(S43) Offseason Task

[3lewsers]

24. You’re in charge of entertainment for the Ultimus or Ultimini half-time show. What would you do? (Written Task)

During the halftime show, a giant UFO descends onto the field, opening up to reveal a group of aliens. The aliens are dressed in colorful costumes and have large heads with big eyes. They play a bizarre song on their space instruments, which sound like a mix of rock, pop, and classical music. The crowd is confused and scared at first, but they soon start to dance to the alien music. The aliens dance around the field, their movements alien and graceful. The crowd is captivated by the aliens' music and dance. Suddenly, a spotlight shines down on one of the aliens. The alien takes a step forward and begins to sing. The alien's voice is beautiful and haunting, and the crowd falls silent. The alien sings a song about peace and love, and the crowd is moved. As the alien finishes singing, the other aliens join in. They all sing together, their voices filling the stadium. The crowd is cheering and dancing, and the halftime show is a huge success.

27. Imagine your current position was not available to be picked when you created your player. What other position would you have picked, and why? (Written Task)

If linebackers didn't exist, Kahn Cussion would probably be a fullback. He has the size, speed, and strength to be a dominant blocker and runner. He is also a good pass catcher and has a nose for the end zone. Cussion would be a great fit for the fullback position because he is able to block for the running back and catch passes out of the backfield. He is also a good short-yardage runner and can pick up tough yards. However, Cussion would probably be a bit of a liability in pass coverage. He is not as fast as a linebacker and he does not have the same lateral agility. As a result, he would probably be targeted by opposing quarterbacks in pass situations. Despite his limitations in pass coverage, Cussion would still be a valuable asset to any team. He would be a great blocker and runner, and he would be a threat to score touchdowns every time he touches the ball. He has a lot of strength, and he can bench press over 300 pounds. Cussion is a talented player who would be a great asset to any team. If linebackers didn't exist, he would be a dominant fullback.

28. Football is a game that has been going on for a while, loved by fans all over. But what if you were able to make some rule changes? Talk us through your new version of football, and what would be different and why? (Written Task)

Here are some crazy rule changes that could be added to football:

The two-point conversion: Instead of scoring two points by running or passing the ball into the end zone, teams could now score two points by kicking a field goal. This would add an extra element of excitement to the game, as teams would have to decide whether to go for two points after scoring a touchdown.

The fair catch fumble: If a player calls for a fair catch on a punt, and the ball is fumbled, the receiving team is awarded the ball at the spot of the fumble. This would add an extra element of strategy to punting, as teams would have to be more careful about how they approach fair catches.

The targeting penalty: If a defensive player makes a helmet-to-helmet hit on an offensive player, the defensive player is ejected from the game. This would make targeting a much more serious penalty, and it would help to protect the safety of players.

The skyhook: If a player throws the ball 20 yards or more in the air and it is caught by a teammate, the team is awarded a touchdown. This would add an extra element of excitement to the game, as teams would have to be more creative in how they score points.

31. Make up an award for your player (or even someone else) to win for something not on the football field. (Written or Graphic Task)

Kahn Cussion is a 10-year veteran linebacker who is known for his sense of humor and his ability to do animal impressions. He can do the perfect impression of a dog barking, a cat meowing, a cow mooing, and even a chicken clucking. Cussion's animal impressions are so good that he has been invited to perform at children's hospitals and at charity events. He has also been featured on several television shows, including The Tonight Show and Late Night with Jay Cue. In recognition of his talent for animal impressions, Kahn Cussion is hereby awarded the Kahn Cussion Award for Best Animal Impressions. This award is presented to the individual who has demonstrated the most creativity and skill in imitating animals. Cussion is a deserving recipient of this award, and he is sure to continue to entertain people with his animal impressions for many years to come. The award is a statuette of a dog, cat, cow, and chicken, and is presented annually at the ISFL Honors ceremony. It is sponsored by the Kahn Cussion Animal Foundation, a charity that provides financial assistance to animal shelters and rescue organizations.

