As this is my last season before retirement I think I should use my final Copperheads pay check for something to give back to the team for all the wonderful years they have given me. In past years I have used the money i earned for myself in buying thing such as new and exotic gardening supplies or many wonderful antique things that remind me of years gone by. But as I need to get something for the team instead I though what better to celebrate my last season than to buy everyone on the team there own pet owl. I know they all get very excited to watch the Superb Owl so I thought that this gesture is something that all my teammates would really apricate, maybe one with enough training their owl could win the superb owl who knows. For some reason people aren't as happ with this as I thought, I have no idea why?
The Arizona Outlaws are WASTING all their cap money this season. GMs Crunk and Z-Whiz have gone mad! Signing BUMS like Wendell Sailor to a four million dollar per year contract is crazy! Worst of all, that contract will last until Season 42!!! What a waste of money! That loser couldn't even win any awards last season! He completely fell apart down the stretch and looked like a total bust of a draft pick. Worst of all, he continued Arizona's history of QBs playing horribly in the playoffs. So that's four million dollars straight down the drain by the GMs. On the bright side, our GMs have made some much better signings recently. Kotoni "I hate the Sabercats" Staggs has been immense for the Outlaws and is very worth her four million dollars per year. Likewise, Quinton Crash was recently signed in free agency at five million dollars per year and has been very good this season, showing that maybe our GMs do make some good decisions occasionally
03-12-2022, 09:50 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-13-2022, 03:44 PM by ComebackZak. Edited 1 time in total.)
Have you ever heard of a vampire hunter? You know, like Abraham Van Hellsing, Blade or Abraham Lincoln?
Well, that's what I need to get for myself. You see, I know that I won't be able to become my true self until the life force stops being sucked from my body be the bad-breathed vampire that is @Kotasa. You may say vampires aren't real, which is what somebody who isn't paying any attention would say. You could even say there's no such thing as vampire hunters, and that may be true. So far, no luck in paying for the time machine to bring Abraham Lincoln to help me, and Wesley Snipes won't return my calls for some reason. And I know he needs the money. So what to do then, with all this cash, and just one thing to do with it? Easy. I am arming myself. That's right, this year I'm going on the offensive. Kotasa thinks he's won. He thinks he can just take the soul from my body and leave me a lifeless husk. Well he has another thing coming to him when I show up equipped with all the stakes, the garlic -- even though his breath smells like he's never eaten anything else in his life and doesn't own a toothbrush -- and any other object to fight the evil paranormal monsters that be. I will also grab whatever toothpaste and toothbrush is recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists. The war has begun, and while you may all be skeptics, I am going to save you from the evil that has been wrought upon this world. I promise you, salvation is coming.
With a new season beginning in a new city for Dax Dangerfield, it's time for him to spend that money and get acclimated to life in New York. The first order of business, of course, is to find a new place to live. Although Dax enjoys the glitz and glamour of Manhattan he finds himself really relating to the vibe of Brooklyn as well. Eventually, the perfect place becomes available in Brooklyn Heights and Dax jumps all over it. Next is furnishing the place, and other than the normal necessities (beds, tables, chairs, etc) the biggest expenditure for Dax is his gaming room. We're talking giant televisions on every wall. A crazy sound system. Every console known to man. Once this is all set up Dax can finally feel like he's home. The rest is easy. With his remaining money, Dax plans on eating out at all the best restaurants an international city like New York has to offer. Life in the Big Apple is fantastic.
What an exciting offseason for Dane Johnson! First, the experience of interviewing with so many great GMs across the league was a little nerve-wracking (after all, it's one week to potentially decide your whole future as a pro), but also very enjoyable. Then came draft night. There's always doubts in any player's mind about where he or she belongs in the draft, but the first two rounds came and went and even more doubt crept in. Finally, in the third round the SaberCats pulled the trigger and Dane was officially an ISFL player! The contract negotiations were tough, but Dane was able to sign a three-year deal with one very special clause: when he's officially added to the roster Dane will also have the opportunity to open his very own pancake stand in the stadium!
Dane's House of Pancakes will always serve 100% made-from-scratch buttermilk pancakes. They can be purchased with several mix-ins (check out Dane's favorite: mango chunks and chili flakes!) and served alongside five different maple syrup flavors. Dane took the opportunity to purchase new playing equipment that should keep the on-field pancakes stacking high and has been training hard with his personal training staff, using his earnings to keep everything moving.
as a kicker mostly in the minors, i dont have a lot of money, therefore it is imperative that i am wise with how i spend my contract money and make sure that i am making the proper investments to secure my familys future. i do not make the big bucks. however, what i will do is invest in real estate. get the down payment, get a mortgage, and buy a house. the more housing i am able to get the more i am able to secure my own financial future after a career in football. any left over money i get will be spent in ETF funds so as to invest long term in the stock market. every once in a while when i feel like treating myself after a long field goal attempt gone successful i will get myself a nice ribeye steak to enjoy, maybe if i save enough for a downpayment i can maybe get myself a prius or something.
Some people say spend your money right, and dont be a dumbie. I say those people are funny because I'm going wild with my contract cash. I know im gonna be a solid player for years to come so why would I have to worry? Injury? Nah i'm literally impervious to damage. Losing a step in my game? Wont ever happen, I'm gonna play til im 76. Anyway with that said I bought some solid equipment, put my training money aside, and went and got myself a new bass boat. Down here and Dallas I can fish year round, offseason or not the fish are always biting pretty damn good! Along with that I bought myself a van down by the river. Hard to beat right? Its got a bed and an Xbox and all that Jazz. Plus a mini fridge full of beer. Not much else I can ask for, or afford because I'm in the damn minors.
I can tell you that the best money the (undefeated and conference-leading) Sarasota Sailfish spent this offseason was the 1-year, $5 million free agent deal they handed to veteran cornerback Raeni Clarke, aka @bex. Clarke was Sarasota’s highest-priority free agency target, so there were cheers in the front office when she announced her decision. A Season 28 player, Clarke is at the height of her powers in her final year before regression, and through the first four weeks she’s been nothing short of brilliant! Adding Clarke takes a defense that was already the best in the league and kicks it up a notch. She comfortably fills the gap left in Sarasota’s backfield by the retirement of Harrison Andrews after last season.
After Week 4, Clarke is making an early case for CB of the Year, as she sits tied for the league lead in pass breakups (10) and interceptions (2), and sits 4th among CBs for tackles (27). She’s been a defensive demon and a major factor in the Sailfish’s 4-0 start. Clarke is fully tamperable, and Sarasota might be hard-pressed to retain her services beyond this season, but she’s already providing a massive return on investment. And if one season of Clarke pays off with Sarasota’s second Ultimus in 4 seasons, it’ll be a downright bargain! |
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