(S26) Ultimus Week

[nunccoepi]

HO UW Pass

[treant]

Task 8!

My player, James Wilkinson is a rookie Tight End playing for the Bondi Beach Buccaneers in the DSFL. He is waiting for his chance to come to be drafted to the ISFL this season and he has had a journey to get to where he is that has not always been so easy, but he has always worked hard and thought positively!

James was born in the city of Durham in the state of North Carolina. James had been in love with playing football for as long as he could remember and he had dreamed of having the chance to play football for his favourite team, the Clemson Tigers ever since he was very young! He carried this dream with him for a long time and worked as hard as he could while he was in High School to make his dream come true but things did not work out. Clemson did not offer James a place at their school but that wasn't going to be enough to make him give up on his dream!

He took a place to play at North Carolina State University and while he was there he made sure that he was the hardest working player at training so that when the time came he would show Clemson that they had made a mistake by not giving him a scholarship. After he had the chance to transfer and play football at Clemson he was soon on the road to making himself known as a great professional player, and he had the chance to be apart of the S26 DSFL Draft Class!

James had worked hard before the draft had taken place to try and make sure that as many teams as possible knew who he was and it paid off! He was drafted in the second round by the Bondi Beach Buccaneers, which meant that James was going to be spending the season playing the sport he loved but in an exciting new place!

James was very proud of the fact that he had been able to make himself a second round pick and he made sure to keep working hard all season to show the team that they had made a good decision and also to show the scouts in the ISFL that he was the type of player who was always trying to get better! There is not much time left in the season now and James will be playing in his first playoff games in the DSFL and also will be drafted to the ISFL! He has had an exciting journey so far and there is still a lot of fun for him to still have and it will be exciting to see the way that the next chapter is going to work out!

Total word count: 462 words




Task 18!

The main sim league that I have been a member of for some time is the Simulation Hockey League, known as the SHL. I originally became a member of the SHL in January 2016, so 5 years has passed already! In the time since I became a member of the league I have had a few players and the main thing that I have been able to enjoy is following the community that the league has built with its members! When you have been a part of it for as long as I have it is nice to be able to still see so many usernames that you recognise and be able to follow the way that the league has changed since the day that I joined! The most interesting thing of all for me to see today is the effect that the new simulation engine that the league uses has changed things. Being able to watch games broadcast live via YouTube has been a lot of fun for me to see and I have enjoyed every minute of the games that I have been able to watch! I hope that the league will continue to grow and it should be a great place to spend time for all its members for a long time!

Total word count: 216 words




Task 21!

Because I am a member who has not had the chance to play for an ISFL team I will not try to offend any teams that might want to draft me so I will be talking about the DSFL team that I think has the best branding instead!

The team that I think has the best branding in the DSFL is the team that I play for! I love the logo that the Bondi Beach Buccaneers are using, it is very detailed and it really looks great! I like the colours that the team uses too and I was very happy that I was able to be drafted by a team that has such a strong look!

I will apologise to the team that I think has the worst branding in the league because I still think it looks good, but the team that is last place for me is the Norfolk Seawolves!

I like the team name and the brand that the Seawolves have but the thing that is not as strong is the logo that they are using. I do not think it is very high quality and it lets them down I think. If they changed it them they would have a great brand overall I would say!

Total word count: 211 words!

[Leafs4ever]

Task 20:

I walked into the Liberty locker room and couldn't believe my eyes. There was a waiting list to see the team doctors. Whatever happened over the weekend has gutted our team and we are down more than a few bodies. I ran into the head coach and he had to sit me down for a quick chat about the upcoming game. Turns out, we're way more shorthanded than I thought and I'm going to have to do something completely crazy, play out of position and take a turn on defense.

A little while back, there was an error in our roster sheet that resulted in me having to play Defensive Tackle for a game. I actually put up some actual stats in that game and I guess the coach took note because I'm now going to have to reprise my role as a Defensive Tackle because we are fresh out of DTs because of injury. I have a few skills that actually translate well to the position. My strength, agility, and intelligence help me push through and avoid the offensive line and find the best path to the quarterback. The combination of power and foot work is deadly for a defensive tackle and I really think having those skills already in my arsenal is going to help me be as successful as a quarterback can be at playing on defense. It's not ideal, but at least I'm not completely blind in this situation. Hoping for the best, expecting the worst.

