01-30-2020, 11:54 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-03-2020, 09:58 AM by Fordhammer.)
This article aims to provide an account of all the members who have been punished during their time in the league but it is also important to understand that we all make mistakes and truly aren't that different from one another.
Over the past few seasons in the NSFL there has been a growing trend and concern to the amount of cheating and violations that have taken place. This increasingly recent uptick in punishment leads me to wonder how we got here. One could consider how the league has allowed open access to the Head Office to report any suspicions anonymously or not or possibly HO has become more and more thirsty for blood.
Although the source of this problem is not particularly important, there is still the question of how to deal with or punish those individuals who choose to do such an unthinkable heinous act such as tampering or leaking draft selections.
One of the obvious answers would be to doom them to an entire career in either Chicago or San Jose, where they will never flourish. (Only joking don't hate me) The Head Office could keep the status quo of how they deal punishments, which often involve monetary fines, suspensions, and in the worst cases a complete ban from access to the server or with my new brilliant idea
I'd like to think that the league has tasked it's best and most qualified member Lowlycrib (aka Tyron Brackenridge) to determine the best solution but in reality i just like the league history and the backstory behind these events is interesting. After scouring legal textbooks and punishment methods across the globe i've determined that in fact that the creation of a team for players to play out the rest of their careers on would be the fairest and most just form of action.
Ultimately, this article aims to represent the troublemakers in the league in a fun way and to hopefully educate some players that don't know this part of the league's history, so don't take offense to anything i put forth as no harm is intended but feel free to DM me if you want changes.
*Team Information:*
Although this is only an imaginary team based around the punishments in the league it still deserves to be represented with a logo and a uniform to represent the common aspects of any team. So, get ready to meet your Pittsburgh Punishers.
Logo:
Uniforms:
*Roster:*
GM:
-SabaDonutMan
The recently forced out/resigned GM of the Portland Pythons find his way onto the list due to a need for a GM and the way in which his time in Portland ended. Although his activity at times was inconsistent one could expect at least some times that life interferes but he is still a great GM nonetheless and would be an excellent GM for the All-Time Punishment team.
Offense:
QBs:
-Logan Noble (Noble's main)
-Jay Longshaw (dropbear)
-Sam Penner (Pens)
-Luke Boechler (Noble)
One of the names on this list that you will see across this team would be the infamous Noble and the "Cross boys" who ended up being his alts. For the purpose of filling out the team and interest factor i will include the multi's of convicted players. If i had to choose personally who to start on this team of misfits i would be Logan Noble due to his experience as an effective starting quarterback in this league and the infamy attached to the Noble name that still makes me shake in fear. The backups on this team are no slouches either as they all experienced starting time in the DSFL or NSFL but their punishments range from the mundane changing of player pages (Pens) to the issues pertaining to tampering. (dropbear)
RBs:
-Marcella Toriki (Bex)
-Marquise Brown (YoungTB)
-Antonio Summer (Noble)
-Baby Yoda (SwagSloth)
-Jaxson Tuck (Ermurazor)
Yet another name that you will see appear on this team would include Ermurazor who was also punished for having multis. The commotion that really set this idea into motion for me was that of Marcella Toriki due to the removal from the commissioner role in the league for the season. Although we all may have differing opinions, this is not the place to air them but to acknowledge the fact of a superstar running back joining the All-Time Punishment squad would prove deadly against any defense. Swagsloth was another multi creator but came out ahead as he reported it to HO before they found out but still is against the rules, which finds him on this team. YoungTB enters this team with a fairly low crime on the severity index for both of his actions as he both double-claimed TPE off of posts and played an April Fool's Joke by "fake retiring", which honestly isn't that bad in the grand scheme of the league in my own opinion. Putting YoungTB on this team is like placing a guy who stole a can of soup with soup hating serial killers in a dimly lit room but nevertheless he still ends up on this infamous team.
WRs:
-Action Jackson (KillaScrilla)
-Krispy Kreme (Noble)
-Eric Kennedy (SwagSloth)
-Justice Green (YoungTB)
-Sweet James-Jones (SweetJamesJones)
This is one of the strong points of the team in my expert opinion. Action Jackson has not received a formal punishment he has been banned from posting on the forums (for a day, later reduced) and had a few of his posts removed from the forums, which not many members of the league would even know about that speaks to the need for more transparency to issues such as this. One of the most polarizing figures seen of late would include SweetJamesJones who has just capped off his career by being banned from the league, which might be the best way to go it in my opinion. With Logan Noble at the helm with these star-studded WRs i reckon that they could torch any DBs across them, even Brackenridge included.
