(S29) PT 1 - Training Camp

[Pancakes]

[ReverendOReily]

Hooray! Training camp season is upon us, which can only mean one thing: it’s just about to be Otter season! Richard Leaking, well rested after his vacation to Iceland and the Bermuda Triangle, is elated to be able to spend some time with his teammates and managers again and get back in shape. When Dick pulled into the team parking lot in his 1966 Corvette, he was one of the first people on the team to arrive, except of course for Garfield Despacito Jr. who arrives 2 hours early to every team event to make sure Owen Holloway’s shoes are properly shined for the post game press conference. First up, Leaking and his fellow defensive backs, led by team boomers Prince Vegeta and Brandon Booker, ran drills on the field. Next, they practiced defensive plays against the offense, where the cornerbacks primarily focused on trying to get inside of Suleiman Ramza’s head and pin down the deadly duo of Holloway and Despacito while strong safety Eugene Smoothie tried to come to grips with the fact that he would now have to tackle his former defensive pal Goat Tank in practice. For the sake of Smoothie, and all defensive Otters, we can only hope Goat Tank isn’t smelling particularly goat-y when we go to tackle him. I hear his Tank roots are pretty strong, anyway.

[dogwoodmaple]

PBE affiliate

[MobiausGrander]

Welp! Another year, another season of the ISFL. I can't believe it has been over 6 seasons I have been in the league! As I remind myself of that fact, I attended training camp for this season last week. This training camp seemed like the usual routine ones I had many times before, but this one seemed a little different in the approach to practice. Like all previous training camps, everyone on the team showed up early and ready to improve ourselves in order to gear up for another season. However, to help us train a little bit better, each member decided to flip to the other side of the ball with respect to their position for several hours each day of camp in order to help diversify and broaden each member's skillset to not only make us more well-rounded as a team but also to help build camaraderie to help understand the both sides of the ball. On that note, we came up with a few secret plays that should help us be more explosive offensively and for when we are in a clutch time situation and need to bust it out when needed! I hope we don't need to use these moves too often this coming season!

[SwankyPants31]

Richard Gilbert entered training camp with a bit of a chip on his shoulder this season. There was a single word he kept hearing, nagging at the back of his mind constantly. It wasn’t a word he would use to describe himself, but it was a word he had read repeatedly about himself from other people all throughout the previous season and even into the offseason. That word was “underutilized”. Throughout the media, from mock drafts to fantasy football previews people would question the Colorado Yeti’s usage of the running back who had just completed the last of his “prime” seasons before hitting regression. The truth of the matter was that Gilbert was being utilized just fine, only differently than what most people seemed to expect or look for. Gilbert excelled and was extremely valuable in the passing game. While most people would point to his “only” 450 receiving yards and 4 TDs as a counterpoint to that, his value comes from his blocking, not his receiving ability. In the prior season, Gilbert tallied 59 pancakes, which was not only the most out of any non offensive linemen, but was also a season record for running backs. Knowing his career would be coming to a close sooner than later at this point, Gilbert was motivated to come back and prove to the league that he still had it in him, and it was all going to start at training camp.

[UltimateYeehaw]

The Baltimore Hawks training camp that took place over the off season could be described by two words: shit show. The wild antics of the S28 first rounders truly proved to create an interesting environment for their GMs and teammates. Starting with the antics of everyone’s favorite goose, Busch Goose continuously demanded bread crumbs from Luke Quick every morning at camp. While this was no different from the regular season, Quick forgot to bring those crumbs two days in a row, prompting the goose to refuse to play. Their arguing only worsened when Chunt The Badger stepped in. Chunt spent the days of camp training as hard as he could but at night, would party like there was no tomorrow. Smelling like fresh booze and mints, the Badger would attempt to mediate but only get upset because he too wanted the sweet taste of Quick’s bread crumbs. These three bafoons were constantly being one upped by their fearless leader, Maui Waialiki who showed up to camp one hour early and had some of the most impressive plays out of the team. No question, he was incredible. However, Maui was also a big part in getting the team to come together by the end of camp. He would host a lavish dinner at the end of camp where everyone could finally relax and enjoy themselves. The Hawks were even able to come up with a top secret play but that will only be revealed after it is used against the Silverbacks (something about Chunt wanting to destroy some players on that team, I honestly don’t know.)

[firstfray]

Well, well with training camp underway we all know those who show up at 5:30 am and those who barely show up in time for the first team meeting. Of course I need to mention the hard working Troy Abed. Troy and I started out as rookies together and we have gotten pretty close. Training in the offseason together, going on trips every now and then and being captains for the team in our second year. But boy I really don't know how he gets up so early to train. By the time I get to the facility at 7 am he's already on his 3rd workout! But in all seriousness, he is the hardest worker I have ever got to call a teammate. His entire career as a Coyote is a testament to that. He came in as a rookie expected to lead the team as the QB1 and now for this season he was asked to switch to a wide receiver for the team. I can tell you that this guy put in so much time and effort to work on his catching and route running. Now on the flip side we got my boy Siege Cameron who loves sleep so much that I don't think he's ever shown up early to a team meeting. But that obviously doesn't affect how he plays because he really balls out on the field.

[furiousPanda]

Training day is finally here in the ISFL. Many rookie hopefuls, veterans ready to prove doubters wrong and a sprinkle of lazy bones at camp. For McKyle, it is a typical practice he has been a part of since his first year of college. Flew into San Jose the night before after slamming Moscow mules and tequila shots, he is ready. Well, somewhat. Arriving in camp he cannot find his lighter for a cigarette. As the team started to take laps around the field, he finally said “Fuck it.” and took out a blow torch from the trunk of his car to light the damn thing. Quickly, he joined the team for warm ups while taking drags from the cig. The day consisted of the rookies meeting the vets and coaching staff. Even the general manager showed up for a little one on one time. CK came up to McKyle and said “You know you’re going to be the face of the franchise”. As he finished the sentence McKyle hurled vomit that smelled like death next to Ck and said  “Thanks Boss”. The training drills were fairly easy. McKyle was showing off his arm strength to Cheeseman while shouting “Check this out old fart!”, and missing the target by 20 yards. “Hell yeah” said McKyle, “I’m ready for the season!” Most of the wide receiver team just shook their heads.

Code:

230 wurds

[Trashae]

SHL Affiliate

[StamkosFan]

At this point, us regressing veterans know we will be too tired by the end of the year if we hit the ground running, so I can say Thomas Passmann is one of those guys showing up late to camp. His vampiric strength is weaning in his old age, and he isn’t quite up to par. He is taking it easy, just trying to keep up his conditioning to maintain the legendary speed the Outlaws depend on from him. His coaches have discussed some new plays to run, as well as giving some of the newer guys bigger roles to cover for the regressing S22 wide receiver. One of our new secret plays is to actually have our quarterback run the ball more, and to do a really complicated fake out that will hopefully dupe the defense on the other team. But at the end of the day, it is about building chemistry, bonding with your teammates, and kicking back for a beer after a long practice; the real point of training camp, at risk of sounding hella cheesy, is the friends you make along the way. The Outlaws are closer than ever and ready to have a killer season, and that kind of spirit gives teams the drive to win games. Passmann is coming out of camp driven as ever and ready to beat the crap out of the rest of the league.