RT: WELCOME TO FIRST DATE, AN XXL FOOTBALL NETWORK GAMESHOW!!! I'M YOUR HOST, RONY TOMO, AND LEEETTT'SSS MEET THE CONTESTANTS! FIRST, FROM THE BALTIMORE HAWKS OFFENSIVE LINE, AVON BLOCKSDALE!!! SECOND, FROM THE HAWKS WIDE RECEIVING CORE, TREY WILLIE!!! FINALLY, FROM THE DEFENSIVE LINE, RICARDO SANDOVAL!!! Let's get down to business now. Today, we have 20 questions for our contestants, and we will open voting to you, the people, to decide our winner! Are the Contestants ready to play?
AB: Avon is always ready.
RS:Yes I am, Rony!
TW: I think so?
RT:That's the spirit, Trey! Let's hop right into it!
Our first question is: What do you do, and how long have you been doing it?
AB: I'm an offensive lineman for the Baltimore Hawks. Was there last season, and am going to be doing it for a while. This upcoming season, I'll be at Left Tackle protecting our QB's blind side.
TW: I am a mild-mannered banker by day and I haunt DBs for the Baltimore Hawks in the evening. I am fairly new in both positions.
RS: Well, obviously, I play defensive line for the Baltimore Hawks, as you stated, and I've only been doing it for this past NSFL offseason. I'm still a rookie, and I think I'll be doing this for a while!
RT: Excellent answers all around! Now let's see our second question: What type of music do you like?
RS: Earlier in the year, you sat me down and had me give my thoughts on Amine's Good for You, and with that, I think it's evident I am a huge Hip-Hop and Rap fan.
TW: I am all old school. 70s & 80s rock and 90s hip hop mostly.
AB:My main type of music is rock music. I love old school stuff like the Stones, the Who and the Beatles, to more modern stuff like Radiohead and Muse. Also into rap/ hip hop like Jay Z, Biggie, and Kanye.
RT: A wide variety of music here, good to hear! Question 3: What is your absolute favorite food?
RS: My favorite food is quarterbacks. When a poor offensive line serves it up to me, I can't resist just wolfing down on them. Real high in stats!
AB: As a born and raised New Yorker nothing beats pizza. I honestly could eat it every day, and as a giant offensive lineman I can (and do).
TW: My absolute favorite food is steak but if I had to choose i food to eat everyday, it would be chicken since it can be prepared so many ways.
RT: Well, Ricardo took that question a bit figuratively but we'll allow it. Number 4: What combination of toppings makes your perfect pizza? Avon, you should be an expert in this one!
TW: MEAT!
RS: Some bacon, sausage, chorizo, olives. Just savory stuff. But no pineapple. That's the devil's pizza topping.
AB: As the expert on pizza there are two different answers to the question. If I'm eating by myself I go with bacon and garlic. It tastes incredible, you get the crispy bacon and the garlic flavor is amazing. BUT on a date, you can't get garlic on your pizza. Your girl is gonna want some kind of a vegetable, so I would say a prosciuotto arugula pizza if you're going on a date. That's one of the best kinds of pizza you can get, and only in NY is it the best. Also Ricardo is right, pineapple on pizza is GARBAGE.
RT: Excellent answer from Avon, our resident pizza expert! Of course, here's number 5: What fact about you would surprise me the most?
RS: I can actually fart on command. I know that doesn't sound awesome, but it really is. It really is.
TW: I have been acquitted of murder twice. And I have literally tasted human heart.
AB: I was a running back for my team in middle school, and then got HUGE. I was kind of a shorter kid growing up.
RT: Well Trey certainly pulled a shocker out there, but let's take it in stride to go to the 6th question: If your life was a movie, who would play you?
AB: I think it would have to be Wood Harris. People say we have a STRIKING resemblance.
RS: I think definitely Matthew McCounaghey. He and I definitely have the same body type, skin tone, voice. Just a beautiful man, like me.
