08-09-2021, 06:10 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-11-2021, 08:36 PM by Crunk. Edited 1 time in total.)
S30 Halfway - The Top 3 Players at (Almost) Every Position
by HasumiKi | Word Count: 3,697
We're halfway through S30 of the DSFL, and it's been a wild ride thus far. With close games (and a tie) to big upsets, I want to take a look at the players that have proven they're contenders and frontrunners for player of the year at their respective positions, and also take a look at how they've impacted the game.
A disclaimer: This is 99% opinion. I want to highlight players that have stepped up in a big way, and I don't intend to put anyone down by not including them on the list. Please know this is all for the sake of mathematics and fun, so let's jump into it!
(Note: I am not ranking bots, because they’re bots. C’mon, man.)
Quarterback
The QB position is one of, if not the most important position on the field. They decide where to go with the ball and whether to tuck it and run or heave a bomb downfield. While passing yards are always a good indicator, you've also got to take a look at their completion percentage and TD/INT ratio. With that being said, here's the top 3 QBs in the DSFL.
3. Dexter Zaylren, Bondi Beach Buccaneers (158/261, 1946 yds, 17/8 TD/INT)
Zaylren has been a force to be reckoned with so far. With the second-most touchdowns and 4th-most yards, Zaylren consistently puts up stats that make fantasy owners quite happy. While his interceptions could use some work, Zaylren all around has a skill set to do really well through the rest of the season and into his ISFL career.
2. Kazimir Oles, Jr., Minnesota Grey Ducks (141/229, 2177 yds, 15/6 TD/INT)
Under the leadership of Oles, Minnesota came out of the season blazing quick and establishing themselves as frontrunners to repeat as Ultimini champions. Posting 311 YPG, Oles is on track to smash his career best 4,094 passing yards, set last year. Oles is also doing extremely well at staying efficient, posting a completion percentage of 61.6% and a passer rating of 103.9, both second place in the league. Despite the hiccup in Week 7, Oles has this team poised to make another deep run.
1. Ricky Stanzi, Dallas Birddogs (174/285, 2369 yds, 19/9 TD/INT)
There's no doubt Stanzi has established himself as the best QB so far and a candidate for MVP. Despite his nine interceptions being second in the league, Stanzi has still posted a wonderful completion percentage of 61.1%, as well as a league-leading 2,369 yards. Keeping this pace would not only break, but absolutely demolish the league record set by Joliet Christ Jr. at 4,103. Stanzi has also done a beautiful job at finding the end zone, leading the league with 19 touchdown throws this year. A bright spot on an otherwise slightly disappointing Dallas team.
Honorable Mention - Panda McKyle, Portland Pythons (99/159, 1406 yds, 14/3 TD/INT)
Make no mistake when you see McKyle's numbers, he's been the most efficient quarterback in the league thus far. The only thing holding McKyle back from being a frontrunner for MVP is the opportunities. McKyle has only 159 pass attempts so far, well behind the other QBs on this list with 250 or more (aside from Oles' 229). In those 159 attempts, McKyle has completed 62.3% of them as well as posting a passer rating of 112.3 to complement the TD/INT ratio of 14/3. These numbers are incredible, and there's no doubt that when McKyle needs to play, he comes through.
Runningback
The brute force of any team, a runningback needs to be able to play with fire and push through when they're tired. Which RBs have been able to shoulder the ground game for their team? Let's take a look:
3. Miracle Whip, Tijuana Luchadores (814 yds, 4.8 YPC, 3 TDs)
The rushing yards leader in 3rd place on this list? Yes, which shows how good the group of runningbacks in the league is right now. Whip does truly perform miracles, and is able to rack up the yards. What holds him back is unfortunately a large number of touchdowns being taken by teammates ReallyInvisible and Burner, otherwise Miracle Whip would easily be at the top of this list.
2. Noah Johns and Jax Baker, Portland Pythons (634 yds, 5.4 YPC, 3 TDs | 539 yds, 5.3 YPC, 5 TDs)
Is it unfair to put two runningbacks together in a package? Maybe a little, but the Portland rushing attack is two-headed, and to put one of these excellent backs in while leaving another out would discredit it superbly. It's no secret the running game has been Portland's go-to, as the team's combined 1,233 yards puts them in first place in the league. There are only two runningbacks in the league with at least 5.0 ypc (min. 100 attempts) and both of them form Portland's dual threat backfield. They're only a half-game back of Minnesota for the lead in the North, and it'll be on the backs of the run game if Portland is going to win an Ultimini.
1. John Huntsman, Minnesota Grey Ducks (744 yds, 4.8 YPC, 11 TDs)
Huntsman is, to be blunt, a touchdown machine. With 11 touchdowns, not only is that more than any other runningback in the league, it’s more than any team in the league. The offensive attack for Minnesota is easily top-tier in the league, and it’s the main reason why they’ve bolted to a 6-1 record on the season, posting 33 points/game. Huntsman will be a threat going forward, and there’s no doubt he can be a contender for MVP.
