10-26-2023, 07:23 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-28-2023, 03:13 PM by DL14. Edited 1 time in total.)
OKAY! I was wrong! Just wanted to get that out of the way first. In my last All-Draft Class Team Media piece for Season 21, I said that Seasons 1, 15, 18, 21, and 25 were the only drafts where over 110 draftees were chosen, and that Season 1’s draft was the biggest at 128. Yeahhhhh that was dead wrong. When I was going through the draft threads for that piece, I got to Season 22, and was like “Oh, only 48 players in the first post. Not even worth considering.” Then, one lovely user by the name @[Symmetrik], pointed out that I missed Season 22, and that I probably missed it because the draft thread was broken up into 6 posts. Yup. You hit the nail on the head there, Symmetrik. Astute observation. So, what to do to make it up to the wonderful readers of my media? Do I do the inaugural draft class as the topic of this media? Do I skip over the two heavy hitters and just go to Season 15 for 118 players? Nah, let’s crack out the 284-draftee behemoth that is Season 22’s draft.
This draft reminds me a lot of the Season 18 draft in the PBE, as it was around the same time, right when people were keeping to their houses due to a certain worldwide event. That’s right, it’s the Taylor Swift Fever Draft Class. I’m kidding, it’s obviously the Covid Class of the ISFL. And many users, myself included, flocked to the internet to find new hobbies while cooped up away from the world. That’s how I got into sim leagues, with the Season 18 draft in the PBE housing my first ever sim league player. And while I didn’t find the ISFL until a few seasons later, (and then refound it years later when I actually had time to do two sim leagues) it seems the ISFL also had a massive influx of users for that very reason. So, let’s do what we do….best?....effectively?....mostly badly, and choose one player for every position who I think had the best stats at their specific position from this draft class, and come up with the best possible team from the Season 22 Draft Class. Welcome, to the All-S22 Draft Class Team. Buckle in.
As a disclaimer, I know a lot of this stuff is gonna be wrong. There’s changed names, changed positions, etc. but I’m going to try my best with this, and with the assistance of WolfieBot, hopefully we make it through this media article with SOME integrity left intact and only part of the ISFL coming after me with torches, pitchforks, and pitchforks that are also torches, by virtue of being lit ablaze, as opposed to ALL of the ISFL hunting me down for sport. Heh. Sport. Like football.
So let’s look at the massive list of Season 22 draftees.
Quarterback:
Ben Slothlisberger
Colby Jack
Monterey Jack
Tom Sofa
Luke Skywalker
Sim SnowBow
Suleiman Ramza
Jim Waters
Swift Willy
Cavalier Craighorn
Colin Vance
Allen Spooner
Dude Doggo
Evan Riley
Runningback:
White Goodman
Kichwa Jones
Tatsu Nakamura
Acura Skyline
Julio Tirtawidjaja
Jamar Lackson
Richard Gilbert
Jacoby Batista
Aaron Feels
J.B. Apollo
Zed Keppler
Kevin Fakon
Streetlamp LeMoose
Winston Bragg
Da Owl
Sulu Candles
Anthony De Luca
Patrick Holding
Vince Waterhouse
Troy Pressing
Wide Receiver:
Eddie Jeeta
William Lim
Michael Witheblock
Thomas Passmann
William Alexander
Nick Kaepercolin
Garfield Despacito Jr.
Susan Cash Jr.
Leeroy Jenkins
Kevin Koh
Taylor Cooper
Jamie Watson
Daymond Brooks
Mike Lee
Blake Alexander
Friedrich Vequain
Tan Johnson
Sean Snyder
Ronan Briscoe
Henry Saxe-Coburg-Gotha
Logan Marshall
Cal Cutta
Terrell Brister Jr.
Steve Alvarado
Scott Scott
Nathan Bigelow
Bobby Black
Bryant Moreland
Curious George
Donovan Smith
Tyler Curtis
DeSean Hill
Tight End:
Jeffrey Phillips
Heath Evans
James Angler
Daniel George
Donatello Arrabiata
Nick Marksman
Zee Rechs
Von Hayes
Tristian Hex
Clark Boyd
Shawn Ans?
Rondo Jones
Douglas MacArthur
John Doe
Montgomery Mantooth
Titus Lincoln
Craig Royal
Cameron Tova
Max McClure
Colin Miller
Seth Goepferich
Regan Meynell
Perry King
Ike Oscar
Brent Blackmon
Offensive Line:
Byron Dolls
Bruce Buckley
Tommy Sacamano
Joey McCabe
Jorcher Minor
James Carson
Sylvester Berlin
Fernando Cruz
Gabe Nickson
Toshihide Matsumoto
Julius Augustus
Defensive End:
Troen Egghands
Sandro Ryeu
James Cho
Calvin Golladay
Ismael Sanchez
Patrik Money
Slinky Claxton
Mario Von Pebbles
Simeon Works
Jimmy Frackerson
Buster Brownce
Beef Buckets
Danielle Hunter
D'Brickashaw Cannon
Slim Pickens
Landon Moore
Anthony Brewer
Nathan Bourne
Loin Stake
Justice Wolfe
Will-Barry Underground
Meep Meep
Frank Ngyuen
Ayden Bayden
Chauncey Morrison
Gabriel Graves
Danshawn Jenkins
Rainman Legends
Farrior Deschain
A.J. Warren
DeShawn Jones
Defensive Tackle:
Magnus Rikiya
Phat Boi
Mo Magic
Octavio Clemente
Big Edd
Deshun Jones
Claude Miller II
Nuniq Annastesia
Hank Steel
Tristan Gronlie
Godrick Fallstrum
Clayton Jones
Joe Montania
Lucas Faucher
Kade Hines
Swlane Train
David Banner
Tony Baloney
Chad Zhao
Leland Breeland
Cam Burto
Archideld Bonzales
Anthony DiNapoli
Paul Novotny
Denarius Krackle
Bucky Laurence
Lee Jordan
Matthew Curran
Linebacker:
Stanislaw Koniecpolski
Derred de Ville
Benson Bayley Jr.
Haha Mango-Panda
Lawrence Bass
Fawn Dillmiballs
Jack Banks
Spike Suzuki
George Fisher
Dex Kennedy
Samuel L. Sackson Sr.
Nat Wright
Mark Radson
Devaunte Sackpieder
Cadillac Mitchell
Sean O'Donohue
Jason Kreuscher
Dick Daniels
Adrian Hamsh
Hiram Abiff
Fatso Wombat
Calvin McMann
John Nesbitt
Chudds Whittaker
Julius Andersson
Ronnie Schultz
Sawyer Brutalitops
Daniel Ross
Eugene McEvan
Raiden Briggs
Michael Smydzyck
Buster Nelson
Johnnie McCartney
Tom Thorne
Samuel Miller
Buster Holiday
Caloe Peara
Nicolas Stone
Raheem Bird
Leo Browning
Cornerback:
Colt Mendoza
Brandon Booker
Chester Sweets
Andrew Witten
Thubba Bumper
Tyler Oles Jr.
Eldrick Avery
Cadillac Harris
Ben Stackinpaper
Zamir Kehla
Jonathan Altidor
Bayden Brosley
Matt Krause
Ozamataz Buckshank
Alexander Hamilton II
Tyron Shields
Cody Martin
Bo Jangles
Xaq Schiaparelli
Ricky Boomhauer
Alex Ingram
Thunder Cat
Rico Martinez
Xavier O'Doyle
Valor Gilmore
Kennedy Cannon
Nick Jones
Lance Bangs
Malcom Jenkins
Jay Signs
Rickety Cricket
BooBoo Rodgers
Carlos Woods
JR Maverick
Jacob Caine
Safety:
Matt Cross
Johnny Hellzapoppin
Wesley Eriksen
Buck Thornton
Quinn Hughes
Shawn Dawkins
LiterallyJust A. Hexagon
Eric Barlow
Brendan Lanier
Hamish MacAndrew
Magnus Valdyr
Sebastian Vettel
Abbas Muhammad
Ed Ball
Silas Meissner
Michael Lee
A-Aron Balakae
Hengwei Luo
Jimmy Cooks
Pierre Voodoo
Cosmo Kramer
Jordan Davis
C.D. Waldo
Moe Willis
Amadeus Green
Dean Winchester
Zakary Duke
Montgomery Burns
Elias Ziegler
Matt Elam
Joshua Vanger
Thom Shaylor
Calum Auron
Bartholomew Castor
Patrick Hardy
Dan Jackson
Kicker/Punter:
Matthew McDairmid
Kal Solarin
Sam Sidekick
Jacob Small
Le Kick
Pseudo QB
Seth Lindsey
Bobby Boomski
Cashrinski Blodenheimer
Willis Cannon
Ronan McDonagh
Banjo May
284 names later, here we are. NOW we’re going to cut down this list, and reorder it a bit, so that we eliminate all names that never played in the ISFL, per whether or not WolfieBot has them in its’ database, as well as move a few names around based on where the TPE tracker lists their position at, which may or not be the position they spent the most time at. Place your bets, how many names are we eliminating?