TW:I think a young Edward Norton would be the most similar. Otherwise, Tom Hardy could maybe pull it off
RT: Well now we move onto question number 7: If you were stuck on a deserted island, who would you choose to have with you?
RS: I'd choose to have my GM, Hendrix, and I'm not just saying that to get more playing time...
AB: I'm aware I'm on a dating show, but honesty is the best policy. I would 100% take Beyonce. Just me and Beyonce on a desert island. That would be incredible.
TW: I think I would want that volleyball from Castaway with me. If I had to choose a human,probably Jennifer Anniston. She only gets hotter every year.
RT: UNFORTUNATELY we have to have a quick elimination, and Trey Willie, I'm sorry to say you are no longer eligible
. We are now left with just Ricardo Sandoval and Avon Blocksdale. Now, for question number 8: What’s your favorite TV show right now?
AB: Game of Thrones is the best TV show right now. It's the perfect mix of fantasy stuff and politics. The politics in it is super interesting. Not to mention the action sequences as well. Keeps me on the edge of my seat every night.
RS: At the moment, the best show on television is easily Sportscenter with SVP. Scott Van Pelt is a living breathing legend, and the fact that we don't all bow down to him daily is a goddamn shame. That man has such a lucious bald head and those glasses are mm mm good! I love that man.
AB: Love SVP, great choice Ricardo
RT: I agree with Avon's sentiments, SVP is one of my good friends in the journalism community, and we move on to the next question... Number 9: What’s your favorite piece of clothing that you own?
AB: That's an obvious answer to me. My week 1 S2 jersey from my debut game against the Las Vegas Legion. The number 64 has been my number since I was an O Linemen on JV in High School, and seeing it on a pro uniform, with my name? That's wild. You just cannot get a feeling like that from a regular piece of clothing.
RS: I'm a little bit embarrased to say this, but... My favorite is very similar to Avon's. My favorite piece of clothing is a S2 Hawks Avon Blocksdale jersey. As a senior in high school, I played DT and OL, so I respect the hell out of that position, and when Avon came into the scene, I went out and immediately got a custom made jersey. There. That's the most emotion you'll get outta me...
AB: Love to hear it man, so happy to have you on the squad. I gotta pick up my own Hawks Sandoval Jersey as well.
RT: A nice bonding moment between teammates here as we move onto number 10: What has been your greatest achievement so far?
RS: My greatest achievment was sacking the one and only Chris Orosz in my first official NSFL snap. It was pretty nice, not gonna lie.
AB: My greatest accomplishment was helping lead the O-Line to an NSFC championship. We had one of the best offensive lines in the league last year, and I was actually the fourth O Lineman drafted by the Hawks in the S2 draft. By the end the year I had allowed the least amount sacks, and was moved to tackle. During the playoffs I was pretty fricken good having 8 pancakes and 0 sacks. Super proud of my playoff performances.
RT: Moving right along to NUMBER 11: If you could donate to any charity, which charity would it be and why?
RS: I'd donate to my own charity, Abandoned Angels. It's an organization that helps children who's parents were deported to have fatherly figures and know what it's like to live the good life just like any other kid, but they have to do it sin parents.
AB: As a Penn State Alumn, I always try to talk up THON. THON, short for Penn State's dance marathon, is the largest student run charity organization in the world. It raises money for children with cancer, to help pay for their cancer treatment, and help their family. It's raised SO much money for children, and everyone should look into it.
RT: And now for question numero doce: If you could be any animal, which animal would you be?
AB: That's a very interesting question, and I hate to be corny with it but have to say a Hawk right? I've been a Hawk for over a season now, and it would be fun to actually be one and be able to fly. It would be really cool to have a birds eye view of everything.
RS: Hawk is a great answer, CAW CAW
RT: Question thirteen: The Queen, Trump, and Obama. Kill, marry, screw. Go!
RS: Well, I'd probably screw the queen because of society's pressures to prove yourself to not be homosexual even if a former president is better looking than the old tart. I'd marry Obama because he seems like a delightful husband. And FDT so kill the bitch...