(250 words)

Task 21:

With 14 teams in the ISFL there are a ton of team brandings for fans to sink their teeth into. There's something for everyone and you can get into a really spirited debate talking about the best brandings or even the worst brandings. Lucky for you, I'm here to talk about both. I love the uniqueness of the ISFL teams, but of course there are some better than others and some that needs to be sent back to the design lab.

Let's start with the best brandings in the ISFL. My favourite branding right now belongs to the Yellowknife Wraiths. First off, the team name is very unique and just a really cool mascot. Next, the logo is super cool and one anyone would love to rep on merchandise. The skull/death look is always in fashion. Lastly, they absolutely nailed the colour scheme. Blue and Black is the best colour combo and picked such an awesome shade of blue, it's just beauty all around. Another branding that has caught my eye is the newly created New York Silverbacks. I love the name and the logo is nice as well. The colour scheme is solid too, as the silver and green look great together. The expansion team nailed it.

Now, let's finish with the one team that I think needs a refresh. That would be the Baltimore Hawks. While yellow is a fine colour, it just looks off on their branding. It's dull and lacks imagination. They also need to go back and redesign that logo. They can do so much better than the current Hawks head they have. It looks messy and really needs to be cleaned up.

The rest of the league is OK, but it never hurts to bring a refresh and create a spark for the team and their fans. Overall, though, the ISFL has some solid branding.

(312 words)

Task 26:

We finally made it to the end of 2020. To say it's been a challenging year would be a gross understatement. We've all been through some tough times, which is why I think we're all happy to finally see the year end and 2021 begin. As with every new year, we must talk about new year's resolutions. There are common ones, like lose weight, read more, and get more active, but I'm going to try something different.

To say my career has been a disappointment would be too generous. Ever since I entered the ISFL it's been mediocre season after mediocre season. I've accomplished nothing on the field and haven't lead my Liberty to anything of note. We made the playoffs once in my whole career and it lasted one game. I've been hard on myself and really affected my mental health. So that's why my new year's resolution is simple. I'm going to enjoy the final seasons of my career and just accept the results as they come. I'm not going to stress every performance because there's just no point. I've only got one or two seasons left and I want to at least enjoy something before my career is done. I'm still going to work my ass off, but I'm done with putting expectations on my shoulders because clearly I can't reach those expectations. I'm just going to go out and try to have fun playing football again and find the joy in the game that I had when I first started out.

(255 words)

Task 28:

The ISFL is finally moving to a new sin engine and honestly, it's about time. The current engine has been fine and it's not completely broken or anything, but it has hindered a lot of player development and because of that we really needed to jump ship. It became too stale creating players because it became clear that only a few player builds were viable in the sim. Speed was king no matter what position so it really watered down the type of players that you could make.

There's been a lot of good things said about the new sim engine, but most important is that different player builds can all be effective if done right. No longer are you stuck having to make a speed receiver or mobile quarterback or any other position with high speed. With the new archetypes released there are a ton of very different players you can build and that is exciting for me. It's been disappointing in the current sim for me because I wanted to create a big throwing QB, but it just didn't work. I had to change my build to become just like the other quarterbacks and become a runner. Now, it sounds like all the quarterbacks can be effective and I can't wait to actually build my player the way I wanted him to play. To me that is the thing that I'm most excited about for the new sim engine.

(241 words)

[StadiumGambler]

17) You’re in charge of entertainment for the Ultimus or Ultimini half-time show. What would you do?

Well much like the NFL counterpart, I feel we need someone that the music industry actively promotes as being good that isn't really that good, in order to produce an un-entertaining halftime show that tries to cater to other demographics instead of the loyal target one that matters. After roughly forty minutes of research, I think The 1975 is the right band for the job. I've listened to two songs and they sound a bit like U2, so they're off to a great start in terms of being subpar. Plus they're British, and the ISFL desperately needs to break into those foreign markets to SPREAD THE GAME~! while places like Seattle go team-less.

Also, we need a meme mascot dancing based on the legendary alternate timeline Left Shark from Katy Perry. I feel accidental pedobear would not be a bad idea here, but perhaps a more subtle approach is needed. Perhaps a drunken Haluhua mascot would be apropos after the team's miserable 3-13 season?

Also, the field conditions need to be made as miserable as possible by the stages and props and such, leaving some nice gouges in the turf in order to maximise grisly player injuries and crowd entertainment for such a spectacle of a game.

