Rose Jenkins Retires

[Jiggly_333]

"It's the end of something I did not want to end
Beginning of hard times to come
But something that was not meant to be is done
And this is the start of what was"

This is it. It's time to say goodbye.

I joined the NSFL in May of 2017. I've given almost three whole years of my life to fake football. I've gone from being an over-eager noob in S1, to a burned out shell by November of that year, and finally to Public Enemy #1 just this past week. Over the course of three careers, I've made three players who will not be remembered, no matter how much I wanted them to be. A running back who wasn't in the meta and retired too soon, a cornerback/wide receiver who only ever sat behind the generational greatness at Orange County, and now a quarterback whose only experience in the game has been failure.

In every single league, no matter how much I try, I just can't make an important player. Even when I lead the league in something, everyone looks elsewhere. As if my self-worth wasn't shattered enough already.

But, I guess there's just not much for me to say about Rosie herself. She was the quarterback of a team in Chicago. I guess that could be enough. But she never truly impressed. No one thinks twice about her.

So I guess now, it's time for me to personally say goodbye.

"How about some credit now
Where credit is due
For the damage that we've done
We have wrought upon ourselves and others"

I am very unsure about recreating. I have a player character all read for me to pull up if I choose yes, but I won't be making the decision now. My experience in this league has truly been a mixed bag. I have met some great people and had what I might say is one of the greatest locker room experiences in that early OCO locker room. I always tried to replicate it, but never could. It was just the perfect storm of a lot of wonderful people. And now I'm just going to tag a bunch of people to thank them:

@timeconsumer
@Jbearly
@Bwestfield
@RedCydranth (You can still get pinged in heaven, right?)
@JBLAZE_THE_BOSS
@Molarpistols
@DrunkenTeddy
@`xdave2456`
@automatic

My horrible brain can't draw up enough memory to remember all the people I want to thank, but know that the first few seasons of OCO was filled with some of the highest quality people. I don't know how I would've survived my first year of college without that locker room.

I think I've always spoken at length about my experience in this league. I've had to explain myself even more recently since certain people decided to take it upon themselves to spread the worst stories about me to the newest people. There are people who I'd never spoken to who have fully formed opinions about me as the worst person in the history of the league.

Fuck it, since I'm leaving, I'll drop some shit on my way out. I've sent two separate harassment reports to HO about Dermot continually harassing me and nothing's been done about it. I haven't been contacted and it's all just continued. I've been around for almost three years and while I've picked up some friends, I've also found people who I just cannot give any time to anymore. Dermot is one of them as well as a few others who I think can recognize who they are.

When you have no outside life due to a complete lack of social skills and an absence of social structure to fall back on, this world becomes your reality. And no matter how unhealthy that is, it's true. And for people to turn that world into a place that hates you, that belittles you at every turn, that just makes your life worse.

And that's why my time here has been a mixed bag. There are good people. Mostly good people. But we let assholes in because we needed active members. And those assholes controlled my happiness. As someone with such a poor self-image, I look for any small bit of validation. As I said, it's very unhealthy. I just want to feel like I'm bringing others happiness, that's why I write, that's why I make music. So when I look out and see a sea of angry faces throwing insults, it hurts me. Even if it's only a few people, it still hurts just as much.

I said in my first "transparency" article that I didn't want to leave without warning because people counted on me. So, I kept myself in this truly abusive relationship with the league. You can ignore the bad all you want, but it's still there waiting for the moment you stumble.

I shouldn't just be talking about negatives. Maybe it's too close to the last incident.

Outside of the people here, the NSFL was basically the place where I first decided to actively pursue making music. I had been writing lyrics in high school, but it wasn't until I posted some of those recordings for @princekyle that I slowly started to want to write more and learn guitar. I've talked about how I'd sit in the VC in the OCO locker room with Marc Spector and just practice guitar with him listening. It's stuff like that that really shows the actual love that I do have for the league.

So, I don't know if this is the end. It might be. I'll still be in the Butchers and OCO locker rooms (yes, I'm still in OCO). I'll take inventory again around the trade deadline. I think that I've seen this league grow up. And no matter what she thinks of me now after the whole "Soviet Yunyun" situation, I still believe that @bex can make this league even better.

I have a tradition from my time as a radio DJ in high school that I'd always start each show with "Burning Down the House" by the Talking Heads and end with "Foundations" by Kate Nash. It has nothing to do with the content of the song, it just sorta became a personal tradition to end things with this song. So, signing off from the National Simulation Football League, I've been Jiggly.

Thank You. <3

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[WannabeFinn]

ight

[timeconsumer]

a quarterback whose only experience in the game has been failure.

Hold my beer...



Seriously though, I get it. Sometimes people in this league can make it way less fun than it should be. Sometimes that person is you, sometimes it's dermot, okay usually it's dermot, but yeah....we should try not to take everything so seriously, but I know first hand how hard that is.

[caltroit_red_flames]

Hold my beer...



Seriously though, I get it. Sometimes people in this league can make it way less fun than it should be. Sometimes that person is you, sometimes it's dermot, okay usually it's dermot, but yeah....we should try not to take everything so seriously, but I know first hand how hard that is.

Name one time when it wasn't dermot I'll wait

[Duilio05]

Really enjoyed the concert you hosted the other week in voice chat. Hope i get a tag if you ever do another one.

[White Cornerback]

No tag , weak

[White Cornerback]

HO show harassment reports, I'm dying to read em, GIVE ME MY DATA ZUCK HO

[Billybolo53]

[iseedoug]

When I came into the league over 2 years ago now, I definitely saw you as a staple of the league. Your commentary during games was enjoyable, you were always an advocate for diversity in the league, etc. We never got to play together, but, in my opinion, you are certainly a valuable member of the league and should recreate.

Also you have like a zillion championships. Your players obviously played some role in those.

[automatic]

@Jiggly_333

I wouldn’t dwell on being the star too much - the otters were built on solid players, locker room engagement, and knowledgeable players. Any of these three aspects is difficult to build from just one person.

I’m fairly sure you didn’t make a post looking for answers to your life’s problems, however I’m too far isolated nsfl to add any other content so here goes:

Block/dodge toxic people from your life. It’s a big world out there, and nsfl is a tiny portion of it.

Best way work on social skills is to practice, and you can only really get so far online. Preferably with ppl you enjoy irl.

Maybe try and find out ppl around you who have similar tastes in music and join a band?