

[TwoSocks]

Why is Minnesota the greatest franchise of all time?
Would you rather fight 100 ducks or 10 human sized ducks?