Orange County Otters

[Blasoon]

-1M invested into the new shortstock:

Blockbuster

You invest a cool 1m in Blockbuster AND RIDE IT TO THE MOON. On the moon you find 5 TPE.
PROCESSED

[Thor]

$1m performance enhancing drugs

Processed BUT THE LEAGUE'S DRUG ABUSE DEPARTMENT HAS BEEN INFORMED AND WILL BE PAYING A VISIT TO YOU SHORTLY

[Nhamlet]

$1m to my favorite banker's choice of clown university

The Colorado Yeti thank you for your donation. In return they donate 5 TPE to you.
PROCESSED

[Duilio05]

$1M ginger ale as i update in the sunny spring weather outside my favorite coffee shop

The largest ginger ale in the world arrives. It tastes just the way you like it and reminds you of your youth running around the fields of Orange County in the sun. These memories bring back forgotten knowledge of football as well, about 5 TPE worth.
PROCESSED

[Revolution5]

1 mil training ac 204 + 5 TPE

PROCESSED

[Lime]

1m in socks

$1m of socks arrive at your door and you live like a king, never having to wear the same pair of socks twice. Your super fresh feet make you 5 TPE better on the field.
PROCESSED

[Seymour]

$1m for my pregnant sister. I am going to be a dad!

1 million congratulations to you and your sister. I'm sure your wife won't be happy but that's just because it'll make her a grandma.
PROCESSED

[Eldorian]

1M for new goat farm

A brand new million dollar goat farm is yours but there are no tanks in sight.... The goats help you train for on the field though and you gain 5 TPE of skills.
PROCESSED

[Memento Mori]

$1m worth of freezers to belatedly freeze all the sausage rolls I bought last week

Freezing all those sausage rolls means you no longer ever have to spend time cooking and instead can focus on getting 5 TPE better at football every week!

However a power cut turns off all the freezers and you only have enough non-food-poisioning ssausage rolls to sustain you for a week, ruining the dream of infinite weekly trainings.
PROCESSED

[ReverendOReily]

Pretty sure I still have enough wiggle room in my bank account for $1m worth of fruity pebble based training. My dotts subscription might come along and mess that up though; at any rate I'll take the most expensive training my bank account allows when you're processing this, whether that be 1m or 500k.

((also idk if this matters but I have a long media pending grading if bankers are allowed to say "he's good for it" and approve the transactions of broke ass bitches such as myself))

At the time of processing you're good for the 1m but you won't be next week until the media gets processed but it should clear in plenty of time. Anyway, back to the training...

THE FRUITY PEBBLY GOODNESS OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE CEREAL FROM MY QUICK GOOGLE OVERWHELMS YOUR SENSES. YOU SEE COLOURS THAT HAVE NEVER EXISTED BEFORE AND YOUR MIND TAKES YOU TO A NEW PLANE OF EXISTANCE. On this plane you find 5 TPE before the high wears off and you figure out Duilio spiked your fruity pebbles.
PROCESSED