(S27) Ultimus Week

[z0rem]

16) The bank now accepts ISFL currency in exchange for real money – every ISFL dollar counts as $0.50 in the real world. How much money would you exchange, and what would you spend it on?
Alright so it’s nice that the world has decided to make journalists have a real job, and one that pays the most per just about everything.  So that means that I have about 18 mil in my bank account at this moment which equals about 9 million dollars in real life.  Which means that I would definitely exchange all of it.  If all I have to do to make money is to just write articles about football and maybe even tabloids or just about anything else that will get my high word counts than it would be quite easy to make a killing.  Although one thing that is not mentioned here is if this is a one time deal or if it would be an ongoing exchange.  That being said with 9 million dollars the first thing I would do it buy several homes.  I would probably spend all the money on buying property in high traffic cities like New York, Boston, and LA.  From there I would turn them into rentals and would make a killing because I would have no mortgage to worry about.  This would let me take my 9 million and give me a steady income so that I would not have to do anything else.

17) Describe the unique food items sold in your team’s home stadium. Write about the most popular items among your team’s fans and players, or create a graphic showing the menu of featured foods in the stadium.
Kansas City actually has quite the secret menu for those willing to spend the money.  There are some secret shops spread in the random nooks and corners of our little stadium that we call home.  Probably one of the most unique offerings is that we have a store that sells primo steaks for steak prices.  I am talking about expensive stuff.  This is the theme that you would notice about all our special offerings.  Not that they are expensive, but that they all have to do with beef in some way, shape, or form.  The fans go crazy for our stuffed hot dogs that change on a game by game basis.  An example of these stuffed hot dogs are links carefully created with stuffed cheese in the center before all the fixings go on top.  For those that are really adventuress we have special brined squirrel meat.  Most people say that it tastes like a crossover between Cornish hen and veal.  I honestly do not know how the chefs do it. Kansas is weird in that we have plenty of farm raised beef and veggies and these seem to be what interest the fans.  Meat, meat, and more meat.  We even sell bloodied coyote.  Some say eating the flesh of fallen packs will guarantee that we win the game.  At least that’s what coyote sam says.

18) If you could cast your team in a video game or TV show, what would that look like? Would they be voice actors in a game or cartoon, actors in a funny sitcom, or maybe key players in a reality tv show?
One just has to step into the coyote locker room to see that the only thing keeping this team playing football and not starring in their own sitcom is the strength of determination of our GMs.  We have some players who have killer voices and while they are a little shy in front of the camera, they would be the most impressive voice actors in the game.  We would probably all focus on doing sitcoms and not worrying about action, reality, or other genres.  We are a funny group of people so you better believe that this cartoon sitcom would probably end up on adult swim or Netflix where we would be able to showcase our abilities to our fullest.  An example of how the players would fit in.  Our GMs would be in charge of musical production and keeping us on track.  Players like Luke, Godfrey, and Will Smyth would be in charge of just the slapstick comedy.  Tears streaming from our faces.  Finally, we have the goose who comes in and drops a couple of ironic Aflacks and then waddles away.  He would show up at least once an episode at the most random moments. Maybe the sitcom would be about a football team that has no expectations and then goes on a winning tear right into the championship.


SHL Affiliate for 2.5

[hotdog]

Code:

You may submit one affiliate PT from PBE, SHL, or GOMHL for 2.5 TPE. You must link directly to your affiliate PT post made during the same time period (i.e. timestamped between Mar 8 - 18).

SHL PT

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Describe your player and/or team’s journey through this latest season. What were the highlights? What were the lower points? What might you have done differently? What are your expectations for next season?

