2x claim - https://forums.sim-football.com/showthre...#pid464882
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At the end of S28, the unthinkable happened - Mattathias Caliban broke the single season passing yards record. The old mark of 5,545 yards, set in S5 by the Hall of Famer Mike Boss, was considered for a long time to be completely unbreakable. In fact, even with 2 extra games being played each season since S23, only two other players (New Orleans’ Ben Slothlisberger in S27 and Sarasota’s Dexter Banks II in S24) have even eclipsed the 5,000 yard mark. Caliban barely surpassed Boss’ number in the final week of the season, besting it by 123 yards. Claims of inflated volume or not, what Caliban and the Yeti did this past season was truly incredible.
This got me thinking - there are many records that should be under threat of falling, and so I employed the goodest bot to research how today’s players are progressing towards Career records, and if anyone might be able to best the legends of old.
I just want to note that Offensive Line records won’t be in this article because wolfieBot Dashboards still include BOT offensive linemen. This is a work in progress still, so I don’t want to put it in this article.
Passing Records
Pass Yards
Record: Mike Boss - 42,278 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: George O’Donnell (#18 - 24,858 yards), Monterey Jack (#22 - 22,191 yards), Colby Jack (#23, 21,952 yards), Ben Slothlisberger (#25 - 21,093 yards)
I think it is safe to say that this record will not fall. O’Donnell, who is the closest, is well into regression, and both of the Jack twins and Slothlisberger have just entered it. Any of those three would need to average a very generous 5,000 yards a season for the next four seasons, and even then they wouldn’t surpass Boss. After S32 I think it may be hard for them to maintain a starting role. I expect all four players to break the top 10 (currently Ryan Applehort - 28,497 yards) and probably even the top 5 (currently Wolfie McDummy - 32,568 yards), but I don’t know if they reach 40,000 yards.
Just to put into context how incredible Boss’s record is - he did not even start nine full seasons as the Otters’ quarterback. Plus, he only had the benefit of playing 14 game seasons, while many of today’s players get 16 games a season.
Pass TDs
Record: Mike Boss - 292 TDs
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: Colby Jack (#20 - 145 TDs), George O’Donnell (#22 - 140 TDs), Ben Slothlisberger (#23 - 133 TDs)
Just like his other major passing record, this will definitely not fall any time soon. Taking the four-season lifetime we estimated earlier, Colby Jack would need to average 36.75 TDs per season to surpass Boss. This would mean he’d have to put up the 13th best passing touchdown season of all time for four straight seasons, in regression, just to pass Boss. Reaching the top 10 (currently Corvo Havran - 173 TDs) should be a safe bet for all three of these players, though reaching the top 5 (currently Avon Blocksdale - 225 TDs) will be a challenge.
Pass Completions
Record: Borkus Maximus III - 3,427 completions
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: George O’Donnell (#18 - 2,058 completions), Monterey Jack (#21 - 1,899 completions), Colby Jack (#24 - 1,800 completions)
Woah, a passing record not owned by Mike Boss?! That’s correct! Borkus managed to steal this record by a mere 176 completions. So what if he had 582 more attempts? This record is actually fairly close at the top (unlike the previous two), with Easton Cole not even 100 completions behind Boss, and McDummy another 363 completions behind Cole (with one less season). I actually think that this record will fall soon. The new sim features much more efficient passers, and so all 10 of the top 10 single-season completion records belong to performances in S27 or S28. If we take a fairly reasonable to conservative estimate of 400 completions a season to four seasons for the Jack twins, Monty will just surpass Borkus and Colby will not be too far off. O’Donnell, being one year older, probably won’t break Borkus’ record but will likely break into the top five (currently Cooter Bigsby - 2,773 completions). Given the new sim’s attraction to efficient quarterback play, I expect this record to become an arms race quite soon.
Interceptions
Record: Easton Cole - 141 interceptions
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: George O’Donnell (#17 - 81 interceptions)
This is not going to fall any time soon. Easton played 11 full seasons, with many of his early seasons being on a really bad fresh expansion team. The current climate of the league allows quarterbacks to stay down in the DSFL to *shock* develop more, and so they enter the league much more in tune with how to protect the ball. I wouldn’t be totally shocked if O’Donnell makes it into the top 10 (currently Gus T.T. Showbiz - 95 interceptions), but he definitely won’t make the top 5 (currently Cooter Bigsby - 108 interceptions) unless something goes very wrong.
Rushing Records
Rushing Yards
Record: Sam Torenson - 13,957 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: Tatsu Nakamura (#12 - 8,491 yards), Raphtalia Chan or whatever Frost’s name is now (#15 - 6,983 yards), Jamar Lackson (#16 - 6,974 yards), Baby Yoda (#18 - 6,526 yards), Acura Skyline (#21 - 6,185 yards)
A good running back can be run into the ground for a long time to come, but with the rising popularity of committee groups, it might be difficult for any current or future running back to surpass Torenson’s impressive number. If Nakamura can make it another 5 seasons at 1,000 yards per season, he could break the record. I don’t think any of the other actives here stand a chance of breaking it. Nakamura will certainly break the top 10 (currently Apollo Reed - 8,835 yards) and most likely break into the top 5 (currently Forrest Gump - 10,504 yards), but I am not bullish on any of the others. The top of this ladder is very steep, with Torenson already being nearly 1,500 yards ahead of Marquise Brown.
