08-03-2020, 07:27 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-07-2020, 12:51 PM by Fordhammer.)
Happy draft week fellow DSFL football players!
In celebration of draft week I’ll be applying my expert analysis to the S25 draft prospects. Now, I don’t plan on writing 49 pages of analysis like katarn, but I’ll be talking about who I feel are the best picks at each position. So let’s get underway!
Quarterback:
For the next up and coming superstar quarterback, I’m rolling with Bill Brasky. This guy seems to be the only one that allocated his TPE based on his chosen archetype. As a pocket passer, Brasky is sporting a cannon with 70 ARM strength coupled with a THROWING ACCURACY of 70. What really sets Brasky apart for me though, is that he has the highest INT level out of all the prospects at 71. Not to mention, he was evidently recruited by Jethro Tull. Rip that flute solo buddy.
Runningback:
When it comes to runningbacks, the Speed Back archetype appears to be the most popular this year. Of the small handful of prospects, no on out matches King Tutankhamun and his SPEED stat of 82. Even with such high speed, Kinky Tut is still able to maintain decent STR and END stats. I wasn’t even aware the Nile had a state university,… or states. Go Kink man go.
Wide Receiver:
Now, at the time of writing this article there were a whopping sixteen prospects for wide receiver. Everyone wants to be a star. Since there are so many of you, I’ll pick two prospects. Look, I get it. When it comes to being a receiver speed is king. However, if you don’t have the hands to catch the damn ball, you’ll be first to the finish line empty handed. First up I’ve got Harley Fank. With a SPEED of 80 and HANDS at 70, this was an easy choice for me. A similar prospect was Alex Reed with a SPEED of 77 and HANDS at 69. Go pluck some balls you pluckers.
Tight End:
Wow, eleven tight ends? I didn’t think this position was that popular. When I think of tight ends, I think of one thing: super fit asses. Cmon Skiuuup has the best one. He also has the stat trifecta of STRENGTH, SPEED, and HANDS, respectively of which are at 55, 65, and 60. All of these skills being boosted will allow Skiuuup to be a multi-use ASSet wherever he may wind up.
Offensive Line:
Holy moly SEVENTEEN offensive linemen prospects. That is A LOT of thiccc-ness. Marlon Alexander seems to be the obvious winner here. He’s the biggest, the funniest, the cutest, and I hear he has amazing hair. I would honestly be super duper surprised if he didn’t go in the first few rounds. I hear he’s really active in the London Royals locker room. Sylphreni should really not let this opportunity slide. Oh and idk something about stats… uh… Marlon Alexander has them.
Defensive End:
Dang another loaded position in the draft. So many choices. I GUESS I will widdle it down to just two. Hmm, I think I’m going to have to go with Etrigan T. Slayer and Vick Vinegar. Slayer is the strongest defensive end boasting a whopping 76 stat. Vinegar is not far behind with a STR of 74. Both also show comparable aptitude in SPEED and TACKLING stats. Now I’m not sure how exactly it will play out during game time, but Slayer also went to Merlin’s College of the Mystic Arts. Bruh that mf knows MAGIC.
Defensive Tackle:
Oh finally, a smaller position class. Okay so if you’ve read this far, you’ve probably figured out that I don’t exactly know that much about football or stat analysis or any of that crap. Anyways, LeDavious Davis has the highest TACKLING stat out of any of the prospects at 65. Like, it wasn’t even close. Now, I’m no mathemagician, but I think tackling might be important for defensive tackles.
Linebacker:
Okay seriously what the heck. EIGHTEEN LINEBACKERS? Alright well the best one is obviously Donald McBobby. The dude is a tank with a STR stat of 76. The next highest out of all of the prospects is 70. That’s a hell of an advantage if I’ve ever seen one. Good luck you big, beautiful Bobby. I don’t know what made you go to Connecticut but like, welcome back to civilization.
Cornerback:
SPEED is definitely going to be the bread winner for any cornerback in this league. Of all the prospects, Dukburg QuakStak and Curtis Blackshear are the top dogs (or duck?). QuakStak has a SPEED stat of 81, and Blackshear is right behind him with a SPEED of 78. I don’t really care about the other stats. Wide receivers are going to dread lining up against these dude, especially if they can’t even out run them.
Safety:
When I think of top safety prospects, I think two things are important: STR and SPEED. When I draft a safety, I want the to be all over the field, able to catch any receiver, and to be able to seal the deal when they get there. Two guys do this for me: Davriel Lavigne and Brian Nelson. Lavigne has a STR score of 75 and a SPEED of 80, while Nelson has a STR of 55 and a SPEED of 70. These guys check off both needs in my book.
Kicker/Punter:
Oh wow, only two prospects. I almost don’t want to pick either one and just have these guys duke it out in Pokemon battle fashion. I mean they even have the exact same Kicking Power and Kicking Accuracy stats at 74 and 72 respectively. Someone should break the tie by putting one point into run blocking for punt returners. Nothing like having the punter save the day by being the last line of defense.
Anyways that’s all I’ve got. I don’t actually know which stats are important for each position and which are not; I just sort of guessed. Regardless, thanks for reading! We’ll see who goes where in just a few more days!