We had a really great and promising season in Arizona this past season. After a string of seasons in which we seemed pretty good but couldn't quite put it together, we were definitely able to put it together this season. Playoffs is a different story, but anything can happen in one game of playoffs so I'll exclude that from this discussion and focus instead on the regular season, in which we excelled. We had an inauspicious start, with two losses to the Sabercats and the Copperheads. I believed this wouldn't be representative of our season, and indeed it proved not to be. We followed that up with nine (9) straight wins! Our peak during the regular season would have to be the Week 9 clubbing of the Baltimore Hawks in a game that ended up with a final score of 51-20. We put up some other dominating performances during the season but this one stood above the rest. (To be fair, seems like most everyone beat up on Baltimore this season but hey let me have this one). Our players put together some impressive individual seasons, with QB Charlemagne Cortez taking home the offensive rookie of the year award and RB Tatsu Nakamura in the running for most valuable player, running back of the year, and offensive player of the year. If I could've done one thing differently this season, I would've had us win the first playoff round against the New Orleans Second Line instead of lose that game; i think that would've been a better strategy for us. Despite the playoff shortcomings this season, I'm still super optimistic about the future of the team, considering how successful we were this season and looking at the roster for next season. We're still a fairly young team, and a massive part of the core of the team is still not yet in regression. That means that our starting QB, both running backs, top 3 wide recievers, both our safeties, our corner and our new corner, two linebackers, our stud defensive tackle are all gaining TPE in the offseason. That's an incredibly large portion of the team all getting significantly better over the same offseason for a time that already went 11-5 last season. Of course anything can happen in a league this full of parity with a sim engine this random, but it's impossible to look at that situation and not be super optimistic about the next season. Very excited to see how next season goes and the successes to come to the desert. 

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How or where would you celebrate with your teammates after winning an Ultimus or Ultimini?

The most passionate celebration will be immediately after the game in the Outlaws locker room (imagine this is an alternate reality where the Outlaws won instead of getting bounced in the first round). it'll be a circus for sure, with family and friends and media around, but my teammates and i are just gonna ignore all that mess (well maybe not ignore family but ignore everybody else's family i guess) and power through spraying each other with champagne. We're gonna get our goggles ready and blast each other in the face! what a time to be alive with my outlaws buddies. this is one of the times when it's truly acceptable - expected, even - for us to act like joyous little kids, and we're gonna take advantage of every second of that opportunity. I'm gonna shotgun some beers, I'm gonna take a champagne blast to the mouth, I'm gonna pour liquids of various sorts on my favorite reporters, I'm gonna give my manager a wedgie, I'm gonna dance around the room naked, I'm gonna eat a piece of candy, I'm gonna shotgun more beers, and I'm gonna sing "we are the champions" at the top of my lungs. i will stuff Gunner Thorbjornsson into a locker. I'm gonna pour red wine onto Jay Cue's old body. 

2.5 + 5 + 2.5

[Menace0528]

6) Write 800 words or more on something about anything in the league that interests you. It could be related to statistics, a league issue that you take seriously, or a niche part of history that doesn’t fit neatly into either of the above categories. This must be directly related to the league, so don’t wax 800 words about your team’s participation on a Werewolf server or something.

