Former players:
QB Joliet Christ Jr. (HON/BER) (1x Ultimus Champ)
WR Deondre Thomas-Fox (SJS) (2x Ultimus Champ)
QB Joliet L. Christ (SJS) (Hall of Fame) (1x Ultimus Champ)
While most players are broke after they retire, Vincent Sharpei Jr. has one thing going for him. Some advice from his father. His father, Vincent Sharpei, is one of those players that went broke a few years after they retired from the league, due to poor financial decisions, of course though, when you give an 18 year old that kind of money more often then not they are going to go broke. Instead, though, Vincent Sharpei Jr’s dad has helped him out tremendously, he’s been investing in a bunch of stocks, while that is still an issue due to the possibility of the stock market crashing, he has a goal to head towards. As well, Vincent Sharpei Jr. has been putting away about 75% of his paydays every payday just to make sure he has a nice little nest egg to fall back on incase some shit goes south. So, to recap what Vincent Sharpei Jr. is doing, 75% of his paydays go into savings, about 18% goes into stocks and bonds system, and 7% he keeps into his accounts as play around with money. You never know what you’re going to get with that play around money, and if Vincent Sharpei Jr. can’t afford it with his play around money, then he doesn’t get it.
(216 words) 1
Back in his days in London, when he wasn't bossing opposing teams on the field he did his best to immerse himself in the local cultures; some specific to the capital and some just typically British. His charity work doesn't really count here, as all money went towards supporting the arts scene in Camden. But one area he did invest in was the world of English Breakfast Tea. His choice of tea, why Taylors of Harrogates "Yorkshire Tea" of course. Eagle eyes would have spotted the first time the renowned brand first liked Burficts tweet - this was when the relationship formed. And with what he did in London, and now pushing the brand out in the US, that investment is paying off!
Aside from this mainstay, Burfict also invested in camera company GoPro. This deal is pretty simple, when Burfict does something on the field, GoPro do something good to his bank balance. Boom. But as Burfict’s lifestyle becomes more lavish he has had to look around for more. He's now dabbling in real estate and has set himself up as the official (unofficially, don't tell coach) rookie player accommodation chief. So if you're a new player in Arizona, fear not, L'Gazzy Burfict will be sorting you some sweet ass accommodation with only a 25% fee on top to cover his expenses. Deal! Code: 224
See, CJ Sonjack has been busy while playing ball. He's always been considering his post-playing days. When he was with the London Royals, he invested a portion of his meager salary in cryptocurrency. That was not worth a whole lot at that time, and to be frank, it is still not worth a whole lot. But the potential is there, we just have to wait on Elon Musk to tweet about it and then CJ would be ALL SET for income in his post-playing days.
In addition to the cryptocurrency binge, Sonjack has invested in Seth Rogan’s weed company. I mean, weed is a market that is ripe for the picking, pun fully intended. Sonjack plans to be a full time philanthropist in his second career, so he can go around attending fancy events and not actually work at all, but still seem like an important business person. That is definitely the best part of philanthropy, you seem like you have it all together but your money just breeds more money that you can give away without actually doing anything. It’s the greatest scheme out there, you just need to get the initial money to get it going. On second thought, perhaps Sonjack isn’t as ready as he thought he was.
Calvin isn't the type of guy to be really big on investments and the like, considering he's basically living paycheck to paycheck with how expensive training and equipment is these days. I can see him stuffing $1 million into a bank account for post-retirement and calling it good. After all, what kind of extravagant purchases will he be making? There are no necessities that a post-football job won't cover for him, and considering just how wealthy some of his friends I the league are I'm sure they'd be willing to spot him a few (million..) dollars if he was in a rough spot. Throughout his career it's not like he's sought out big contracts, so why worry about that now? It's not like you need that much money to spend the rest of your life reliving the glory days as the best OL in league history (for one season). Maybe the Luchadores can turn OL coach and scout into a paid position, it's not like they have a salary cap to adhere to. And considering how the economy works there's always the opportunity to write a few words to make a quick buck, at least until I eventually recreate and all of that money ends up going to his replacement. And speaking of, I'm not even sure how that works, now that I think about it. Do we just abandon our players when they retire and throw them aside for our new ones?
245 words
Turtles are known to have lifespans that span into centuries, so having a long-term plan is really a matter of scale. Since I intend on being alive long past the inevitable and imminent collapse of capitalist society, Long term planning is a bit different there where I will hoard my precious metals. I now have a home on the east and west coast of Turtle Island (aka North America). This will give me options as the oceans rise. Now, rising oceans present a less severe challenge to turtles, as a semiaquatic species. While I welcome a new swamplike existence in Portland and Newfoundland, it will be nice to have options as the obnoxious human panic occurring around me will likely leave me serving for respite. Avoiding herds of unhoused mammals will likely only be a short term issue, so long term planning also involves finding new companionship. While I have a unique...bond with the wolf (@taterswc) who plays in London, I yearn to develop this into more of a partnership. Although my vegetarian nature gives me no use of his hunting ability, his ferocity will likely keep predators away from our home. I can also provide him shelter as my shell has enough room for two...
Anyways if I missed the point of this pT and I'm supposed to talk only about money then I would probably just blow it on donations to Save the Whales |
|