—----------------------------------------------------------------
Quarterback:
Ben Slothlisberger - 1378 TPE
Colby Jack - 1511 TPE
Monterey Jack - 1294 TPE
Luke Skywalker - 917 TPE
Suleiman Ramza - 1415 TPE
Nick Kaepercolin - 1500 TPE
Runningback:
Kichwa Jones - 545 TPE
Tatsu Nakamura - 1458 TPE
Acura Skyline - 949 TPE
Julio Tirtawidjaja - 706 TPE
Jamar Lackson - 1495 TPE
Richard Gilbert - 1304 TPE
Zed Keppler - 416 TPE
Matt Cross - 1347 TPE
Jeffrey Phillips - 820 TPE
Tristian Hex - 507 TPE
Thubba Bumper - 460 TPE
Wide Receiver:
Eddie Jeeta - 906 TPE
William Lim - 1428 TPE
William Alexander - 594 TPE
Garfield Despacito Jr. - 1088 TPE
Susan Cash Jr. - 687 TPE
Blake Alexander - 198 TPE
Sean Snyder - 993 TPE
Tight End:
Heath Evans - 1255 TPE
James Angler - 1429 TPE
Daniel George - 310 TPE
Donatello Arrabiata - 369 TPE
Zee Rechs - 1194 TPE
Friedrich Vequain - 837 TPE
Offensive Line:
Byron Dolls - 994 TPE
Bruce Buckley - 1374 TPE
Joey McCabe - 231 TPE
Leeroy Jenkins - 936 TPE
Thomas Passmann - 1147 TPE
Taylor Cooper - 648 TPE
Matt Krause - 1279 TPE
Benson Bayley Jr. - 1056 TPE
Mo Magic - 1088 TPE
Calvin Golladay - 971 TPE
Clark Boyd - 1239 TPE
Defensive End:
Troen Egghands - 1486 TPE
Sandro Ryeu - 827 TPE
James Cho - 940 TPE
Ismael Sanchez - 390 TPE
Slinky Claxton - 796 TPE
Mario Von Pebbles - 1330 TPE
Simeon Works - 374 TPE
Keʻokeʻo Kāne-Maikaʻi - 1329 TPE
Von Hayes - 1219 TPE
Defensive Tackle:
Magnus Rikiya - 1484 TPE
Claude Miller II - 1019 TPE
Nuniq Annastesia - 547 TPE
Hank Steel - 962 TPE
Tristan Gronlie - 175 TPE
Daymond Brooks - 1068 TPE
BigEddi ForeverYeti - 975 TPE
Colt Mendoza - 1378 TPE
Fawn Dillmiballs - 1258 TPE
Patrik Money - 1463 TPE
Linebacker:
Stanislaw Koniecpolski - 1042 TPE
Derred de Ville - 1295 TPE
Haha Mango-Panda - 1189 TPE
Lawrence Bass - 1403 TPE
Jack Banks - 1290 TPE
Spike Suzuki - 465 TPE
George Fisher - 995 TPE
Dex Kennedy - 1309 TPE
Michael Witheblock - 1490 TPE
Deshun Jones - 1096 TPE
Cornerback:
Brandon Booker - 1488 TPE
Chester Sweets - 321 TPE
Andrew Witten - 1449 TPE
Tyler Oles Jr. - 1031 TPE
Cadillac Harris - 535 TPE
Ben Stackinpaper - 873 TPE
Zamir Kehla - 926 TPE
Jonathan Altidor - 239 TPE
Ozamataz Buckshank - 116 TPE
Tyron Shields - 1297 TPE
Jim Waters - 1197 TPE
Safety:
Johnny Hellzapoppin - 1180 TPE
Wesley Eriksen - 1052 TPE
Buck Thornton - 467 TPE
Quinn Hughes - 401 TPE
Shawn Dawkins - 1478 TPE
LiterallyJust A. Hexagon - 760 TPE
Brendan Lanier - 896 TPE
Hamish MacAndrew - 949 TPE
Magnus Valdyr - 1100 TPE
Abbas Muhammad - 242 TPE
Cuco Clemente - 1483 TPE
Eldrick Avery - 1170 TPE
Ragnar Rok - 380 TPE
Kicker/Punter:
Matthew McDairmid - 1347 TPE
Sam Sidekick - 1123 TPE
Jacob Small - 1057 TPE
Pseudo QB - 317 TPE
Now just to add one note, there was one player I’m not exactly sure what to do with, and that’s Wide Receiver Mike Lee. Lee is not in WolfieBot, but is listed in the TPE Tracker. This makes me think that they just, didn’t play with an ISFL team maybe? But they’ve done transactions with the Yellowknife Wraiths. Their Wiki paige anticipates a call-up to the Yellowknife Wraiths, but lists Arizona Outlaws on the page as well, alongside their DSFL team, the Birddogs. So, not too sure. As it stands, they only capped out around 500ish TPE, so I’m guessing they never got called up, and they probably wouldn’t be the pick anyhow, so I’m leaving them off the list. Sorry!
But, anyway, that cut our list down from 284 to just 98. Pretty impressive, that we’ve basically cut our work down to ⅓ of the original list. Just goes to show that despite how massive the draft was, only a fraction of the picks still panned out. Very similar to the S18 Covid draft in the PBE that brought me into sim leagues initially.
Now let’s get into the choosing of the team! We’ll start with the big one, the quarterback.
------------------------
Quarterback:
**Colby Jack - 1511 TPE - 37,557 Pass Yds, 7.673 Pass Average, 262 Pass TDs, 95.475 Rating, 62.717% (8 seasons)
Nick Kaepercolin - 1500 TPE - 25,918 Pass Yds, 7.264 Pass Average, 151 Pass TDs, 88.614 Rating, 62.640% (6 seasons)
Suleiman Ramza - 1415 TPE - 33,869 Pass Yds, 7.084 Pass Average, 208 Pass TDs, 86.592 Rating, 61.242% (8 seasons)
Ben Slothlisberger - 1378 TPE - 29,868 Pass Yds, 7.288 Pass Average, 186 Pass TDs, 90.041 Rating, 59.858% (7 Seasons)
Monterey Jack - 1294 TPE - 32,038 Pass Yds, 7.143 Pass Average, 177 Pass TDs, 86.084 Rating, 61.338% (8 seasons)
Luke Skywalker - 917 TPE - 23,319 Pass Yds, 6.701 Pass Average, 126 Pass TDs, 82.398 Rating, 60.316% (6 seasons)
Analysis: This is actually a fairly close battle. The first one to drop from consideration is the least surprising, being Luke Skywalker. The force was just not with him, being last in nearly every category. Even though he has less seasons under his belt, I’m not super confident in his ability to match the stats of some of these other arms. Maybe it’s the lower Pass TD rate than the others, as they’re netting about 20 per season, and adding 2 more seasons of that on to Skywalker’s total would still leave him well short of a few of these QB’s. After Skywalker’s dropped though, the rest of these are kind of close. Monterey Jack and Suleiman Ramza though are just outclassed in literally every category by Colby Jack, who has the same amount of seasons played as Monterey and Suleiman. So it comes down to Colby Jack, Nick Kaepercolin and Ben Slothlisburger. Ben and Nick have less seasons played than Colby over their careers, so we could go for the prediction of where they would be if they played an 8th season (or a 7th AND 8th season for Kaepercolin), but I think I’ll go with the known entity, part of the benefit of hindsight.
Verdict: COLBY JACK
------------------------
Runningback:
**Jamar Lackson - 1495 TPE - 11,716 Rush Yds, 4.465 Rush Avg, 96 Rush TDs, 479 Receptions, 4,696 Receiving Yds, 9.804 Receiving Avg, 37 Receiving TDs (11 seasons)
**Tatsu Nakamura - 1458 TPE - 14,061 Rush Yds, 4.500 Rush Avg, 156 Rush TDs, 487 Receptions, 4,686 Rec Yds, 9.622 Rec Avg, 19 Rec TDs (13 seasons)
Matt Cross - 1347 TPE - 741 Rush Yds, 4.385 Rush Avg, 4 Rush TD, 73 Receptions, 681 Rec Yds, 9.329 Rec Avg, 7 Rec TD (2 seasons)
Richard Gilbert - 1304 TPE - 6,675 Rush Yds, 4.301 Rush Avg, 72 Rush TD, 365 Receptions, 2,582 Rec Yds, 7.074 Red Avg, 21 Rec TD (8 seasons)
Acura Skyline - 949 TPE - 7,237 Rush Yds, 4.336 Rush Avg, 61 Rush TD, 328 Receptions, 3,324 Rec Yds, 10.134 Rec Avg, 20 Rec TD (9 seasons)
Jeffrey Phillips - 820 TPE - 1,542 Rush Yds, 4.566 Rush Avg, 12 Rush TD, 224 Receptions, 2,348 Rec Yds, 10.482 Rec Avg, 10 Rec TD (3 seasons)
Julio Tirtawidjaja - 706 TPE - 4,877 Rush Yds, 3.965 Rush Avg, 32 Rush TD, 197 Receptions, 1,543 Rec Yds, 7.832 Rec Avg, 7 Rec TD (6 seasons)
Kichwa Jones - 545 TPE - 3,759 Rush Yds, 3.887 Rush Avg, 23 Rush TD, 122 Receptions, 811 Rec Yds, 6.648 Rec Avg, 4 Rec TD (8 seasons)
Tristian Hex - 507 TPE - 99 Rush Yds, 3.300 Rush Avg, 2 Rush TD, 45 Receptions, 334 Rec Yds, 7.422 Rec Avg, 0 Rec TD (5 seasons)
Thubba Bumper - 460 TPE - 735 Rush Yds, 4.129 Rush Avg, 5 Rush TD, 19 Receptions, 202 Rec Yds, 10.632 Rec Avg, 0 Rec TD (1 season)
Zed Keppler - 416 TPE - 833 Rush Yeds, 3.702 Rush Avg, 6 Rush TD, 40 Receptions, 235 Rec Yds, 5.875 Rec Avg, 3 Rec TD (3 seasons)
Analysis: Matt Cross has the unfortunate situation of having only been a running back for two seasons. He played on the defense squad for Philadelphia for the other seasons on his career. Being the third-highest TPE in this grouping, he definitely would have had a much better chance at this one than he does. Thubba Bumper almost has the same amount of Rushing Yards in one season that Matt Cross had in 2. So Cross is out. If you look at the pace of a bit over 1000 Rush Yds per season that players like Lackson and Nakamura are setting, you’ll notice that several other players in this grouping are not living up to that standard. Gilbert, Skyline, Phillips, Tirtawidjaja, Jones, Hex, Bumper, and Keppler all fall short of that mark. (and Cross, but we already talked about him.) So of the two remaining, Lackson and Nakamura, who are we liking better? It’s close. If you’re looking for a receiving back with good hands, especially in the endzone, Lackson may be your guy, with 37 Receiving TDs, and a bit better of an average on receiving yards, as well as a few more yards, with two less seasons under their belt. If you’re looking for someone who can brute force their way into the endzone, Nakamura just has, oh, about 40 more Rushing TDs in only two more seasons than Lackson. I can see an argument for either of them. They definitely excel in different scenarios and there isn’t a wrong answer here. That said, I do have to make a decision for my list, and in the end, for the style of runningback that I personally prefer, I gotta go with the guy that keeps it a bit more on the ground.
Verdict: TATSU NAKAMURA
It feels wrong picking between those two. Bring on the “Lackson was snubbed” comments. I can take it. I think. But honestly, this has been the toughest decision I’ve had to make in two of these articles now, and I think I went with the hot take since Lackson made the HOF a season before Nakamura did, I think on the first ballot?