Today, I will be looking at how a player’s performance relates to win record and how a team performs in general, and if they don’t correlate try to figure out why not. The first person I want to look at is Ben Slothlisberger. Ben is the QB for NOLA, and was one of them best QB’s in the game. He had one of the highest QB ratings, one of the lowest number of interception, the highest number of touchdowns, the best touchdown to interception ratio, and the highest number of yards of any QB. NOLA had a winning record at 9-7, which is honestly barely a winning record, but it still matches up with the QB play. They also had a fairly high PF, which matches as well. One of the main reasons I see for NOLA only having a slightly above average season despite great QB numbers is the fact that Ben really did not pass the ball that often. He had a slightly below average number of pass attempts, which could be a possible reason why NOLA was only below average. Let’s now take a look at the other side. Jackie Daytona, QB for the Austin Copperheads, was one of the worst QB’s this season, with one of the lowest yards per completion, one of the lowest percentage of passes caught, only two more TDs than INTs, tied for highest number of INTs, and the lowest QB rating of any QB this season. The Austin Copperheads’ record matched up very well with the QB play, as they went 3 - 13 this season. They also had the second - lowest PF this season, which makes sense considering the lower number of TDs and high INT number. I now want to get into something that doesn’t match up as well. Luke Skywalker was the QB for the Baltimore Hawks this season, a team that went 0-16. Despite their record, Luke honestly did not play terribly. He had an average QB rating at 90.2, only a slightly above average number of INTs, a very above average number of TDs, and a good percentage of passes were caught. If there’s only one knock on him, it’s that a lot of these stats were made as a game manager figure, with a low yardage number and his longest pass being only slightly above 50 yards. That game manager play style may have boosted his numbers, but not to the point where Baltimore should be where they are. They not only have the lowest amount of points scored, but they have the lowest amount by far. They were the only team not to reach 300 points scored, as they only scored 218 points. Then again, all the blame can’t be put on Luke Skywalker for the season that Baltimore had had. Even with only 218 points scored, they should have at least won one game. But that’s where their defense came in. The second highest number of points against (or maybe PA stands for points allowed, i’m unsure, but the meaning is the same) in the league is 417 by the Yellowknife Wraiths, with the Austin Copperheads trailing close behind at 416. However, Baltimore by far had the worst PA. They had over 200 more points allowed than the Yellowknife Wraiths, allowing 618 points. So honestly, even if Luke Skywalker did better, I cannot at all imagine Baltimore having a much better record. Would they have won a game or two? Maybe, i’m not sure honestly. But I cannot put any sort of blame on Luke with that defense. Also, going back to something I had brought up earlier, the Yellowknife defense is soemthing I wanted to touch on. Yellowknife went 10 - 6 this past season, a pretty good record. They somehow did this despite a not great defensive record there. The odd thing, however, is that despite the points allowed total, Yellowknife’s defense honestly did not do that badly in other statistics. They had one of the highest number of tackles (which actually could be good or bad depending on how you look at it), one of the better numbers of fumbles forced, a good number of sacks, and average stats in most places. The one knock on them is they had the second lowest amount of PDs, which, considering how important PDs are, might be a factor in the high number of PAs. So what I have learned from writing this piece is that while QBs are absolutely an integral part of any team, it’s completely unfair to put all the blame on a QB when a team does bad, as there can be plenty of other factors, such as the defense. On the other hands, just because a defense does badly does not mean the team will do badly, as we saw with YKW.

(805 words)

[RussDrivesTheBus]

2) Tell us about your draft class. Is there anything that makes it special in comparison to other classes? Where did your fellow draftees land, how are they doing? Did anyone turn out to be an unexpected steal of that draft based on what you know today? Do you think anyone in your draft class will become a hall of famer? If you’re new to the league, how do you think your class will do? Where do you think people will get drafted to?

What wasn’t special about the S22 draft class? The sheer size of the class was special. The number of incredible users discovered continues to be special. And the number of leaders produced grows every season. Here is some perspective: the S22 class has 43 members who have gained more than 1000 TPE. That is number of users alone is more than 50% of any other class after it. S26 and S27 only have 49 total members! The numbers (mason) are staggering. But that can also be attributed to the massive total number of users in the class; 261. By now, almost everyone knows of the legend of S22. And it’s still being written. What I’d like to focus on is the DSFL draft for my class. Specifically, my fellow Grey Ducks. Let’s break down some of the most impactful selections Minnesota made.

Pick 8 – Buck Thornton – S
Buck is a Minnesota legend. He won back-to-back DBOTY awards as a Safety and was a valued member of our Locker Room. I also had a special connection with him because he, myself and Chester Sweets found each other and worked on a huge article to jumpstart our bank accounts. It was fun to collaborate with him and Sweets, and pushed us to be better users overall. He went IA after those first 2 seasons and I haven’t heard from him since. I do miss him and hope that one day he can come back to the league.

Pick 24 – Mo Magic – DT
The chosen one. Mamba came into the league and took that bitch over. It felt like he was a vet from day one. I was always chasing behind him trying to glean any knowledge he’d drop. He became the GM of Minn and the GM of COL AND the Awards Committee Head. There’s nothing he can’t do, given the proper support. TVC is a legend and an all-around good lad.

P32 – Lawrence Bass – LB
Hey, that’s me! I only had one season as a Duck and it was pretty solid for an LB. But I fell in love with the group early on and desperately wanted to be involved in helping the team get better. Dewalt noticed and added me to War Room. The rest is poorly documented history! I’m ecstatic to currently be a Co-GM of Minnesota and hope to lead the boys to an Ultimini. (I also may or may not have 2 Ultimus rings on my mantle)

P56 – Mario von Pebbles – DE
Jango came in like a wrecking ball. Dude is fiercely loyal and incredibly talented. He immediately picked up graphics, created the official Quack Squad poster, and has been making dank sigs ever since. He and a certain other teammate that will be mentioned later used to absolutely dominate the Minnesota server and made the locker room one of the most happening places to be.

