On Tuesday, May 29th, at approximately 10:51pm, star Portland Pythons safety and recent Colorado Yeti draftee Nick Sharper (@JaPetFlo) was found dead of an apparent drug overdose. The drug, methenamine, is commonly used to treat urinary tract infections, leading to more questions than answers about how Sharper came to ingest a fatal amount of a drug that does not appear to have recreational side effects.
ESPN reporter and NSFL correspondent Bryce Bother attended Yeti training ahead of their season opener against the Philadelphia Liberty to discuss how the death of their rookie safety has impacted them.
"Who?" Said an unidentifiable player still in helmet and pads.
"Rick Sharper's dead? The waterboy? My god, that's a tragedy... Oh, Nick. Uh, I didn't actually get the chance to meet him. My condolences to the family", said Howard Miller.
A fellow defensive player, who wished to remain anonymous, had this to say about the unusual circumstances surrounding Sharper's death: "Ay man that doesn't surprise me what so ever. Dude had a green dick. I'm not joking - I seen that thing in the showers and it was as green as a Colorado Rehab".
This story was corroborated by a member of the defensive coaching staff, who remarked: "Yeah, it wouldn't surprise me if what [redacted] said was true. I know the guys liked to sing a song about Sharper. It was to the tune of that BASEketball song:
'Watch out rookie, there's a receiver in your lane,
You've got some running backs that you need to hit.
And that infection in your dick ain't gonna go away,
Unless you start using methenamine every day'."
Whatever the truth is around Sharper's tragic death, it seems clear that his presence will be missed in Colorado. If not for his on-field contributions - of which there were none - at least for his pivotal role in practice being enjoyable for the players.
ESPN reporter and NSFL correspondent Bryce Bother attended Yeti training ahead of their season opener against the Philadelphia Liberty to discuss how the death of their rookie safety has impacted them.
"Who?" Said an unidentifiable player still in helmet and pads.
"Rick Sharper's dead? The waterboy? My god, that's a tragedy... Oh, Nick. Uh, I didn't actually get the chance to meet him. My condolences to the family", said Howard Miller.
A fellow defensive player, who wished to remain anonymous, had this to say about the unusual circumstances surrounding Sharper's death: "Ay man that doesn't surprise me what so ever. Dude had a green dick. I'm not joking - I seen that thing in the showers and it was as green as a Colorado Rehab".
This story was corroborated by a member of the defensive coaching staff, who remarked: "Yeah, it wouldn't surprise me if what [redacted] said was true. I know the guys liked to sing a song about Sharper. It was to the tune of that BASEketball song:
'Watch out rookie, there's a receiver in your lane,
You've got some running backs that you need to hit.
And that infection in your dick ain't gonna go away,
Unless you start using methenamine every day'."
Whatever the truth is around Sharper's tragic death, it seems clear that his presence will be missed in Colorado. If not for his on-field contributions - of which there were none - at least for his pivotal role in practice being enjoyable for the players.
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Update Page
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[div align=center][SELECT style="background-color:maroon; color:white; font-family:Arial; font-size: 12px; width: 400px; "][br]
[OPTION]Scott Michaels || Colorado Yeti General Manager || #YetiNoises
[OPTION]Birthplace: Scranton, Pennsylvania
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION] NSFL Regular Season Record
[OPTION] S9: 3 - 1
[OPTION] S10: 9 - 5
[OPTION] S11: 8 - 6
[OPTION] S12: 6 - 8
[OPTION] S13: 8 - 6
[OPTION] Career: 34 - 26 (.567)
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Playoff Record
[OPTION] S9: 0 - 1
[OPTION] S10: 0 - 1
[OPTION] S11: 0 - 1
[OPTION] S12: DNQ
[OPTION] S13: 1 - 1
[OPTION] Career: 1 - 4 (.200)
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION] DSFL Regular Season Record
[OPTION] S8: 10 - 4
[OPTION] S9: 9 - 5
[OPTION] Career: 19 - 9 (.792)
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Playoff Record
[OPTION]S8: 1 - 1
[OPTION]S9 0 - 1
[OPTION] Career: 1 - 2 (.333)
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Accolades
[OPTION]S11 NSFL GM of the Year
[OPTION]S9 DSFL NFCN Division Champions
[OPTION]S8 DSFL NFC Conference Champions
[OPTION]S8 DSFL NFCN Division Champions
[OPTION]===========================================
Update Page
[div align=center][/align]
[div align=center][SELECT style="background-color:maroon; color:white; font-family:Arial; font-size: 12px; width: 400px; "][br]
[OPTION]Scott Michaels || Colorado Yeti General Manager || #YetiNoises
[OPTION]Birthplace: Scranton, Pennsylvania
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION] NSFL Regular Season Record
[OPTION] S9: 3 - 1
[OPTION] S10: 9 - 5
[OPTION] S11: 8 - 6
[OPTION] S12: 6 - 8
[OPTION] S13: 8 - 6
[OPTION] Career: 34 - 26 (.567)
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Playoff Record
[OPTION] S9: 0 - 1
[OPTION] S10: 0 - 1
[OPTION] S11: 0 - 1
[OPTION] S12: DNQ
[OPTION] S13: 1 - 1
[OPTION] Career: 1 - 4 (.200)
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION] DSFL Regular Season Record
[OPTION] S8: 10 - 4
[OPTION] S9: 9 - 5
[OPTION] Career: 19 - 9 (.792)
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Playoff Record
[OPTION]S8: 1 - 1
[OPTION]S9 0 - 1
[OPTION] Career: 1 - 2 (.333)
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Accolades
[OPTION]S11 NSFL GM of the Year
[OPTION]S9 DSFL NFCN Division Champions
[OPTION]S8 DSFL NFC Conference Champions
[OPTION]S8 DSFL NFCN Division Champions
[OPTION]===========================================