AB: I'm going to answer this question very creatively. As many know I hate Donald Trump, so you think it would be an easy answer to kill him. BUT I'm going to say I would kill the queen. Marry Michelle Obama (she's an absolute delight), and fuck Ivanka Trump. While Ivanka is a lying psychopathic hypocrite, she's extraordinarily attractive. So there you go.
RT: Come on Avon. (Barack) and (Donald)
AB: In that case I would sleep with the Queen, Marry Barack and Kill Donald
but I like my creativity Rony
RT: No problem, the creativity is definitely there.
number 14: Who is your ideal NFL Head Coach?
RS: I would love to play for Mike Tomlin. As unlikeable as he is, he has a take em down and step on their neck attitude about him. Just a great guy
AB: As everyone knows I am a man of Integrity, so that completely rules out Bill Bellicheat the cheater. I'm all about strong leaders, so I would say if we're going all time Vince Lombardi. He was a great innovator and a legend of the game. If we're going for modern day coaches I love my college coach BIll O'Brien. He helped me SO much in College and he's a great guy.
RT: great answers! Question number 15: Who is your favorite musical artist?
RS: I like Kendrick Lamar. His sound is so iconic, and he has different voices that he uses to convey different emotions and it really changes the tone and tempo of his music. I truly believe he is the greatest rapper of all time.
AB: My all time favorite musical artist is a tough one. I think it has to be the Beatles. They really are the perfect musical group, and music would not be the same without them. They have so many top albums and I'm always listening to different stuff by them.
Ricardo Kendrick is a great choice too, he's awesome
RS: The Beatles are definitely iconic.
RT: Question 16 for our contestants: Which NSFL team would you like to be on if not the Hawks?
RS: Now, Rony, as you know, Francois Lamoreaux and I are great friends, as French and Spanish are not very much unlike each other. So I'd like to go to the Wraiths, as much as it may disgust my friend Avon Blocksdale to hear
AB: that is absolutely disgusting to hear Ricardo. I would say that it would be amazing to be play for Arizona obviously. They have an incredible infrastructure, and their GMs are really on top of their shit.
RS: Avon, you have always been a front runner, 1 on 1 outside, right now
RT: Well folks, we may see this be taken outside now
AB: I actually don't hate the Wraiths (except for full on baby scrub Francois Lamoreaux) but no way could you choose a conference rival
RS: true
RT: Aw they've resolved their differences
audience groans
RT: Question 17: Which DSFL team is your favorite?
AB: My least favorite team is EASILY the Chicago Blues, those dudes turned me down to help GM them, a decision they will come to regret. My favorite team is probably the Luchadores since fellow Hawk Sleepy is the co-GM there
RS: I think the best team by far is the Blues
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Just kidding, the Blues are being run into the ground, Coyotes all the way
RT: Who in the league would you want to have sex with the most?
RS: I'd like to have sex with Alexandra Jones. Actually, I did, and you can read about it in my latest PT on Football Wives, the show! Reader's Discretion is advised
AB: I would say that if I had to have sex with someone in the league, it would have to be Alexandra Jones, GM of the Blues since, even though she didn't hire me, appears to be a very attractive woman
AYYOO RICKY
look at us
teammates think alike
RS: Gotta get dat puzzy somehow, huh?
RT: Question 19: What is your opinion on crab cakes?
RS: Well, Owen Taylor (@manicmav36) I love you, but they're shit. Just the worst seafood. Hush puppies are better, and they don't even have seafood in them
AB: I fricken love crab cakes. One of the best parts of playing in Baltimore is getting incredible crab cakes. I like the ones that have much more real crab in it. Not big into ones with a lot of Mayo, but I love crab cakes and especially crab cake sandwiches
RS: Man, Avon, fuck crabcakes, you know that?
AB: Ricky what can I say, I'm a crab cake guy
RS: Beefcakes are better
RT: Wellllllll this is getting a tad off track
Question 20: Why should someone pick you as a partner?