P64 – Jamar Lackson – RB
Did someone say F Speed? Did someone say 2 Ultimus rings? Did someone say 4.0 YPC? If so, all of those apply to the main man Jamar. I am convinced this kid is the architect from the matrix because he is literally everywhere on discord all the time. You think he isn’t watching you, but he is. He’s a former GM of Minnesota and incredibly valued War Room member. I am so thankful to have him in both Minnesota and San Jose. He is truly an incredible asset, and very underrated by the league as a whole (as a user).

P97 – Matt Krause – CB
Y’all ever get a game-winning pick 6 in the Ultimus? No? Well, Krause did. One in a long line of late-bloomers from Minnesota, Krause really picked things up in his second season and never looked back. He was a long time War Room member in Minn, then became a WR member in Berlin when he was selected in the Expansion Draft. I love Krause and you should too.

P104 – Sim Snowbow – QB
SNOWY! Despite what some users will tell you, Snowy is a duck legend as well as a fantastic human being. Loyal as the day is long and is a fantastic source of positivity for all new ducks. Minnesota would not be the same if CLG and Dewie didn’t draft Snowy.

P120 – Samuel L Sackson – LB
Sackson was my LB partner for my only season in the DSFL and was fun in the Locker Room when he was around. He hung around for a while before the IA bug bit, but I enjoyed him and hope he finds his way back.

P162 – Tyron Shields – CB
Listening back to the draft stream, CLG wasn’t even sure if CC was active. And really, he wasn’t. Now, he’s one of the best users in the league. He was chosen as Minn GM and then selected me as his partner. He was so incredibly pleasant to work with and helped me learn as much as I could in the one season we lead together before he was called to take the CHI GM job. CC has shaped Minnesota for the better more than many people will ever know. I hope to be half the leader he was for Minn.

P208 – Daymond Brooks – WR
Before the Gruesome Twosome ever showed up in Minnesota, there was Jango and FSF. FSF was picked in the waning moments of the draft and turned into perhaps the biggest steal in the history of the league. His energy was infectious from the jump and has been contributing as a War Room member for quite some time now. He really is a fantastic talent scout and is capable of a lot more than people expect. I suspect once things ease up for him in real life, he could become an even bigger part of the league than he already is.


@Dewalt27 @CLG Rampage @TheCC @BenDover @ForSucksFake @"Reaper11B" @thevoicelesscreator @Jangorhino @SnowyWolfz

[charlit]

16) The bank now accepts ISFL currency in exchange for real money – every ISFL dollar counts as $0.50 in the real world. How much money would you exchange, and what would you spend it on?

Assuming this works both ways, I would convert a few thousand dollars into ISFL money. I’ve been struggling to afford equipment, and the 2:1 conversion rate is just too hard to pass up.

Just kidding, of course. I would probably convert all my ISFL currency into real money. It’s a very tough decision. While it would be a bit upsetting to watch my local bankers become ISFL superstars with this new influx of ISFL currency, I think the IRL benefits outweigh any downsides to my fake football player’s career. I currently have $6,202,252 in my ISFL bank account. After doing the calculations, this would convert into $3,101,126 in the real world. The first thing I would do with this money is gamble all of it on a single hand in poker. This obviously comes with its benefits and downsides. The major downside is that I could lose it all and be financially devastated. However, I could also win and probably quintuple my money, assuming at least four other multi-millionaires are at my poker table and match my bet. This would leave me with $15,505,630. I would then convert half of this back into ISFL currency. This would give me $15,505,630 in ISFL currency, allowing me to purchase tier 6 equipment for the season. $7,752,815 for tier 6 equipment seems like a fair exchange to me.

[sve7en]

SHL affiliate: https://simulationhockey.com/showthread....pid2999464

15) Write about another sim league you are in and which parts of it you enjoy. If you are only in the ISFL, write about your ideas for a sim league with another sport.

The only other sim league I'm in is the SHL, where I'm a man of many hats to say the least. I'm a head GM at the SMJHL level (the SHL's DSFL equivalent), the head of the events department (which handles scheduling, graphics, and hosting most events), the host of a weekly talkshow-podcast (Hockey Talk Tonight), and a contributor to the main media conglomerate, the SHN (Simulation Hockey Network), our version of TSN or ESPN.