[electrictree]

8. This task is exclusive to non-recreate rookies of the S42 class and later. In 300 words or more, how has your experience been in the league? Who have you met that has made your time here more fun, friendly, and exciting? Have you been satisfied with your player’s early start? What was it like being drafted for the first time? Do you have any comments or suggestions for the entire league that you think should be implemented?

The league experience has been nothing short of amazing. Everywhere I’ve been in my short time, I’ve found good, engaging people.

As a S42 member (S42 class, best class) I’ve started out in Tijuana as a member of the Luchadores. The Lucha’s were very welcoming and even won the Ultimini title my first season. My player caught a touchdown in that game which was a super fun moment. But the group in Tijuana were so welcoming, I loved it. Wizard and Baz will do great at their next stops.

Then I was drafted by the Colorado Yeti in the ISFL draft and I’m enjoying that place more then I am Tijuana. It’s a great group full of people who are like-minded to me, which is important. I also believe very much in eph and steg who’ve been welcoming and kind. It’s a great place to be and I’d highly recommend the Yeti to anyone who asks.

Toward the end of the season, I applied for and ended up getting the Kansas City Coyotes co-GM job. The GM there a user by the name of JDC and I connected immediately. We see the game and the job in the same way, and I was so pleased to find another user who we can build the team up with. Look out, rest of DSFL. The Coyotes are building!

Overall, I’ve been pleased with my players initial performance. I hit the DSFL cap pretty early and I’m going to be playing in the ISFL next season with the Colorado Yeti. Position TBD. I was one of the better tight ends in the DSFL last season, spending some time at wide receiver. My guy tended to get a lot of long receptions which was really fun to watch. Treasure goes long!

My only ‘do better’ is perhaps the forums. It’s still mildly confusing. Things are everywhere. But overall, it’s a well oiled machine.

(319 words)


19. Your team has announced that they will be laying ground on a new stadium next season. What additions would you like to see included in it. (Written Task)

Oh, funny you should ask. I’ve been thinking about something similar anyway. There are two different things that the new stadium would include.

First, dog park. You can bring babies to stadiums, why wouldn’t you be able to bring your fur babies into the stadium? Plus, it would add an additional layer of enjoyment and social activity when tailgating. Have a burger, give the dog a bit of hot dog, let the run around and have fun.

Second is a game day treasure hunt. People will be able to hunt down specific items that the players and the teams give out as prizes. Follow a clue, win a National Treasure signed jersey. Solve a riddle, get a beer helmet. Things like that. This would increase participation among fans who would be looking to invest their time deeper into the team. These days could also be themed, or lead to special treats, or anything. It’s a treasure hunt! National Treasure approved!

(160 words)


36. Affiliate PT from either SHL/SSL/PBE. The Weeks must match with the timeframe of this Offseason Task. And you may only use a max of 1.

SHL Affiliate: https://simulationhockey.com/showthread....pid3395091

[Reno]

SHL Affiliate + 2.5

Task 10 - 332
My first job as commissioner would be overhauling the salary cap and contracts so that they actually matter for a change. It sucks that in the nature of sim leagues if you take more than the minimum you’re actually hurting your team in the long term because of how tight the salary cap is, so players seldom make any money off of contracts necessitating the need for one or more league jobs depending on pay so that you can afford training and equipment each year. When a contract for the season is like 3,000,000 and Tier 6 is 13,500,000 to go alongside with 1,000,000 WTs each week, it adds up to rapidly put people into the negative and force things like media and graphics to tread water. If you need to force things like that to keep player survivability high, something is clearly not right with the league structure as a whole. By raising the cap and being able to double player salaries or offer larger bonuses to the players and similar, players don’t need to feel pressured to create content to financially survive and rather can just create content because they want to and have fun with it. The other thing that I would do that would be a lot harder to do or implement would be change up the sim engine to something that’s just less bullshit. Plain and simple the sim engine is horrible and actively ruins the experience, its hard to get invested when you’re just sitting there wondering how its going to ruin your game through some awful AI logic decision. Like when in the Ultimini with Kansas City, instead of kicking a field goal to win we spiked the ball to stop then clock, punted, and then gave up the field goal to lose the title because why not. I know that finding a replacement sim is easier said than done, but its something I would seriously devote time and effort into trying to make work.

