Detective Crashmore will be starring in the film "Detective Crashmore" under the pseudonym Santa Claus. Detective Crashmore is a little bit of the noir films of old, mixed with the action films of new. A bit of a cosmic gumbo that dances to the beat of jazz. The movie will follow the adventures of its namesake, a foul-mouthed, trigger-happy cop who prefers to bring criminals to justice by shooting them in the face first and asking questions later. The opening scene involves a shootout between Detective Crashmore and a gang of armed robbers. As bullets fly and those fuckers start hitting the floor, Crashmore rips out his glock and unloads a hail of lead on the scumbag piece of shit criminals, who we soon find out are responsible for the death of his wife. After the shootout, we get a taste of the noir side of the movie, as Crashmore interrogates a "suspect" (in quotes because the man is quite clearly dead as a result of Crashmore) and proceeds to beat him into a pulp when he refuses to answer any questions about the death of Crashmore's wife (again, probably because he's already dead). You'll have to see the rest to know what happens next, but suffice it to say that the police chief shouldn't save any cells for these fuckers.