Rushing TDs
Record: Owen Taylor - 123 TDs
Actives currently in the Top 10: Tatsu Nakamura (#5 - 88 TDs)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Frostbite’s Player (#11 - 67 TDs), Baby Yoda (#17 - 55 TDs), Acura Skyline (#18 - 53 TDs), Jamar Lackson (#20 - 48 TDs), Richard Gilbert (#23 - 46 TDs)
As much as I want to say Nakamura will break Owen Taylor’s record, part of me doubts it. If Arizona continues to lean on him, he could get the 35 TDs to break the record in 2-3 seasons, but odds are he regresses to the mean as regression starts to take its toll. Only three running backs this past season even had more than 15 touchdowns, and only 7 players had 10 or more. Taylor made his money on the goal line, putting up the #2 and #3 single season rushing TD seasons of all time. I’m not confident in Nakamura making it to 123, but would be very happy to be wrong!
Receiving Records
Receptions
Record: Paul DiMirio - 1,110 receptions
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: None
I was shocked, shocked I tell you, that no active players are even in the top 25 (currently Johnny Blaze - 622 receptions) of this list. I think the highest active player is Heath Evans (#31 - 595 receptions), with William Lim (#36 - 597 receptions) not far behind. The boomers around here know that Paul DiMirio was a cheat code, playing as a Tight End but on the outside. The sim, in its infinite wisdom, figured that a giant tight end would basically always be open against a cornerback, and so force fed DiMirio the ball. L’Alto’s career totals (#2 - 949 receptions) managed to come without this exploit, and to be fair to DiMirio, he only exploited the sim for a small handful of seasons (three or four? I don’t remember).Only three players have more than 800 receptions (Trey Willie at #3 - 880 receptions), and only 10 have over 700 receptions. Tight End is probably the position to play if you want a lot of catches, but that may be a relic of the old sim. Lim tied the second best single season reception record this past season at 130 receptions, and a handful of new-sim wideouts are now in the top 10 of that list. Perhaps a young wideout will break DiMirio’s seemingly unbreakable record in the next decade?
Receiving Yards
Record: Trey Willie - 14,421 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: William Lim (#25 - 9,025 yards)
William Lim just barely scrapes into this list at #25. This is probably a relic of the wild west days where passing yards were easy to come by, but just like receptions I expect this to change. Lim has already come so close to breaking the single season receiving yards record twice now, and Ed Barker did not come too far back either. It is not quite as dramatic as the receptions numbers are in the new sim, but if a wideout can put together 13 solid seasons they could challenge Willie. The league is so full at the wideout position currently, so it would be a tough task regardless. Lim, benefactor of the Yeeti offense the last few seasons, still has a good 3-4 seasons left in him, and so he will definitely break into the top 10 (currently Shane Weston - 10,823 yards) and very likely even the top 5 (currently Paul DiMirio - 11,522 yards). The top is very heavy here, with Willie nearly 1,000 yards ahead of #2 Bradley Westfield (13,457 yards), who himself is nearly 2,000 yards ahead of #3 Alexandre LeClair (11,718 yards)!
Receiving Touchdowns
Record: Trey Willie - 118 TDs
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: William Lim (#13 - 69 TDs, nice), Ed Barker (#24 - 57 TDs)
Trey Willie is probably safe here too. Could Lim put up 50 TDs in the next four seasons? Sure. But I don’t think I’d bet a lot on that happening. Willie played 12 seasons at a high level, and that is just asking a lot of commitment from a team now. If Lim keeps his starting role through 12 seasons then the record is in threat. Meanwhile, I’d feel pretty good about him breaking into the top 10 (currently Paul DiMirio and James Bishop - 72 TDs) and the top 5 (currently Josh Gardne - 84 TDs), but he would probably be lucky to reach 100 TDs. And that won’t even be good enough for second place.
Defensive Records
Tackles
Record: Quenton Bode - 1,441 tackles
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: Galf Wilf (#19 - 911 tackles)
In the old sim, the middle linebacker was a tackling machine. Players who spent their whole career at MLB would eat tackles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and that’s how Quenton Bode owns this record. Bode is in fact 166 whole tackles ahead of #2 Alex Selich, one of only four players to surpass 1,200 career tackles. Galf Wilf, while certainly a great player, is deep into regression now and will maybe have one more season - two if he’s lucky. A good two seasons will let him break into the top 10 all time (currently Chad Pennington - 1,040 tackles), but he would be lucky to make that having just come off a 63 tackle S29. I don’t know how the new sim era will treat middle linebackers, so Bode may be the last of the great tackle machines.
Tackles for Loss
Record: Nero Alexander - 141 TFLs
Actives currently in the Top 10: Immanuel Blackstone (#3 - 105 TFLs)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Lawrence Bass (#12 - 72 TFLs), Troen Egghands (#12 - 72 TFLs), Mario VonPebbles (#19 - 68 TFLs), Sandro Ryeu (#23 - 62 TFLs)
Hahalua legend Immanuel Blackstone has been racking up TFLs for the past eight seasons, but regression is starting to take its toll. Blackstone only racked up 2 TFLs in S28, which may be due to a scheme change or some mysterious other motives from the Yeti front office, and so I think we can safely say that Nero’s record won’t be touched. Bass, Egghands, VonPebbles, and Ryeu are all starting to hit regression as well, but I wouldn’t be shocked if the first three make it into the top 10 (currently Chidubem Okonkwo and Jayson Kearse - 76 TFLs). The new sim seems to favor linebackers now for TFLs, so it’s unclear what will happen in the future here. Perhaps an edge linebacker will topple Alexander’s record in the future? We should also place all these records with an asterisk, as second place is noted cheater Jayce Tuck (113 TFLs).