Wide Receiver
The wide receiver position is tough to grade based on how well the cornerbacks play and the separation, but I do still think there are a few WRs that stand out above the rest.
3. Cliff Burton, Dallas Birddogs (737 yds, 16.8 avg, 8 TDs)
Burton has been a great wideout for the Birddogs so far this season, hauling in 8 touchdowns as well as an exceptional 16.8 yards per catch. Cliff is a reliable player in the red zone, and has helped Dallas score when they need one most.
2. Ivan Toastovich, Dallas Birddogs (794 yds, 16.9 avg, 5 TDs)
The reason I didn’t put Toastovich and Burton together like I did Baker and Johns is the different in ability to separate. Toastovich has been able to clear away from defenders, having much less targets defended or picked off by opposing cornerbacks. Aside from this, Toastovich also boasts a solid 16.9 avg to go along with 5 TDs.
1. Mason Malone, Minnesota Grey Ducks (811 yds, 17.6 avg, 3 TDs)
Despite lacking in the touchdown area, Malone’s blistering 17.6 yards per catch and their league-leading 811 yards put them clear into first, especially when you consider touches are also split between the leagues’s best back in Huntsman. Malone has been a nightmare for opposing cornerbacks to cover and it’s no surprise they take the top spot here.
Honorable Mention - Squidward Tentacles, Bondi Beach Buccaneers (762 yds, 14.4 avg, 9 TDs)
No other honorable mention has more of a case to crack the top three than Tentacles does. He leads the league in touchdowns as well as being top-3 in total yards, but he just doesn’t have the ability to create extra-long YAC like other receivers do. Excluding his season-long 83 yard catch against the Grey Ducks earlier this season, Tentacles’ yards per catch average drops to 13. Not shabby by any means, but far from the production of my top 3.
Tight End
I didn’t include tight ends in the WR category for the sole reason that receiving is not the sole job of a tight end. They must also be able to block well, and that will come into play when determining these rankings.
3. Donkey Johnson, London Royals (184 yds, 0 TDs, 22 pancakes, 1 sack allowed)
Johnson is definitely more of a blocking tight end than a receiving one, but it’s also clear that he is the best TE in the league at blocking. With a league-leading 22 pancakes, and only one sack allowed, Donkey Johnson is a reliable blocker and a solid asset to get London’s run game going.
2. Anthony MacGuire, Dallas Birddogs (266 yds, 2 TDs, 16 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed)
MacGuire has done an incredible job on both sides of the TE job, racking up the second-most yards and TDs among tight ends, as well as posting a solid 16 pancakes and allowing not one sack yet on the season. MacGuire has the skills to dominate in this league in the coming seasons.
1. Gronku Muerto, Tijuana Luchadores (384 yds, 5 TDs, 20 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed)
Was there any doubt? Muerto has been an absolute force for the Luchadores this year, blitzing the rest of the league in yards and TDs among TEs, as well as posting a yards per catch average of 12.4, by and large the best in the league. However, Muerto also excels in a blocking role, allowing no sacks and posting 20 pancakes, good for second in the league thus far. There is absolutely no doubt that Muerto is the cream of the crop for tight ends, and he’ll be a force to be reckoned with through his career.
Offensive Line
The offensive line is a position group that goes highly unrewarded in the league, providing the time for quarterbacks and runningbacks to excel in the backfield. Which linemen have been a pure brick wall this year? Let’s find out:
3. Pepelegs Johnson, Bondi Beach Buccaneers (30 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed)
Pepelegs Johnson is the only non-bot player on the Bondi O-Line, but that isn’t stopping him from holding down the fort. With 30 pancakes and no sacks allowed, Pepelegs is a centerpiece to the team and is pulling his weight and more this season.
2. Tay Heenie, Portland Pythons (36 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed)
With 36 pancakes, Heenie is a BIG reason why the Portland running game has been so dominant this year. They’re on track to break their personal record of 63 pancakes in a season, and with some good effort they’re well on their way to break it.
1. Clifford Wilson, Norfolk Seawolves (47 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed)
Step aside, rest of the league. Wilson is the most dominant player at any position this season, posting a whopping 47 pancakes over the first half of the season, all without allowing a single sack. He’s set his eyes on the league record, and with an average of 6.7 pancakes/game, Mar Lee’s current record of 74 seems to be all but lost at this point. Wilson has been a shining start for the Seawolves this seasons as they try to work their way out of the cellar in the South.
