02-09-2024, 10:52 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-20-2024, 09:42 AM by lemonoppy. Edited 1 time in total.)
Hey all, it’s your favorite ISFL media member (pshh who’s even heard of Baron1898 am I right guys?!) here to give a quick update on how the year of the Joker is going and let me tell you. It is going just as I predicted. If you don’t remember what was discussed in last weeks edition I will point you here because I don't remember either, but all you really know is that the first casualties of the year of the Joker belong to:
@caleb.grim
The Yeti Losers
Lemonoppy and the ISFL fantasy server
Tuba’s Tolliver gambling addicts
But the first four games and the first week was just the tip of the iceberg for the year of the Joker because we still have so much more season left! Quickly switching sides after falling victim to the year of the Joker, caleb.grim’s newest dominator rankings reflected the Wraiths in a much better spot moving them up from 13th all the way to 3rd in one week! Probably around where we should have been at the start of the season don’t you think statistician steve?
Anywho enough about that let’s get into the next game, shall we? This next matchup was against the new and improved Chicago Butchers but were they all that improved? Were they really going to chop us down or were we going to Wraith all over their face? Okay uhhhhhhh moving on, The Wraiths dominated and this is the first time I really have had to step in. Joining the festivities of the year of the Joker, I, Zenzeroni Xystarch II, the all powerful and one true kicker of the ISFL, single handedly won this game for my team. Suzuka had a vital role in the game as well scoring the game winning touchdown with a minute 24 but with the final score being 23-20 MY three field goals were what pushed us over the top. NOT the touchdown from Suzuka nor the touchdown from Tolliver nor the three interceptions our defense had. IT WAS I THE BEST KICKER TO EVER GRACE THIS PLANE OF EXISTENCE THAT SAVED THE WRAITHS FROM ANOTHER LOSS SOUNDLY DEFEATING THE ARROGANT FORMER FRIEND TURNED EVIL OFFENSIVE LINEMAN TRICERACOP #BRINGBACKPAUL
However, a rumble could be heard throughout the league and when the Wraiths took the field this past Wednesday, something felt different. It was a battle of the best in the NSFC as the Hawks went to Yellowknife to take on the Wraiths. It was a back and forth battle with the Wraiths taking their first lead of the night with 11 minutes to go in the fourth thanks to a pick 6 from Thor Dangerson but with 6 minutes left, the Hawks answered back scoring a touchdown of their own taking a 20-16 lead. Boudreaux collapsed in crunch time and the Wraiths offense refused to get anything going leading to a final score of 20-16. When the dust settled, for the first time in the year of the Joker, Zenzeroni Xystarch II stared at the field confused. He had expected the first loss, but the second loss, to Baltimore?! No. Something was wrong. Zenzeroni ran back to the locker room and immediately found the culprit. Lifting the game ball was Thor Dangerson and Zenzeroni realized what had happened. If the Wraiths wanted to win Thor could NOT be winning game balls. If he was the best defender on the field the team was in real trouble.
So as great game managers do, Zenzeroni had an ingenious plan. Thor was to be suspended for a game and confined to the walls of Zen’s Za Italian Pizzeria (anyone else is more than welcome to come by!). This would ensure that Thor wouldn’t receive a game ball and guarantee a victory come Friday. But another plan emerged as fates often do align in the Year of the Joker and with the suspension of Thor Dangerson a new member of the secondary joined the fray. Tyler One, fresh off the plane from Orange County was here to make an impact for his new team. This wasn't all because as mentioned in the previous article, the year of the Joker is a multi-faceted mission that doesn't involve one plan or even two plans. Because this next plan was possibly the best move of the week so with that short introduction it's time for the next ally of the mission to make his face known.
Nicknamed “The Prophessiah” by the very man suspended by Zenzeroni (not like he had any better things to do anyway) @McGriddy10 enters the scene. Quite possibly the best stock holder. Sorry THE best stock trader in the league Mega Tron has been rapid fire trading and constantly bringing his stocks to the moon. So Zenzeroni knew what had to be done. If he could get Mega Tron to invest in Yellowknife stocks they were assured victory. But the Year of the Joker finds a way and without having to lift a finger the whispers of Yellowknife reached Mega Tron who was now in Zenzeroni’s backpocket. Zenzeroni was as excited as ever for the newest chapter in the Year of the Joker. All the plans had been put into place and in the early hours of Friday there was even a media piece put out about the best rookie kicker season. PERFECT! Zen thought as he clicked the article. After all, he had received 1st team all pro as a rookie kicker, having one of the best rookie seasons ever. Surely he would make this list. But no plan can ever go smoothly and @DoubleDub had thrown this bump in the road. For what reason I’m not sure but he was determined to get in Zenzeroni’s head.