------------------------
Wide Receiver:
**William Lim - 1428 TPE - 977 Receptions, 14,692 Rec Yds, 15.038 Rec Avg, 106 Rec TDs (11 seasons)
Garfield Despacito Jr. - 1088 TPE - 586 Receptions, 8,297 Rec Yds, 14.159 Rec Avg, 57 Rec TDs (8 seasons)
Sean Snyder - 993 TPE - 523 Receptions, 6,801 Rec Yds, 13.004 Rec Avg, 40 Rec TDs (9 seasons)
Eddie Jeeta - 906 TPE - 521 Receptions, 6,805 Rec Yds, 13.061 Rec Avg, 46 Rec TDs (9 seasons)
Susan Cash Jr. - 687 TPE - 340 Receptions, 5,020 Rec Yds, 14.765 Rec Avg, 33 Rec TDs (5 seasons)
William Alexander - 594 TPE - 262 Receptions, 2,992 Rec Yds, 11.420 Rec Avg, 21 Rec TDs (7 seasons)
Blake Alexander - 198 TPE - 24 Receptions, 246 Rec Yds, 10.250 Rec Avg, 1 Rec TD (1 season)
Analysis: While just looking at the numbers, you would think this would be a slam dunk for William Lim (and it kind of is….) I do have to do my due diligence here and take into account that Lim played for three more seasons than Despacito Jr. who is his main competition here, and at least two more seasons than the rest of the class here as well. But when there’s a 6000 yard difference over 3 seasons, it’s kind of hard to choose anyone else here.
Verdict: WILLIAM LIM
------------------------
Tight End:
**James Angler - 1429 TPE - 722 Receptions, 9,111 Receiving Yds, 12.619 Rec Avg, 55 Rec TD, 234 Other Pancakes (9 seasons)
Heath Evans - 1255 TPE - 665 Receptions, 6,844 Receiving Yds, 10.292 Rec Avg, 38 Rec TD, 283 Other Pancakes (8 seasons)
Zee Rechs - 1194 TPE - 619 Receptions, 5,389 Receiving Yds, 8.706 Rec Avg, 46 Rec TD, 361 Other Pancakes (8 seasons)
Friedrich Vequain - 837 TPE - 377 Receptions, 3,200 Receiving Yds, 8.488 Rec Avg, 13 Rec TD, 218 Other Pancakes (6 seasons)
Donatello Arrabiata - 369 TPE - 137 Receptions, 979 Receiving Yds, 7.146 Rec Avg, 3 Rec TD, 68 Other Pancakes (6 seasons)
Daniel George - 310 TPE - 219 Receptions, 1,693 Receiving Yds, 7.731 Rec Avg, 4 Rec TD, 140 Other Pancakes (5 seasons)
Analysis: I think this one is actually fairly easy looking at the stats. Yeah Angler has an extra season over Evans and Rechs, but the difference in Recaptions, Receiving Yards, and Receiving TD’s between Angler and either of these guys is NOT a one season difference. The big thing to mention though is the pancakes, as Angler was definitely used less as a blocking tight end than a receiving tight end, and therefore his pancake totals are only 3rd in this draft class behind Evans and Rechs, but in the end, the receptions that he was able to put on the board for his team made all the difference here.
Verdict: JAMES ANGLER
------------------------
Offensive Line:
**Bruce Buckley - 1374 TPE - 1,339 Other Pancakes, 18 Sacks allowed (13 seasons)
Matt Krause - 1279 TPE - 294 Other Pancakes, 3 Sacks allowed (3 seasons)
Clark Boyd - 1239 TPE - 456 Other Pancakes, 9 Sacks allowed (10 seasons)
Thomas Passmann - 1147 TPE - 137 Other Pancakes, 0 Sacks allowed (5 seasons)
Mo Magic - 1088 TPE - 717 Other Pancakes, 6 Sacks allowed (7 seasons)
Benson Bayley Jr. - 1056 TPE - 345 Other Pancakes, 8 Sacks allowed (5 seasons)
**Byron Dolls - 994 TPE - 825 Other Pancakes, 13 Sacks allowed (10 seasons)
Calvin Golladay - 971 TPE - 819 Other Pancakes, 21 Sacks Allowed (11 seasons)
Leeroy Jenkins - 936 TPE - 333 Other Pancakes, 6 Sacks allowed (5 seasons)
Taylor Cooper - 648 TPE - 208 Other Pancakes, 2 Sacks allowed (3 seasons)
Joey McCabe - 231 TPE - 168 Other Pancakes, 13 Sacks allowed (3 seasons)
Analysis: This one’s a mess, several players have spent full, or half seasons at other positions, and deciphering which ones were where it near impossible without research that is much more extensive than I’m willing to do for this media piece. I’m already researching enough, I’m not scavenger hunting. So we’re just looking at the seasons spent at the Offensive Line position, even if certain players spent more time at other positions instead. In the end, I think there’s kind of a clear answer. While Byron Dolls is a great pick, I think I have to go with Bruce Buckley here. Dolls averages about 82 pancakes a season, while Buckley is over 100. And while Buckley allows just a hair more sacks per season, I think the brute strength he demonstrates on the line overshadows Dolls’s stats. Honorable mention does go to Matt Krause, who was actually on pace a bit to match up with Buckley in terms of pancakes per season, as well as Calvin Golladay who was third in the class in pancakes, but also led the class in sacks allowed.
Verdict: BRUCE BUCKLEY
------------------------
Defensive End:
Troen Egghands - 1486 TPE - 507 Tck, 80 TFL, 74 Sack, 15 FF (11 seasons)
Mario Von Pebbles - 1330 TPE - 311 Tck, 77 TFL, 55 Sack, 12 FF (8 seasons)
Keʻokeʻo Kāne-Maikaʻi - 1329 TPE - 236 Tck, 24 TFL, 55 Sack, 10 FF (5 seasons)
Von Hayes - 1219 TPE - 255 Tck, 35 TFL, 41 Sack, 8 FF (8 seasons)
James Cho - 940 TPE - 374 Tck, 83 TFL, 63 Sack, 12 FF (9 seasons)
Sandro Ryeu - 827 TPE - 326 Tck, 67 TFL, 51 Sack, 7 FF (8 seasons)
Slinky Claxton - 796 TPE - 277 Tck, 39 TFL, 49 Sack, 5 FF (8 seasons)
Ismael Sanchez - 390 TPE - 124 Tck, 24 TFL, 5 Sack, 1 FF (6 seasons)
Simeon Works - 374 TPE - 101 Tck, 54 TFL, 7 Sack, 1 FF (3 seasons)
Analysis: Troen Egghands spent a bit longer at Defensive End than anyone else in this draft class, and the stats reflect that. They had plenty of time to rack up the Tackles, TFLs, Sacks, and Forced Fumbles. And Mario Von Pebbles actually came pretty close to reaching some of those stats. While Von Pebbles didn’t reach any of those numbers, their numbers per season are actually BETTER than Egghands everywhere except Tackles, where Egghands leads the class in tackles per season, with only James Cho coming close. So while Von Pebbles didn’t get too many tackles compared to the rest of the class, their average numbers seemed to be objectively better per season everywhere else, and it nets them the DE nod here.
Verdict: MARIO VON PEBBLES
------------------------
Defensive Tackle:
Magnus Rikiya - 1484 TPE - 537 Tck, 26 TFL, 48 Sack, 11 FF (11 seasons)
Patrik Money - 1463 TPE - 647 Tck, 26 TFL, 65 Sack, 6 FF (12 seasons)
Colt Mendoza - 1378 TPE - 940 Tck, 22 TFL, 23 Sack, 9 FF (12 seasons)
Fawn Dillmiballs - 1258 TPE - 781 Tck, 24 TFL, 42 Sack, 9 FF (11 seasons)
Daymond Brooks - 1068 TPE - 455 Tck, 35 TFL, 53 Sack, 9 FF (10 seasons)
Claude Miller II - 1019 TPE - 419 Tck, 27 TFL, 25 Sack, 4 FF (10 seasons)
BigEddi ForeverYeti - 975 TPE - 487 Tck, 38 TFL, 70 Sack, 10 FF (9 seasons)
Hank Steel - 962 TPE - 347 Tck, 40 TFL, 40 Sack, 3 FF (9 seasons)
Nuniq Annastesia - 547 TPE - 300 Tck, 10 TFL, 20 Sack, 3 FF (8 seasons)
Tristan Gronlie - 175 TPE - 136 Tck, 662 TFL, 12 Sack, 3 FF (4 seasons)
Analysis: Maybe it’s the position, maybe it’s the fact that a good chunk of these DT’s earned very well, but there seems to be a lot of longevity here among the Defensive Tackle class. Even a 175 TPE Gronlie managed to stick around for 4 seasons, and Nuniq Annastesia put up 8 seasons without passing 550 TPE. This does make things a bit easier to compare than trying to double up statlines from a 4 season player to see how comparable they are to an 8 season player. And when comparing these DT’s, it actually becomes fairly difficult to make a pick here. Mendoza leads the class in tackles, Hank Steel leads in TFL’s, Patrik Money has the Sack crown, and Magnus Rikiya forced the most fumbles. Soooo who’s the pick then? I tried matching them up each 1 on 1 against each other comparing stats, and what I got was that Money beat Steel and Rikiya, but tied with Mendoza, Mendoza tied with literally all 3, Rikiya beat Steel, lost to Money and tied with Mendoza, and Steel tied with Mendoza and lost to the other two. Because of all of that, I think….I go with Patrik Money here? But I’m not confident about this one lol. I think this one had a few players play in different defensive positions and that’s why their stats are so wonky, but my decision is made, for better or worse.