Defensive Line
On the other side of the ball, we have big guys just as eager to tackle a ball carrier as the offensive lineman are to eat some pancakes. The defensive line needs to be a force to stop the backs so that they don’t rip big runs.
3. Rocco Blade, DE, Portland Pythons (28 tck, 4 TFL, 3 sacks, 1 FF, 1 FR)
Blade has thus far been the best defensive end in the league, posting a solid 28 tackles as well as 3 sacks and forcing a fumble. It’s clear that Portland has a nose for good lineman, and Blade is another talent that is going to blossom into a superstar in the league.
2. R.L. Stine, DT, Portland Pythons (40 tck, 2 TFL)
Remember what I said about Portland having a nose for lineman? How about the league leader in tackles among defensive lineman? Stine has posted a whopping 40 tackles to this point in the season, and along with 2 tackles for loss, Stine has been excellent at plugging holes in the line and helps make Portland’s defensive line one of the best in the league.
1. Prof. Godfrey Gravity, DT, Kansas City Coyotes (38 tck, 1 TFL, 2 sacks, 2 FF)
Prof. Gravity has been an excellent foundation in the center of the Kansas City D-Line, having the second-most tackles among defensive lineman as well as showing a talent to make it to the quarterback with his two sacks. And with 2 forced fumbles so far on the season, Prof. Gravity has made it clear who runs the line of scrimmage, as they’re a force to be reckoned with all around the line.
Honorable Mentions
Nep Neppy, DT, Norfolk Seawolves (32 tck, 1 TFL, 2 FF)
Neppy has been great at stopping the run this season and has shown that they can strip a ball easily. Once Neppy shows that they can get to the QB often, they’ll be a contender for defensive lineman of the year.
Morpheus Czargyros, DE, Minnesota Grey Ducks (22 tck, 3 TFL, 6 sacks)
Czargyros doesn’t have as many tackles as the others on this list, but with a league-leading 6 sacks, his ability to make it to the QB cannot go unmentioned. Czargyros has been a great edge piece for a championship team in the Grey Ducks.
Linebacker
The linebackers are the field generals of the defense, and they’re usually in the center of every play. Which players have been able to capitalize on their opportunities and take control of a game?
3. Luke Watterson, Dallas Birddogs (61 tck, 6 TFL, 3 sacks, 2 PD, 1 FF)
Watterson has been excellent on the defensive side of the ball thus far for the Birddogs, and with 61 tackles he is third league-wide. He also shows good ability to get in the backfield with 6 TFLs as well as an ability to play the pass well, knocking down two passes.
2. Elliot Hord, Portland Pythons (64 tck, 4 TFL, 4 sacks, 1 PD, 1 FF)
Hord is currently tied for the league lead on tackles, and with 4 sacks and 3 passes defended, he shows an uncanny ability to be everywhere on the field at once. Nowhere is safe with Hord on defense, and he’s been a reliable centerpiece to a good Dallas defense.
1. Sconnie McHits, Norfolk Seawolves (64 tck, 1 TFL, 2 FF, 1 FR, 1 INT, 1 TD)
Where McHits lacks in sacks and TFLs, he makes up for it with his ability to force turnovers. Aside from co-leading the league in tackles, McHits showed his speed and athleticism with an 89-yard pick six in week 7 against the Grey Ducks, and with 2 forced fumbles and one fumble recovered, McHits shows his ability to get the defense off the field for the offense to make plays.
Cornerback
Cornerbacks are tasked with defending some of the most athletics players on the field in the wide receivers. Being able to knock down passes and waste a down for the offense is an ability every cornerback needs if they want to be a top pass defender in the league.
3. Guy Gibson, Bondi Beach Buccaneers (45 tck, 2 INT, 14 PD, 1 TD)
Gibson is chasing the title of CBOTY and as the league co-leader in passes defended, he’s proven to be a lockdown corner for the Bucs. With a pick-six against the Birddogs in Week 3, Gibson is one of only nine players to score a defensive touchdown this year, proving to be an offensive asset as well.
2. The Laz, Portland Pythons (47 tck, 2 INT, 14 PD, 1 TD)
Statline look familiar? With a couple more tackles, The Laz is slightly ahead of Gibson in the race for CBOTY. Laz has certainly made their mark on the defensive side as well, with 14 passes defended and a pick six of their own against the Seawolves in week 5. A top CB prospect in the league last year, the Sabercats may have gotten a steal in the second round.
1. Owen Reed, Minnesota Grey Ducks (54 tck, 3 INT, 12 PD, 1 TD, 3 FF, 1 FR)
Reed is the clear frontrunner for CBOTY at this point. Leading the league in tackles among cornerbacks, Reed has shown astounding prowess at hunting down the ball carrier. He also excels at forcing turnovers, forcing 3 fumbles, recovering one, as well as picking off 3 passes. As is the trend, Reed has a pick six as well, taking his in week 6 against the Buccaneers.
