Well as you may already be aware I have a long and varied career already under my belt before I decided to play football. I have been an intergalactic pirate, confidence trickster, cocktail inventor and of course part time galactic president. Now I have already written a series of memoirs on my life which have been broadcast very successfully on the sub ether network (not that you could pick that up here on such a primitive planet). I guess I could get those done here on earth for something like audible. I imagine I would have to get that fine oscar winning actor Sam Rockwell to play myself. As for whether I will do one for my football career once it is all over I guess I could, the problem is I have done so many amazing and groovy things in my life that no matter my success in the ISFL it will pail in comparison.
This isn't my dream! I don't even like to read, and I tell others it's a waste of time. I don't want to publish no damn book. But they tell me it will bring me a big profit, so I'm about it. That's the dream! Making money! Being famous! If sitting down with some author dude to make a few mills I guess I'll do it. It's sure to be a smash hit since I'm a 2-time Ultimus Champion, an Ultimini Champ, #2 overall draft pick, and one of the best safeties to ever play this game. This book or whatever will sell out fast. I'll probably spend a small bit of time talking about my upbringing, playing college ball, then in the DSFL, but then I'll get into how awesome I am and how much money I have and all the celebrities I party with. This book will make anyone that reads it wish they were me. I guess I need to say "coming to a bookstore near you."
Even through his tough exterior, Bender has always had a soft spot for kids. After being asked to write a book, he decided to finally write down the story that has been rattling around the back of his mind. I present to you: The Caterpillar that Learned to Fly.
There once was a caterpillar who wanted to fly. But he didn't want to work for it like a sucker. One day he noticed his friend Mr. Ant always collecting and stockpiling food. Bender thought to himself, "Wouldn't it be nice if all that food was mine? Then I could grow into a beautiful butterfly and fly away!" So one day while Mr. Ant was out foraging, the caterpillar ambushed him with a crowbar and broke 4 of his six legs. He proceeded to take and eat all of the ant's stockpiled food. The caterpillar went on to become a beautiful butterfly and flew around the world living his dreams. Moral of the story is don't be like the sucker Mr. Ant and work for a living; be like the caterpillar and take what you want from the suckers. Code: 186 words -------------------
A publisher has decided to publish a book about Zayne Dangle. As exciting as that sounds, it is a rather boring story featuring scifi and laser swords. The public loves the book and even the movies had a good reception though. In the book a young Dangle is discovered by a group of do-gooders who wield these laser swords and claim he might be the chosen one who will save them all. There junkyard vehicle races and a lot of fighting. Eventually the evil laser sword guys come and try to kill all the do-gooders. Past that everyone flies around in spaceships and there is a bunch of fighting with laser swords. Eventually Dangle learns to fight with a laser sword. Then he falls in love, gets his heart broken, and becomes an evil laser sword wielder who destroys entire planets and takes over the world. It is really as boring as it sounds. The people loved it though.
Code: 159 Words Zayne Dangle | Wide Receiver | Berlin Fire Salamanders
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There is only one type of book that is appropriate to write once you have been transformed into a vegetable, and that is a cook book. Thankfully I have been approached by a famous publisher to do just that. I plan on writing recipes to feature a variety of grains, starches, meats and cheeses, not to mention fruits and legumes. I am thinking of having a whole section dedicated to appetizers and one for desserts as well. I might reach out to any number of famous celebrities I have become acquainted with over the years during my rise in the ISFL and have them write a little blurb about how delicious some of my dishes are and we could put in some "candid" photos of us eating the food together, maybe even sharing a nice glass of wine. The only thing that will not be featured in the book will be the cooking of vegetables.
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