Verdict: PATRIK MONEY
------------------------
Linebacker:
Michael Witheblock - 1490 TPE - 263 Tck, 11 TFL, 32 Sack, 27 PD, 3 FF (3 seasons)
Lawrence Bass - 1403 TPE - 909 Tck, 94 TFL, 56 Sack, 79 PD, 7 INT, 17 FF (11 seasons)
Dex Kennedy - 1309 TPE - 832 Tck, 25 TFL, 47 Sack, 52 PD, 7 INT, 14 FF (7 seasons)
**Derred de Ville - 1295 TPE - 1144 Tck, 31 TFL, 104 Sack, 155 PD, 13 INT, 23 FF (11 seasons)
Jack Banks - 1290 TPE - 973 Tck, 32 TFL, 100 Sack, 98 PD, 9 INT, 16 FF (9 seasons)
Haha Mango-Panda - 1189 TPE - 792 Tck, 19 TFL, 42 Sack, 100 PD, 11 INT, 15 FF (7 seasons)
Deshun Jones - 1096 TPE - 825 Tck, 18 TFL, 63 Sack, 77 PD, 1 INT, 15 FF (9 seasons)
Stanislaw Koniecpolski - 1042 TPE - 959 Tck, 17 TFL, 25 Sack, 69 PD, 12 INT, 9 FF (10 seasons)
George Fisher - 995 TPE - 772 Tck, 26 TFL, 43 Sack, 43 PD, 2 INT, 7 FF (10 seasons)
Spike Suzuki - 465 TPE - 519 Tck, 45 TFL, 43 Sack, 42 PD, 3 INT, 4 FF (8 seasons)
Analysis: This one threw me off the rails, SO much, and I think, based on the stats, that some of these players played in different defensive positions than Linebacker? If we ignore Withtheblock, who spent most of his time as a Wide Receiver (and therefore should probably be in that category, but I wouldn’t have picked him), the highest TPE players are Bass, Kennedy and deVille. And while de Ville just straight outclasses Bass in almost every category over the same amount of seasons, there’s one where Bass dominates in, TFL’s. Which, linebackers do get every now and then, but it’s not a prime stat for them necessarily. 31 is good for de Ville. And yet, Bass has over 90. Which makes me think maybe he spent some time as a DE, (which really makes sense when he had 18 TFLs in his first two seasons, 15 in his second, 12 in his third, and only cracked 10 once in his remaining 7 seasons) so I’m not exactly sure how to qualify a winner here since a few of these guys weren’t fulltime linebackers. In the end, there’s one that I know was a linebacker for a long enough time to be nominated as a linebacker to the Hall of Fame, and get in. And it’s good, because they’re also the one that leads the class in almost every category (except TFL’s because of Bass doing Bass things)
Verdict: DERRED DE VILLE
------------------------
Cornerback:
**Brandon Booker - 1488 TPE - 964 Tck, 204 PD, 37 INT, 11 FF (13 seasons)
**Andrew Witten - 1449 TPE - 964 Tck, 209 PD, 36 INT, 11 FF (11 seasons)
Tyron Shields - 1297 TPE - 748 Tck, 110 PD, 13 INT, 7 FF (7 seasons)
Jim Waters - 1197 TPE - 647 Tck, 174 PD, 19 INT, 8 FF (8 seasons)
Tyler Oles Jr. - 1031 TPE - 338 Tck, 106 PD, 12 INT, 5 FF (6 seasons)
Zamir Kehla - 926 TPE - 284 Tck, 63 PD, 13 INT, 2 FF (5 seasons)
Ben Stackinpaper - 873 TPE - 629 Tck, 122 PD, 14 INT, 11 FF (8 seasons)
Cadillac Harris - 535 TPE - 350 Tck, 76 PD, 5 INT, 3 FF (6 seasons)
Chester Sweets - 321 TPE - 141 Tck, 16 PD, 1 INT, 2 FF (3 seasons)
Jonathan Altidor - 239 TPE - 84 Tck, 27 PD, 2 INT, 2 FF (4 seasons)
Ozamataz Buckshank - 116 TPE - ????
Analysis: I have no idea what to do about Ozamataz Buckshank, who’s listed as a cornerback but has no defensive stats, and from the stats they do have, it looks like they may have been a running back? But they have 9 seasons under their belt of fairly decent offensive stats, which seems weird for only amounting to 116 TPE. I don’t think they would have been my pick for running back anyhow, and I only discovered this AFTER I wrote the running back section anyhow, so unfortunately, they’ll just be left here. As for the rest of the Cornerback class, you may think right off the bat, that this is a two horse race between the two Hall of Famers on the list, Brandon Booker and Andrew Witten. And while you’d be right to think that, the decision here for me is a lot easier than say, the Running Back decision. You see, while Booker and Witten both have EXTREMELY comparable stats, having the same amount of Tackles and Forced Fumbles, and only differing in PD’s by 5, and INT’s by 1, there’s one that is the clear choice to me. Because while Brandon Booker put up all these incredible numbers in 13 seasons in the ISFL….Andrew Witten got to these numbers in two less seasons. While Booker absolutely deserves the Hall of Fame nod (as does Witten), the fact that Witten could be that close to Booker’s statline with two less seasons under his belt is amazing to me.
Verdict: ANDREW WITTEN
------------------------
Safety:
**Cuco Clemente - 1483 TPE - 617 Tck, 43 Sack, 99 PD, 29 INT, 9 FF (10 seasons)
Shawn Dawkins - 1478 TPE - 682 Tck, 30 Sack, 103 PD, 32 INT, 10 FF (10 seasons)
Johnny Hellzapoppin - 1180 TPE - 687 Tck, 35 Sack, 83 PD, 17 INT, 4 FF (10 seasons)
Eldrick Avery - 1170 TPE - 557 Tck, 6 Sack, 150 PD, 18 INT, 6 FF (9 seasons)
Magnus Valdyr - 1100 TPE - 761 Tck, 28 Sack, 82 PD, 10 INT, 7 FF (10 seasons)
Wesley Eriksen - 1052 TPE - 661 Tck, 34 Sack, 96 PD, 20 INT, 7 FF (10 seasons)
Hamish MacAndrew - 949 TPE - 595 Tck, 45 Sack, 53 PD, 25 INT, 14 FF (10 seasons)
Brendan Lanier - 896 TPE - 570 Tck, 48 Sack, 67 PD, 12 INT, 12 FF (9 seasons)
LiterallyJust A. Hexagon - 760 TPE - 491 Tck, 1 Sack, 30 PD, 5 INT, 6 FF (4 seasons)
Buck Thornton - 467 TPE - 256 Tck, 23 Sack, 10 PD, 4 INT, 2 FF (5 seasons)
Quinn Hughes - 401 TPE - 141 Tck, 9 Sack, 7 PD, 6 INT, 2 FF (2 seasons)
Ragnar Rok - 380 TPE - 395 Tck, 11 Sack, 28 PD, 15 INT, 6 FF (7 seasons)
Abbas Muhammad - 242 TPE - 9 Tck, 0 Sack, 7 PD, 1 INT, 0 FF (1 season)
Analysis: I am well and thoroughly confused on this one. Shawn Dawkins has less sacks than Hall of Famer Cuco Clemente, but better stats everywhere else in the same amount of seasons. More Tackles, more PD’s, more INTs, more FF’s. And yet, Dawkins hasn’t made HOF, but Cuco has. Should I start a #Dawkins4Hall campaign? I asked in my DSFL locker room, and the response I got back was that perhaps it was due to the user behind the player, the pro bowls or rings that they had, or the values held at the time by the voting committee. Shoutout by the way to @[WALDO] and @[ZootTX] for the assist on this one, always happy to receive some help with the research. Apparently Cuco has one more ring, two SotY (compared to none from Dawkins) awards, 5 All-Pro nods (again, none from Dawkins), and 2 more Pro Bowl appearances. And in a category I didn’t include on this list, TFLs (which I found weird for safeties to be judged on), Cuco does beat out Dawkins. But in the end, rings, pro bowls, values of a specific voting committee, they all don’t matter to me, we’re looking at stats ALONE here. And Dawkins actually beats out Cuco Clemente in almost every relevant category, though it is EXCEPTIONALLY close here. Hellzapoppin and Eriksen got close in this one too, but I think the win still goes to Dawkins for my list, just based on the stats, though Cuco is not a wrong answer here by any means, and being the only one in the Hall of Fame from this position and draft class, I think I PROBABLY should be giving this nod to Cuco, but for the life of me, I just really want to pick Dawkins here since it feels like he may be underappreciated, and both of these safeties played PHENOMENALLY. Maybe it is time to get the #Dawkins4Hall trending.
Verdict: SHAWN DAWKINS
------------------------
Kicker/Punter:
Matthew McDairmid - 1347 TPE - 97.051% XPPCT, 89.206% FGPCT, 48.375 P Avg (10 seasons)
Sam Sidekick - 1123 TPE - 97.175% XPPCT, 86.455% FGPCT, 46.774 P Avg (11 seasons)
Jacob Small - 1057 TPE - 97.368% XPPCT, 89.757% FGPCT, 45.933 P Avg (11 seasons)
Pseudo QB - 317 TPE - 97.674% XPPCT, 87.313% FGPCT, 44.278 P Avg (5 seasons)
Analysis: This one is weird. In terms of Extra Points, all 4 of these kickers have a very similar percentage, all within 1% of each other. But in terms of FGPCT, Jacob Small and Matthew McDairmid definitely hold the crown, both above 89% of kicks. And yes, unlike my last article of this kind, I did look at the actual breakdown of the distances for the FG kicks, I just didn’t want to clog this article with too much raw data points. Instead, let’s clog the article by TALKING about the raw data points. All 4 of these kickers didn’t miss a single kick from under 20 yards. Totally understandable, makes sense. Small and McDairmid also didn’t miss a kick from the 20-29 range, while both QB and Sidekick did at least once. McDairmid has the best 30-39 FGPCT at 98.913, but Small beats him out in the 40-49 range, 83.761 to 81.72, as well as the 50 range, 67.647% to 65.217%. Oddly enough, of the 4, Sidekick has the best accuracy from the 50 yd line at 70.213%, and QB is 2nd in the 30-39 range after McDairmid, but other than those two pointst, both Sidekick and QB are actually outclassed in every other range by both McDairmid and Small. So it’s a two horse race again, and while Small does beat out McDairmid by about 2 percentage points in both the 40-49 and the 50 range, McDairmid is 6% more accurate from 30-39. That may not seem huge, but when you’re that close to the uprights, you want as much accuracy as you can possibly get. Plus McDairmid also has a longer Punt average.
Verdict: MATTHEW MCDAIRMID
Overall, here’s the team!