Honorable Mention - Tessie Garciaparra, Kansas City Coyotes (42 tck, 2 INT, 11 PD, 2 FF, 2 FR)
Oh, I REALLY wanted to flex my own stats in this analysis, but Garciaparra has done too well to leave off. While they don’t have a pick 6 or as many passes defended as the league leaders, forcing 2 fumbles and recovering both is no easy feat. Garciaparra is one of the best in the league at creating turnovers and does an excellent job at getting Kansas City’s offense back on the field.
Safety
The last line of defense, the safeties thrive on the long ball. While they don’t get to put up as many stats as other positions, they are super important when defending strong arm quarterbacks and preventing the deep ball TD. This one has definitely been the toughest to grade, as so many safeties have made a case to be the best.
3. Fuzzy George, SS, Minnesota Grey Ducks (29 tck, 1 sack, 4 PD, 1 FF)
George leads the league in tackles among safeties, and with a sack and forced fumble, George shows a knack for stopping the ball carrier. With 4 passes defended as well, George excels at stopping the long ball as well, and is a good last line for the Grey Duck defense.
2. Richard Mansher, FS, Dallas Birddogs (28 tck, 3 PD, 1 INT, 1 FF, 1 FR)
Mansher shows a keen eye at the back of the Birddog defense, with 3 passes defended and an interception to boot. Their forced fumble and recovery along with 28 tackles show that Mansher is great at playing all around and forcing turnovers.
1. Fitted Cuddles, FS, Kansas City Coyotes (27 tck, 1 sack, 4 PD, 2 INT, 4 FF, 1 FR)
Cuddles is an assembly line of statistics, and with 4 forced fumbles and 2 interceptions, they are a turnover machine on defense. Not only this, but with a sack and 27 tackles, Cuddles is also excellent at stopping the play and being able to play all around the defensive side of the ball.
Honorable Mentions
Siaosi Multiauaopele, SS, Portland Pythons (27 tck, 2 sacks, 1 PD, 3 FF, 1 FR)
Multiauaopele has done an excellent job against ground attacks this year, with 27 tackles, 2 sacks, 3 forced fumbles, and one fumble recovery. What’s holding Siaosi back from cracking the top 3 is showing a lack of ability to consistently play the air ball, with only one pass defended and no interceptions to show on the year. That aside, they’ve done a great job on the ground so far this year.
Jet King, FS, London Royals (28 tck, 2 sacks, 2 PD)
King has quietly been a very solid back piece for the Royals, showing a good knack for breaking up passes, with two defenses on the year, as well as being able to get in the backfield for 28 tackles and 2 sacks. King’s got some work to do to catch up to the leaders, but don’t count them out yet.
Kicker
The kicking role is a niche one, to be sure, but a team needs a good kicker to be able to get them points when the offense can’t quite make it to the end zone, and to get the extra point as well, which can make or break a game.
3. Levy Tate, Minnesota Grey Ducks (28/28 XPM, 11/13 FGM, Long 44)
Tate has been the most consistent kicker this year, only missing two field goals. They do benefit from having the best offense in the league, as they have only attempted one kick from beyond 50 yards out this year. Their accuracy is great, but the lack of solid leg power behind their kicks leaves them away from the top spot.
2. Billy Doorknob, London Royals (14/15 XPM, 5/5 FGM, Long 52)
Only appearing in 6 games this year, Doorknob has done a good job at making it count when his team needs him. He’s had to split some time with Rainbow Dash, but overall Doorknob’s 52-yarder is the third longest thus far in the league (Toy Robot has the top two).
1. Ikick Ballz, Tijuana Luchadores (22/22 XPM, 12/15 FGM, Long 49)
Ballz has been one of the most consistent kickers this season, and have shown a good mix of accuracy and power, going 5/8 beyond 40 yards. Ballz will have to try to increase his leg power if he wants to keep this top spot before season’s end.
Honorable Mention - Toy Robot, Portland Pythons (24/25 XPM, 8/14 FGM, Long 55)
Toy Robot has an absolute cannon of a leg, which is shown in their long of 55 this year. They are also the only kicker who has made multiple kicks from 50+ yards away, but their accuracy leaves something to be desired. One of only three kickers to miss a FG this year, their FG accuracy is also the lowest in the league at 57%, which leaves them on the outside looking in for top 3.
Those are the lists thus far this season! It’s been a trip staring at the index for hours on end, but I think I did a good job at ranking the tight matchups. Here’s to seven more weeks of hard competition!
Totals by Team:
Top 3s
- 7*
- 6
- 6
- 3
- 3
- 2
- 2
- 2
* - Jax Baker and Noah Johns are counted separately here for the Pythons, despite sharing a spot in the rankings.