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18) Write about another sim league you are in and which parts of it you enjoy. If you are only in the ISFL, write about your ideas for a sim league with another sport.

I'm actually a veteran of two sim leagues. I'm in the Simulation Hockey League as Nick Brain, an experienced British forward drafted 11th overall in the SHL's iconic Season 46 class by the Winnipeg Jets, who I intend to be a one-club guy for. In the SHL I've had an up and down time, to say the least. On one hand, I've been in some great LRs with great people, and done some cool media projects on site, like breaking down a sim-blessed team's use of Gameshark, or importing a bunch of prospects into a hacked NHL 94 for Genesis ROM and doing an all-star game. On the other hand, I had a fairly disastrous GM tenure that set the team back big time, although some of it was circumstances outside my control such as sims, some of it was short-sighted trades going for the quick glory instead of the long haul.

I also was in the Simulation Basketball Association as Gerald Eddy, a Shooting Guard who was property of 7 teams in 9 years. I was considered a respected journeyman there who would be missed by the league upon retirement, and I had a good time mingling with a lot of the users on the general league Discord, learning a bit about basketball and talking about stuff. I had fun writing a few really good articles for the site (although the 500 word count was a bit much.). I don't intend to hit that league up again due to word requirements but I got what I wanted out of the league: my first ever ring at a pro level in sim sports. Heres to hopefully another in the DSFL!

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20) Pretend injuries are a thing in the ISFL and your team has had a lot of them lately – so many that your GM has asked you to play out of position. What position are they asking you to play and what about your player build will help you succeed in this role?

While Spence is not on an ISFL or DSFL team yet, he'd step up in case of injuries for a couple positions. Ostensibly a wide receiver, Spence can act as a Tight End in certain spots. While his blocking and strength are not up to starting Tight End caliber, Spence has the size and speed to be a bit of a matchup problem for certain linebackers and safeties, and has good enough leaping ability and body control to catch the ball in awkward places.

Spence could also put in a shift at Running Back. While not a traditional RB in terms of build or speed, Spence has some power, tackle breaking ability, and enough common sense to hit the holes the offensive line gives him. Spence is sent out on occasion to run the reverse play in his old college and semi pro teams, and does it to reasonable effect. Spence could be good enough at Running Back to keep defenses honest, and can also be used to great effect as a receiver out of the backfield on 3rd down.

Spence could also fill in for an injured Kick Returner if needed. While Spence does lack the top line speed, he can break some tackles, and has the proper enthusiasm that you look for in a special teams player.

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25) How or where would you celebrate with your teammates after winning an Ultimus or Ultimini?

Well for Saleem Spence, the first stop of the night would be an ethnic food place. Saleem's parents tried to give him a taste of culture every now and then with some South African home cooking, and so Saleem would scour whatever city he was in for some good Potjiekos, an ethnic meat and vegetable stew reliant on minimal stirring in order to create flavour differentiation between the top and bottom parts of the pot (Vegetables up top, meat down below).

Next up, Saleem would hit up the local nightclub and get some bottle service going, while eating some fries or whatever bar food said club would serve. Spence isn't partial to hard liquor or vodka, but enjoys a good beer every now and then, and would order some artsy looking craft lager beer with subtle caramel flavouring, or whatever the typical alcohol snobs order these days.

With Saleem drinking less than the others, he would be designated driver, and would make a quick stopover at a loaded convenience store to pick up some Sharpies and other stuff before dropping his friends off at a hotel, where they would promptly be drawn on big time with Sharpies, and perhaps given a shaving cream goatee and some shaving cream in their shoes. Saleem would then retreat to his hotel room giggling and call it a night.

[Mavfatha]

18) Write about another sim league you are in and which parts of it you enjoy. If you are only in the ISFL, write about your ideas for a sim league with another sport.