RS: *looks at the camera*. Because I fuck. Hard
AB: I'm the most lovable guy on the Hawks, heck I just wrote about how I'm dating TWINS. TWINS. AT THE SAME TIME. I'm the greatest
RT: Thank you for our contestant, and now it is up to YOU, the NSFL, to decide our winner. Polls close on Friday. Good NIGHT!!
2,467 words - 40% to me, 40% to @cosbornballboy 20% to @ItsJustBarry
GRADED
AB: Avon is always ready.
RS:Yes I am, Rony!
TW: I think so?
RT:That's the spirit, Trey! Let's hop right into it!
Our first question is: What do you do, and how long have you been doing it?
AB: I'm an offensive lineman for the Baltimore Hawks. Was there last season, and am going to be doing it for a while. This upcoming season, I'll be at Left Tackle protecting our QB's blind side.
TW: I am a mild-mannered banker by day and I haunt DBs for the Baltimore Hawks in the evening. I am fairly new in both positions.
RS: Well, obviously, I play defensive line for the Baltimore Hawks, as you stated, and I've only been doing it for this past NSFL offseason. I'm still a rookie, and I think I'll be doing this for a while!
RT: Excellent answers all around! Now let's see our second question: What type of music do you like?
RS: Earlier in the year, you sat me down and had me give my thoughts on Amine's Good for You, and with that, I think it's evident I am a huge Hip-Hop and Rap fan.
TW: I am all old school. 70s & 80s rock and 90s hip hop mostly.
AB:My main type of music is rock music. I love old school stuff like the Stones, the Who and the Beatles, to more modern stuff like Radiohead and Muse. Also into rap/ hip hop like Jay Z, Biggie, and Kanye.
RT: A wide variety of music here, good to hear! Question 3: What is your absolute favorite food?
RS: My favorite food is quarterbacks. When a poor offensive line serves it up to me, I can't resist just wolfing down on them. Real high in stats!
AB: As a born and raised New Yorker nothing beats pizza. I honestly could eat it every day, and as a giant offensive lineman I can (and do).
TW: My absolute favorite food is steak but if I had to choose i food to eat everyday, it would be chicken since it can be prepared so many ways.
RT: Well, Ricardo took that question a bit figuratively but we'll allow it. Number 4: What combination of toppings makes your perfect pizza? Avon, you should be an expert in this one!
TW: MEAT!
RS: Some bacon, sausage, chorizo, olives. Just savory stuff. But no pineapple. That's the devil's pizza topping.
AB: As the expert on pizza there are two different answers to the question. If I'm eating by myself I go with bacon and garlic. It tastes incredible, you get the crispy bacon and the garlic flavor is amazing. BUT on a date, you can't get garlic on your pizza. Your girl is gonna want some kind of a vegetable, so I would say a prosciuotto arugula pizza if you're going on a date. That's one of the best kinds of pizza you can get, and only in NY is it the best. Also Ricardo is right, pineapple on pizza is GARBAGE.
RT: Excellent answer from Avon, our resident pizza expert! Of course, here's number 5: What fact about you would surprise me the most?
RS: I can actually fart on command. I know that doesn't sound awesome, but it really is. It really is.
TW: I have been acquitted of murder twice. And I have literally tasted human heart.
AB: I was a running back for my team in middle school, and then got HUGE. I was kind of a shorter kid growing up.
RT: Well Trey certainly pulled a shocker out there, but let's take it in stride to go to the 6th question: If your life was a movie, who would play you?
AB: I think it would have to be Wood Harris. People say we have a STRIKING resemblance.
RS: I think definitely Matthew McCounaghey. He and I definitely have the same body type, skin tone, voice. Just a beautiful man, like me.
TW:I think a young Edward Norton would be the most similar. Otherwise, Tom Hardy could maybe pull it off
RT: Well now we move onto question number 7: If you were stuck on a deserted island, who would you choose to have with you?
RS: I'd choose to have my GM, Hendrix, and I'm not just saying that to get more playing time...
AB: I'm aware I'm on a dating show, but honesty is the best policy. I would 100% take Beyonce. Just me and Beyonce on a desert island. That would be incredible.