Sacks
Record: Dan Miller - 132 sacks
Actives currently in the Top 10: Galf Wilf (#9 - 90 sacks)
Actives currently in the Top 25: No additional players
Recently retirees Bubba Thumper and Thorian Skarsgard came the closest to even breathing on Dan Miller’s record, with both barely scraping past 100 sacks. The top of this list is dominated by early-age defensive ends, back when they got to dominate some really bad human offensive linemen. The advent of the bot OL for many seasons helped drag sack numbers down to Earth, and with actually good human OL now taking center stage it seems that Miller’s mark will never be caught. Perhaps Galf Wilf can make it to the top 5 (Bubba Thumper - 104 sacks), but I wouldn’t bet on it.
Passes Defensed
Record: Dermot Lavelle - 249 PDs
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: Jim Waters (#19 - 143 PDs)
Welcome to the Dermot Lavelle show folks! Senior is widely considered to be the greatest cornerback of all time, but Junior does not fall far from the tree. Still, Lavelle Jr. finished a very distant second, with 49 fewer PDs than his old man. Waters, the only active on this list, is over 100 PDs behind. Waters can definitely make it to the top 10 (currently John Canton and David Rector - 168 PDs), but the top 5 (currently Danny Grithead - 180 PDs) may be unreachable. I will be stunned if this record is ever broken - it may be more unbreakable than any other record on this list.
Interceptions
Record: Dermot Lavelle - 57 interceptions
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: None
Another possibly unbreakable record! Dermot can sleep safe at night, as even his son scraped in at #21st all time (26 interceptions). Even reaching the top 10 (currently Benson Bayley and Vikian Marmeladov - 32 interceptions) is a tough task, with the recently retired David Rector and Richard D’Attoria V coming up just one short at 31. And yet, Dermot Sr. is still over 15 interceptions away. While it is not as dramatic as the PDs record, I think this will also never fall.
Forced Fumbles
Record: Derred de Ville - 20 FF (tied)
Actives currently in the Top 10: Haha Mango-Panda (#7 - 15 FF), Heinrich Kackpoo (#9 - 14 TFL)
Actives currently in the Top 25: James Cho (#15 - 12 FF), Mason Blaylock (#17 - 11 FF), Swantavious Jones (#22 - 10 FF), Troen Egghands (#22 - 10 FF)
WE DID IT EVERYONE! The first career record held by an active player on this list! Technically de Ville is tied with Alex Selich at the top of this list, the Fire Salamanders LB will definitely play at least another season or two and break the tie. Forcing a fumble in the sim is a bit of a crapshoot regardless, but I think we are within our rights to celebrate. Could this record fall? I think so, but I expect de Ville to continue to extend his lead in the near future so it is too soon to tell.
Punting Records
Punt Yards
Record: Dean Jackson - 46,017 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: Venus Powers (#6 - 38,824 yards), Dougie Smalls (#9, 34,544 yards)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Sam Sidekick (#14 - 29,952 yards), Matthew McDairmid (#16 - 29,625 yards), Jacob Small (#20 - 24,467)
Alex D. came oh so close to breaking this record, being short by only 487 yards! Dean Jackson managed to maintain this lead regardless, probably assisted by having 14 games per season while Alex D. only had 13 for much of his career. Powers, being an S20 player, might only have 1 or 2 seasons left in the tank before possibly being replaced, but she is within striking distance of the record. The new sim seems to reserve 4,000 yard punting seasons for only a few players each year, so it will be tough to reach that point without her regressing into retirement. Smalls, Sidekick, and McDairmid are all on similar tracks with Powers, while Jacob Small is about a season behind. Any one of these players could surpass Jackson’s record if they can just fight off regression long enough. The top 10 (currently Stephen Harris - 34,308 yards) is going to be easily attainable for Sidekick, McDairmid, and Small, while the top 5 (currently Alfredo Crisco - 38,887 yards) is a lock for Powers and probably Smalls as well outside of an early retirement.
Punt Average
Record: Matthew McDairmid - 48.171 yards/punt
Actives currently in the Top 10: Dougie Smalls (#5 - 47.063 yards/punt), Venus Powers (#9 - 46.946 yards/punt)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Blago Kokot (46.881 yards/punt), Datsum PhastBawls (#14 - 46.775 yards/punt), Sam Sidekick (#15 - 46.654 yards/punt), Jacob Small (#25 - 45.904 yards/punt)
While McDairmid makes it to be our second active player to hold a career record, we don’t know how long it will last. Efficiency records like this one will fade from view as regression begins to take its toll. Matty is currently averaging about 0.4 yards per punt more than noted multi Chirstiano Ronaldo did, and about 0.6 yards per punt more than HOFer Micycle McCormick did. Ronaldo and McCormick are notable examples here that further prove my point - neither continued punting into regression, as Ronaldo was caught as a multi after playing four seasons and Micycle switched to quarterback after five. Time will tell if McDairmid can continue his historic pace, or if he will regress towards the mean . Dean Jackson, the first long-term punter on this list at #4 (47.1 yards/punt) might be a good benchmark to compare McDairmid’s late career to. Dougie Smalls may too lose his position in the top 5, while Powers may even fall out of the top 10 (currently J.J. Jay-Jaymison - 46.932 yards/punt). Younger players like Kokot might be able to take advantage of this and move up the rankings for a short period of time.
Punts Inside 20
Record: Alex Dasistwirklichseinnachname - 178 punts
Actives currently in the Top 10: Dougie Smalls (#2 - 176 punts), Jacob Small (#3 - 165 punts), Venus Powers (#5 - 155 punts), Matthew McDairmid (#7 - 146 punts), Sam Sidekick (#10 - 138 punts)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Pseudo QB (#21 - 91 punts), Jake Fencik (#22 - 88 punts), Blago Kokot (#24 - 79 punts)
This will be combined with the below...