I am in 2 other sim leagues (RIP GRSL and NSHL) - the PBE and SHL. PBE was my entry into (or technically my re-entry into - I was in sim leagues many moons ago before the advent of discord made everything so much easier) sim leagues. I think it has the best simulation engine of these three at least by leaps and bounds, as OOTP makes testing builds or matchups almost trivially easy and it allows for a fairly wide range of viable archetypes even though everyone is so hyped to find the best possible option at all times. I also certainly enjoy getting 3 TPE for each activity check, and the appropriate pay for the crazy demanding position of GM which has always been underpaid in my opinion in leagues like SHL in particular. Finally, I appreciate their shorter word count for championship week/Ultimus week tasks, as in PBE I would be done with this prompt by now. Anyways... moving on to SHL briefly, their new sim engine has certainly upped my interest in player building there (which I think ISFL is catching up in now as well for the record). Really I think all of these leagues are great and it kinda comes down to preference of sport as to which people will prefer - I am a baseball and football guy so the PBE and ISFL have been solid fits for me, whereas SHL I just try to build like a Bash Brother from the Mighty Ducks.

20) Pretend injuries are a thing in the ISFL and your team has had a lot of them lately – so many that your GM has asked you to play out of position. What position are they asking you to play and what about your player build will help you succeed in this role?

Baby Yoda was a bit too tuckered from all of his adventures with Papa Mando to be able to play this week, so Icebox was called into duty as a "change of pace" running back - in this case of course, his pace was very very slow. Still, I've gotta think that it would be tough to bring down the big fella thanks to his high strength rating. Additionally, assuming he could actually get to the defenders in time he would easily be the best pass protection running back in the history of football. Worst case, assuming he could actually hang on to the ball at all with his abysmal hand skills, he could just bully his way to the line of scrimmage and fall over for a few yards on a regular basis. With his exceptional height for the position, he could also probably just hold the ball above the reach of the defenders in order to not cough it up. He also has the expected endurance and intelligence for the role, and would have as good of a chance of anyone at finding the holes that he could not actually fit through very well. It ain't much, but it's honest work that would be pretty valuable to the team.

22) Your player has been paid to endorse a product/service. What is it? How do you endorse it?

If there's one thing that Icebox is fully familiar with both on and off the field, it's pancakes! Therefore, it would only be natural for him to represent the place that should be obvious already to anyone reading this - the International House of Pancakes aka IHOP! The commercial would start with Icebox sitting down to a large and delicious breakfast at one of many local IHOP's in Chicago. He's scarfing down his pancakes and washing them down with some milk - to build strong bones - and some coffee - to wake up a bit. Other patrons of the restaurant are in awe that a local legend is there and keep tossing him napkins to autograph (maintaining social distance of course) in between his bites. Suddenly, Coach Muford runs into the restaurant - it's almost game time and Icebox has completely forgotten! Not wanting his meal to go to waste, he now has to ignore the adoring fans temporarily to finish up, and rushes (relatively speaking) out the door. However, he has to pause on the way out for a smirk at the camera and one final quip - "Now it's time for seconds". With that, Icebox is ready for the game and to continue racking up a pancake count in a different manner.

28) The league is moving on to a new sim. What do you think about it? Are you excited to leave the old one behind? Maybe not so excited about it? Which parts of it do you think will be great, or not so great?

I'd have to say I'm pretty excited about the new sim. From what I've heard from others more in tune with things, it seems like unless someone has literally nothing else to do in life, nobody will feasibly be able to test matchups or builds. Though I did consider this a positive for PBE, the full converse of nobody really knowing anything also makes things really fresh and interesting. Instead of a lot of cookie cutter builds, we get to experiment with the best combination of attributes to use, and take advantage of other new features as well. Of course I'm talking about traits, which seem very vague of course and are somewhat frustrating to think about, but also sound really cool and I 100% want to pick up TenaciousBlocker as soon as I can. Hopefully its on field impact is as significant as the TPE cost and description would have me believe. I only rarely watch the sims truth be told, but the improvements in what we'll be able to see on screen during those should also be pretty exciting. Finally, better logging of statistics in a few areas at least will be really nice for getting a better idea of what players are performing well. Pretty much only seeing positives to switching personally and I think that all those involved have done a great job!

[TheSparkyDee]

Tier 1 Option 6

This falls under Something that Interests me! 800 Words for +10 TPE please.