The FIRST requirement he had decided on for best rookie season was points scored. Which is fine becuase Zen had 129 points which was a very respectable number after all he was PERFECT from extra points and only missed 3 field goals the entire season. But DoubleDub had a vendetta against poor young innocent Zenzeroni. And what he said next would infuriate Zenzeroni to his wits end “I am going to take the top 15 in total points which is conveniently the rookie kickers who scored 130 or more points in their first season”. The word “conveniently” is like a slap to the face to Zenzeroni why stop at 130 points I wonder? Why only do the top 15 I wonder? Let’s move one row down to number 16 in this specific criteria shall we DOUBLEDUB. OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT ITS ZENZERONI XYSTARCH II HOW “CONVENIENT” IS THAT DOUBLEDUB. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA. I won’t say I had the best rookie season because that isn’t the truth but I sure as hell had a better season than some of those absolute bafoons in the top 15 that is for damn sure!
Zenzeroni’s anger only continued to rage as he remembered that today was a special day. Today he had his own vendetta, this one, against the Berlin Fire Salamanders (who are looking for a GM btw. Maybe if they would have drafted me their GM would have stayed). That’s right the team that picked Golden Foote ONE SPOT above me, Zenzeroni Xystarch II. There is no logical reasoning for this other than that Golden Foote had some kind of dirt on the GM’s over there and even still I WAS THE OBVIOUS CHOICE. But I don’t hold grudges! Okay I don’t know why I said that, that was a complete lie. I DO HOLD GRUDGES AND THIS WAS MY GAME FOR VENGENCE. As my ghost writer Thor Dangerson put “tonight is a big night for Zenzeroni Xystarch II. We are playing Berlin. The Berlin who drafted Golden Foote first one pick before the YKW selected Zenzeroni. This is a grudge match. This is a game that says Berlin what even is a salamander anyway and why would you take someone who can't even spell a simple word like foot correctly over one of the most prolific ISFL writers and kicker”.
And with the blessings of “The Prophessiah”
It was time for the next victim of The Year of the Joker
Golden Foote vs Zenzeroni Xystarch II who would emerge victorious? This wasn’t a battle of Fire Salamanders and Wraiths this was a battle of one kicker vs the other kicker. Who was the better kicker of their class and under the Friday Night Lights, all was revealed. Golden Foote got off to an early lead kicking a 29 and 47 yard field goal to go up 6-0 on Zenzeroni but Zenzeroni answered right back scoring two field goals of his own with monster 46 and 52 yard field goals to tie it up at 6 a piece. But how do we dictate a winner then BECAUSE THE IDIOT COACHES OVER AT YELLOWKNIFE DECIDED TO HELL WITH EXTRA POINTS THEN BERLIN WAS LIKE “I GUESS WE WILL JOIN THEM TOO!” AND THEY DIDN’T GO FOR ANY EXTRA POINTS EITHER! So we have to judge by a different metric and distance is the easiest one to look at. Oh and would you look at that! With a total distance of 98 yards to a measly 76 Zenzeroni is victorious! But that isn’t the full picture so let’s look at the punts as well! Zenzeroni had 6 punts 4 inside the 20 for an average of 49 yards. Golden Foote meanwhile could only muster 4 punts only getting 1 inside the 20 for a 47.5 average. So on both fronts Zenzeroni was the clear champion and Golden Foote became the only victim of the week!
We aren’t going to talk about the two safeties and two interceptions by the Wraiths defense because who even cares am I right?! Eh? Eh? Eh?!!!!
Anyway this was a lighter less confrontational edition of the Year of the Joker. But DoubleDub you are on thin ice buddy. I got my eyes on you. And if you dare make another article about kickers where the main topic isn’t about how great Zenzeroni Xystarch II is, then we are going to throw hands. And I’ve got noodle arms so you are DONEZO.
The Year of the Joker Victims
caleb.grim
The Yeti Losers
Lemonoppy and the ISFL fantasy server
Tuba’s Tolliver gambling addicts
Golden Foote
The year of the Joker forges on......will YOU be the next victim to succumb to the immovable force of the Year of the Joker? Or will you hitch a ride and join so many others as the Joker army grows day after day after day after day hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I am the greatest kicker to ever live no one stands in front of me that is better no one in the past reaches the heights of my greatness the only reason the Wraiths have been doing so well is because I Zenzeroni Xystarch the second have blessed them with my appearance making sure to score every single extra point while missing just one field goal. And you may be wondering why I missed that field goal. Well it certainly wasn’t for anyone but myself. I needed to humble myself because hubris is the death of us all. But now that I am grounded I can see the light again and see a new world before me. One where I am the ruler -Zenzeroni Xystarch II (2/1/24 10:12 AM)
@caleb.grim
The Yeti Losers
Lemonoppy and the ISFL fantasy server
Tuba’s Tolliver gambling addicts
But the first four games and the first week was just the tip of the iceberg for the year of the Joker because we still have so much more season left! Quickly switching sides after falling victim to the year of the Joker, caleb.grim’s newest dominator rankings reflected the Wraiths in a much better spot moving them up from 13th all the way to 3rd in one week! Probably around where we should have been at the start of the season don’t you think statistician steve?