My favorite part of the SHL, and sim leagues in general, is the ability to form communities and subcommunities around virtually nothing but the identity of a team that don't exist. Each team having their own identity and personality is expected but also entertaining. The community aspect, both in teams and how the league comes together at times for each other is something incredible, both in the face of tragedy and with opportunities to make a difference to people and communities.

The part of the SHL that is unique to that league in my opinion is the opportunities that the league offers for expression. You have the same media in the SHL that exists in other leagues, but the projects undertaken and the off the wall creativity is a step above anything else I've seen. Part of that comes from the sport itself, where hockey statistics offer lots of opportunities to find storylines and depth in the sim, and part of it comes from the userbase. Beyond the media though, the league as a whole is very open to progression and new ideas. The events team is part of that, but the head office, commissioner, and co-commissioner all have made big strides to support the projects and ideas of the dedicated users which range from the development of revamped live presentations of the draft and awards, changes to the grading of media systems to better compensate the projects and work done by members, a new index and site functionality, and the introduction of new features and easter eggs like the introduction of Icelevel, the SHL's trading card system. While that last one existed in the ISFL for a while, specifically after not taking off in the SHL once before, the current site developers and league leadership have made huge strides forward in enabling the league to create what they want to see. I always feel heard when I bring something up that might make the league a better time for everyone involved.


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29) Awards season is upon us. If you could create an award for anything in the league that doesn’t already exist, what would it be? Who do you think should get it?

I'd love to see an implementation of one of my favorite SHL awards, the most underrated player. Each GM nominates a player from their team, with reasoning behind the pick, for the awards committee to read and then vote on. I think it's great how teams can pay tribute to role players, locker room drivers, and other players who had a notable impact on a season even if they're not winners because every nominee gets highlighted. It's at the moment only an SMJHL award, though I think it could make sense at the big league level if done properly. 

Based on that, I could absolutely see it working well here in the DSFL and maybe even at the ISFL level, where the rosters are bigger and role players can be much more easily overlooked such as Faelax's player Evan Jones who was an incredible safety but was regularly overshadowed by the play of Mo Skeeter. Again, this might be applicable for the ISFL as well. The ISFL array of teams is even small enough right now that it wouldn't need to change much from how the SMJHL currently does things. All that would need to happen is a decentralization of the awards voting...

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[Pib]

7) So far, the ISFL has been incredible. It’s served the exact purpose I hoped it would. I’ve met some incredible people on my journey, mostly within the London locker room but there are certainly many other great individuals scattered across the league that I have had the pleasure of meeting so far.

While @katarn22 and @slate have certainly been incredibly helpful in guiding me through my first season, it would be amiss to not acknowledge all the veterans in the London locker room — both players and War Room members — that have allowed me to lean on their experience over the last couple of months. My teammates have also been absolutely incredible. Whether it’s Ace and Seb preaching about the #TwinTowers or Wildfire’s consistent enthusiasm for the league and the people within it, there is always something going on. It’s an incredible group of individuals that make me want to log back in every day.

A Blorgl deserves their own little paragraph. Quite possibly one of the best human beings(?) I have encountered in 23 years of internet usage. Genuinely, a credit to the league.

Game days are always great. It’s usually the same half a dozen people, due to time zones and general activity levels of each user but everyone is engaged. There is very little moaning when things don’t go our way but plenty of excitement when they do. Here’s hoping I get to see that locker room during an Ultimini at some point soon!

From a personal point of view, the season has gone much better than expected. I anticipated finishing the season as a middle of the road DE but to have (almost) hit cap before the close of the season and rack up 13 sacks and TFL’s as a rookie has been an incredible surprise. To then be nominated for numerous awards and win the MDM with Gragg was just the icing on the cake.

Getting drafted is great fun. The run up to the draft was a bit awkward, as people distance themselves from you a little more, through fear of a leak. The DM’s falling silent after a fortnight of intense scouting does feel a bit weird too but that’s a little more expected. However, knowing that I wanted to be in London and then having them take the risk to come get me in the 1st round was awesome and just motivated me further to extract every point of TPE I possibly could from each week.

As for feedback for the league? Well, I guess it’s time we move onto point 8...