Oh the words the “sim is going to sim” are words that have haunted me since S54 of the SMJHL playoffs in the SHL. When I first started playing sim leagues back in March. The one thing I kept hearing about these sim leagues was the way the sim will not go in your favor. I had a bad feeling they were going to be right. I have watched enough sims in my time to understand that you can not fight the sim, or the sim always win. I know of a fancy line from a song… “I fought the law and the law won.” It should go a little like this “I fought the sim and the sim won!” Sim can be a cruel mistress sometimes and it takes the strongest person to not go full rage mode during sims. That was what I felt duringthe Minnesota Grey Ducks season! The sim is so far off. We should have won every single game this season! The fact that we did not is outrageous, we clearly had the best team in the DSFL. I am not going to blame any players… because it’s all the sims fault. I have come to the conclusion that the sim is out to get me. The sim has destroyed my entire FAKE SIMULATION SPORTS LIFE! The sim made the Minnesota Grey Ducks lose those last games in the last stretch of games. We were clearly the favorite team to win it. Why did we not win? You may say our defense, our offense…. I say you are crazy! We lost because of the sim! The sim did not want us to win because it hates me. I have been a simmer for the SHL and I have only shown my love towards the sim! So, you think I would get blessed with the luck of the sim. Any team who says they have good luck with the sim…. is obviously cheating the sim and having it doing their bidding. It’s totally unfair and had to be stopped… Now that we are using a new sim maybe just maybe I can get good. The new SIM will be full of new features and things that will help our players grow into something amazing. The graphics will look much much smoother. I have been looking at the other new features, the player traits and new play design options allow for motion and play action plays, completely different depth options allow for adding a third down back, so if you like to have a specific running back run it on third down then now is your chance. As well as a total revamp of the penalty system. I am excited to see how the players that we all kind of re-due and add TPE into things we should have done before, or maybe even take things away from something we should have done at the beginning. The player traits are something we will see if they make a big impact and maybe a certain ability that we saw in the old sim become a big factor then, might be different in the new sim. I do not like the way the new sim has a lock on a certain ability, I have to have 20 in pass blocking and run blocking, that is 38 points or even moving them to 0 and having 40 points to put somewhere else. If you are a wide receiver, you are not going to be doing a lot of blocking and having to pancake people. That is what the linemen and tight ends are for. I could use the 40 points for speed!!! So that way we could make our players better in those stats for our team to help them win. The sim life is a hard one. So, I understand the issues of taking things away and adding things, but I lost the majority of my speed for my player. The old sim I had over 80 speed. It was 81 to be exact, but now it’s only at 70ish, which maybe is not so bad, but I also lost some other abilities as well. They are down and I have to work my way up again for them, which is not a big deal for me, but maybe for other people. The new sim brings a fresh start to the sim league, I have not been here long enough to say if this is true. This is my first full season here. I am currently waiting to be drafted by a ISFL team, and by then the sim will be well used and be ready to screw me when I get called up to play for my ISFL team. So right now the sim will screw with me and my Minnesota Grey Ducks.


(818 Words)

[bjkman]

16) Your team has made it to the playoffs! Put together a pre-game playlist and explain how those songs will hype your players.

Flight of the Conchords - Mutha’uckas: "Too many mutha'uckas, 'Uckin' with my shi'" ain't that the truth! The Sailfish like to be in charge and we like to be on top of things at all times. This song makes sure that we remember that stuff can go wrong but we need to be cool-headed to succeed. I also need to rep my New Zealand home with one of the largest bands in the country!

Sturgill Simpson - Last Man Standing: "the destiny is yours to lose", and we will do everything we can to be the last team standing at the end of the season. This is a great hype song with awesome rockin' lyrics.

Blur - Song 2: "WOO HOO!", It is the quintessential celebration song. What else is there to say!?

Tim Minchin - Some People Have It Worse Than I: "But how bad can it be? Some people have it worse than me", This song brings us back to earth and also makes us laugh. We know that whatever happens, we will still have a better life than many other people, and we made the playoffs so we had it better than the majority of teams in the ISFL. No matter what happens we are lucky to be where we are.

Code:

210 Words

18) Write about another sim league you are in and which parts of it you enjoy. If you are only in the ISFL, write about your ideas for a sim league with another sport.

I have had the amazing privilege of joining three other sim leagues since the time I started in the ISFL last February. And as I arrive on my near year anniversary it is great to think about the other leagues I joined this year. First off I joined a UFC league called the BFL and I have had a lot of fun fighting in that league, next I joined the PBE in the early summer which was a great opportunity and I met a lot of wonderful people who helped me make my player the best he could be, and lastly, this fall I joined the SHL and it has just been an awesome experience so far. I learned from my previous sim league experiences and joined right on the trade deadline to help upgrade my player the most I could before I found my way into the Minor Leagues. I first started my career on the Quebec City Citadelles but as the offseason progressed and I talked to the other teams, I ended up being drafted by the St. Louis Scarecrows. I have been so lucky to join two of the best minor league locker rooms right off the bat, and I really think even if you aren't the biggest hockey fan, you will find your home in the SHL!