TE:
Carmel Gibson (SexualEarwax)
Mat Akselsen (Bzerkap) OL/QB
Honestly the worst part of the team and not much to see. Mat Akselsen saw great success at the QB position, he also played offensive line so it makes him the perfect candidate to fill sort of a Taysom Hill-esque type of role for this team. The punishment to Carmel Gibson is the earliest one i could find in the league history and is very vague compared to recent ones so I'm not entirely sure what he did but if someone could educate me thst would be awesome. If any high ranking tight ends want to get punished that would definitely help out my list so please get on that
OL:
Pat Pancake (Ermurazor)
Tim Pest (Ermurazor)
Brokk Lee (Ermurazor)
Bots
If all of these multis were to be active this would be one of the most feared offensive lines in the league due to the inherent weight advantage over the bots. Just a side note but Pat Pancake has to be one of the better names in league history due to the simplicity but the relevance of the name as well. Personally, i am more of a waffle fan but a pancake made right trumps any waffle. I would also like to thank Ermurazor for the sheer amount of multis because without him this team would be much less populated and interesting.
Ultimately, this offense appears to be at least middle of the pack or high powered due to the star peices across the board. If the All-Time Punishment Team were to be an active roster in their prime I'd wager they could finish undefeated with this offense. On the other hand, without the historical players on this roster, the current players placed on a team such as this would finish in the San Jose or Chicago range.
*Defense*
DL:
-Brayden Ennis (Butters)
-Ryan Leaf Jr (Valor)
-Sam Gerard (Noble)
-Eric McStrong (Noble)
-Dick Wizardy (AdamS)
-Jayce Tuck (Ermurazor)
Honestly, this is the strength of the defense without a question. With the likes of Ennis, Leaf Jr., and Wizardry on the line this would be a legendary lineup to trot out any game. The punishments dealt to Brayden Ennis are noted and widely known so I'm going to skip over them, although the sweet money i could make discussing them almost compels me to include them all. Leaf Jr. Much like Ennis has found himself on the wrong side of the tampering pole by contacting CalvinP (A fellow member in the safety gang).
AdamS was also in consideration for the GM role on this team due to the lengthy career he's had in the NSFL but he finds himself on this team due to his draft leak which he explained as "Leaking punishments were created to stop people from ruining the mock drafts fo the NSFL drafts and my crime was telling the #1 pick in the DSFL draft that they were going to my team. It feels like when politicians make completely useless laws so they can say they're tough on crime. It existed to curb unfairly gained TPE from those who had inside info for mock drafts and the DSFL has none of that. Whoever added the DSFL draft to a rule it had absolutely nothing to do with probably patted themself on the back for their completely useless accomplishment which did absolutely zero things to improve the league. I presume that if that person's identity were discovered (and I genuinley do not know who it was) we would also find that they tried to propose something after S8 or so to strip the nonexistance advantages that recreates have." (AdamS)
LB:
-Thudd Kassel (DylanDeluxe)
-KJ Becker (Kendrick)
-Brock Weathers III (BWIII)
-Luke Luechly (Ermurazor)
One of the league's polarizing figures appears on this list in Dylandeluxe and how he came forward with information pertaining to the tampering case with Marcella Toriki, who later went on to become league commissioner. Although he did a great service to the league he went about it the wrong way and incited mass hysteria and anger towards mainly the commissioner herself for unsavory comments in a private server. KJ Becker's punishment was overuled after much discussion with the head office due to the use of uncredited and unauthorized graphics in the league, which is one of the more unique ones thus far. Lastly, BWIII was involved with the late round draft leaks along with AdamS, which honestly was overblown as they lost their entire job salary on the season.
CB:
Slim Dusty (dropbear)
Kevin Cushing (kckolbe)
Emondov Emoji (BWIII)
While we have already discussed dropbear and BWIII, we will discuss kckolbe who was also in the buisness of releasing draft results but under the guise of being an "insider" without any knowledge when in fact that is a blatant lie. An 8 million dollar fine was handed out, which is on the steep end but also acts a great deterrence to releasing information that a large amount of users could profit off of in my own opinion.
S:
-Jorel Tuck (Ermurazor)
-Tristian Tinkler/Ryan Cobalt (Noble)
-Jaylen Storm (Daybe)
-Awkward Sexjoke (AdamS)
Easily one of the better positions on the field to play at (no bias) and the last notable member of the All-Time Punishment team resides here and that is Daybe. Their act had little effect on the league in game but was on the moderation side of the league as another players IP address was leaked by Daybe, which promptly and justifiably resulted in a two season moderation ban and a fine.