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8) Getting new players for any “game” is a complex affair. There’s a reason that publishers have their spot in the market and Steam is able to command such a large percentage of revenue from each sale. The developers are essentially outsourcing the marketing of their product to a third party. This isn’t an option for the ISFL, as I very much doubt there is a budget at all, let alone one that could cover these kinds of expenses. So, my proposal is to improve the websites rankings in the search engine — more specifically, Google. As it currently stands, it’s not looking healthy.

I searched for “sim league” and “simulation league” and the ISFL wasn’t present in the first 5 pages (SERPs — Search Engine Results Page). Those are the terms I hear being used the most to describe the ISFL and similar sites, so it’s fair to say that the site should probably be ranking for them — if it wishes to bring in a consistent stream of players. There are some relatively simple steps that could be taken to improve the site's performance in this area but they go way beyond the scope of this PT. If anyone from HO would like to discuss this in a little more detail, they’re welcome to message me on Discord. The fact the website operates on Sim-Football.com suggests that someone at the top has a rough idea of what they were aiming for, so I have hope on this front.

In terms of retention; Streamline, streamline, streamline. I almost fell out of the league entirely due to the delay between me registering on the forum and having everything approved. That’s not a slight to the excellent work done by the rookie mentors. It’s simply a huge point of resistance for new players coming in. Had it not been for Zoot messaging me for scouting a few days later, I in all likelihood wouldn’t have come back to the league. New players need to be able to sign up and get straight into the action. No delays, no manual intervention. Let their excitement carry them through the process, begin to engage with the community and their new player. Errors with an update page can be fixed down the line. They’re going to get the same feedback from the RM’s, the only difference is when they receive it. At least with this approach, they’ve already invested some time into the league and have a reason to push through any initial issues.

From there on, it’s about the users ability to consume information. There’s an awful lot to get across to them and it’s very difficult to present this in a user friendly manner — trust me, I tried writing my own version of the Rookie Guide for London. What was supposed to be a 1 page how-to quickly turned into 6-7 pages of proof reading for Slate. Sorry about that, Slate. My solution to this would be a weekly checklist for every user, pointing them to every TPE and money making opportunity they have available to them that week. There are many ways this could be executed but it depends entirely on the development skills we have within the league. Each task on the checklist could be greyed out until a predefined and visible time and date, when the forum post that was stored as a hidden draft (or similar) with the task goes live — just as an example. Something like this: https://github.com/its-sparks-fly/Bewerb...cklist-1.0 could very well be morphed into what I am describing and could even be extended to the creation phase of a new user's journey.

[Lowlycrib]

24) 


20) I have been curious how injuries would play out in such a league and looks like my team has been hit with a bunch at key positions. Versatility has been a staple of Tyron Brackenridge's game as he has already played all over the field during his career which includes defensive end, linebacker, safety, and I think a little cornerback but don't quote me on that. While his defensive prowess is already known, it's time for Tyron Brackenridge to shine on the offensive side of the ball to truly show why he is one of the greatest Sabercats of all time. While I don't believe Tyron Brackenridge would be fit to play quarterback since I don't think cheese can ever get injured so Month Jack will still be fine but the team would need Brackenridge to step up as a runningback due to Jamar & Rando both breaking all of their limbs thus leaving a wide open hole at the running back position. While Tyron Brackenridge certainly would not be a speed back at this point he would be the perfect short yardage back that any time would be grateful to have much like Frank Gore in the NFL who always seems to find a way to get 3 to 4 yards a carry with ease. Brackenridge's old age might also play a positive role in how he can succeed because he is now legally allowed to take his cane onto the field which can be used as a deterrent to any defensive players. (254)

17)

[124715]

Long Form Task 1) This week will see the S26 Ultimus and Ultimini races begin in earnest. How did each team arrive at the playoffs? Were there any dark horse teams that went unexpectedly far, or any presumptive favorites that fell flat? Who do you think will win the final? If you’re writing this after the finals were decided, were you surprised by the outcome?

Ten teams made the playoffs this season - the Pythons, Coyotes, Birddogs, Luchadores, Hahalua, Outlaws, Second Line, Sailfish, Butchers, and Yeti. All of them took different paths to the playoffs.