QB: Colby Jack
RB: Tatsu Nakamura
WR: William Lim
TE: James Angler
OL: Bruce Buckley
DE: Mario Von Pebbles
DT: Patrik Money
LB: Derred de Ville
CB: Andrew Witten
S: Shawn Dawkins
K/P: Matthew McDairmid
This was a tough one. Definitely a lot of tough calls, especially at RB, DT, LB, S, and K/P. I’m sure I’m gonna get some comments telling me that certain players were snubbed on this one. But with a class this big, even if only ⅓ of the draftees pan out, that’s still a significant number, and it leads to a lot of tough calls. I’m curious though, what does the ISFL Media Audience think? Please let me know which of my hot takes you disagree with! I’m very curious to find out what your team may look like. I’m enjoying this series, but it is a lot of research. Luckily this is the largest draft class in ISFL history, so it’s all downhill from here in terms of word count. Thanks for reading!
This draft reminds me a lot of the Season 18 draft in the PBE, as it was around the same time, right when people were keeping to their houses due to a certain worldwide event. That’s right, it’s the Taylor Swift Fever Draft Class. I’m kidding, it’s obviously the Covid Class of the ISFL. And many users, myself included, flocked to the internet to find new hobbies while cooped up away from the world. That’s how I got into sim leagues, with the Season 18 draft in the PBE housing my first ever sim league player. And while I didn’t find the ISFL until a few seasons later, (and then refound it years later when I actually had time to do two sim leagues) it seems the ISFL also had a massive influx of users for that very reason. So, let’s do what we do….best?....effectively?....mostly badly, and choose one player for every position who I think had the best stats at their specific position from this draft class, and come up with the best possible team from the Season 22 Draft Class. Welcome, to the All-S22 Draft Class Team. Buckle in.
As a disclaimer, I know a lot of this stuff is gonna be wrong. There’s changed names, changed positions, etc. but I’m going to try my best with this, and with the assistance of WolfieBot, hopefully we make it through this media article with SOME integrity left intact and only part of the ISFL coming after me with torches, pitchforks, and pitchforks that are also torches, by virtue of being lit ablaze, as opposed to ALL of the ISFL hunting me down for sport. Heh. Sport. Like football.
So let’s look at the massive list of Season 22 draftees.
Quarterback:
Ben Slothlisberger
Colby Jack
Monterey Jack
Tom Sofa
Luke Skywalker
Sim SnowBow
Suleiman Ramza
Jim Waters
Swift Willy
Cavalier Craighorn
Colin Vance
Allen Spooner
Dude Doggo
Evan Riley
Runningback:
White Goodman
Kichwa Jones
Tatsu Nakamura
Acura Skyline
Julio Tirtawidjaja
Jamar Lackson
Richard Gilbert
Jacoby Batista
Aaron Feels
J.B. Apollo
Zed Keppler
Kevin Fakon
Streetlamp LeMoose
Winston Bragg
Da Owl
Sulu Candles
Anthony De Luca
Patrick Holding
Vince Waterhouse
Troy Pressing
Wide Receiver:
Eddie Jeeta
William Lim
Michael Witheblock
Thomas Passmann
William Alexander
Nick Kaepercolin
Garfield Despacito Jr.
Susan Cash Jr.
Leeroy Jenkins
Kevin Koh
Taylor Cooper
Jamie Watson
Daymond Brooks
Mike Lee
Blake Alexander
Friedrich Vequain
Tan Johnson
Sean Snyder
Ronan Briscoe
Henry Saxe-Coburg-Gotha
Logan Marshall
Cal Cutta
Terrell Brister Jr.
Steve Alvarado
Scott Scott
Nathan Bigelow
Bobby Black
Bryant Moreland
Curious George
Donovan Smith
Tyler Curtis
DeSean Hill
Tight End:
Jeffrey Phillips
Heath Evans
James Angler
Daniel George
Donatello Arrabiata
Nick Marksman
Zee Rechs
Von Hayes
Tristian Hex
Clark Boyd
Shawn Ans?
Rondo Jones
Douglas MacArthur
John Doe
Montgomery Mantooth
Titus Lincoln
Craig Royal
Cameron Tova
Max McClure
Colin Miller
Seth Goepferich
Regan Meynell
Perry King
Ike Oscar
Brent Blackmon
Offensive Line:
Byron Dolls
Bruce Buckley
Tommy Sacamano
Joey McCabe
Jorcher Minor
James Carson
Sylvester Berlin
Fernando Cruz
Gabe Nickson
Toshihide Matsumoto
Julius Augustus
Defensive End:
Troen Egghands
Sandro Ryeu
James Cho
Calvin Golladay
Ismael Sanchez
Patrik Money
Slinky Claxton
Mario Von Pebbles
Simeon Works
Jimmy Frackerson
Buster Brownce
Beef Buckets
Danielle Hunter
D'Brickashaw Cannon
Slim Pickens
Landon Moore
Anthony Brewer
Nathan Bourne
Loin Stake
Justice Wolfe
Will-Barry Underground
Meep Meep
Frank Ngyuen
Ayden Bayden
Chauncey Morrison
Gabriel Graves
Danshawn Jenkins
Rainman Legends
Farrior Deschain
A.J. Warren
DeShawn Jones
Defensive Tackle:
Magnus Rikiya
Phat Boi
Mo Magic
Octavio Clemente
Big Edd
Deshun Jones
Claude Miller II
Nuniq Annastesia
Hank Steel
Tristan Gronlie
Godrick Fallstrum
Clayton Jones
Joe Montania
Lucas Faucher
Kade Hines
Swlane Train
David Banner
Tony Baloney
Chad Zhao
Leland Breeland
Cam Burto
Archideld Bonzales
Anthony DiNapoli
Paul Novotny
Denarius Krackle
Bucky Laurence
Lee Jordan
Matthew Curran
Linebacker:
Stanislaw Koniecpolski
Derred de Ville
Benson Bayley Jr.
Haha Mango-Panda
Lawrence Bass
Fawn Dillmiballs
Jack Banks
Spike Suzuki
George Fisher
Dex Kennedy
Samuel L. Sackson Sr.
Nat Wright
Mark Radson
Devaunte Sackpieder
Cadillac Mitchell
Sean O'Donohue
Jason Kreuscher
Dick Daniels
Adrian Hamsh
Hiram Abiff
Fatso Wombat
Calvin McMann
John Nesbitt
Chudds Whittaker
Julius Andersson
Ronnie Schultz
Sawyer Brutalitops
Daniel Ross
Eugene McEvan
Raiden Briggs
Michael Smydzyck
Buster Nelson
Johnnie McCartney
Tom Thorne
Samuel Miller
Buster Holiday
Caloe Peara
Nicolas Stone
Raheem Bird
Leo Browning
Cornerback:
Colt Mendoza
Brandon Booker
Chester Sweets
Andrew Witten
Thubba Bumper
Tyler Oles Jr.
Eldrick Avery
Cadillac Harris
Ben Stackinpaper
Zamir Kehla
Jonathan Altidor
Bayden Brosley
Matt Krause
Ozamataz Buckshank
Alexander Hamilton II
Tyron Shields
Cody Martin
Bo Jangles
Xaq Schiaparelli
Ricky Boomhauer
Alex Ingram
Thunder Cat
Rico Martinez
Xavier O'Doyle
Valor Gilmore
Kennedy Cannon
Nick Jones
Lance Bangs
Malcom Jenkins
Jay Signs
Rickety Cricket
BooBoo Rodgers
Carlos Woods
JR Maverick
Jacob Caine
Safety:
Matt Cross
Johnny Hellzapoppin
Wesley Eriksen
Buck Thornton
Quinn Hughes
Shawn Dawkins
LiterallyJust A. Hexagon
Eric Barlow
Brendan Lanier
Hamish MacAndrew
Magnus Valdyr
Sebastian Vettel
Abbas Muhammad
Ed Ball
Silas Meissner
Michael Lee
A-Aron Balakae
Hengwei Luo
Jimmy Cooks
Pierre Voodoo
Cosmo Kramer
Jordan Davis
C.D. Waldo
Moe Willis
Amadeus Green
Dean Winchester
Zakary Duke
Montgomery Burns
Elias Ziegler
Matt Elam
Joshua Vanger
Thom Shaylor
Calum Auron
Bartholomew Castor
Patrick Hardy
Dan Jackson
Kicker/Punter:
Matthew McDairmid
Kal Solarin
Sam Sidekick
Jacob Small
Le Kick
Pseudo QB
Seth Lindsey
Bobby Boomski
Cashrinski Blodenheimer
Willis Cannon
Ronan McDonagh
Banjo May
284 names later, here we are. NOW we’re going to cut down this list, and reorder it a bit, so that we eliminate all names that never played in the ISFL, per whether or not WolfieBot has them in its’ database, as well as move a few names around based on where the TPE tracker lists their position at, which may or not be the position they spent the most time at. Place your bets, how many names are we eliminating?