Inside 20 Rate
Record: Leo Bloomfield - 37.2%
Actives currently in the Top 10: Pretty much every active punter
Actives currently in the Top 25: See above
The new sim LOVES punts inside the 20! There’s not a ton of analysis that I can do here outside of the fact that every member of the top 10 single season performances for punts inside the 20 and the rate of these punts are from the new sim. Throw out the old record books folks, every record for the punt pins will be from the new-sim era!
Kicking Records
Field Goals Made
Record: Alex Dasistwirklichseinnachname - 346 FG
Actives currently in the Top 10: Venus Powers (#5 - 237 FG), Dougie Smalls (#10 - 211 FG)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Matthew McDairmid (#13 - 187 FG), Sam Sidekick (#15 - 183 FG), Jacob Small (#16 - 180 FG), Blago Kokot (#23 - 124 FG), Pseudo QB (#24 - 114 FG), Jake Fencik (#25 - 112 FG)
I think it’s hard to overstate just how wild Alex D’s record is here. He is over 60 field goals ahead of second place Turk Turkleton, and nearly 100 ahead of third and fourth place in Kulture Fulture and Dean Jackson respectively. In order to make this record, you need to be on a good team for a long time, and boy was Alex D on a good team for a long time. In order to catch Alex, Powers would need to go on a record pace in her last few seasons (the single-season record is 42 FGM) to even be in the same ballpark. Dougie Smalls and probably the rest of the gang may as well call it quits as many of them head into regression, and I don’t think another dynasty like the Otters will ever dominate the league in the way they had for so long.
Field Goal Accuracy
Record: Dougie Smalls (93.363%)
Actives currently in the Top 10: Jake Fencik (#2 - 93.333%), Danny King (#4 - 92.958%), Venus Powers (#8 - 92.218%), Matthew McDairmid (#10 - 92.118%)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Jacob Small (#15 - 90.148%), Sam Sidekick (#16 - 90.148%), Blago Kokot (#17 - 89.855%), Armando Galarraga (#20 - 89.286%)
Dougie Smalls and Jake Fencik both hold this record by a hair over Micycle McCormick (#3 - 92.982%), and it will be interesting to see if regression will take its toll on these records. Both Smalls and Fencik had significantly poorer S28 performances relative to their career numbers, and so I would almost be willing to bet that Micycle will be able to regain this record before either ends their career (outside of an early retirement). I don’t think that record will last forever though, but only time will tell.
Extra Points Made
Record: Alex Dasistwirklichseinnachname - 517 XP
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: Venus Powers (#11 - 293 XP), Dougie Smalls (#12 - 292 XP), Jacob Small (#14 - 273 XP), Matthew McDairmid (#19 - 240 XP), Blago Kokot (#24 - 181 XP), Pseudo QB (#25 - 167 XP)
Wrap this one up too. Alex D. has over 200 more converted extra points compared to Powers, thanks to playing on one of the best offenses in history. The record for XP in a season is at 62 - even at that pace, Powers would have to play nearly four whole seasons to tie Alex D. Unless another decade-spanning dynasty shows up, Alex D. can probably hold this record for life.
Special Teams Records
Kick Return Yards
Record: Dermot Lavelle Jr. - 11,250 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: Flash Panada (#16 - 5,954 yards), Frost’s Anime Player (#23 - 5,597 yards)
Return yardage is a fickle beast, as teams now favor players who can reach 95 or 100 speed to play those roles. New players will have difficulty reaching those levels, and so will miss out on perhaps many seasons to gain those yards. Lavelle Jr., on the other hand, demanded as part of his contract to be the starting KR and PR for the team and so was able to amass ridiculous numbers. In fact, the difference between him and second place (his father at 9,093 yards) is more than the difference between #9 Howard Miller (7,070 yards) and #25 Johnny Snuggles (5,406 yards). If anyone wants to even threaten this ranking, they will need to play KR at a disadvantage to their team.
Punt Return Yards
Record: Dermot Lavelle - 3,452 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: Some weird anime chick from Frost (#10 - 1,727 yards)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Flash Panda (#14 - 1,600 yards)
This is just like KR yards, except with less yards to go around. I think Junior lost out to his father for the simple reason that he played on worse teams, and so didn’t get the chance to return too many punts. Players who want to advance up this ranking will need to start at an early time, and it seems that teams just aren’t willing to do that. Dermot actually has nearly twice the amount of PR Yards as #10 Raphtalia Chan or whatever Frost’s name is now - which is just insane to think about.
All-Purpose Records
All Purpose Yards
Record: Ashley Owens - 25,119 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: I’m running out of silly ways to say it’s Frost (#14 - 17,598 yards)
The best way to get this record is to eat up yards from scrimmage as a running back or wide receiver, and then also demand to be a returner. That’s how Ashley Owens was able to topple Reg Mackworthy’s record recently, topped with his incredible record breaking S25 season. With many players waiting to be called up and retiring not long into regression, I don’t know if any other players will be able to challenge Owens at the top of this ranking, though I do know some will try.
Scrimmage Yards
Record: Sam Torenson - 15,855 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: None
Combining rushing and receiving, it’s no surprise that Sam Torenson takes the crown here. Outside of Owens, much of the top of this list made it this far mostly by rushing or receiving. I think this one will stay unbeaten for a long time, as low TPE running backs or wideouts are not highly desired in the league anymore, and so it will be hard to get the bulk numbers needed.
Wrap-Up
While the single-season “unbreakable” passing yards record did manage to fall, I think this league actually has a good amount of records of similar or even higher strength. Many of these like sacks or career passing numbers benefit from the wild west era of the early league, where things weren’t quite balanced yet. With better balance in the sim and the increasing need for higher TPE to get a starting role, I think a lot of career records may actually survive for 10-15 more seasons! Perhaps the 16 game season will help some records fall, but I think it will end up playing a miniscule role.