Honorable Mentions
- 3
- 1
- 1
- 1
- 1
- 1
- 0
- 0
by HasumiKi | Word Count: 3,697
We're halfway through S30 of the DSFL, and it's been a wild ride thus far. With close games (and a tie) to big upsets, I want to take a look at the players that have proven they're contenders and frontrunners for player of the year at their respective positions, and also take a look at how they've impacted the game.
A disclaimer: This is 99% opinion. I want to highlight players that have stepped up in a big way, and I don't intend to put anyone down by not including them on the list. Please know this is all for the sake of mathematics and fun, so let's jump into it!
(Note: I am not ranking bots, because they’re bots. C’mon, man.)
Quarterback
The QB position is one of, if not the most important position on the field. They decide where to go with the ball and whether to tuck it and run or heave a bomb downfield. While passing yards are always a good indicator, you've also got to take a look at their completion percentage and TD/INT ratio. With that being said, here's the top 3 QBs in the DSFL.
3. Dexter Zaylren, Bondi Beach Buccaneers (158/261, 1946 yds, 17/8 TD/INT)
Zaylren has been a force to be reckoned with so far. With the second-most touchdowns and 4th-most yards, Zaylren consistently puts up stats that make fantasy owners quite happy. While his interceptions could use some work, Zaylren all around has a skill set to do really well through the rest of the season and into his ISFL career.
2. Kazimir Oles, Jr., Minnesota Grey Ducks (141/229, 2177 yds, 15/6 TD/INT)
Under the leadership of Oles, Minnesota came out of the season blazing quick and establishing themselves as frontrunners to repeat as Ultimini champions. Posting 311 YPG, Oles is on track to smash his career best 4,094 passing yards, set last year. Oles is also doing extremely well at staying efficient, posting a completion percentage of 61.6% and a passer rating of 103.9, both second place in the league. Despite the hiccup in Week 7, Oles has this team poised to make another deep run.
1. Ricky Stanzi, Dallas Birddogs (174/285, 2369 yds, 19/9 TD/INT)
There's no doubt Stanzi has established himself as the best QB so far and a candidate for MVP. Despite his nine interceptions being second in the league, Stanzi has still posted a wonderful completion percentage of 61.1%, as well as a league-leading 2,369 yards. Keeping this pace would not only break, but absolutely demolish the league record set by Joliet Christ Jr. at 4,103. Stanzi has also done a beautiful job at finding the end zone, leading the league with 19 touchdown throws this year. A bright spot on an otherwise slightly disappointing Dallas team.
Honorable Mention - Panda McKyle, Portland Pythons (99/159, 1406 yds, 14/3 TD/INT)
Make no mistake when you see McKyle's numbers, he's been the most efficient quarterback in the league thus far. The only thing holding McKyle back from being a frontrunner for MVP is the opportunities. McKyle has only 159 pass attempts so far, well behind the other QBs on this list with 250 or more (aside from Oles' 229). In those 159 attempts, McKyle has completed 62.3% of them as well as posting a passer rating of 112.3 to complement the TD/INT ratio of 14/3. These numbers are incredible, and there's no doubt that when McKyle needs to play, he comes through.
Runningback
The brute force of any team, a runningback needs to be able to play with fire and push through when they're tired. Which RBs have been able to shoulder the ground game for their team? Let's take a look:
3. Miracle Whip, Tijuana Luchadores (814 yds, 4.8 YPC, 3 TDs)
The rushing yards leader in 3rd place on this list? Yes, which shows how good the group of runningbacks in the league is right now. Whip does truly perform miracles, and is able to rack up the yards. What holds him back is unfortunately a large number of touchdowns being taken by teammates ReallyInvisible and Burner, otherwise Miracle Whip would easily be at the top of this list.
2. Noah Johns and Jax Baker, Portland Pythons (634 yds, 5.4 YPC, 3 TDs | 539 yds, 5.3 YPC, 5 TDs)
Is it unfair to put two runningbacks together in a package? Maybe a little, but the Portland rushing attack is two-headed, and to put one of these excellent backs in while leaving another out would discredit it superbly. It's no secret the running game has been Portland's go-to, as the team's combined 1,233 yards puts them in first place in the league. There are only two runningbacks in the league with at least 5.0 ypc (min. 100 attempts) and both of them form Portland's dual threat backfield. They're only a half-game back of Minnesota for the lead in the North, and it'll be on the backs of the run game if Portland is going to win an Ultimini.
1. John Huntsman, Minnesota Grey Ducks (744 yds, 4.8 YPC, 11 TDs)
Huntsman is, to be blunt, a touchdown machine. With 11 touchdowns, not only is that more than any other runningback in the league, it’s more than any team in the league. The offensive attack for Minnesota is easily top-tier in the league, and it’s the main reason why they’ve bolted to a 6-1 record on the season, posting 33 points/game. Huntsman will be a threat going forward, and there’s no doubt he can be a contender for MVP.