—----------------------------------------------------------------
Quarterback:
Ben Slothlisberger - 1378 TPE
Colby Jack - 1511 TPE
Monterey Jack - 1294 TPE
Luke Skywalker - 917 TPE
Suleiman Ramza - 1415 TPE
Nick Kaepercolin - 1500 TPE
Runningback:
Kichwa Jones - 545 TPE
Tatsu Nakamura - 1458 TPE
Acura Skyline - 949 TPE
Julio Tirtawidjaja - 706 TPE
Jamar Lackson - 1495 TPE
Richard Gilbert - 1304 TPE
Zed Keppler - 416 TPE
Matt Cross - 1347 TPE
Jeffrey Phillips - 820 TPE
Tristian Hex - 507 TPE
Thubba Bumper - 460 TPE
Wide Receiver:
Eddie Jeeta - 906 TPE
William Lim - 1428 TPE
William Alexander - 594 TPE
Garfield Despacito Jr. - 1088 TPE
Susan Cash Jr. - 687 TPE
Blake Alexander - 198 TPE
Sean Snyder - 993 TPE
Tight End:
Heath Evans - 1255 TPE
James Angler - 1429 TPE
Daniel George - 310 TPE
Donatello Arrabiata - 369 TPE
Zee Rechs - 1194 TPE
Friedrich Vequain - 837 TPE
Offensive Line:
Byron Dolls - 994 TPE
Bruce Buckley - 1374 TPE
Joey McCabe - 231 TPE
Leeroy Jenkins - 936 TPE
Thomas Passmann - 1147 TPE
Taylor Cooper - 648 TPE
Matt Krause - 1279 TPE
Benson Bayley Jr. - 1056 TPE
Mo Magic - 1088 TPE
Calvin Golladay - 971 TPE
Clark Boyd - 1239 TPE
Defensive End:
Troen Egghands - 1486 TPE
Sandro Ryeu - 827 TPE
James Cho - 940 TPE
Ismael Sanchez - 390 TPE
Slinky Claxton - 796 TPE
Mario Von Pebbles - 1330 TPE
Simeon Works - 374 TPE
Keʻokeʻo Kāne-Maikaʻi - 1329 TPE
Von Hayes - 1219 TPE
Defensive Tackle:
Magnus Rikiya - 1484 TPE
Claude Miller II - 1019 TPE
Nuniq Annastesia - 547 TPE
Hank Steel - 962 TPE
Tristan Gronlie - 175 TPE
Daymond Brooks - 1068 TPE
BigEddi ForeverYeti - 975 TPE
Colt Mendoza - 1378 TPE
Fawn Dillmiballs - 1258 TPE
Patrik Money - 1463 TPE
Linebacker:
Stanislaw Koniecpolski - 1042 TPE
Derred de Ville - 1295 TPE
Haha Mango-Panda - 1189 TPE
Lawrence Bass - 1403 TPE
Jack Banks - 1290 TPE
Spike Suzuki - 465 TPE
George Fisher - 995 TPE
Dex Kennedy - 1309 TPE
Michael Witheblock - 1490 TPE
Deshun Jones - 1096 TPE
Cornerback:
Brandon Booker - 1488 TPE
Chester Sweets - 321 TPE
Andrew Witten - 1449 TPE
Tyler Oles Jr. - 1031 TPE
Cadillac Harris - 535 TPE
Ben Stackinpaper - 873 TPE
Zamir Kehla - 926 TPE
Jonathan Altidor - 239 TPE
Ozamataz Buckshank - 116 TPE
Tyron Shields - 1297 TPE
Jim Waters - 1197 TPE
Safety:
Johnny Hellzapoppin - 1180 TPE
Wesley Eriksen - 1052 TPE
Buck Thornton - 467 TPE
Quinn Hughes - 401 TPE
Shawn Dawkins - 1478 TPE
LiterallyJust A. Hexagon - 760 TPE
Brendan Lanier - 896 TPE
Hamish MacAndrew - 949 TPE
Magnus Valdyr - 1100 TPE
Abbas Muhammad - 242 TPE
Cuco Clemente - 1483 TPE
Eldrick Avery - 1170 TPE
Ragnar Rok - 380 TPE
Kicker/Punter:
Matthew McDairmid - 1347 TPE
Sam Sidekick - 1123 TPE
Jacob Small - 1057 TPE
Pseudo QB - 317 TPE
Now just to add one note, there was one player I’m not exactly sure what to do with, and that’s Wide Receiver Mike Lee. Lee is not in WolfieBot, but is listed in the TPE Tracker. This makes me think that they just, didn’t play with an ISFL team maybe? But they’ve done transactions with the Yellowknife Wraiths. Their Wiki paige anticipates a call-up to the Yellowknife Wraiths, but lists Arizona Outlaws on the page as well, alongside their DSFL team, the Birddogs. So, not too sure. As it stands, they only capped out around 500ish TPE, so I’m guessing they never got called up, and they probably wouldn’t be the pick anyhow, so I’m leaving them off the list. Sorry!
But, anyway, that cut our list down from 284 to just 98. Pretty impressive, that we’ve basically cut our work down to ⅓ of the original list. Just goes to show that despite how massive the draft was, only a fraction of the picks still panned out. Very similar to the S18 Covid draft in the PBE that brought me into sim leagues initially.
Now let’s get into the choosing of the team! We’ll start with the big one, the quarterback.
------------------------
Quarterback:
**Colby Jack - 1511 TPE - 37,557 Pass Yds, 7.673 Pass Average, 262 Pass TDs, 95.475 Rating, 62.717% (8 seasons)
Nick Kaepercolin - 1500 TPE - 25,918 Pass Yds, 7.264 Pass Average, 151 Pass TDs, 88.614 Rating, 62.640% (6 seasons)
Suleiman Ramza - 1415 TPE - 33,869 Pass Yds, 7.084 Pass Average, 208 Pass TDs, 86.592 Rating, 61.242% (8 seasons)
Ben Slothlisberger - 1378 TPE - 29,868 Pass Yds, 7.288 Pass Average, 186 Pass TDs, 90.041 Rating, 59.858% (7 Seasons)
Monterey Jack - 1294 TPE - 32,038 Pass Yds, 7.143 Pass Average, 177 Pass TDs, 86.084 Rating, 61.338% (8 seasons)
Luke Skywalker - 917 TPE - 23,319 Pass Yds, 6.701 Pass Average, 126 Pass TDs, 82.398 Rating, 60.316% (6 seasons)
Analysis: This is actually a fairly close battle. The first one to drop from consideration is the least surprising, being Luke Skywalker. The force was just not with him, being last in nearly every category. Even though he has less seasons under his belt, I’m not super confident in his ability to match the stats of some of these other arms. Maybe it’s the lower Pass TD rate than the others, as they’re netting about 20 per season, and adding 2 more seasons of that on to Skywalker’s total would still leave him well short of a few of these QB’s. After Skywalker’s dropped though, the rest of these are kind of close. Monterey Jack and Suleiman Ramza though are just outclassed in literally every category by Colby Jack, who has the same amount of seasons played as Monterey and Suleiman. So it comes down to Colby Jack, Nick Kaepercolin and Ben Slothlisburger. Ben and Nick have less seasons played than Colby over their careers, so we could go for the prediction of where they would be if they played an 8th season (or a 7th AND 8th season for Kaepercolin), but I think I’ll go with the known entity, part of the benefit of hindsight.
Verdict: COLBY JACK
------------------------
Runningback:
**Jamar Lackson - 1495 TPE - 11,716 Rush Yds, 4.465 Rush Avg, 96 Rush TDs, 479 Receptions, 4,696 Receiving Yds, 9.804 Receiving Avg, 37 Receiving TDs (11 seasons)
**Tatsu Nakamura - 1458 TPE - 14,061 Rush Yds, 4.500 Rush Avg, 156 Rush TDs, 487 Receptions, 4,686 Rec Yds, 9.622 Rec Avg, 19 Rec TDs (13 seasons)
Matt Cross - 1347 TPE - 741 Rush Yds, 4.385 Rush Avg, 4 Rush TD, 73 Receptions, 681 Rec Yds, 9.329 Rec Avg, 7 Rec TD (2 seasons)
Richard Gilbert - 1304 TPE - 6,675 Rush Yds, 4.301 Rush Avg, 72 Rush TD, 365 Receptions, 2,582 Rec Yds, 7.074 Red Avg, 21 Rec TD (8 seasons)
Acura Skyline - 949 TPE - 7,237 Rush Yds, 4.336 Rush Avg, 61 Rush TD, 328 Receptions, 3,324 Rec Yds, 10.134 Rec Avg, 20 Rec TD (9 seasons)
Jeffrey Phillips - 820 TPE - 1,542 Rush Yds, 4.566 Rush Avg, 12 Rush TD, 224 Receptions, 2,348 Rec Yds, 10.482 Rec Avg, 10 Rec TD (3 seasons)
Julio Tirtawidjaja - 706 TPE - 4,877 Rush Yds, 3.965 Rush Avg, 32 Rush TD, 197 Receptions, 1,543 Rec Yds, 7.832 Rec Avg, 7 Rec TD (6 seasons)
Kichwa Jones - 545 TPE - 3,759 Rush Yds, 3.887 Rush Avg, 23 Rush TD, 122 Receptions, 811 Rec Yds, 6.648 Rec Avg, 4 Rec TD (8 seasons)
Tristian Hex - 507 TPE - 99 Rush Yds, 3.300 Rush Avg, 2 Rush TD, 45 Receptions, 334 Rec Yds, 7.422 Rec Avg, 0 Rec TD (5 seasons)
Thubba Bumper - 460 TPE - 735 Rush Yds, 4.129 Rush Avg, 5 Rush TD, 19 Receptions, 202 Rec Yds, 10.632 Rec Avg, 0 Rec TD (1 season)
Zed Keppler - 416 TPE - 833 Rush Yeds, 3.702 Rush Avg, 6 Rush TD, 40 Receptions, 235 Rec Yds, 5.875 Rec Avg, 3 Rec TD (3 seasons)
Analysis: Matt Cross has the unfortunate situation of having only been a running back for two seasons. He played on the defense squad for Philadelphia for the other seasons on his career. Being the third-highest TPE in this grouping, he definitely would have had a much better chance at this one than he does. Thubba Bumper almost has the same amount of Rushing Yards in one season that Matt Cross had in 2. So Cross is out. If you look at the pace of a bit over 1000 Rush Yds per season that players like Lackson and Nakamura are setting, you’ll notice that several other players in this grouping are not living up to that standard. Gilbert, Skyline, Phillips, Tirtawidjaja, Jones, Hex, Bumper, and Keppler all fall short of that mark. (and Cross, but we already talked about him.) So of the two remaining, Lackson and Nakamura, who are we liking better? It’s close. If you’re looking for a receiving back with good hands, especially in the endzone, Lackson may be your guy, with 37 Receiving TDs, and a bit better of an average on receiving yards, as well as a few more yards, with two less seasons under their belt. If you’re looking for someone who can brute force their way into the endzone, Nakamura just has, oh, about 40 more Rushing TDs in only two more seasons than Lackson. I can see an argument for either of them. They definitely excel in different scenarios and there isn’t a wrong answer here. That said, I do have to make a decision for my list, and in the end, for the style of runningback that I personally prefer, I gotta go with the guy that keeps it a bit more on the ground.
Verdict: TATSU NAKAMURA
It feels wrong picking between those two. Bring on the “Lackson was snubbed” comments. I can take it. I think. But honestly, this has been the toughest decision I’ve had to make in two of these articles now, and I think I went with the hot take since Lackson made the HOF a season before Nakamura did, I think on the first ballot?