At the end of S28, the unthinkable happened - Mattathias Caliban broke the single season passing yards record. The old mark of 5,545 yards, set in S5 by the Hall of Famer Mike Boss, was considered for a long time to be completely unbreakable. In fact, even with 2 extra games being played each season since S23, only two other players (New Orleans’ Ben Slothlisberger in S27 and Sarasota’s Dexter Banks II in S24) have even eclipsed the 5,000 yard mark. Caliban barely surpassed Boss’ number in the final week of the season, besting it by 123 yards. Claims of inflated volume or not, what Caliban and the Yeti did this past season was truly incredible.
This got me thinking - there are many records that should be under threat of falling, and so I employed the goodest bot to research how today’s players are progressing towards Career records, and if anyone might be able to best the legends of old.
I just want to note that Offensive Line records won’t be in this article because wolfieBot Dashboards still include BOT offensive linemen. This is a work in progress still, so I don’t want to put it in this article.
Passing Records
Pass Yards
Record: Mike Boss - 42,278 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: George O’Donnell (#18 - 24,858 yards), Monterey Jack (#22 - 22,191 yards), Colby Jack (#23, 21,952 yards), Ben Slothlisberger (#25 - 21,093 yards)
I think it is safe to say that this record will not fall. O’Donnell, who is the closest, is well into regression, and both of the Jack twins and Slothlisberger have just entered it. Any of those three would need to average a very generous 5,000 yards a season for the next four seasons, and even then they wouldn’t surpass Boss. After S32 I think it may be hard for them to maintain a starting role. I expect all four players to break the top 10 (currently Ryan Applehort - 28,497 yards) and probably even the top 5 (currently Wolfie McDummy - 32,568 yards), but I don’t know if they reach 40,000 yards.
Just to put into context how incredible Boss’s record is - he did not even start nine full seasons as the Otters’ quarterback. Plus, he only had the benefit of playing 14 game seasons, while many of today’s players get 16 games a season.
Pass TDs
Record: Mike Boss - 292 TDs
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: Colby Jack (#20 - 145 TDs), George O’Donnell (#22 - 140 TDs), Ben Slothlisberger (#23 - 133 TDs)
Just like his other major passing record, this will definitely not fall any time soon. Taking the four-season lifetime we estimated earlier, Colby Jack would need to average 36.75 TDs per season to surpass Boss. This would mean he’d have to put up the 13th best passing touchdown season of all time for four straight seasons, in regression, just to pass Boss. Reaching the top 10 (currently Corvo Havran - 173 TDs) should be a safe bet for all three of these players, though reaching the top 5 (currently Avon Blocksdale - 225 TDs) will be a challenge.
Pass Completions
Record: Borkus Maximus III - 3,427 completions
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: George O’Donnell (#18 - 2,058 completions), Monterey Jack (#21 - 1,899 completions), Colby Jack (#24 - 1,800 completions)
Woah, a passing record not owned by Mike Boss?! That’s correct! Borkus managed to steal this record by a mere 176 completions. So what if he had 582 more attempts? This record is actually fairly close at the top (unlike the previous two), with Easton Cole not even 100 completions behind Boss, and McDummy another 363 completions behind Cole (with one less season). I actually think that this record will fall soon. The new sim features much more efficient passers, and so all 10 of the top 10 single-season completion records belong to performances in S27 or S28. If we take a fairly reasonable to conservative estimate of 400 completions a season to four seasons for the Jack twins, Monty will just surpass Borkus and Colby will not be too far off. O’Donnell, being one year older, probably won’t break Borkus’ record but will likely break into the top five (currently Cooter Bigsby - 2,773 completions). Given the new sim’s attraction to efficient quarterback play, I expect this record to become an arms race quite soon.
Interceptions
Record: Easton Cole - 141 interceptions
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: George O’Donnell (#17 - 81 interceptions)
This is not going to fall any time soon. Easton played 11 full seasons, with many of his early seasons being on a really bad fresh expansion team. The current climate of the league allows quarterbacks to stay down in the DSFL to *shock* develop more, and so they enter the league much more in tune with how to protect the ball. I wouldn’t be totally shocked if O’Donnell makes it into the top 10 (currently Gus T.T. Showbiz - 95 interceptions), but he definitely won’t make the top 5 (currently Cooter Bigsby - 108 interceptions) unless something goes very wrong.
Rushing Records
Rushing Yards
Record: Sam Torenson - 13,957 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: Tatsu Nakamura (#12 - 8,491 yards), Raphtalia Chan or whatever Frost’s name is now (#15 - 6,983 yards), Jamar Lackson (#16 - 6,974 yards), Baby Yoda (#18 - 6,526 yards), Acura Skyline (#21 - 6,185 yards)
A good running back can be run into the ground for a long time to come, but with the rising popularity of committee groups, it might be difficult for any current or future running back to surpass Torenson’s impressive number. If Nakamura can make it another 5 seasons at 1,000 yards per season, he could break the record. I don’t think any of the other actives here stand a chance of breaking it. Nakamura will certainly break the top 10 (currently Apollo Reed - 8,835 yards) and most likely break into the top 5 (currently Forrest Gump - 10,504 yards), but I am not bullish on any of the others. The top of this ladder is very steep, with Torenson already being nearly 1,500 yards ahead of Marquise Brown.