Task 32 - 169
The podcast that Aleksandar would start is the “Kovic and Gelbman Slashcast” which is run by him and his co-host Tree Gelbman, former Butchers alumni. Combined the two of them have perfect personalities to run a podcast because they’re both insane in their own ways. Kovic is a meathead who just only wants to run over people on the football field while Tree is an alleged axe murder who is still dealing with pending legal action. The main thing they would talk about is their stories playing football and all the crazy shenanigans that they got onto and off the field. Both of them are party animals who got up to no good, Kovic usually clubbing in his native Serbia and getting into bar fights while Tree would tell stories of eating cereal till 4am at bars and dancing until 9am before a 10am practice the next day. This podcast would run on Spotify until the lack of sponsors drives them to stop doing it for legal reasons.

[RavensFanFromOntario]

2. Having just joined again today, I've yet to see any members of the draft class in which I personally shall likely or perhaps not be a part of. However, differences and split ends aside, the people I do know that are likely also partaking in this class can truly make the mind marvel at how fantastic and awesome they are. CaptainSB is an indominatable force of nature, crafted by the gods and gifted with talent that would make even the demigods of greek history blush. To call him well endowed would be an understatement, and the endowment I am referring to is his amazing hair. It makes the craze people had for Justin Bieber look like a small indie rock band in rural Canada. People swoon whenever they see him on the streets and the following he gets dwarfs all of Twitter's users combined. He's a phenom the likes of which haven't been seen before and, by the Grace of his holy emperor Franz Schwartzentruber Godwick Algernon the III of Rustwick may never grace our paths again. His thighs were chiseled as though made by master craftsperson and public speaker Archibald the Really Bald, majestically made to fit the linebackers needs. Bespoke with the gifts of strengths, looks, size, skill, talent, big feet, big hands and the ability to chug beer as though it was water and turn it into energy as though through photosynthesis, CaptainSB is the ultimate prospect tm, patent pending, lawsuits pending. Another prospect to speak on is the mysterious and suave Mattrim Cauthon. Definitely a smooth talker with a penchant for pranks and crime he's bringing a lot of speed to the international simulation football league draft. He's been known to have some off the field concerns namely a penchant for gambling and carousing. When interviewed he often states his weakness are money women and doughnuts. When asked which flavour of doughnuts, he cheekily replies yes, but when pressed he explains his soft spot for chocolate and blueberry fritters. He's also the head of a bring back things I like campaign focused around blueberry fritters, vanilla coke and after eight hot chocolate mix. If you don't know how great either of these things are you simply have not lived a life worth living at this point and should correct that immediately. He was recently announced as the first football Big Baller Brand cover athlete as well as #6 on world's greatest lovers. Numbers 1-5 before him all had handlebar mustaches so it was impossible to truly compete with that level of awesomeness. A lover, a fighter, a midnight toker Cauthon continues to impress people with his amazing interviews telling his wonderous tales of his world wide adventures and his battle against darkness, his foes, his friends and even himself. However they're probably mostly partially but almost entirely all complete bullshit. Since magic isn't real and "The Dark One" is probably some kind of hallucination, he's being regarded as an interesting and fun story teller when really he probably needs help in a bad way. It could be some kind of trauma from childhood acting up but who knows. To summarize there is talent in this draft and people but are those people truly people and will they actually be talented? Are ghosts real and just how well endowed is CaptainSB? Should anime be legal or are weebs the greatest threat to modern civilization since the bubonic plague? Good, evil, morality, it's all a weird societal frame structure that we call civilization, but is it civilized? Tune in this week or next week or past or proceeding weeks for this episode of dragon ball deez nuts. Word count: 609

[thecanadiancanuck]

SHL Affiliate (username: boom)

TPE: 2.5/10

[Repgnar]

OT Pass thank you

[swoosh]

Tier 1: Long Form Tasks (Must be 600+ words) - 10 TPE
2. Tell us about your draft class. Is there anything that makes it special in comparison to other classes? Where did your fellow draftees land, how are they doing? Did anyone turn out to be an unexpected steal of that draft based on what you know today? Do you think anyone in your draft class will become a hall of famer?