Wide Receiver
The wide receiver position is tough to grade based on how well the cornerbacks play and the separation, but I do still think there are a few WRs that stand out above the rest.
3. Cliff Burton, Dallas Birddogs (737 yds, 16.8 avg, 8 TDs)
Burton has been a great wideout for the Birddogs so far this season, hauling in 8 touchdowns as well as an exceptional 16.8 yards per catch. Cliff is a reliable player in the red zone, and has helped Dallas score when they need one most.
2. Ivan Toastovich, Dallas Birddogs (794 yds, 16.9 avg, 5 TDs)
The reason I didn’t put Toastovich and Burton together like I did Baker and Johns is the different in ability to separate. Toastovich has been able to clear away from defenders, having much less targets defended or picked off by opposing cornerbacks. Aside from this, Toastovich also boasts a solid 16.9 avg to go along with 5 TDs.
1. Mason Malone, Minnesota Grey Ducks (811 yds, 17.6 avg, 3 TDs)
Despite lacking in the touchdown area, Malone’s blistering 17.6 yards per catch and their league-leading 811 yards put them clear into first, especially when you consider touches are also split between the leagues’s best back in Huntsman. Malone has been a nightmare for opposing cornerbacks to cover and it’s no surprise they take the top spot here.
Honorable Mention - Squidward Tentacles, Bondi Beach Buccaneers (762 yds, 14.4 avg, 9 TDs)
No other honorable mention has more of a case to crack the top three than Tentacles does. He leads the league in touchdowns as well as being top-3 in total yards, but he just doesn’t have the ability to create extra-long YAC like other receivers do. Excluding his season-long 83 yard catch against the Grey Ducks earlier this season, Tentacles’ yards per catch average drops to 13. Not shabby by any means, but far from the production of my top 3.
Tight End
I didn’t include tight ends in the WR category for the sole reason that receiving is not the sole job of a tight end. They must also be able to block well, and that will come into play when determining these rankings.
3. Donkey Johnson, London Royals (184 yds, 0 TDs, 22 pancakes, 1 sack allowed)
Johnson is definitely more of a blocking tight end than a receiving one, but it’s also clear that he is the best TE in the league at blocking. With a league-leading 22 pancakes, and only one sack allowed, Donkey Johnson is a reliable blocker and a solid asset to get London’s run game going.
2. Anthony MacGuire, Dallas Birddogs (266 yds, 2 TDs, 16 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed)
MacGuire has done an incredible job on both sides of the TE job, racking up the second-most yards and TDs among tight ends, as well as posting a solid 16 pancakes and allowing not one sack yet on the season. MacGuire has the skills to dominate in this league in the coming seasons.
1. Gronku Muerto, Tijuana Luchadores (384 yds, 5 TDs, 20 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed)
Was there any doubt? Muerto has been an absolute force for the Luchadores this year, blitzing the rest of the league in yards and TDs among TEs, as well as posting a yards per catch average of 12.4, by and large the best in the league. However, Muerto also excels in a blocking role, allowing no sacks and posting 20 pancakes, good for second in the league thus far. There is absolutely no doubt that Muerto is the cream of the crop for tight ends, and he’ll be a force to be reckoned with through his career.
Offensive Line
The offensive line is a position group that goes highly unrewarded in the league, providing the time for quarterbacks and runningbacks to excel in the backfield. Which linemen have been a pure brick wall this year? Let’s find out:
3. Pepelegs Johnson, Bondi Beach Buccaneers (30 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed)
Pepelegs Johnson is the only non-bot player on the Bondi O-Line, but that isn’t stopping him from holding down the fort. With 30 pancakes and no sacks allowed, Pepelegs is a centerpiece to the team and is pulling his weight and more this season.
2. Tay Heenie, Portland Pythons (36 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed)
With 36 pancakes, Heenie is a BIG reason why the Portland running game has been so dominant this year. They’re on track to break their personal record of 63 pancakes in a season, and with some good effort they’re well on their way to break it.
1. Clifford Wilson, Norfolk Seawolves (47 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed)
Step aside, rest of the league. Wilson is the most dominant player at any position this season, posting a whopping 47 pancakes over the first half of the season, all without allowing a single sack. He’s set his eyes on the league record, and with an average of 6.7 pancakes/game, Mar Lee’s current record of 74 seems to be all but lost at this point. Wilson has been a shining start for the Seawolves this seasons as they try to work their way out of the cellar in the South.
Defensive Line
On the other side of the ball, we have big guys just as eager to tackle a ball carrier as the offensive lineman are to eat some pancakes. The defensive line needs to be a force to stop the backs so that they don’t rip big runs.