Rushing TDs
Record: Owen Taylor - 123 TDs
Actives currently in the Top 10: Tatsu Nakamura (#5 - 88 TDs)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Frostbite’s Player (#11 - 67 TDs), Baby Yoda (#17 - 55 TDs), Acura Skyline (#18 - 53 TDs), Jamar Lackson (#20 - 48 TDs), Richard Gilbert (#23 - 46 TDs)
As much as I want to say Nakamura will break Owen Taylor’s record, part of me doubts it. If Arizona continues to lean on him, he could get the 35 TDs to break the record in 2-3 seasons, but odds are he regresses to the mean as regression starts to take its toll. Only three running backs this past season even had more than 15 touchdowns, and only 7 players had 10 or more. Taylor made his money on the goal line, putting up the #2 and #3 single season rushing TD seasons of all time. I’m not confident in Nakamura making it to 123, but would be very happy to be wrong!
Receiving Records
Receptions
Record: Paul DiMirio - 1,110 receptions
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: None
I was shocked, shocked I tell you, that no active players are even in the top 25 (currently Johnny Blaze - 622 receptions) of this list. I think the highest active player is Heath Evans (#31 - 595 receptions), with William Lim (#36 - 597 receptions) not far behind. The boomers around here know that Paul DiMirio was a cheat code, playing as a Tight End but on the outside. The sim, in its infinite wisdom, figured that a giant tight end would basically always be open against a cornerback, and so force fed DiMirio the ball. L’Alto’s career totals (#2 - 949 receptions) managed to come without this exploit, and to be fair to DiMirio, he only exploited the sim for a small handful of seasons (three or four? I don’t remember).Only three players have more than 800 receptions (Trey Willie at #3 - 880 receptions), and only 10 have over 700 receptions. Tight End is probably the position to play if you want a lot of catches, but that may be a relic of the old sim. Lim tied the second best single season reception record this past season at 130 receptions, and a handful of new-sim wideouts are now in the top 10 of that list. Perhaps a young wideout will break DiMirio’s seemingly unbreakable record in the next decade?
Receiving Yards
Record: Trey Willie - 14,421 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: William Lim (#25 - 9,025 yards)
William Lim just barely scrapes into this list at #25. This is probably a relic of the wild west days where passing yards were easy to come by, but just like receptions I expect this to change. Lim has already come so close to breaking the single season receiving yards record twice now, and Ed Barker did not come too far back either. It is not quite as dramatic as the receptions numbers are in the new sim, but if a wideout can put together 13 solid seasons they could challenge Willie. The league is so full at the wideout position currently, so it would be a tough task regardless. Lim, benefactor of the Yeeti offense the last few seasons, still has a good 3-4 seasons left in him, and so he will definitely break into the top 10 (currently Shane Weston - 10,823 yards) and very likely even the top 5 (currently Paul DiMirio - 11,522 yards). The top is very heavy here, with Willie nearly 1,000 yards ahead of #2 Bradley Westfield (13,457 yards), who himself is nearly 2,000 yards ahead of #3 Alexandre LeClair (11,718 yards)!
Receiving Touchdowns
Record: Trey Willie - 118 TDs
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: William Lim (#13 - 69 TDs, nice), Ed Barker (#24 - 57 TDs)
Trey Willie is probably safe here too. Could Lim put up 50 TDs in the next four seasons? Sure. But I don’t think I’d bet a lot on that happening. Willie played 12 seasons at a high level, and that is just asking a lot of commitment from a team now. If Lim keeps his starting role through 12 seasons then the record is in threat. Meanwhile, I’d feel pretty good about him breaking into the top 10 (currently Paul DiMirio and James Bishop - 72 TDs) and the top 5 (currently Josh Gardne - 84 TDs), but he would probably be lucky to reach 100 TDs. And that won’t even be good enough for second place.
Defensive Records
Tackles
Record: Quenton Bode - 1,441 tackles
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: Galf Wilf (#19 - 911 tackles)
In the old sim, the middle linebacker was a tackling machine. Players who spent their whole career at MLB would eat tackles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and that’s how Quenton Bode owns this record. Bode is in fact 166 whole tackles ahead of #2 Alex Selich, one of only four players to surpass 1,200 career tackles. Galf Wilf, while certainly a great player, is deep into regression now and will maybe have one more season - two if he’s lucky. A good two seasons will let him break into the top 10 all time (currently Chad Pennington - 1,040 tackles), but he would be lucky to make that having just come off a 63 tackle S29. I don’t know how the new sim era will treat middle linebackers, so Bode may be the last of the great tackle machines.
Tackles for Loss
Record: Nero Alexander - 141 TFLs
Actives currently in the Top 10: Immanuel Blackstone (#3 - 105 TFLs)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Lawrence Bass (#12 - 72 TFLs), Troen Egghands (#12 - 72 TFLs), Mario VonPebbles (#19 - 68 TFLs), Sandro Ryeu (#23 - 62 TFLs)
Hahalua legend Immanuel Blackstone has been racking up TFLs for the past eight seasons, but regression is starting to take its toll. Blackstone only racked up 2 TFLs in S28, which may be due to a scheme change or some mysterious other motives from the Yeti front office, and so I think we can safely say that Nero’s record won’t be touched. Bass, Egghands, VonPebbles, and Ryeu are all starting to hit regression as well, but I wouldn’t be shocked if the first three make it into the top 10 (currently Chidubem Okonkwo and Jayson Kearse - 76 TFLs). The new sim seems to favor linebackers now for TFLs, so it’s unclear what will happen in the future here. Perhaps an edge linebacker will topple Alexander’s record in the future? We should also place all these records with an asterisk, as second place is noted cheater Jayce Tuck (113 TFLs).
Sacks
Record: Dan Miller - 132 sacks
Actives currently in the Top 10: Galf Wilf (#9 - 90 sacks)
Actives currently in the Top 25: No additional players
Recently retirees Bubba Thumper and Thorian Skarsgard came the closest to even breathing on Dan Miller’s record, with both barely scraping past 100 sacks. The top of this list is dominated by early-age defensive ends, back when they got to dominate some really bad human offensive linemen. The advent of the bot OL for many seasons helped drag sack numbers down to Earth, and with actually good human OL now taking center stage it seems that Miller’s mark will never be caught. Perhaps Galf Wilf can make it to the top 5 (Bubba Thumper - 104 sacks), but I wouldn’t bet on it.