------------------------
Wide Receiver:
**William Lim - 1428 TPE - 977 Receptions, 14,692 Rec Yds, 15.038 Rec Avg, 106 Rec TDs (11 seasons)
Garfield Despacito Jr. - 1088 TPE - 586 Receptions, 8,297 Rec Yds, 14.159 Rec Avg, 57 Rec TDs (8 seasons)
Sean Snyder - 993 TPE - 523 Receptions, 6,801 Rec Yds, 13.004 Rec Avg, 40 Rec TDs (9 seasons)
Eddie Jeeta - 906 TPE - 521 Receptions, 6,805 Rec Yds, 13.061 Rec Avg, 46 Rec TDs (9 seasons)
Susan Cash Jr. - 687 TPE - 340 Receptions, 5,020 Rec Yds, 14.765 Rec Avg, 33 Rec TDs (5 seasons)
William Alexander - 594 TPE - 262 Receptions, 2,992 Rec Yds, 11.420 Rec Avg, 21 Rec TDs (7 seasons)
Blake Alexander - 198 TPE - 24 Receptions, 246 Rec Yds, 10.250 Rec Avg, 1 Rec TD (1 season)
Analysis: While just looking at the numbers, you would think this would be a slam dunk for William Lim (and it kind of is….) I do have to do my due diligence here and take into account that Lim played for three more seasons than Despacito Jr. who is his main competition here, and at least two more seasons than the rest of the class here as well. But when there’s a 6000 yard difference over 3 seasons, it’s kind of hard to choose anyone else here.
Verdict: WILLIAM LIM
------------------------
Tight End:
**James Angler - 1429 TPE - 722 Receptions, 9,111 Receiving Yds, 12.619 Rec Avg, 55 Rec TD, 234 Other Pancakes (9 seasons)
Heath Evans - 1255 TPE - 665 Receptions, 6,844 Receiving Yds, 10.292 Rec Avg, 38 Rec TD, 283 Other Pancakes (8 seasons)
Zee Rechs - 1194 TPE - 619 Receptions, 5,389 Receiving Yds, 8.706 Rec Avg, 46 Rec TD, 361 Other Pancakes (8 seasons)
Friedrich Vequain - 837 TPE - 377 Receptions, 3,200 Receiving Yds, 8.488 Rec Avg, 13 Rec TD, 218 Other Pancakes (6 seasons)
Donatello Arrabiata - 369 TPE - 137 Receptions, 979 Receiving Yds, 7.146 Rec Avg, 3 Rec TD, 68 Other Pancakes (6 seasons)
Daniel George - 310 TPE - 219 Receptions, 1,693 Receiving Yds, 7.731 Rec Avg, 4 Rec TD, 140 Other Pancakes (5 seasons)
Analysis: I think this one is actually fairly easy looking at the stats. Yeah Angler has an extra season over Evans and Rechs, but the difference in Recaptions, Receiving Yards, and Receiving TD’s between Angler and either of these guys is NOT a one season difference. The big thing to mention though is the pancakes, as Angler was definitely used less as a blocking tight end than a receiving tight end, and therefore his pancake totals are only 3rd in this draft class behind Evans and Rechs, but in the end, the receptions that he was able to put on the board for his team made all the difference here.
Verdict: JAMES ANGLER
------------------------
Offensive Line:
**Bruce Buckley - 1374 TPE - 1,339 Other Pancakes, 18 Sacks allowed (13 seasons)
Matt Krause - 1279 TPE - 294 Other Pancakes, 3 Sacks allowed (3 seasons)
Clark Boyd - 1239 TPE - 456 Other Pancakes, 9 Sacks allowed (10 seasons)
Thomas Passmann - 1147 TPE - 137 Other Pancakes, 0 Sacks allowed (5 seasons)
Mo Magic - 1088 TPE - 717 Other Pancakes, 6 Sacks allowed (7 seasons)
Benson Bayley Jr. - 1056 TPE - 345 Other Pancakes, 8 Sacks allowed (5 seasons)
**Byron Dolls - 994 TPE - 825 Other Pancakes, 13 Sacks allowed (10 seasons)
Calvin Golladay - 971 TPE - 819 Other Pancakes, 21 Sacks Allowed (11 seasons)
Leeroy Jenkins - 936 TPE - 333 Other Pancakes, 6 Sacks allowed (5 seasons)
Taylor Cooper - 648 TPE - 208 Other Pancakes, 2 Sacks allowed (3 seasons)
Joey McCabe - 231 TPE - 168 Other Pancakes, 13 Sacks allowed (3 seasons)
Analysis: This one’s a mess, several players have spent full, or half seasons at other positions, and deciphering which ones were where it near impossible without research that is much more extensive than I’m willing to do for this media piece. I’m already researching enough, I’m not scavenger hunting. So we’re just looking at the seasons spent at the Offensive Line position, even if certain players spent more time at other positions instead. In the end, I think there’s kind of a clear answer. While Byron Dolls is a great pick, I think I have to go with Bruce Buckley here. Dolls averages about 82 pancakes a season, while Buckley is over 100. And while Buckley allows just a hair more sacks per season, I think the brute strength he demonstrates on the line overshadows Dolls’s stats. Honorable mention does go to Matt Krause, who was actually on pace a bit to match up with Buckley in terms of pancakes per season, as well as Calvin Golladay who was third in the class in pancakes, but also led the class in sacks allowed.
Verdict: BRUCE BUCKLEY
------------------------
Defensive End:
Troen Egghands - 1486 TPE - 507 Tck, 80 TFL, 74 Sack, 15 FF (11 seasons)
Mario Von Pebbles - 1330 TPE - 311 Tck, 77 TFL, 55 Sack, 12 FF (8 seasons)
Keʻokeʻo Kāne-Maikaʻi - 1329 TPE - 236 Tck, 24 TFL, 55 Sack, 10 FF (5 seasons)
Von Hayes - 1219 TPE - 255 Tck, 35 TFL, 41 Sack, 8 FF (8 seasons)
James Cho - 940 TPE - 374 Tck, 83 TFL, 63 Sack, 12 FF (9 seasons)
Sandro Ryeu - 827 TPE - 326 Tck, 67 TFL, 51 Sack, 7 FF (8 seasons)
Slinky Claxton - 796 TPE - 277 Tck, 39 TFL, 49 Sack, 5 FF (8 seasons)
Ismael Sanchez - 390 TPE - 124 Tck, 24 TFL, 5 Sack, 1 FF (6 seasons)
Simeon Works - 374 TPE - 101 Tck, 54 TFL, 7 Sack, 1 FF (3 seasons)
Analysis: Troen Egghands spent a bit longer at Defensive End than anyone else in this draft class, and the stats reflect that. They had plenty of time to rack up the Tackles, TFLs, Sacks, and Forced Fumbles. And Mario Von Pebbles actually came pretty close to reaching some of those stats. While Von Pebbles didn’t reach any of those numbers, their numbers per season are actually BETTER than Egghands everywhere except Tackles, where Egghands leads the class in tackles per season, with only James Cho coming close. So while Von Pebbles didn’t get too many tackles compared to the rest of the class, their average numbers seemed to be objectively better per season everywhere else, and it nets them the DE nod here.
Verdict: MARIO VON PEBBLES
------------------------
Defensive Tackle:
Magnus Rikiya - 1484 TPE - 537 Tck, 26 TFL, 48 Sack, 11 FF (11 seasons)
Patrik Money - 1463 TPE - 647 Tck, 26 TFL, 65 Sack, 6 FF (12 seasons)
Colt Mendoza - 1378 TPE - 940 Tck, 22 TFL, 23 Sack, 9 FF (12 seasons)
Fawn Dillmiballs - 1258 TPE - 781 Tck, 24 TFL, 42 Sack, 9 FF (11 seasons)
Daymond Brooks - 1068 TPE - 455 Tck, 35 TFL, 53 Sack, 9 FF (10 seasons)
Claude Miller II - 1019 TPE - 419 Tck, 27 TFL, 25 Sack, 4 FF (10 seasons)
BigEddi ForeverYeti - 975 TPE - 487 Tck, 38 TFL, 70 Sack, 10 FF (9 seasons)
Hank Steel - 962 TPE - 347 Tck, 40 TFL, 40 Sack, 3 FF (9 seasons)
Nuniq Annastesia - 547 TPE - 300 Tck, 10 TFL, 20 Sack, 3 FF (8 seasons)
Tristan Gronlie - 175 TPE - 136 Tck, 662 TFL, 12 Sack, 3 FF (4 seasons)
Analysis: Maybe it’s the position, maybe it’s the fact that a good chunk of these DT’s earned very well, but there seems to be a lot of longevity here among the Defensive Tackle class. Even a 175 TPE Gronlie managed to stick around for 4 seasons, and Nuniq Annastesia put up 8 seasons without passing 550 TPE. This does make things a bit easier to compare than trying to double up statlines from a 4 season player to see how comparable they are to an 8 season player. And when comparing these DT’s, it actually becomes fairly difficult to make a pick here. Mendoza leads the class in tackles, Hank Steel leads in TFL’s, Patrik Money has the Sack crown, and Magnus Rikiya forced the most fumbles. Soooo who’s the pick then? I tried matching them up each 1 on 1 against each other comparing stats, and what I got was that Money beat Steel and Rikiya, but tied with Mendoza, Mendoza tied with literally all 3, Rikiya beat Steel, lost to Money and tied with Mendoza, and Steel tied with Mendoza and lost to the other two. Because of all of that, I think….I go with Patrik Money here? But I’m not confident about this one lol. I think this one had a few players play in different defensive positions and that’s why their stats are so wonky, but my decision is made, for better or worse.