TW: I think I would want that volleyball from Castaway with me. If I had to choose a human,probably Jennifer Anniston. She only gets hotter every year.
RT: UNFORTUNATELY we have to have a quick elimination, and Trey Willie, I'm sorry to say you are no longer eligible
. We are now left with just Ricardo Sandoval and Avon Blocksdale. Now, for question number 8: What’s your favorite TV show right now?AB: Game of Thrones is the best TV show right now. It's the perfect mix of fantasy stuff and politics. The politics in it is super interesting. Not to mention the action sequences as well. Keeps me on the edge of my seat every night.
RS: At the moment, the best show on television is easily Sportscenter with SVP. Scott Van Pelt is a living breathing legend, and the fact that we don't all bow down to him daily is a goddamn shame. That man has such a lucious bald head and those glasses are mm mm good! I love that man.
AB: Love SVP, great choice Ricardo
RT: I agree with Avon's sentiments, SVP is one of my good friends in the journalism community, and we move on to the next question... Number 9: What’s your favorite piece of clothing that you own?
AB: That's an obvious answer to me. My week 1 S2 jersey from my debut game against the Las Vegas Legion. The number 64 has been my number since I was an O Linemen on JV in High School, and seeing it on a pro uniform, with my name? That's wild. You just cannot get a feeling like that from a regular piece of clothing.
RS: I'm a little bit embarrased to say this, but... My favorite is very similar to Avon's. My favorite piece of clothing is a S2 Hawks Avon Blocksdale jersey. As a senior in high school, I played DT and OL, so I respect the hell out of that position, and when Avon came into the scene, I went out and immediately got a custom made jersey. There. That's the most emotion you'll get outta me...
AB: Love to hear it man, so happy to have you on the squad. I gotta pick up my own Hawks Sandoval Jersey as well.
RT: A nice bonding moment between teammates here as we move onto number 10: What has been your greatest achievement so far?
RS: My greatest achievment was sacking the one and only Chris Orosz in my first official NSFL snap. It was pretty nice, not gonna lie.
AB: My greatest accomplishment was helping lead the O-Line to an NSFC championship. We had one of the best offensive lines in the league last year, and I was actually the fourth O Lineman drafted by the Hawks in the S2 draft. By the end the year I had allowed the least amount sacks, and was moved to tackle. During the playoffs I was pretty fricken good having 8 pancakes and 0 sacks. Super proud of my playoff performances.
RT: Moving right along to NUMBER 11: If you could donate to any charity, which charity would it be and why?
RS: I'd donate to my own charity, Abandoned Angels. It's an organization that helps children who's parents were deported to have fatherly figures and know what it's like to live the good life just like any other kid, but they have to do it sin parents.
AB: As a Penn State Alumn, I always try to talk up THON. THON, short for Penn State's dance marathon, is the largest student run charity organization in the world. It raises money for children with cancer, to help pay for their cancer treatment, and help their family. It's raised SO much money for children, and everyone should look into it.
RT: And now for question numero doce: If you could be any animal, which animal would you be?
AB: That's a very interesting question, and I hate to be corny with it but have to say a Hawk right? I've been a Hawk for over a season now, and it would be fun to actually be one and be able to fly. It would be really cool to have a birds eye view of everything.
RS: Hawk is a great answer, CAW CAW
RT: Question thirteen: The Queen, Trump, and Obama. Kill, marry, screw. Go!
RS: Well, I'd probably screw the queen because of society's pressures to prove yourself to not be homosexual even if a former president is better looking than the old tart. I'd marry Obama because he seems like a delightful husband. And FDT so kill the bitch...
AB: I'm going to answer this question very creatively. As many know I hate Donald Trump, so you think it would be an easy answer to kill him. BUT I'm going to say I would kill the queen. Marry Michelle Obama (she's an absolute delight), and fuck Ivanka Trump. While Ivanka is a lying psychopathic hypocrite, she's extraordinarily attractive. So there you go.
