Erwin Kemp doesn't really live a lavish life style, as he feels bad about spending money on himself, he doesn't really know why, but it's just one of those thoughts that he can't really shake, no matter how irrational one may feel it may be. Most of Kemp's contracts go straight into savings, hoping that when he eventually retires, his career earnings can be enough to live off of for the rest of his life, as he finds working the nine to five life very boring, and going into sports journalism, broadcasting, and even coaching may be temping, isn't really what he's looking to do post football life. The money Kemp does spend on however is what any young person is wasting money one, Pokemon and Sports cards hoping to pull something that's worth the big bucks, though Kemp does it more for the thrill than for the money, for obvious reasons.
Let me tell you about my favourite contract of the offseason.
The Arizona Outlaws secured the signing of Tre'Mendus Johnson, a free agent safety having recently left the champion Baltimore Hawks. Great signing, great user, its all perfect.
Johnson is, at the time of signing, about 995 TPE. That means he can sign for $4M per season, indefinitely. If he was over 1000 TPe it would be $5M.
Now, lets take a moment to remember the SA (Salary Adjustment clause, where a contract is automatically matched to the TPE minimum.
So, we were monitoring Johnson's TPE levels in the week up to the signing, and when it became apparent that he would be below the threshold to save us a bit of cap, we were really happy.
Step in my AZ GM colleague Z-Whiz. Z generally handles cap and contracts and stuff - I just make up lies about the sim in order to bamboozle guys who have actual knowledge - so he posts the deal. $4M a season, with a salary adjustment clause. So, yeah, none of that monitoring mattered anyway, as Johnson is paid $5M now. He's worth it, no biggie. But what an amazing contract to be a part of.
The first thing Willie bought with his new contract money was a Skyline Chili franchise for the city of Philadelphia. Willie wanted to bring some of his hometown chili to the city of brotherly love. At first, the people were off put by it. And to be fair, I don't blame them. I mean seriously it does kind of look like diarrhea. But after a couple weeks of some good old fashioned word of mouth, word had started to spread of this new delicacy. Everyone was waiting in line at this restaurant so Willie decided to expand! As of now there are 5 Skylines in the city and the franchise is showing no signs of slowing down. Each day brings a new record in sales and profits and people are lining up around the corner just for a coney. Mothers, fathers, everyone wants some of that sweet sweet cinnamon/chocolate chili mix over a fresh hotdog topped with some shredded cheese.
When American Boot got his rookie contact he could barely believe his eyes. Was this real? 6 million? But American Boot knew exactly what the first thing he would be spending his money on was. He navigated to amazon and purchased a bucket. But not just any bucket, this bucket was a 5 gallon bucket, and had a lid. After that, things got much more difficult on how American Boot would spend the rest of his money. He then thought for a long time. He still had $5999976.01 left to spend. Then he remembered something else that he enjoyed doing. He rushed back to his computer, and this time, using 1 million dollars, purchased 303951 loaves of bread. He then teleported every single loaf. A process taking 911853 seconds, or a bit over 10 and a half days. He still had around 5 million left to spend, but that would come later.