K/P
Christiano Ronaldo (Ermurazor)
Not much to say here, he kick ball far and accurate
Lastly, although this defense does not compare to the firepower on offense it still hass a legendary defensive line that will have offensive lines quake in fear. The defensive backs on this time will get the job done while the linebackers just sort of do their thing out there. I would consider putting backup safeties at lineback but HO killed that dream
*Player Thoughts:*
Q1: Any feelings being named to the All-Time Punishment team?
-"I’m the Defense Lineman goat for this team" Buttersquach101
-"This is the proudest accomplishment of my NSFL career." YoungTB
-"I actually forgot I'd been punished for something so I don't know how to feel about it I guess. Not thrilled?" AdamS
"A lot of feelings, certainly. Shame, embarrassment, frustration towards myself to name just a few. This is obviously not the kind of recognition one hopes for. It's another huge reminder of all the people that I've hurt through my actions. At the same time, I think you can look at this sort of roster and see people who have more in common than you might think. A lot of us know that we’ve messed up, and are on the road to trying to be better and make up for our failings. So in that regard, there’s some sliver of a positive to be found in being around people with common goals."
Bex
Q2: Any comments about the punishment/illegal act you committed that the majority of the league wouldn't know?
-"People act like I don’t regret what happened and I endorse it and it is a reason I’ve always been out of General now" Buttersquach101
-"Well it’s a sad time when your freedom of press is taken away by elitist. That’s what basically happened to me as my media was removed instantly because I was speaking the truth about the corruption taking place. Most the league probably doesn’t even know I was punished as there was no announcement and I wasn’t warned or told anything before hand. Just boom, my account was suspended for 12 hours after originally being 2 days." KillaScrilla
-"I feel like the members of HO that handled my case knew this, but the appeal I made to HO via I believe it was Mav was crafted almost entirely by Slm. Had Slm not written that appeal for me I probably would have gotten a much harsher punishment." YoungTB
(Everyone hire Slm for your legal battles and forward the pay straight to me, Brackenridge)
-"For those who don't know, during my single seaons as a DSFL GM I drafted Andrew Reece #! overall. The weekend before the draft broadcast, I was leading a fantasy football draft featuring several people form the elague, including Reece's handler, Swagsloth. I was drunk at the time (because sometimes that's not just a meme) and made a comment about how I was excited to draft him. I realized later what had happened and informed HO of the situation myself." AdamS
"I feel like I’ve said most of what I’ve needed to say in regards to what I did. Deleting evidence is a serious offense and it’s being handled as such. I can’t explain why it happened, but I can reiterate how terrible I feel about it. It is one of my biggest regrets, not just in the league, but in my life." Bex
Q3: Any changes to the current punishment/appeal system you would make?
-"Continue letting gms get a full vote on punishments instead of the same 5 people"
Buttersquach101
-"I feel like the current system we have is the best we've got. We rag on HO for a lot of things, but when it comes down to it, they do their due diligence on this stuff. The only system I might suggest would be open voting on punishments by NSFL users, though I could see that turning ugly real fast." YoungTB
-"Yes. I'd start over. New commitee, new guidelines, new setup. Our current system doesn't really work in my opinion because the appeals might as well not exist. Just for one example, a few seasons ago I as GM asked HO for the proof they had on a decision for the purposes of deciding whether or not to appeal the decision. After HO stated they would provide it. The punishment came and went unaltered while the proof never arrived. This should not happen. This informaiotn was then presented to the head of appeals, who was unhappy about it happening, but really had no options to act." AdamS
-"I think the current system is effective. Head Office looks at our rule book and past cases to reach a decision on how to proceed with punishment, and the one charged is given a chance to appeal should they wish to. Having the appellate committee separate from HO provides an important check on decisions to make sure things are handled fairly." Bex
-Myself i believe that the voting process on both appeals and punishments should be public to the league so that both the punishee and the punisher are held accountable fairly. Lowlycrib
*Stats:*
Most viewed single punishment:
1. "Bex Punishment and NOLA Tampering Accusation" (4,107)
2. "Noble Ruling" (3,066)
3. "Confirmation of Arizona Multis" (2,578)
Most cumulative views (includes appeals):
1. Noble (6,577)
2. Bex (4,107)
3. Buttersquach101 (2,922)
Average punishments per season: 1.6
Highest monetary fine:
1. Noble 10m
2. Kcolbe 8m
T3. Swagsloth 6m
T3. YoungTB 6m