3. Rocco Blade, DE, Portland Pythons (28 tck, 4 TFL, 3 sacks, 1 FF, 1 FR)
Blade has thus far been the best defensive end in the league, posting a solid 28 tackles as well as 3 sacks and forcing a fumble. It’s clear that Portland has a nose for good lineman, and Blade is another talent that is going to blossom into a superstar in the league.
2. R.L. Stine, DT, Portland Pythons (40 tck, 2 TFL)
Remember what I said about Portland having a nose for lineman? How about the league leader in tackles among defensive lineman? Stine has posted a whopping 40 tackles to this point in the season, and along with 2 tackles for loss, Stine has been excellent at plugging holes in the line and helps make Portland’s defensive line one of the best in the league.
1. Prof. Godfrey Gravity, DT, Kansas City Coyotes (38 tck, 1 TFL, 2 sacks, 2 FF)
Prof. Gravity has been an excellent foundation in the center of the Kansas City D-Line, having the second-most tackles among defensive lineman as well as showing a talent to make it to the quarterback with his two sacks. And with 2 forced fumbles so far on the season, Prof. Gravity has made it clear who runs the line of scrimmage, as they’re a force to be reckoned with all around the line.
Honorable Mentions
Nep Neppy, DT, Norfolk Seawolves (32 tck, 1 TFL, 2 FF)
Neppy has been great at stopping the run this season and has shown that they can strip a ball easily. Once Neppy shows that they can get to the QB often, they’ll be a contender for defensive lineman of the year.
Morpheus Czargyros, DE, Minnesota Grey Ducks (22 tck, 3 TFL, 6 sacks)
Czargyros doesn’t have as many tackles as the others on this list, but with a league-leading 6 sacks, his ability to make it to the QB cannot go unmentioned. Czargyros has been a great edge piece for a championship team in the Grey Ducks.
Linebacker
The linebackers are the field generals of the defense, and they’re usually in the center of every play. Which players have been able to capitalize on their opportunities and take control of a game?
3. Luke Watterson, Dallas Birddogs (61 tck, 6 TFL, 3 sacks, 2 PD, 1 FF)
Watterson has been excellent on the defensive side of the ball thus far for the Birddogs, and with 61 tackles he is third league-wide. He also shows good ability to get in the backfield with 6 TFLs as well as an ability to play the pass well, knocking down two passes.
2. Elliot Hord, Portland Pythons (64 tck, 4 TFL, 4 sacks, 1 PD, 1 FF)
Hord is currently tied for the league lead on tackles, and with 4 sacks and 3 passes defended, he shows an uncanny ability to be everywhere on the field at once. Nowhere is safe with Hord on defense, and he’s been a reliable centerpiece to a good Dallas defense.
1. Sconnie McHits, Norfolk Seawolves (64 tck, 1 TFL, 2 FF, 1 FR, 1 INT, 1 TD)
Where McHits lacks in sacks and TFLs, he makes up for it with his ability to force turnovers. Aside from co-leading the league in tackles, McHits showed his speed and athleticism with an 89-yard pick six in week 7 against the Grey Ducks, and with 2 forced fumbles and one fumble recovered, McHits shows his ability to get the defense off the field for the offense to make plays.
Cornerback
Cornerbacks are tasked with defending some of the most athletics players on the field in the wide receivers. Being able to knock down passes and waste a down for the offense is an ability every cornerback needs if they want to be a top pass defender in the league.
3. Guy Gibson, Bondi Beach Buccaneers (45 tck, 2 INT, 14 PD, 1 TD)
Gibson is chasing the title of CBOTY and as the league co-leader in passes defended, he’s proven to be a lockdown corner for the Bucs. With a pick-six against the Birddogs in Week 3, Gibson is one of only nine players to score a defensive touchdown this year, proving to be an offensive asset as well.
2. The Laz, Portland Pythons (47 tck, 2 INT, 14 PD, 1 TD)
Statline look familiar? With a couple more tackles, The Laz is slightly ahead of Gibson in the race for CBOTY. Laz has certainly made their mark on the defensive side as well, with 14 passes defended and a pick six of their own against the Seawolves in week 5. A top CB prospect in the league last year, the Sabercats may have gotten a steal in the second round.
1. Owen Reed, Minnesota Grey Ducks (54 tck, 3 INT, 12 PD, 1 TD, 3 FF, 1 FR)
Reed is the clear frontrunner for CBOTY at this point. Leading the league in tackles among cornerbacks, Reed has shown astounding prowess at hunting down the ball carrier. He also excels at forcing turnovers, forcing 3 fumbles, recovering one, as well as picking off 3 passes. As is the trend, Reed has a pick six as well, taking his in week 6 against the Buccaneers.