RT: Come on Avon. (Barack) and (Donald)
AB: In that case I would sleep with the Queen, Marry Barack and Kill Donald
but I like my creativity Rony
RT: No problem, the creativity is definitely there.
number 14: Who is your ideal NFL Head Coach?
RS: I would love to play for Mike Tomlin. As unlikeable as he is, he has a take em down and step on their neck attitude about him. Just a great guy
AB: As everyone knows I am a man of Integrity, so that completely rules out Bill Bellicheat the cheater. I'm all about strong leaders, so I would say if we're going all time Vince Lombardi. He was a great innovator and a legend of the game. If we're going for modern day coaches I love my college coach BIll O'Brien. He helped me SO much in College and he's a great guy.
RT: great answers! Question number 15: Who is your favorite musical artist?
RS: I like Kendrick Lamar. His sound is so iconic, and he has different voices that he uses to convey different emotions and it really changes the tone and tempo of his music. I truly believe he is the greatest rapper of all time.
AB: My all time favorite musical artist is a tough one. I think it has to be the Beatles. They really are the perfect musical group, and music would not be the same without them. They have so many top albums and I'm always listening to different stuff by them.
Ricardo Kendrick is a great choice too, he's awesome
RS: The Beatles are definitely iconic.
RT: Question 16 for our contestants: Which NSFL team would you like to be on if not the Hawks?
RS: Now, Rony, as you know, Francois Lamoreaux and I are great friends, as French and Spanish are not very much unlike each other. So I'd like to go to the Wraiths, as much as it may disgust my friend Avon Blocksdale to hear
AB: that is absolutely disgusting to hear Ricardo. I would say that it would be amazing to be play for Arizona obviously. They have an incredible infrastructure, and their GMs are really on top of their shit.
RS: Avon, you have always been a front runner, 1 on 1 outside, right now
RT: Well folks, we may see this be taken outside now
AB: I actually don't hate the Wraiths (except for full on baby scrub Francois Lamoreaux) but no way could you choose a conference rival
RS: true
RT: Aw they've resolved their differences
audience groans
RT: Question 17: Which DSFL team is your favorite?
AB: My least favorite team is EASILY the Chicago Blues, those dudes turned me down to help GM them, a decision they will come to regret. My favorite team is probably the Luchadores since fellow Hawk Sleepy is the co-GM there
RS: I think the best team by far is the Blues
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Just kidding, the Blues are being run into the ground, Coyotes all the way
RT: Who in the league would you want to have sex with the most?
RS: I'd like to have sex with Alexandra Jones. Actually, I did, and you can read about it in my latest PT on Football Wives, the show! Reader's Discretion is advised
AB: I would say that if I had to have sex with someone in the league, it would have to be Alexandra Jones, GM of the Blues since, even though she didn't hire me, appears to be a very attractive woman
AYYOO RICKY
look at us
teammates think alike
RS: Gotta get dat puzzy somehow, huh?
RT: Question 19: What is your opinion on crab cakes?
RS: Well, Owen Taylor (@manicmav36) I love you, but they're shit. Just the worst seafood. Hush puppies are better, and they don't even have seafood in them
AB: I fricken love crab cakes. One of the best parts of playing in Baltimore is getting incredible crab cakes. I like the ones that have much more real crab in it. Not big into ones with a lot of Mayo, but I love crab cakes and especially crab cake sandwiches
RS: Man, Avon, fuck crabcakes, you know that?
AB: Ricky what can I say, I'm a crab cake guy
RS: Beefcakes are better
RT: Wellllllll this is getting a tad off track
Question 20: Why should someone pick you as a partner?
RS: *looks at the camera*. Because I fuck. Hard
AB: I'm the most lovable guy on the Hawks, heck I just wrote about how I'm dating TWINS. TWINS. AT THE SAME TIME. I'm the greatest
RT: Thank you for our contestant, and now it is up to YOU, the NSFL, to decide our winner. Polls close on Friday. Good NIGHT!!
2,467 words - 40% to me, 40% to @cosbornballboy 20% to @ItsJustBarry
GRADED
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