Leading up to the Season 42 ISFL Draft, much was made about how that particular class couldn’t hold up to the previous Season 41 ISFL Draft Class. While the Season 41 ISFL Draft Class was truly special due strong recruiting efforts made by league management, I think the Season 42 ISFL Draft Class is a bit underrated. It may lack the depth that the previous class had, but the first two rounds were well rounded. Today we take a look at the first round selections from the Season 42 ISFL Draft and how they performed in year one. 

1. Dino Nuggets / CB / New Orleans Secondline 
Nuggets had an up and down year for the 1-15 Secondline but finished the year with 52 tackles, two interceptions, and 10 pass deflections while starting at CB2.

2. Heijas D. Owidhuse / CB / Chicago Butchers 
Owidhuse, like Nuggets, was thrown into the fire as a rookie but had a solid year. He had 65 tackles, two interceptions, and 27 pass deflections, while splitting time between CB2 and CB1.

3. Hank Mardukas / TE / New Orleans Secondline
Mardukas starting off slow for the Secondline, but after a change in offense later in the year he started to heat up. He finished the season with 76 receptions for 660 yards, and five touchdowns. He also added 37 pancakes.

4. Federico Americano / LB / Colorado Yeti
Amiercano stayed down in Norfolk and won an Ultimini. He was a big reason why, finishing the year with 128 tackles, three forced fumbles, eight sacks, and three pass deflections.

5. Martin Bachman / RB / New York Silverbacks
Bachman was another player to stay down and while the London Royals didn't have the best year, Bachman was balling. He finished the season with 1,134 rushing yards and seven touchdowns, averaging 4.7 yards per carry.

6. Blacksmith Andre / OL / San Jose SaberCats
Andre had a monster season for the SaberCats, racking up 66 of those sweet, sweet pancakes but more impressively allowing no sacks.

7. RE #38 / QB / Colorado Yeti
Colorado's QB of the future stayed down in Bondi Beach and put up a nice campaign: 4,042 yards, 20 touchdowns, and 13 interceptions.

8. Josh Patterson / QB / San Jose SaberCats
After taking home almost every DSFL award last season, Patterson cooled down a little bit in year two but still had a nice year. Patterson had 3,986 yards, 27 interceptions, and 16 interceptions.

9. Reginald Shrubbery / RB / Orange County Otters
Shrubbery also stayed down in the DSFL and would prove to be one of the best running backs. He finished the year with 1,348
rushing yards, 14 touchdowns and a 4.4 yards per carry average.

10. Dan Dandrews / DE / Yellowknife Wraiths
Your current TPE leader for the S42 ISFL Draft Class, Dandrews stayed down in the DSFL and recored 25 tackles, 10 sacks, and three  forced fumbles.

11. Ace Anderson / RB / Sarasota Sailfish
Anderson split time at running back in Dallas, but still was very effective. He had 675 rushing yards and eight touchdowns on a 4.6 yards per carry average.

12. Luigi Numberone / CB / Baltimore Hawks
Numberone recorded 69 (nice) tackles, two interceptions, and 28 pass deflections for Dallas

13. Octavion Speedings / QB / New Orleans Secondline
Speedings, who made the switch to QB and appears to be the future for the Secondline, stayed down in Dallas to get some seasoning. He had 2,672 passing yards, 19 touchdowns, and just seven interceptions.

14. Honey Humprhies / S / New Orleans Secondline
Humphries, who was the second rookie starting in the New Orleans secondary, racked up 55 tackles, five sacks, one interception, and four pass deflections.

All users remain active and look to have a bright future in the ISFL.

[BOOM™]

#21 Cover Art 



#25 Billboard 



#26 Alternate Career 



#36 Affiliate PT

PBE(UZI) PT

[bjkman]

21. TV Show



24. Half-Time Show

Anchor: The Ultimus Half-time show headliner has been decided by the ISFL committee and it's someone you might not expect. Our sports reporter has the story.