Code:

221 Words

24) Design a ticket stub or promotional poster for a playoff game or the final. Graphics only.




27) Create a billboard, magazine cover, unique trading card, or video game cover depicting a superstar of the league. Graphics only.
 

[ThunderTitan82]

Both options I’ve chosen are from tier two for 400+ words minimum.

10) Describe your player and/or team’s journey through this latest season. What were the highlights? What were the lower points? What might you have done differently? What are your expectations for next season?

My entire season so far with the Butchers has been solid. As a team we have either hit pretty close to most expectations or exceeded them slightly at this point. With a playoff berth and the #2 seed in the conference locked up we have a good chance with home field advantage to take down the Sailfish and move onto the powerhouse wraiths which will be an incredibly tough game. I think we have what it takes to win it though and could bring home an ultimini in the near future. Personally my rookie season has gone great and if I had it my way I’d be the front runner for Defensive Rookie of the year. I’m tied I believe for 2nd among rookies for interceptions at 3, tied for second among rookies in sacks with 7, and the only rookie in the league, and one of 3 players with 2 defensive touchdowns. I’m not chasing it and don’t care much either way but it is a bit exciting and I’m incredibly happy that I’m playing well. My best individual performance came against the Berlin Fire Salamanders early in the season. I’m that game I recorded 4 tackles, a sack, 2 pass defenses, 2 interceptions, and a pick six. The highlight of career so far for sure. I went on a bit of a slump after this game, I recorded sacks aplenty during this time adding to my total sack count where I recorded at least 1 sack in half of our games. My skills pressuring the quarterback were on full display during weeks 11-15 where I tallied a sack in each game. I didn’t do much by way of pass defense or high tackle games during this time, but along with the sack I had made a few key touchdown saving tackles that could have potentially shifted momentum in the games. The final highlight of my rookie season came tonight, in our dominate road win against the Hawks. I didn’t light up the stat sheet by way of tackles. In fact I only had 3. Instead I intercepted a pass from Chika Fujiwara and returned it 54 yards to the house, a play that would extend our lead to 17-0 in a game that saw us rout the hawks 45-17. Overall I am incredibly happy with the way I’ve played this far in my career and can only pray to the sim gods for such luck again next year. Maybe the new sim will favor me more and I’ll do better and avoid a dreaded sophomore slump. Only time will tell.



14) Choose a team or player to write about that isn’t your own. What did they do well in the last season? Have they shown any drastic improvements from previous years? What could they do better? 

Who better to write this piece about than my man Gleel. This guy is an absolute powerhouse. Built like a brick without a doubt. Strong as an ox. Just a beast of a linebacker. He really turned a lot of heads in his season 24 rookie year dominating the stat sheet alongside chainbreaker to make a fearsome pairing. He finished up the rookie season with 105 tackles, which put him 7th in the league in tackles that season.  It to mention 4 tackles for loss, 5 sacks and an interception with 3 pass defenses. The dudes a stud and there’s no doubt about it. Season 25 Gleel and I would be made captains of the Grey Ducks roster and quite the pair we made. Leading the way on the DSFLs best defense that season. Gleel will swear he had a sophomore slump, but I’m not so sure. His 98 tackles was solid, enough for 11th in the league. Although he only three tackles for loss, 1 sack 1 interception and four pass defenses. He also forced and recovered a fumble. More of a game manager in season 25 and undoubtedly the man calling the shots on defense. Season 26 coming to and end this week he still has time to improve further, but he has stepped into the role of a veteran linebacker with authority. Currently third in the league in tackles with one hundred and twenty four, he has emerged as a front runner for LBOTY and in my opinion for DPOTY. Along with those tackles he’s got four for a loss, one forced fumble, 5 sacks and six pass defenses. Though he doesn’t a pick this season he does have a safety which is points so I would argue it’s better. He has done it all this season and then some. This guy has been a staple of the Minnesota defense for years now, and will likely cement his place among Minnesota Legends when the time comes for him to move up. The good part is that we were drafted to the same team. Twice. First in Minnesota where built up a legacy for our players and friendship between them. Then to Chicago where he will eventually be called up and join me in red and black. The Gruesome Twosome will reunite and terrorize the turf with the other meatgrinders in Chicago. I only hope our players will play as well together in the ISFL as they did in the DSFL. If they do offenses better watch out, they’re gonna have a pair of animals hunting them down on the other side of the field.