Let’s start with the DSFL champion Birddogs. They had narrowly missed the playoffs just last season, but reloaded through the draft with a pair of WR additions and some key defensive reinforcements. Indeed, it was Dallas’ offense that buoyed the team to a headline-making 11-1 record, with Joilet Christ Jr. performing like an MVP and a pair of rookie wideouts playing out of their minds. Dallas stumbled at the end of the season, suffering losses to the Pythons and Coyotes in quick succession, but still entered the playoffs with home field advantage over the entire field. Dallas won two thrillers in a row to seize the Ultimini trophy for the first time in franchise history.

One of the teams they eked out a win against was the Tijuana Luchadores. Seemingly a DSFL playoff mainstay, the Luchadores had suffered a sub-par season last year with the rotating carousel of Boo Tee and Franklin Ali-West at QB. This year, they reloaded with the highly-touted IsHe… ReallyInvisible. The Luchadore offense ran through the running game with ReallyInvisible plus Preston Parker, Drip Dad, and Lonnie Jackson. Their defense was also stout at all levels. However, the lack of any semblance of a passing game hurt them throughout the season, and eventually did them in in the postseason as the Luchadores just couldn’t keep up with the Birddogs.

The Pythons were hailed as the team to beat from the start of the offseason. Sending out a loaded roster featuring an entirely capped secondary and 150+ TPE starters at pretty much every position, there was even buzz that the Portland squad might complete the first ever undefeated season in ISFL/DSFL history. That didn’t happen - a pair of close, unexpected, and probably unlucky losses hit Portland quickly, and at the season’s midpoint, they didn’t even have the league’s best record. With most of their roster capped and thus not improving, their TPE advantage quickly dwindled. They lost in the first round of the playoffs to the surging Coyotes.

Speaking of the Coyotes, they took pretty much the opposite path from the Pythons. Coming off a 1-13 campaign where they earned the first overall pick, the Kansas City squad stumbled out to a dreadful 2-7 start that had most of the league thinking, “oh well. Same old ‘Yotes.” However, the roster had been steadily improving, and the Coyotes rattled off six straight wins en route to an Ultimus appearance. In the championship game, Kansas City suffered a devastating loss in a 23-21 thriller that saw the Coyotes choke away a 21-7 lead to the Birddogs. Still, the season was a massive improvement from the one prior.

Improvement is a great theme to jump leagues with. The Honolulu Hahalua also rebounded from a 13-loss, first overall pick campaign to seize their conference #1 seed with an 11-4-1 record. The offense was reliable in the field position game all season and the defense was electric, holding teams under 20 points per game. Unfortunately, a close loss to the Second Line in the playoffs ended their Cinderella story.

The Second Line got off to a slow start, but quickly pulled their season together and made a last-minute push for the playoffs on the backs of a dynamic passing offense headed by MVP QB Ben Slothlisberger. Their defense did just enough all season long, and New Orleans pulled off a pair of upsets in the playoffs to make the Ultimus, where they nonetheless got their lunch eaten by Sarasota.

The Outlaws made up the third part of the ASFC’s playoff representation. They featured a strong offense lead by one of the ISFL’s only reliable run games, and the defense was no slouch despite some weaknesses throughout. Unfortunately, a tough playoff loss ended their season prematurely.

The eventual champion Sarasota Sailfish featured a stacked roster on every level, including another one of the reliable run games. RB Raphtalia Chan carried the ground game while the air offense ran through a trio of strong receiving targets. The defensive unit featured elite players at every position, too, and while they didn’t play up to this level during the regular season, they turned it on for the postseason. With a strong offense and a strong defense, they buzzsawed their way through the playoffs and won the Ultimus in convincing fashion.

The Chicago Butchers received an inordinate amount of hype before the season off their entirely-human offensive line and three-deep of 1000 TPE CBs. However, they weren’t unbeatable on the field, with their passing defense still having some chinks in the armor, and despite the solid O-Line their rushing offense was never reliable. The inconsistency did the Butchers in in the postseason, and the Yeti eliminated them in the first round.

The Yeti are the final team of the playoffs. With a reckless air raid offense and an all-out blitz defense, the Yeti won by pressing opponents against the wall and daring them to fight back. Predictably, it led to some painful losses, but also some wild upset wins, and also whatever the heck that week 16 tie against Honolulu was. The Yeti knocked off the preseason favorite Butchers but got smoked by Sarasota in the NSFCCG.