Reporter: Imagine earlier this year you are opening up for Taylor Swift at sold-out football stadiums all over the globe, and now you have the chance to Headline yourself. Head of the ISFL Half-time show committee, headed by Johnny Delusional has selected Norway's own Girl in Red to headline this year's festivities.

GIR: Yeah, I mean by now I'm used to the size of the crowd thanks to Taylor Swift; but I'm so thankful to be headlining in my home country to have the biggest home crowd I've had the pleasure of performing in front of.

Reporter: She is expected to perform such hits as "We fell in love in October" and "i wanna be your girlfriend".

Anchor: The Ultimus match between the Arizona Outlaws and the Berlin Fire Salamanders won't be one to miss, and you might actually want to watch the game too this time.

Code:

173 Words

25. Billboard



35. Newspaper 

[PSanchez55]

600 Word Task - Interesting Moment in ISFL History

Mike: And we are back - it’s the Mike Blueberg Show! I’m Mike Blueberg and this is my cohost Matthew Leclair.

Matt: Hello all. Today, we are talking to Nameless former GM of the Portland Pythons about one of the most exciting times in the history of the DSFL.

Nameless: Hello: Thank you for having me. I wish someone would have named me before inviting me onto the show.

Matt: Thank you for joining us: So tell us, what exactly is this exciting time you are referencing?

Nameless: I was fortunate enough to GM during the s15 draft. While it may have been surpassed several times since then by bigger and better drafts, the s15 draft featured one of the first super classes. Over 100 people were drafted to DSFL teams. For context: the s14 draft had about 1.5 rounds of viable talent. In s15, the landscape of the DSFL changed entirely.

Matt: That’s really interesting. So tell us about your experience in that draft of drafts.

Nameless: Of course, as a GM I was overwhelmed. My CoGM and I worked through trying to scout dozens upon dozens of prospects. There were some “Can’t Miss” recreates, and some first generation agents who brought a lot to the table. Media was flying off the presses, the league discords were rocking. How do you decide who to draft?

Matt: So, how did you decide?

Nameless: Our first round pick was easy. Agent BWIII and CB Emondov Emoji was an easy choice. We wanted to be sure we didn’t miss with our first round pick, and we didn’t.

Matt: What about the 2nd round?

Nameless: I’d rather not talk about that.

Matt: What do you mean?

Nameless: Im joking. With our second round pick, we looked to address a team need. We had been mostly using the RBBC strategy with less than ideal RB talent. We decided to go with Kermit Stronglegs. He showed a lot of promise… unfortunately he wasn’t that much involved in training activities. We missed out on Forest Gump, Morgan Marshall, Terry Taffy and Dorfus Jimbo. On the bright side? We had another piece to throw into our running back committee.

Matt: Interesting. I guess everyone is prone to mistakes.

Nameless: Unfortunately that is the case. Honestly I’d love to go pick by pick, but I can’t find a good record of the draft. I’ll try to point out some highlights if you’ll let me.

Matt: Sounds good.

Nameless: Brock Landers was picked 1OA when the S15 draft class was taken into the ISFL. In the DSFL draft? He was taken somewhere better. 80 OA and 105 OA.

Matt: How???

Nameless: He was an unknown QB prospect. He showed he had some drive, and he was willing to switch positions. He became a highly touted WR prospect.

Matt: What about the other QBs in the class.

Nameless: Well, I was getting to Franklin Armstrong. Armstrong had an incredible career for the Orange County Otters. In this draft? He was either a 9th or 10th round pick.

Matt: Are these GMs blind?

Nameless: Again, it was an unproven agent at a position that favored stability. Also - most of the DSFL teams had there QB in place. Fortunately for Portland, we were able to grab a good one late. And that’s an understatement…! Armstrong is probably a Mt Rushmore player for both Portland and OCO. Armstrong won both Rookie of the Year and DSFL MVP while leading Portland to the Ultimini title.

Matt: I get the feeling that all this interview was just an excuse to talk about the Pythons Ultimini win from way back yonder.

Nameless: Eight… Eight Pythons were drafted in the first three rounds of the S15 ISFL draft. That’s all I have to say.