Verdict: PATRIK MONEY
------------------------
Linebacker:
Michael Witheblock - 1490 TPE - 263 Tck, 11 TFL, 32 Sack, 27 PD, 3 FF (3 seasons)
Lawrence Bass - 1403 TPE - 909 Tck, 94 TFL, 56 Sack, 79 PD, 7 INT, 17 FF (11 seasons)
Dex Kennedy - 1309 TPE - 832 Tck, 25 TFL, 47 Sack, 52 PD, 7 INT, 14 FF (7 seasons)
**Derred de Ville - 1295 TPE - 1144 Tck, 31 TFL, 104 Sack, 155 PD, 13 INT, 23 FF (11 seasons)
Jack Banks - 1290 TPE - 973 Tck, 32 TFL, 100 Sack, 98 PD, 9 INT, 16 FF (9 seasons)
Haha Mango-Panda - 1189 TPE - 792 Tck, 19 TFL, 42 Sack, 100 PD, 11 INT, 15 FF (7 seasons)
Deshun Jones - 1096 TPE - 825 Tck, 18 TFL, 63 Sack, 77 PD, 1 INT, 15 FF (9 seasons)
Stanislaw Koniecpolski - 1042 TPE - 959 Tck, 17 TFL, 25 Sack, 69 PD, 12 INT, 9 FF (10 seasons)
George Fisher - 995 TPE - 772 Tck, 26 TFL, 43 Sack, 43 PD, 2 INT, 7 FF (10 seasons)
Spike Suzuki - 465 TPE - 519 Tck, 45 TFL, 43 Sack, 42 PD, 3 INT, 4 FF (8 seasons)
Analysis: This one threw me off the rails, SO much, and I think, based on the stats, that some of these players played in different defensive positions than Linebacker? If we ignore Withtheblock, who spent most of his time as a Wide Receiver (and therefore should probably be in that category, but I wouldn’t have picked him), the highest TPE players are Bass, Kennedy and deVille. And while de Ville just straight outclasses Bass in almost every category over the same amount of seasons, there’s one where Bass dominates in, TFL’s. Which, linebackers do get every now and then, but it’s not a prime stat for them necessarily. 31 is good for de Ville. And yet, Bass has over 90. Which makes me think maybe he spent some time as a DE, (which really makes sense when he had 18 TFLs in his first two seasons, 15 in his second, 12 in his third, and only cracked 10 once in his remaining 7 seasons) so I’m not exactly sure how to qualify a winner here since a few of these guys weren’t fulltime linebackers. In the end, there’s one that I know was a linebacker for a long enough time to be nominated as a linebacker to the Hall of Fame, and get in. And it’s good, because they’re also the one that leads the class in almost every category (except TFL’s because of Bass doing Bass things)
Verdict: DERRED DE VILLE
------------------------
Cornerback:
**Brandon Booker - 1488 TPE - 964 Tck, 204 PD, 37 INT, 11 FF (13 seasons)
**Andrew Witten - 1449 TPE - 964 Tck, 209 PD, 36 INT, 11 FF (11 seasons)
Tyron Shields - 1297 TPE - 748 Tck, 110 PD, 13 INT, 7 FF (7 seasons)
Jim Waters - 1197 TPE - 647 Tck, 174 PD, 19 INT, 8 FF (8 seasons)
Tyler Oles Jr. - 1031 TPE - 338 Tck, 106 PD, 12 INT, 5 FF (6 seasons)
Zamir Kehla - 926 TPE - 284 Tck, 63 PD, 13 INT, 2 FF (5 seasons)
Ben Stackinpaper - 873 TPE - 629 Tck, 122 PD, 14 INT, 11 FF (8 seasons)
Cadillac Harris - 535 TPE - 350 Tck, 76 PD, 5 INT, 3 FF (6 seasons)
Chester Sweets - 321 TPE - 141 Tck, 16 PD, 1 INT, 2 FF (3 seasons)
Jonathan Altidor - 239 TPE - 84 Tck, 27 PD, 2 INT, 2 FF (4 seasons)
Ozamataz Buckshank - 116 TPE - ????
Analysis: I have no idea what to do about Ozamataz Buckshank, who’s listed as a cornerback but has no defensive stats, and from the stats they do have, it looks like they may have been a running back? But they have 9 seasons under their belt of fairly decent offensive stats, which seems weird for only amounting to 116 TPE. I don’t think they would have been my pick for running back anyhow, and I only discovered this AFTER I wrote the running back section anyhow, so unfortunately, they’ll just be left here. As for the rest of the Cornerback class, you may think right off the bat, that this is a two horse race between the two Hall of Famers on the list, Brandon Booker and Andrew Witten. And while you’d be right to think that, the decision here for me is a lot easier than say, the Running Back decision. You see, while Booker and Witten both have EXTREMELY comparable stats, having the same amount of Tackles and Forced Fumbles, and only differing in PD’s by 5, and INT’s by 1, there’s one that is the clear choice to me. Because while Brandon Booker put up all these incredible numbers in 13 seasons in the ISFL….Andrew Witten got to these numbers in two less seasons. While Booker absolutely deserves the Hall of Fame nod (as does Witten), the fact that Witten could be that close to Booker’s statline with two less seasons under his belt is amazing to me.
Verdict: ANDREW WITTEN
------------------------
Safety:
**Cuco Clemente - 1483 TPE - 617 Tck, 43 Sack, 99 PD, 29 INT, 9 FF (10 seasons)
Shawn Dawkins - 1478 TPE - 682 Tck, 30 Sack, 103 PD, 32 INT, 10 FF (10 seasons)
Johnny Hellzapoppin - 1180 TPE - 687 Tck, 35 Sack, 83 PD, 17 INT, 4 FF (10 seasons)
Eldrick Avery - 1170 TPE - 557 Tck, 6 Sack, 150 PD, 18 INT, 6 FF (9 seasons)
Magnus Valdyr - 1100 TPE - 761 Tck, 28 Sack, 82 PD, 10 INT, 7 FF (10 seasons)
Wesley Eriksen - 1052 TPE - 661 Tck, 34 Sack, 96 PD, 20 INT, 7 FF (10 seasons)
Hamish MacAndrew - 949 TPE - 595 Tck, 45 Sack, 53 PD, 25 INT, 14 FF (10 seasons)
Brendan Lanier - 896 TPE - 570 Tck, 48 Sack, 67 PD, 12 INT, 12 FF (9 seasons)
LiterallyJust A. Hexagon - 760 TPE - 491 Tck, 1 Sack, 30 PD, 5 INT, 6 FF (4 seasons)
Buck Thornton - 467 TPE - 256 Tck, 23 Sack, 10 PD, 4 INT, 2 FF (5 seasons)
Quinn Hughes - 401 TPE - 141 Tck, 9 Sack, 7 PD, 6 INT, 2 FF (2 seasons)
Ragnar Rok - 380 TPE - 395 Tck, 11 Sack, 28 PD, 15 INT, 6 FF (7 seasons)
Abbas Muhammad - 242 TPE - 9 Tck, 0 Sack, 7 PD, 1 INT, 0 FF (1 season)
Analysis: I am well and thoroughly confused on this one. Shawn Dawkins has less sacks than Hall of Famer Cuco Clemente, but better stats everywhere else in the same amount of seasons. More Tackles, more PD’s, more INTs, more FF’s. And yet, Dawkins hasn’t made HOF, but Cuco has. Should I start a #Dawkins4Hall campaign? I asked in my DSFL locker room, and the response I got back was that perhaps it was due to the user behind the player, the pro bowls or rings that they had, or the values held at the time by the voting committee. Shoutout by the way to @[WALDO] and @[ZootTX] for the assist on this one, always happy to receive some help with the research. Apparently Cuco has one more ring, two SotY (compared to none from Dawkins) awards, 5 All-Pro nods (again, none from Dawkins), and 2 more Pro Bowl appearances. And in a category I didn’t include on this list, TFLs (which I found weird for safeties to be judged on), Cuco does beat out Dawkins. But in the end, rings, pro bowls, values of a specific voting committee, they all don’t matter to me, we’re looking at stats ALONE here. And Dawkins actually beats out Cuco Clemente in almost every relevant category, though it is EXCEPTIONALLY close here. Hellzapoppin and Eriksen got close in this one too, but I think the win still goes to Dawkins for my list, just based on the stats, though Cuco is not a wrong answer here by any means, and being the only one in the Hall of Fame from this position and draft class, I think I PROBABLY should be giving this nod to Cuco, but for the life of me, I just really want to pick Dawkins here since it feels like he may be underappreciated, and both of these safeties played PHENOMENALLY. Maybe it is time to get the #Dawkins4Hall trending.
Verdict: SHAWN DAWKINS
------------------------
Kicker/Punter:
Matthew McDairmid - 1347 TPE - 97.051% XPPCT, 89.206% FGPCT, 48.375 P Avg (10 seasons)
Sam Sidekick - 1123 TPE - 97.175% XPPCT, 86.455% FGPCT, 46.774 P Avg (11 seasons)
Jacob Small - 1057 TPE - 97.368% XPPCT, 89.757% FGPCT, 45.933 P Avg (11 seasons)
Pseudo QB - 317 TPE - 97.674% XPPCT, 87.313% FGPCT, 44.278 P Avg (5 seasons)
Analysis: This one is weird. In terms of Extra Points, all 4 of these kickers have a very similar percentage, all within 1% of each other. But in terms of FGPCT, Jacob Small and Matthew McDairmid definitely hold the crown, both above 89% of kicks. And yes, unlike my last article of this kind, I did look at the actual breakdown of the distances for the FG kicks, I just didn’t want to clog this article with too much raw data points. Instead, let’s clog the article by TALKING about the raw data points. All 4 of these kickers didn’t miss a single kick from under 20 yards. Totally understandable, makes sense. Small and McDairmid also didn’t miss a kick from the 20-29 range, while both QB and Sidekick did at least once. McDairmid has the best 30-39 FGPCT at 98.913, but Small beats him out in the 40-49 range, 83.761 to 81.72, as well as the 50 range, 67.647% to 65.217%. Oddly enough, of the 4, Sidekick has the best accuracy from the 50 yd line at 70.213%, and QB is 2nd in the 30-39 range after McDairmid, but other than those two pointst, both Sidekick and QB are actually outclassed in every other range by both McDairmid and Small. So it’s a two horse race again, and while Small does beat out McDairmid by about 2 percentage points in both the 40-49 and the 50 range, McDairmid is 6% more accurate from 30-39. That may not seem huge, but when you’re that close to the uprights, you want as much accuracy as you can possibly get. Plus McDairmid also has a longer Punt average.
Verdict: MATTHEW MCDAIRMID
Overall, here’s the team!
QB: Colby Jack
RB: Tatsu Nakamura
WR: William Lim
TE: James Angler
OL: Bruce Buckley
DE: Mario Von Pebbles
DT: Patrik Money
LB: Derred de Ville
CB: Andrew Witten
S: Shawn Dawkins
K/P: Matthew McDairmid
This was a tough one. Definitely a lot of tough calls, especially at RB, DT, LB, S, and K/P. I’m sure I’m gonna get some comments telling me that certain players were snubbed on this one. But with a class this big, even if only ⅓ of the draftees pan out, that’s still a significant number, and it leads to a lot of tough calls. I’m curious though, what does the ISFL Media Audience think? Please let me know which of my hot takes you disagree with! I’m very curious to find out what your team may look like. I’m enjoying this series, but it is a lot of research. Luckily this is the largest draft class in ISFL history, so it’s all downhill from here in terms of word count. Thanks for reading!