02-16-2024, 01:14 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-20-2024, 09:46 AM by lemonoppy. Edited 1 time in total.)
The Daily Prophet #3: Newspaper Wars and Upstart Revolutions
By Rita Skeeter
Hex HO
Dark days have subjected these wizarding and muggle alleys across the world as the ISFL community is in uproar over disputes between the ruling class and the rookie DSFL players. Multiple manifestos have been released by these rookie upstarts in an attempt to underline the disparity that is occurring within the very fabric of all that we hold dear. This little reporter was on the case to crack open the dragon’s egg and determine what is really happening behind the walls of the ISFL community.
At the forefront of this debate is the allocation of TPE and gluttony amongst the ISFL Elite for this precious resource. TPE is the currency of the ISFL and works similar to a potion. The effects of this TPE elixir are permanent increases to speed and other physical attributes, even though it seems 99% of this TPE goes to increasing speed, regardless of position.
The controversy started when rookies began to question how veteran players and HO allocate and use this precious resource. The leaders of the ISFL have been withholding this TPE from their rookie counterparts in an attempt to assert their power and will. Many veteran players simply waste their TPE towards regression, in an attempt to stave off the inevitability of aging. This truly sounds like some dark magic at work. One can only question if “he-who-shall-not-be-named” has returned and taken up roots within the halls and offices of the ISFL.
Salacious Allegations
The very integrity of this fine newspaper, The Daily Prophet, is under attack by an upstart media outlet called The Weekly Mirror. The Weekly Mirror dropped allegations last week that interns at the The Daily Prophet were being subjected to forced consumption of ill-flavored magic jelly beans by none other than the famed Tim Riggins.
These allegations are preposterous as former Hogwarts Tight End and current Kansas City Coyotes Wide Receiver Tim Riggins doesn’t even work here. When we reached out to Tim for questioning he responded, “I don’t even work here”. Blasphemous allegations, he doesn’t even go here!
One can only begin to question why this click-bait media outlet dared to defame the Daily Prophet, which has proudly brought the news to the wizarding world since 1883.
Conspiracy and collusion folks. Your humble writer, Rita Skeeter, who is as honest and forthright as a Phoenix, believes that this is all an attempt to divert attention away from the cries of the rookie rebellion. Could they be reaching into the TPE pockets of their HO masters? Are they the house elf to the HO elite, doomed to do their bidding until the end of days?
Only time will tell and Rita has her eyes on the case!
Personal Note: I am sorry good readers for the delay. I had changed shape into a beetle and none other than Hermione Granger trapped me in a bottle for two weeks.
By Rita Skeeter
Hex HO
Dark days have subjected these wizarding and muggle alleys across the world as the ISFL community is in uproar over disputes between the ruling class and the rookie DSFL players. Multiple manifestos have been released by these rookie upstarts in an attempt to underline the disparity that is occurring within the very fabric of all that we hold dear. This little reporter was on the case to crack open the dragon’s egg and determine what is really happening behind the walls of the ISFL community.
At the forefront of this debate is the allocation of TPE and gluttony amongst the ISFL Elite for this precious resource. TPE is the currency of the ISFL and works similar to a potion. The effects of this TPE elixir are permanent increases to speed and other physical attributes, even though it seems 99% of this TPE goes to increasing speed, regardless of position.
The controversy started when rookies began to question how veteran players and HO allocate and use this precious resource. The leaders of the ISFL have been withholding this TPE from their rookie counterparts in an attempt to assert their power and will. Many veteran players simply waste their TPE towards regression, in an attempt to stave off the inevitability of aging. This truly sounds like some dark magic at work. One can only question if “he-who-shall-not-be-named” has returned and taken up roots within the halls and offices of the ISFL.
Salacious Allegations
The very integrity of this fine newspaper, The Daily Prophet, is under attack by an upstart media outlet called The Weekly Mirror. The Weekly Mirror dropped allegations last week that interns at the The Daily Prophet were being subjected to forced consumption of ill-flavored magic jelly beans by none other than the famed Tim Riggins.
These allegations are preposterous as former Hogwarts Tight End and current Kansas City Coyotes Wide Receiver Tim Riggins doesn’t even work here. When we reached out to Tim for questioning he responded, “I don’t even work here”. Blasphemous allegations, he doesn’t even go here!
One can only begin to question why this click-bait media outlet dared to defame the Daily Prophet, which has proudly brought the news to the wizarding world since 1883.
Conspiracy and collusion folks. Your humble writer, Rita Skeeter, who is as honest and forthright as a Phoenix, believes that this is all an attempt to divert attention away from the cries of the rookie rebellion. Could they be reaching into the TPE pockets of their HO masters? Are they the house elf to the HO elite, doomed to do their bidding until the end of days?
Only time will tell and Rita has her eyes on the case!
Personal Note: I am sorry good readers for the delay. I had changed shape into a beetle and none other than Hermione Granger trapped me in a bottle for two weeks.