[zaynzk]

12) It seems likely the league will undergo expansion again one day soon. What would you like to see in a new expansion team? What should it be called, where should it be located, and who do you think would be in the best position to GM? Explain why.


I will talk to you about the New Expansion team, the Fargo Woodchippers. This idea was not completely my own, as while I said the place of Fargo North Dakota, it was actually TimeConsumer that gave me the idea of using the term Woodchipper which would reference the Coen Brothers movie, of the same name. Why this would be a good place for a franchise, is that the north west of America is at this moment under represented, with the nearest teams being either in California or Chicago. Also Fargo is a place that has never had a professional sports team despite it holding some significance as a minor city. The branding and the name are all pretty solid and original and have not been used before as a sports brand, despite the term Woodchipper feeling like something, like the 49ers Oilers or Steelers as a "manly" occupation. As for who leads this organization, while i would initially suggest one of myself or TimeConsumer to lead this historic franchise, i feel like despite the fact that TC would easily be given a Expansion if he really wanted too, and that I am a solid new user who could easily ride his coattails, i have decided to look for other options. While I have no idea if they would be interested or would even want to GM at a higher level. I would give this expansion to two guys who have both GM'd portland. qWest and Southpaw. Why? Well qWest thought my name was dumb so i picked him since he would hate being stuck in Fargo, North Dakota for a team named the Woodchippers. He is also a very solid user Sim wise and is very passionate about the league, South on the other hand is one of the more natural DSFL GM's i have seen, he has done wonders with getting the best out of players, and is probably a shoe in for GMoTY for the DSFL. I figure that these two were the key figures in turning portland from the laughing stock of the DSFL, to one of the more competent ones and i would trust them to take my idea and turn it into a successful franchise. Also with this expansion there is a clear solution for QB, as the Portland QB, LeBron James III, is currently on a team that has a QB already and would likely be traded to be the face of an expansion team such as the Woodchippers.

17) You’re in charge of entertainment for the Ultimus or Ultimini half-time show. What would you do?

The year is 2041, all the entertainers we know an love are all old and irrelevant now. But one name remains JASON DERULO. I have found out that DeRulo somehow is one of a handful of artist to have hits for 3 decades in a row, With Whatch Say hitting the charts in 2009, and him in 2021, having a hit song on the radio still. Due to 3 decades of relivence, Derulo somehow manages to stay relevant in two decades later with an annoying ability to steal songs of internet trends. Recently he made smash hits "Frost Sux Lmap" and "Im a Walnut for you (Rev Smells Remix)." With these hits in the bag, DeRulo get invited to preform at the half time show at the Ultimus, DeRulo, a Florida native is fan and invester in the Sarasota Sailfish, so is hoping he gets to see his team finally win the big game. DuRulo, with the help of his two guest stars; Post Electric Emo Rap Band, My Acid Tears Are Burning My Face Please Help, as well as Pop Star, Sextina Aquafina, will make up this star studded line up. for 50 year old Jason DuRulo only one thing matters, watching his stinky fish finally fire Frolf


21) What team do you think has the best branding in the league? What team do you think could use a refresh? Why?

The best branding in the league is a tough questions, to which i have a few names that could fit. My Team the New York Silverbacks, have a really original and kinda art deco style that you would see in new york, which attracted me to the team to begin with. My second favorite brand is the Yellowknife Wraiths, such a dark a brooding image, the wraith took advantage of the lack of black or darker colors, to create a fearsome logo and brand. Finally I like the Otters Logo, it is adorable and original, being one of the first teams, and picking an Iconic Orange to represent the County they are from, probably the most recognizable logo in the league. My least favorite logos are quite simple. Firstly I hate Philly's logo, yeah the USA colors are cool and all, but the bell needs to be updates, Perhaps bolder colors, or a move away from the overly patriotic imagry, phily needs a new logo and bad. The other logo i am not a fan of is the San Jose Sabercats. Sure its an ok logo and looks pretty football like, but you could do so much more with the logo and make it 10x more creative or colorful or anything

[LancedJack]

12) It seems likely the league will undergo expansion again one day soon. What would you like to see in a new expansion team? What should it be called, where should it be located, and who do you think would be in the best position to GM? Explain why.