890 words

[excelsior]

10.

S27 was quite an interesting season for the Baltimore Hawks. We went through a lot of ups and downs, but now the future is looking bright. It all started after the S27 ISFL draft. With the 11th overall pick, in the S27 ISFL draft, the Baltimore Hawks select... Maui Wailiki, offensive lineman for the Dallas Birddogs! Maui was the first OL off the board, and the first birddog too. Maui was in the process of transitioning from an offensive lineman to a defensive edge rusher that offseason, but Baltimore wasn't aware because they never scouted him. Now, luckily, Baltimore did have a hole at defensive line, so they could luckily play him there, but otherwise, things could have gotten messy. Fast forward a few weeks into the season. Everything's going terribly. The Hawks are winless, the locker room is near dead, and there's no sense of hope. This was Chika's peak year, and the Hawks were wasting all that talent. Some members of HO were getting a little bit nervous at the direction that the team was taking, and I can't blame them. They contacted users of the team to try and determine the culture in Baltimore. Star players were leaving each season and Baltimore had negotiated some pretty terrible contracts, putting themselves in a cap hell. The Head Office determined that the current GMs were unfit to run the team, and thus the saga started. HO brought in 2 outside candidates, Frick and Hall, who I absolutely love. There could not have been a better pair of candidates that they picked. Unfortunately, half the team disagreed, so we had to ship them out. We traded our star QB, our only active OL, an earning safety, a monster TE, and we got a LOT of picks out of it. Baltimore traded the old models for the new one. With all this new draft capital, we are heading in the right direction. We had 2 first round picks last season, 2 this season, and 3 next season. That's 7 first rounders across 3 years. 1 of them from S27, excelsior, has made a huge impact on the team, immediately contributing to the war room and locker room culture. He's been max earning and extremely enthusiastic. The other first rounder, Overdoo, was definitely a solid pickup, but I think they reached a little at 3OA. Baltimore could potentially nail this S28 draft class, with top recreates like BigRed and Infinite in the class. Baltimore may have gone winless this season, and may go winless next season, but by S30, this team will be contending for a playoff berth. The only unfortunate thing is our QB of the future is an S29 player, so we won't have a good QB until around S32.

12.
Maui Wailiki has always been underrated, even from his time in high school, to being recruited as a D1 athlete, to playing in college, and then getting scouted in the DSFL, and then the ISFL. All 4 levels, Maui has been snubbed in some way. He's been a great player, constantly putting in the effort and work and dedication that you need from a pro athlete like him. It's been a while since we've checked in with him, the last time being before his DSFL draft. A lot has come since then. He was selected with the first pick of the 5th round in the S26 DSFL draft. Maui Wailiki? A 5th rounder? How could this be? Well, this fall was certainly explainable. He was an OL, so he was automatically going to be disadvantaged, as OL are always a bit biased against. Teams do not recognize the full value that these players bring to their teams, but it's understandable. Maui also said he wanted nothing to do with the DSFL, so he wanted to go straight to the ISFL. Which team wanted to waste a pick on a 1 season offensive lineman? Dallas did, because Dallas cares about developing talent, not winning, yet they still won the Ultimini a season after. Maui had a pretty unproductive rookie year, only making the pro bowl out of pity. He was living up to his draft placement, and he was often outplayed by his fellow S27 OL, Cheese Farley. Maui decided to announce his switch to a DE. He knew immediately that would get some teams much more interested in him. He made a full switch to DE and had a great scouting combine. Maui was seen as one of THE top prospects in the draft going in after this switch, and many assumed he would go in the first round. Little did the public know how much praise he was receiving behind closed doors. Honolulu was genuinely thinking about taking Maui 1OA before a last second switch to take Eleven Kendrick Watts. Maui fell, and fell, and fell, all the way down to 11OA! The Hawks picked him up, a no-brainer move. Maui wondered if there really was 10 people ahead of him that deserved to get picked before he did. He knew he was going to make them regret passing on him. Maui had a terrible rookie season, but it was such a weird season with the sim change, and hopefully some new balance changes will ensure Maui a defensive breakout player of the year next season.