Anywho enough about that let’s get into the next game, shall we? This next matchup was against the new and improved Chicago Butchers but were they all that improved? Were they really going to chop us down or were we going to Wraith all over their face? Okay uhhhhhhh moving on, The Wraiths dominated and this is the first time I really have had to step in. Joining the festivities of the year of the Joker, I, Zenzeroni Xystarch II, the all powerful and one true kicker of the ISFL, single handedly won this game for my team. Suzuka had a vital role in the game as well scoring the game winning touchdown with a minute 24 but with the final score being 23-20 MY three field goals were what pushed us over the top. NOT the touchdown from Suzuka nor the touchdown from Tolliver nor the three interceptions our defense had. IT WAS I THE BEST KICKER TO EVER GRACE THIS PLANE OF EXISTENCE THAT SAVED THE WRAITHS FROM ANOTHER LOSS SOUNDLY DEFEATING THE ARROGANT FORMER FRIEND TURNED EVIL OFFENSIVE LINEMAN TRICERACOP #BRINGBACKPAUL
However, a rumble could be heard throughout the league and when the Wraiths took the field this past Wednesday, something felt different. It was a battle of the best in the NSFC as the Hawks went to Yellowknife to take on the Wraiths. It was a back and forth battle with the Wraiths taking their first lead of the night with 11 minutes to go in the fourth thanks to a pick 6 from Thor Dangerson but with 6 minutes left, the Hawks answered back scoring a touchdown of their own taking a 20-16 lead. Boudreaux collapsed in crunch time and the Wraiths offense refused to get anything going leading to a final score of 20-16. When the dust settled, for the first time in the year of the Joker, Zenzeroni Xystarch II stared at the field confused. He had expected the first loss, but the second loss, to Baltimore?! No. Something was wrong. Zenzeroni ran back to the locker room and immediately found the culprit. Lifting the game ball was Thor Dangerson and Zenzeroni realized what had happened. If the Wraiths wanted to win Thor could NOT be winning game balls. If he was the best defender on the field the team was in real trouble.
So as great game managers do, Zenzeroni had an ingenious plan. Thor was to be suspended for a game and confined to the walls of Zen’s Za Italian Pizzeria (anyone else is more than welcome to come by!). This would ensure that Thor wouldn’t receive a game ball and guarantee a victory come Friday. But another plan emerged as fates often do align in the Year of the Joker and with the suspension of Thor Dangerson a new member of the secondary joined the fray. Tyler One, fresh off the plane from Orange County was here to make an impact for his new team. This wasn't all because as mentioned in the previous article, the year of the Joker is a multi-faceted mission that doesn't involve one plan or even two plans. Because this next plan was possibly the best move of the week so with that short introduction it's time for the next ally of the mission to make his face known.
Nicknamed “The Prophessiah” by the very man suspended by Zenzeroni (not like he had any better things to do anyway) @McGriddy10 enters the scene. Quite possibly the best stock holder. Sorry THE best stock trader in the league Mega Tron has been rapid fire trading and constantly bringing his stocks to the moon. So Zenzeroni knew what had to be done. If he could get Mega Tron to invest in Yellowknife stocks they were assured victory. But the Year of the Joker finds a way and without having to lift a finger the whispers of Yellowknife reached Mega Tron who was now in Zenzeroni’s backpocket. Zenzeroni was as excited as ever for the newest chapter in the Year of the Joker. All the plans had been put into place and in the early hours of Friday there was even a media piece put out about the best rookie kicker season. PERFECT! Zen thought as he clicked the article. After all, he had received 1st team all pro as a rookie kicker, having one of the best rookie seasons ever. Surely he would make this list. But no plan can ever go smoothly and @DoubleDub had thrown this bump in the road. For what reason I’m not sure but he was determined to get in Zenzeroni’s head.
The FIRST requirement he had decided on for best rookie season was points scored. Which is fine becuase Zen had 129 points which was a very respectable number after all he was PERFECT from extra points and only missed 3 field goals the entire season. But DoubleDub had a vendetta against poor young innocent Zenzeroni. And what he said next would infuriate Zenzeroni to his wits end “I am going to take the top 15 in total points which is conveniently the rookie kickers who scored 130 or more points in their first season”. The word “conveniently” is like a slap to the face to Zenzeroni why stop at 130 points I wonder? Why only do the top 15 I wonder? Let’s move one row down to number 16 in this specific criteria shall we DOUBLEDUB. OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT ITS ZENZERONI XYSTARCH II HOW “CONVENIENT” IS THAT DOUBLEDUB. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA. I won’t say I had the best rookie season because that isn’t the truth but I sure as hell had a better season than some of those absolute bafoons in the top 15 that is for damn sure!