In celebration of draft week I’ll be applying my expert analysis to the S25 draft prospects. Now, I don’t plan on writing 49 pages of analysis like katarn, but I’ll be talking about who I feel are the best picks at each position. So let’s get underway!
Quarterback:
For the next up and coming superstar quarterback, I’m rolling with Bill Brasky. This guy seems to be the only one that allocated his TPE based on his chosen archetype. As a pocket passer, Brasky is sporting a cannon with 70 ARM strength coupled with a THROWING ACCURACY of 70. What really sets Brasky apart for me though, is that he has the highest INT level out of all the prospects at 71. Not to mention, he was evidently recruited by Jethro Tull. Rip that flute solo buddy.
Runningback:
When it comes to runningbacks, the Speed Back archetype appears to be the most popular this year. Of the small handful of prospects, no on out matches King Tutankhamun and his SPEED stat of 82. Even with such high speed, Kinky Tut is still able to maintain decent STR and END stats. I wasn’t even aware the Nile had a state university,… or states. Go Kink man go.
Wide Receiver:
Now, at the time of writing this article there were a whopping sixteen prospects for wide receiver. Everyone wants to be a star. Since there are so many of you, I’ll pick two prospects. Look, I get it. When it comes to being a receiver speed is king. However, if you don’t have the hands to catch the damn ball, you’ll be first to the finish line empty handed. First up I’ve got Harley Fank. With a SPEED of 80 and HANDS at 70, this was an easy choice for me. A similar prospect was Alex Reed with a SPEED of 77 and HANDS at 69. Go pluck some balls you pluckers.
Tight End:
Wow, eleven tight ends? I didn’t think this position was that popular. When I think of tight ends, I think of one thing: super fit asses. Cmon Skiuuup has the best one. He also has the stat trifecta of STRENGTH, SPEED, and HANDS, respectively of which are at 55, 65, and 60. All of these skills being boosted will allow Skiuuup to be a multi-use ASSet wherever he may wind up.
Offensive Line:
Holy moly SEVENTEEN offensive linemen prospects. That is A LOT of thiccc-ness. Marlon Alexander seems to be the obvious winner here. He’s the biggest, the funniest, the cutest, and I hear he has amazing hair. I would honestly be super duper surprised if he didn’t go in the first few rounds. I hear he’s really active in the London Royals locker room. Sylphreni should really not let this opportunity slide. Oh and idk something about stats… uh… Marlon Alexander has them.
Defensive End:
Dang another loaded position in the draft. So many choices. I GUESS I will widdle it down to just two. Hmm, I think I’m going to have to go with Etrigan T. Slayer and Vick Vinegar. Slayer is the strongest defensive end boasting a whopping 76 stat. Vinegar is not far behind with a STR of 74. Both also show comparable aptitude in SPEED and TACKLING stats. Now I’m not sure how exactly it will play out during game time, but Slayer also went to Merlin’s College of the Mystic Arts. Bruh that mf knows MAGIC.
Defensive Tackle:
Oh finally, a smaller position class. Okay so if you’ve read this far, you’ve probably figured out that I don’t exactly know that much about football or stat analysis or any of that crap. Anyways, LeDavious Davis has the highest TACKLING stat out of any of the prospects at 65. Like, it wasn’t even close. Now, I’m no mathemagician, but I think tackling might be important for defensive tackles.
Linebacker:
Okay seriously what the heck. EIGHTEEN LINEBACKERS? Alright well the best one is obviously Donald McBobby. The dude is a tank with a STR stat of 76. The next highest out of all of the prospects is 70. That’s a hell of an advantage if I’ve ever seen one. Good luck you big, beautiful Bobby. I don’t know what made you go to Connecticut but like, welcome back to civilization.
Cornerback:
SPEED is definitely going to be the bread winner for any cornerback in this league. Of all the prospects, Dukburg QuakStak and Curtis Blackshear are the top dogs (or duck?). QuakStak has a SPEED stat of 81, and Blackshear is right behind him with a SPEED of 78. I don’t really care about the other stats. Wide receivers are going to dread lining up against these dude, especially if they can’t even out run them.
Safety:
When I think of top safety prospects, I think two things are important: STR and SPEED. When I draft a safety, I want the to be all over the field, able to catch any receiver, and to be able to seal the deal when they get there. Two guys do this for me: Davriel Lavigne and Brian Nelson. Lavigne has a STR score of 75 and a SPEED of 80, while Nelson has a STR of 55 and a SPEED of 70. These guys check off both needs in my book.
Kicker/Punter:
Oh wow, only two prospects. I almost don’t want to pick either one and just have these guys duke it out in Pokemon battle fashion. I mean they even have the exact same Kicking Power and Kicking Accuracy stats at 74 and 72 respectively. Someone should break the tie by putting one point into run blocking for punt returners. Nothing like having the punter save the day by being the last line of defense.
Anyways that’s all I’ve got. I don’t actually know which stats are important for each position and which are not; I just sort of guessed. Regardless, thanks for reading! We’ll see who goes where in just a few more days!