Ok so I think the league really suffers from one thing: A lack of spooky, mythological creature based teams. At best we have the Yeti. Could you count the Wraiths? Maybe. I wouldn't. They're in the Witcher but that makes them neither mythological or spooky. We have many creature named teams, a couple of real "thing" teams such as the Second Line and the Butchers and some more philosphical teams in the shape of the Liberty. So what am I getting at here? I think we need to add one of two teams.

Firstly we should add the Wichita Wendigos, a team I concepted previously and posted, to really drive home the spooky, cryptid feel. It does add to the myriad of creature based teams we already have but that shouldn't detract from the fact that the combination of team name and creature name realy adds to the effect of the team. Wichita is optional I would say. It could easily be replaced by somewhere else beginning with W. I would like to use Wichita however as the Offensive Line could refer to themselves as the Wichita Linemen and that alone would make Glen Campbell as a possible recreate. Worth it for that price alone. The Wendigos however are not optional. There is no (read: very little) Wichita books/movies/music available (If you know of any and are reading this PM me - I didn't count this part on the word count) so the idea of having a unique concept as the sports team in the league would be a great shout. As for the GM of this franchise I can't think of anyone in particular who would excel in the role. I would say experience in the spooky and supernatural should be a pre-requisite however.

My second suggestion for a team would be the Edinbugh Top Riders. Edinburgh, Scotland has a castle, horses, stables and all the other rigmoral that comes with medieval chivalry. Add to that the opportunity to chuck a simple knight riding a horse logo on top of some branding and masquerade some vaguely Scottish drivel around it and you've got a team. For example, tartan endzones, the Shortbread Dome, uniforms consisting of kilts. Really the list writes itself. It also lets us move the league further international which is always a good thing and for the Scottish amongst us the obvious Top Riders double entendre makes it a very worthwhile selection. I think we all know who I'm going to suggest GM this terrible team and that would be a combination of ConnorM123 and Asked Madden. What a gruesome twosome.


15) You’ve been named Commissioner for a Week (your choice as to ISFL or DSFL). What do you do? Would you make any fast and drastic changes, or coast along with what’s already in place? Do you think you would do well in the position? If not, is there someone else that would?


So it's finally come to pass. Rustephor Reginald Rucker has taken his place atop the mountain to reign as King of the DSFL. Ignoring whatever terrible tragedy has befallen Bex and whatever political coup has also taken place to get me here what would I change? What would I add? Oh the possibilities are endless.

I can't think of any sweeping, grand changes I would make that I would force through as a dictator. As tempting as it would be to introduce radical changes and overhaul the whole place it speaks volumes to what the current team have accomplished that it's as good as it is. Coasting sounds fairly straight forward actually now that I think about it. However! The first thing I would do, as I've previously harped on at, is either reduce twitter money or make tweets have to be league relevant. That's right, no more of your "Tweeting for full money" or being a glorified counting bot. No, no. I want motivational quotes, I want relevant league statistics. Basically I want to drive you away from twitter and the cesspit it creates.... damn I'd make a terrible commissioner.

I also think I'd like to drive home the DSFL experience. I think people hold far more loyalty to their DSFL team long after their association with them has faded. Often people will try to go back to DSFL teams when they recreate and are bitterly disappointed when they do not. With that in mind I think I'd raise the TPE cap on the DSFL players and extend the playing time there to two years minimum with a possible extension to four years. This would obviously render a lot of records and achievements moot but you can't stand in the way or progress for too long!

Finally I'd like to add in a reporter role to the league. Something similar to the Adam Schefters and Ian Rapoports of the world. What that would look like at a DSFL level is, essentially, carte blanche to borderline tamper. Got an issue with your team? Leak it to the reporter. Think someone in your locker room is a knob end? Leak it. Don't think any of that whatsoever? Reporters make it up! The back channels and the drama already exist, lets make it a visible twitter account for everyone in the league to follow. Also if you're looking for a trade or you're going inactive or exercising an option? Leak it. Telling you, reporters are the way to go!