Passes Defensed
Record: Dermot Lavelle - 249 PDs
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: Jim Waters (#19 - 143 PDs)
Welcome to the Dermot Lavelle show folks! Senior is widely considered to be the greatest cornerback of all time, but Junior does not fall far from the tree. Still, Lavelle Jr. finished a very distant second, with 49 fewer PDs than his old man. Waters, the only active on this list, is over 100 PDs behind. Waters can definitely make it to the top 10 (currently John Canton and David Rector - 168 PDs), but the top 5 (currently Danny Grithead - 180 PDs) may be unreachable. I will be stunned if this record is ever broken - it may be more unbreakable than any other record on this list.
Interceptions
Record: Dermot Lavelle - 57 interceptions
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: None
Another possibly unbreakable record! Dermot can sleep safe at night, as even his son scraped in at #21st all time (26 interceptions). Even reaching the top 10 (currently Benson Bayley and Vikian Marmeladov - 32 interceptions) is a tough task, with the recently retired David Rector and Richard D’Attoria V coming up just one short at 31. And yet, Dermot Sr. is still over 15 interceptions away. While it is not as dramatic as the PDs record, I think this will also never fall.
Forced Fumbles
Record: Derred de Ville - 20 FF (tied)
Actives currently in the Top 10: Haha Mango-Panda (#7 - 15 FF), Heinrich Kackpoo (#9 - 14 TFL)
Actives currently in the Top 25: James Cho (#15 - 12 FF), Mason Blaylock (#17 - 11 FF), Swantavious Jones (#22 - 10 FF), Troen Egghands (#22 - 10 FF)
WE DID IT EVERYONE! The first career record held by an active player on this list! Technically de Ville is tied with Alex Selich at the top of this list, the Fire Salamanders LB will definitely play at least another season or two and break the tie. Forcing a fumble in the sim is a bit of a crapshoot regardless, but I think we are within our rights to celebrate. Could this record fall? I think so, but I expect de Ville to continue to extend his lead in the near future so it is too soon to tell.
Punting Records
Punt Yards
Record: Dean Jackson - 46,017 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: Venus Powers (#6 - 38,824 yards), Dougie Smalls (#9, 34,544 yards)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Sam Sidekick (#14 - 29,952 yards), Matthew McDairmid (#16 - 29,625 yards), Jacob Small (#20 - 24,467)
Alex D. came oh so close to breaking this record, being short by only 487 yards! Dean Jackson managed to maintain this lead regardless, probably assisted by having 14 games per season while Alex D. only had 13 for much of his career. Powers, being an S20 player, might only have 1 or 2 seasons left in the tank before possibly being replaced, but she is within striking distance of the record. The new sim seems to reserve 4,000 yard punting seasons for only a few players each year, so it will be tough to reach that point without her regressing into retirement. Smalls, Sidekick, and McDairmid are all on similar tracks with Powers, while Jacob Small is about a season behind. Any one of these players could surpass Jackson’s record if they can just fight off regression long enough. The top 10 (currently Stephen Harris - 34,308 yards) is going to be easily attainable for Sidekick, McDairmid, and Small, while the top 5 (currently Alfredo Crisco - 38,887 yards) is a lock for Powers and probably Smalls as well outside of an early retirement.
Punt Average
Record: Matthew McDairmid - 48.171 yards/punt
Actives currently in the Top 10: Dougie Smalls (#5 - 47.063 yards/punt), Venus Powers (#9 - 46.946 yards/punt)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Blago Kokot (46.881 yards/punt), Datsum PhastBawls (#14 - 46.775 yards/punt), Sam Sidekick (#15 - 46.654 yards/punt), Jacob Small (#25 - 45.904 yards/punt)
While McDairmid makes it to be our second active player to hold a career record, we don’t know how long it will last. Efficiency records like this one will fade from view as regression begins to take its toll. Matty is currently averaging about 0.4 yards per punt more than noted multi Chirstiano Ronaldo did, and about 0.6 yards per punt more than HOFer Micycle McCormick did. Ronaldo and McCormick are notable examples here that further prove my point - neither continued punting into regression, as Ronaldo was caught as a multi after playing four seasons and Micycle switched to quarterback after five. Time will tell if McDairmid can continue his historic pace, or if he will regress towards the mean . Dean Jackson, the first long-term punter on this list at #4 (47.1 yards/punt) might be a good benchmark to compare McDairmid’s late career to. Dougie Smalls may too lose his position in the top 5, while Powers may even fall out of the top 10 (currently J.J. Jay-Jaymison - 46.932 yards/punt). Younger players like Kokot might be able to take advantage of this and move up the rankings for a short period of time.
Punts Inside 20
Record: Alex Dasistwirklichseinnachname - 178 punts
Actives currently in the Top 10: Dougie Smalls (#2 - 176 punts), Jacob Small (#3 - 165 punts), Venus Powers (#5 - 155 punts), Matthew McDairmid (#7 - 146 punts), Sam Sidekick (#10 - 138 punts)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Pseudo QB (#21 - 91 punts), Jake Fencik (#22 - 88 punts), Blago Kokot (#24 - 79 punts)
This will be combined with the below...
Inside 20 Rate
Record: Leo Bloomfield - 37.2%
Actives currently in the Top 10: Pretty much every active punter
Actives currently in the Top 25: See above
The new sim LOVES punts inside the 20! There’s not a ton of analysis that I can do here outside of the fact that every member of the top 10 single season performances for punts inside the 20 and the rate of these punts are from the new sim. Throw out the old record books folks, every record for the punt pins will be from the new-sim era!