Zenzeroni’s anger only continued to rage as he remembered that today was a special day. Today he had his own vendetta, this one, against the Berlin Fire Salamanders (who are looking for a GM btw. Maybe if they would have drafted me their GM would have stayed). That’s right the team that picked Golden Foote ONE SPOT above me, Zenzeroni Xystarch II. There is no logical reasoning for this other than that Golden Foote had some kind of dirt on the GM’s over there and even still I WAS THE OBVIOUS CHOICE. But I don’t hold grudges! Okay I don’t know why I said that, that was a complete lie. I DO HOLD GRUDGES AND THIS WAS MY GAME FOR VENGENCE. As my ghost writer Thor Dangerson put “tonight is a big night for Zenzeroni Xystarch II. We are playing Berlin. The Berlin who drafted Golden Foote first one pick before the YKW selected Zenzeroni. This is a grudge match. This is a game that says Berlin what even is a salamander anyway and why would you take someone who can't even spell a simple word like foot correctly over one of the most prolific ISFL writers and kicker”.
And with the blessings of “The Prophessiah”
It was time for the next victim of The Year of the Joker
Golden Foote vs Zenzeroni Xystarch II who would emerge victorious? This wasn’t a battle of Fire Salamanders and Wraiths this was a battle of one kicker vs the other kicker. Who was the better kicker of their class and under the Friday Night Lights, all was revealed. Golden Foote got off to an early lead kicking a 29 and 47 yard field goal to go up 6-0 on Zenzeroni but Zenzeroni answered right back scoring two field goals of his own with monster 46 and 52 yard field goals to tie it up at 6 a piece. But how do we dictate a winner then BECAUSE THE IDIOT COACHES OVER AT YELLOWKNIFE DECIDED TO HELL WITH EXTRA POINTS THEN BERLIN WAS LIKE “I GUESS WE WILL JOIN THEM TOO!” AND THEY DIDN’T GO FOR ANY EXTRA POINTS EITHER! So we have to judge by a different metric and distance is the easiest one to look at. Oh and would you look at that! With a total distance of 98 yards to a measly 76 Zenzeroni is victorious! But that isn’t the full picture so let’s look at the punts as well! Zenzeroni had 6 punts 4 inside the 20 for an average of 49 yards. Golden Foote meanwhile could only muster 4 punts only getting 1 inside the 20 for a 47.5 average. So on both fronts Zenzeroni was the clear champion and Golden Foote became the only victim of the week!
We aren’t going to talk about the two safeties and two interceptions by the Wraiths defense because who even cares am I right?! Eh? Eh? Eh?!!!!
Anyway this was a lighter less confrontational edition of the Year of the Joker. But DoubleDub you are on thin ice buddy. I got my eyes on you. And if you dare make another article about kickers where the main topic isn’t about how great Zenzeroni Xystarch II is, then we are going to throw hands. And I’ve got noodle arms so you are DONEZO.
The Year of the Joker Victims
caleb.grim
The Yeti Losers
Lemonoppy and the ISFL fantasy server
Tuba’s Tolliver gambling addicts
Golden Foote
The year of the Joker forges on......will YOU be the next victim to succumb to the immovable force of the Year of the Joker? Or will you hitch a ride and join so many others as the Joker army grows day after day after day after day hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I am the greatest kicker to ever live no one stands in front of me that is better no one in the past reaches the heights of my greatness the only reason the Wraiths have been doing so well is because I Zenzeroni Xystarch the second have blessed them with my appearance making sure to score every single extra point while missing just one field goal. And you may be wondering why I missed that field goal. Well it certainly wasn’t for anyone but myself. I needed to humble myself because hubris is the death of us all. But now that I am grounded I can see the light again and see a new world before me. One where I am the ruler -Zenzeroni Xystarch II (2/1/24 10:12 AM)
Howdy! I am responsible for quite possibly the greatest kicker to ever grace the ISFL and am the most accomplished media writer the ISFL has ever seen (no need to ask anyone else regarding either of those claims)
Important Media You Must Read If You Want To Be Cool Like Me
The Villainous Jreed12: The Case Against the WEAKly Mirror|Jreed is a multi|Coming soon
The Truth About Baron1898: The Self Proclaimed Queen|The Evil Queen|The Curse of Venus|The Truth
The Year of the Joker: Year of the Joker|Doubling Down|Bye to Losers|Win or Not?|Last Dance
Read the full 56 Chapter Book of Zen Catalog here: The Book of Zen
Miscellaneous Articles: The Clown Car Four|The Nauseating Nine|1 Star Mcdonalds Prospect Analysis