(S43) PT #5 - Stadium Renovations

[JuOSu]

PBE PT

[Cycro]

PBE Affiliate PT

[MMFLEX]

First thing I would add to the stadium would be an enhancement to our team's locker room. We would get at least 10 bidets. Can you imagine the turds of linemen and how messy they can be? We don't stock the most comfortable toilet paper either. It can be very irritating to the bum bum, so a high pressure wash is exactly what us linemen need. Second thing would be to remove the benches from the sidelines and install incredibly comfortable and cushy massage chairs on the sidelines. We play very hard when we're on the field, so imagine the amount of restoration to our bodies that could happen in a short time if we got a very relaxing massage before we had to take the field again. The linemen carry 350 pounds on their frame, so a fantastic foot massage would make them feel like they're walking on clouds the next time they're out blocking for Nova. Or, poor Bean takes a beating every play and could use an entire full body massage. These chairs would be incredible sideline healers.

[ZodiacEXE]

PBE Afilliate PT
Username: Zodiac.EXE

[nickWilliams]

The Berlin Fire Salamanders are grateful for the money the City has provided us to renovate our beautiful stadium. We would like to invest it in an attraction that would allow us to give a great experience for the community. We would like to add in an attraction that allows you to hover above the field during games. Think of all the empty space that sits above the field. We would like to make use of this wasted space and add some hovering seats so fans can get a bird's eye view of the game just like if they were at home. These seats would allow the fans to lay down on their stomach to watch the game or just sit and hang facing down, whichever way is most comfortable for them. These seats would obviously be the most popular and surely fans would pay a premium to sit here. However, we don't want all of them to go to only the richest of fans who could pay to sit there. We would put up for sale only a third of the seats. Another third of the seats will be available through a lottery. A month before every game any fan who would like to win a ticket in this hovering section would sign up for a lottery. The winner would be selected at random and there could never be someone who wins twice. The final third of the seats would be available to our most devoted fans. We will have personnel going through the sections during the first quarter watching fans enjoy the game. They would then offer a select few some tickets to occupy this third cut of seats for the remainder of the game. They would be selected based on team spirit and just like the lottery there would never be a double winner. These 3 different breakdowns will hopefully avoid any abuse of the system and give each fan an opportunity to enjoy this unique experience that is only available in the greatest stadium in the world.

[bernardhibou]

After months of shrewd negotiating with the local municipal government, BBB has successfully landed a significant interest-free loan of $5 million.  Although most of the money will be going to essential maintenance such as fan seat refurbishment, management has asked the players for their input on what to do with the remainder.  Bertie has decided that the best use of the funds is to finally install luxury Japanese electronic bidets that sing to you while you excrete waste.  While these will only be available to active roster players (no coaching staff allowed), Bertie has secured a verbal promise from the owner of BBB (a mysterious entity known as Mr. X) to have them installed in all fan restroom areas if BBB can make the playoffs this year.  Bertie is competing against rival proposals among the BBB players, ranging from a mini-putt green on the second level fan experience zone, a sensory deprivation tank, and special commemorative pirate mugs made out of gold for the entire team.  For once, Bertie's proposal isn't automatically the most insane.

[Jiggly_333]

I remember back in the day when Toyota Park was first being planned and it was supposed to be a LOCATION. Sure, Haunted Trails was a fixture of Bridgeview, but they needed more in the area. So, they said that in addition to the stadium, there would be a hotel and gas station (which were eventually built), but also a water park. So, it is my opinion that the Minnedsota Grey Ducks should build a water park. Right next to the stadium. I don't care if it's too cold during football season to have a water park nearby, you gotta build it. Think of the fun we can all have. Splashing around, going on the slides. We won't need football anymore. It's a water park, the WORLD is your toilet! Everyone should be happy that we now have a water park and we're not playing football anymore, we're all getting in the pool and we're playing full contact marco polo.

[AW13]

PBE PT

[JKortesi81]

At this point in the history of the Austin Copperheads, they have some serious consideration on what to do with their stadium. At this point, the stadium they play in is nearly 30 years old since they had it built back in S15. And in those 30 years, there has been A LOT of improvements in the stadium experience for fans. Truth is, the stadium is getting old. It isn’t the worst in the league, but it’s missing some of the amenities of today. The scoreboard had been replaced once 15 years ago, but its time to get a newer, even better HD one. The stadium wi-fi is still very spotty. The chairs themselves are starting to look old and weathered. Despite the history of the Copperheads being in that stadium, the more you look at it, the answer becomes clear. It’s time for the Austin Copperheads to build a new stadium. While the millions in taxpayer money is nice, that can only be used to repair a few things. It’s essentially, at this point, treating the symptoms instead of the actual problem. Lucky for Austin, the state of Texas LOVES its football and has a lot of money. I’m sure the state would chip in, along with ownership (me?) to build a completely new stadium close by. Together, we can build a state of the art stadium that will be ahead of the rest of the league in every facet of the fan experience. (245)

[Arkz]

So when looking at a stadium up in the frozen tundra of the far north of Canada, you likely expect this to be all about how the focus on stadium reservations should be a dome, or perhaps some structure that allows us to play games year-round without risking frozen weather. And sure, there's some of that for the fans in the form of heated seats throughout the stadium. This way, fans can still enjoy the crisp winter air outside during a game while also not catching hypothermia before halftime. But for the players, and the real spectacle in the stadium, we are going in a different direction. That's right, a moat surrounding the field. What better way to highlight the increasing destructiveness of climate change than reminding folks about the melting ice caps while they are eating overpriced stadium food and watching grown men collide into each other. The moat will be heated slightly to avoid freezing, but players will be knocked out of bounds at their own peril.