Honorable Mention - Tessie Garciaparra, Kansas City Coyotes (42 tck, 2 INT, 11 PD, 2 FF, 2 FR)
Oh, I REALLY wanted to flex my own stats in this analysis, but Garciaparra has done too well to leave off. While they don’t have a pick 6 or as many passes defended as the league leaders, forcing 2 fumbles and recovering both is no easy feat. Garciaparra is one of the best in the league at creating turnovers and does an excellent job at getting Kansas City’s offense back on the field.
Safety
The last line of defense, the safeties thrive on the long ball. While they don’t get to put up as many stats as other positions, they are super important when defending strong arm quarterbacks and preventing the deep ball TD. This one has definitely been the toughest to grade, as so many safeties have made a case to be the best.
3. Fuzzy George, SS, Minnesota Grey Ducks (29 tck, 1 sack, 4 PD, 1 FF)
George leads the league in tackles among safeties, and with a sack and forced fumble, George shows a knack for stopping the ball carrier. With 4 passes defended as well, George excels at stopping the long ball as well, and is a good last line for the Grey Duck defense.
2. Richard Mansher, FS, Dallas Birddogs (28 tck, 3 PD, 1 INT, 1 FF, 1 FR)
Mansher shows a keen eye at the back of the Birddog defense, with 3 passes defended and an interception to boot. Their forced fumble and recovery along with 28 tackles show that Mansher is great at playing all around and forcing turnovers.
1. Fitted Cuddles, FS, Kansas City Coyotes (27 tck, 1 sack, 4 PD, 2 INT, 4 FF, 1 FR)
Cuddles is an assembly line of statistics, and with 4 forced fumbles and 2 interceptions, they are a turnover machine on defense. Not only this, but with a sack and 27 tackles, Cuddles is also excellent at stopping the play and being able to play all around the defensive side of the ball.
Honorable Mentions
Siaosi Multiauaopele, SS, Portland Pythons (27 tck, 2 sacks, 1 PD, 3 FF, 1 FR)
Multiauaopele has done an excellent job against ground attacks this year, with 27 tackles, 2 sacks, 3 forced fumbles, and one fumble recovery. What’s holding Siaosi back from cracking the top 3 is showing a lack of ability to consistently play the air ball, with only one pass defended and no interceptions to show on the year. That aside, they’ve done a great job on the ground so far this year.
Jet King, FS, London Royals (28 tck, 2 sacks, 2 PD)
King has quietly been a very solid back piece for the Royals, showing a good knack for breaking up passes, with two defenses on the year, as well as being able to get in the backfield for 28 tackles and 2 sacks. King’s got some work to do to catch up to the leaders, but don’t count them out yet.
Kicker
The kicking role is a niche one, to be sure, but a team needs a good kicker to be able to get them points when the offense can’t quite make it to the end zone, and to get the extra point as well, which can make or break a game.
3. Levy Tate, Minnesota Grey Ducks (28/28 XPM, 11/13 FGM, Long 44)
Tate has been the most consistent kicker this year, only missing two field goals. They do benefit from having the best offense in the league, as they have only attempted one kick from beyond 50 yards out this year. Their accuracy is great, but the lack of solid leg power behind their kicks leaves them away from the top spot.
2. Billy Doorknob, London Royals (14/15 XPM, 5/5 FGM, Long 52)
Only appearing in 6 games this year, Doorknob has done a good job at making it count when his team needs him. He’s had to split some time with Rainbow Dash, but overall Doorknob’s 52-yarder is the third longest thus far in the league (Toy Robot has the top two).
1. Ikick Ballz, Tijuana Luchadores (22/22 XPM, 12/15 FGM, Long 49)
Ballz has been one of the most consistent kickers this season, and have shown a good mix of accuracy and power, going 5/8 beyond 40 yards. Ballz will have to try to increase his leg power if he wants to keep this top spot before season’s end.
Honorable Mention - Toy Robot, Portland Pythons (24/25 XPM, 8/14 FGM, Long 55)
Toy Robot has an absolute cannon of a leg, which is shown in their long of 55 this year. They are also the only kicker who has made multiple kicks from 50+ yards away, but their accuracy leaves something to be desired. One of only three kickers to miss a FG this year, their FG accuracy is also the lowest in the league at 57%, which leaves them on the outside looking in for top 3.
Those are the lists thus far this season! It’s been a trip staring at the index for hours on end, but I think I did a good job at ranking the tight matchups. Here’s to seven more weeks of hard competition!
Totals by Team:
Top 3s
- 7*
- 6
- 6
- 3
- 3
- 2
- 2
- 2
* - Jax Baker and Noah Johns are counted separately here for the Pythons, despite sharing a spot in the rankings.
Honorable Mentions
- 3
- 1
- 1
- 1
- 1
- 1
- 0
- 0