[div align=\\\"center\\\"]Sunnycursed Tests FA, Makes Demands
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So, I am a free agent now. I'm expecting phones all over to be ringing, given that I am just such a good player. As being such a prominent player, in fact the 3rd highest TPE player in the league, I feel like I have earned the right to make some demands from any GMs who think they want the world famous Sunnycursed catching passes for you in S17. So here we go:
1) I need to be the guy
Like I said, I'm the 3rd highest TPE player in the league. The highest is a QB, Andrew Reese, who obviously wont be taking my spot, and the second highest is Kazimir Oles, who I will allow to be the #1 option over me. Outside of these two people, I dont want anyone taking my spotlight. Its not selfishness, its status. I earned the right to be a #1 wide receiver. So, GMs, make it happen.
2) Give me the kick and punt returns
I have 100 speed and 100 endurance. There might be some people who are the same as me, but there sure as hell aint no one better than me. If I'm coming to your team, I'm returning all the damn kicks. Write that down in your free agent scouting report
3) I'm only signing a one year deal
I'd love to maybe find a long term home, but this contract I am leaving my options open and want a one year deal from any GM who is considering me as a potential player
4) Terms on playing with Vinny Valentine
Vinny Valentine, in my opinion, robbed me of a well deserved season as the number one wide receiver on the Otters last year. I had the higher TPE levels, and was infinitely more efficient, but he was the one that got listed as first wide receiver thanks to a very selfish clause in his contract. For that reason, I am issuing a statement that I very much do not wish to play with Vinny Valentine next season. If you sign Vinny Valentine to a deal, and wish to sign me as well, I need Valentine to come to me and say that he is totally willing to be the second wide receiver, that he will not ask to encroach on my right as number one wide receiver, that he is much less attractive than me, and that he will run errands for me whenever I need food from the grocery store.
5) Terms on playing with Agency players
On the same topic of Valentine, one of the main reasons I am upset is that his clause, formed thanks to his agency affiliations, robbed me of my rightful #1 WR season, as stated earlier. This selfish clause I believe is the reason we were not able to secure the top overall ranking in the NSFL this season. I also believe that this clause is the reason we lost to the eventual champion Arizona Outlaws, who by the way do not have a single agency player on them. This has very much soured me on playing with agency players. I am also reminded of agency player Dermot Lavelle Jr., son of a scrub player, who made outlandish demands for an unproven player who would end up being drafted 4th overall. His demands undoubtedly hurt his team, who unsurprisingly finished dead last with zero wins, and one of the worst pass defenses and return teams in the league. As a man who wants to win, this leads me to believe that a team with many agency players is not ideal to win. Agency players are on nearly every team, so I cannot avoid teams who have them, but less agency players would make you more attractive to me, and up front I wish to know any agency players that you employ, and wish to be given a run down of what clauses they have in their contract.
6) Looking at test sims would be nice
I wanna know that i'm gonna kill it with this new team, and I wanna make sure this new team kills it with me. If you can have some test sims ready for me so I feel confident signing with your club, it would go a long way.
7) No expansion funny business
I get it, you paid your expansion dues, lost your players, so now everything is back to normal? Not if I can help it. I know a lot of you GMs probably let some guys go in FA with some handshake deals to get them back next year. As a man of high integrity when it comes to this league, that sneaky shit could land you on my no sign list. I get it, it makes sense, but I'm still going to be on the lookout for it, and doing so could send you sliding down my destinations list.
8) Hot dogs are a sandwich
Listen, if you want to sign me, you and your co-GM both have to send me messages, confirming that you believe that a hot dog is, indeed, a sandwich. Failure to comply will result in IMMEDIATE DELETION to my destination list
Thank you for listening to my demands, and I look forward to hearing from you all. I'm out this bitch.
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So, I am a free agent now. I'm expecting phones all over to be ringing, given that I am just such a good player. As being such a prominent player, in fact the 3rd highest TPE player in the league, I feel like I have earned the right to make some demands from any GMs who think they want the world famous Sunnycursed catching passes for you in S17. So here we go:
1) I need to be the guy
Like I said, I'm the 3rd highest TPE player in the league. The highest is a QB, Andrew Reese, who obviously wont be taking my spot, and the second highest is Kazimir Oles, who I will allow to be the #1 option over me. Outside of these two people, I dont want anyone taking my spotlight. Its not selfishness, its status. I earned the right to be a #1 wide receiver. So, GMs, make it happen.
2) Give me the kick and punt returns
I have 100 speed and 100 endurance. There might be some people who are the same as me, but there sure as hell aint no one better than me. If I'm coming to your team, I'm returning all the damn kicks. Write that down in your free agent scouting report
3) I'm only signing a one year deal
I'd love to maybe find a long term home, but this contract I am leaving my options open and want a one year deal from any GM who is considering me as a potential player
4) Terms on playing with Vinny Valentine
Vinny Valentine, in my opinion, robbed me of a well deserved season as the number one wide receiver on the Otters last year. I had the higher TPE levels, and was infinitely more efficient, but he was the one that got listed as first wide receiver thanks to a very selfish clause in his contract. For that reason, I am issuing a statement that I very much do not wish to play with Vinny Valentine next season. If you sign Vinny Valentine to a deal, and wish to sign me as well, I need Valentine to come to me and say that he is totally willing to be the second wide receiver, that he will not ask to encroach on my right as number one wide receiver, that he is much less attractive than me, and that he will run errands for me whenever I need food from the grocery store.
5) Terms on playing with Agency players
On the same topic of Valentine, one of the main reasons I am upset is that his clause, formed thanks to his agency affiliations, robbed me of my rightful #1 WR season, as stated earlier. This selfish clause I believe is the reason we were not able to secure the top overall ranking in the NSFL this season. I also believe that this clause is the reason we lost to the eventual champion Arizona Outlaws, who by the way do not have a single agency player on them. This has very much soured me on playing with agency players. I am also reminded of agency player Dermot Lavelle Jr., son of a scrub player, who made outlandish demands for an unproven player who would end up being drafted 4th overall. His demands undoubtedly hurt his team, who unsurprisingly finished dead last with zero wins, and one of the worst pass defenses and return teams in the league. As a man who wants to win, this leads me to believe that a team with many agency players is not ideal to win. Agency players are on nearly every team, so I cannot avoid teams who have them, but less agency players would make you more attractive to me, and up front I wish to know any agency players that you employ, and wish to be given a run down of what clauses they have in their contract.
6) Looking at test sims would be nice
I wanna know that i'm gonna kill it with this new team, and I wanna make sure this new team kills it with me. If you can have some test sims ready for me so I feel confident signing with your club, it would go a long way.
7) No expansion funny business
I get it, you paid your expansion dues, lost your players, so now everything is back to normal? Not if I can help it. I know a lot of you GMs probably let some guys go in FA with some handshake deals to get them back next year. As a man of high integrity when it comes to this league, that sneaky shit could land you on my no sign list. I get it, it makes sense, but I'm still going to be on the lookout for it, and doing so could send you sliding down my destinations list.
8) Hot dogs are a sandwich
Listen, if you want to sign me, you and your co-GM both have to send me messages, confirming that you believe that a hot dog is, indeed, a sandwich. Failure to comply will result in IMMEDIATE DELETION to my destination list
Thank you for listening to my demands, and I look forward to hearing from you all. I'm out this bitch.