Kicking Records
Field Goals Made
Record: Alex Dasistwirklichseinnachname - 346 FG
Actives currently in the Top 10: Venus Powers (#5 - 237 FG), Dougie Smalls (#10 - 211 FG)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Matthew McDairmid (#13 - 187 FG), Sam Sidekick (#15 - 183 FG), Jacob Small (#16 - 180 FG), Blago Kokot (#23 - 124 FG), Pseudo QB (#24 - 114 FG), Jake Fencik (#25 - 112 FG)
I think it’s hard to overstate just how wild Alex D’s record is here. He is over 60 field goals ahead of second place Turk Turkleton, and nearly 100 ahead of third and fourth place in Kulture Fulture and Dean Jackson respectively. In order to make this record, you need to be on a good team for a long time, and boy was Alex D on a good team for a long time. In order to catch Alex, Powers would need to go on a record pace in her last few seasons (the single-season record is 42 FGM) to even be in the same ballpark. Dougie Smalls and probably the rest of the gang may as well call it quits as many of them head into regression, and I don’t think another dynasty like the Otters will ever dominate the league in the way they had for so long.
Field Goal Accuracy
Record: Dougie Smalls (93.363%)
Actives currently in the Top 10: Jake Fencik (#2 - 93.333%), Danny King (#4 - 92.958%), Venus Powers (#8 - 92.218%), Matthew McDairmid (#10 - 92.118%)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Jacob Small (#15 - 90.148%), Sam Sidekick (#16 - 90.148%), Blago Kokot (#17 - 89.855%), Armando Galarraga (#20 - 89.286%)
Dougie Smalls and Jake Fencik both hold this record by a hair over Micycle McCormick (#3 - 92.982%), and it will be interesting to see if regression will take its toll on these records. Both Smalls and Fencik had significantly poorer S28 performances relative to their career numbers, and so I would almost be willing to bet that Micycle will be able to regain this record before either ends their career (outside of an early retirement). I don’t think that record will last forever though, but only time will tell.
Extra Points Made
Record: Alex Dasistwirklichseinnachname - 517 XP
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: Venus Powers (#11 - 293 XP), Dougie Smalls (#12 - 292 XP), Jacob Small (#14 - 273 XP), Matthew McDairmid (#19 - 240 XP), Blago Kokot (#24 - 181 XP), Pseudo QB (#25 - 167 XP)
Wrap this one up too. Alex D. has over 200 more converted extra points compared to Powers, thanks to playing on one of the best offenses in history. The record for XP in a season is at 62 - even at that pace, Powers would have to play nearly four whole seasons to tie Alex D. Unless another decade-spanning dynasty shows up, Alex D. can probably hold this record for life.
Special Teams Records
Kick Return Yards
Record: Dermot Lavelle Jr. - 11,250 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: Flash Panada (#16 - 5,954 yards), Frost’s Anime Player (#23 - 5,597 yards)
Return yardage is a fickle beast, as teams now favor players who can reach 95 or 100 speed to play those roles. New players will have difficulty reaching those levels, and so will miss out on perhaps many seasons to gain those yards. Lavelle Jr., on the other hand, demanded as part of his contract to be the starting KR and PR for the team and so was able to amass ridiculous numbers. In fact, the difference between him and second place (his father at 9,093 yards) is more than the difference between #9 Howard Miller (7,070 yards) and #25 Johnny Snuggles (5,406 yards). If anyone wants to even threaten this ranking, they will need to play KR at a disadvantage to their team.
Punt Return Yards
Record: Dermot Lavelle - 3,452 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: Some weird anime chick from Frost (#10 - 1,727 yards)
Actives currently in the Top 25: Flash Panda (#14 - 1,600 yards)
This is just like KR yards, except with less yards to go around. I think Junior lost out to his father for the simple reason that he played on worse teams, and so didn’t get the chance to return too many punts. Players who want to advance up this ranking will need to start at an early time, and it seems that teams just aren’t willing to do that. Dermot actually has nearly twice the amount of PR Yards as #10 Raphtalia Chan or whatever Frost’s name is now - which is just insane to think about.
All-Purpose Records
All Purpose Yards
Record: Ashley Owens - 25,119 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: I’m running out of silly ways to say it’s Frost (#14 - 17,598 yards)
The best way to get this record is to eat up yards from scrimmage as a running back or wide receiver, and then also demand to be a returner. That’s how Ashley Owens was able to topple Reg Mackworthy’s record recently, topped with his incredible record breaking S25 season. With many players waiting to be called up and retiring not long into regression, I don’t know if any other players will be able to challenge Owens at the top of this ranking, though I do know some will try.
Scrimmage Yards
Record: Sam Torenson - 15,855 yards
Actives currently in the Top 10: None
Actives currently in the Top 25: None
Combining rushing and receiving, it’s no surprise that Sam Torenson takes the crown here. Outside of Owens, much of the top of this list made it this far mostly by rushing or receiving. I think this one will stay unbeaten for a long time, as low TPE running backs or wideouts are not highly desired in the league anymore, and so it will be hard to get the bulk numbers needed.
Wrap-Up
While the single-season “unbreakable” passing yards record did manage to fall, I think this league actually has a good amount of records of similar or even higher strength. Many of these like sacks or career passing numbers benefit from the wild west era of the early league, where things weren’t quite balanced yet. With better balance in the sim and the increasing need for higher TPE to get a starting role, I think a lot of career records may actually survive for 10-15 more seasons! Perhaps the 16 game season will help some records fall, but I think it will end up playing a miniscule role.
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