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Tier 1
The Season 46 Ultimus and Ultimini have officially come to an end. Congratulations to the the Dallas Birddogs and Arizona Outlaws for each winning their respective championships. How did each of the finalists in either the Ultimus or Ultimini arrive at the playoffs? Were there any teams that surprised or disappointed during the playoffs? Did the outcome of either championship game surprise you at all? The Birddogs started the season 2-0 before skidding to 2-4 and what was looking like a disappointing first season under @WALDO and @Crazytomato. However, a huge turning point came in week 7 and 8 against the London Royals in back to back fixtures in which the Birddogs managed to turn a corner and get their offense humming which was followed by a decisive win over the Luchadores. This left the Birddogs competing with the Buccaneers for the remaining playoff spot and the decider looked to be against the Buccaneers in Week 12. In that matchup, in a tied game with 12 second on the clock on 1st and 10 on the Birddogs’ 27 yard line, Chappy Mcchapperson threw an inexplicable pick 6 to lose the game and severely dent the Birddogs’ playoff hopes. The Buccaneers then held the advantage. However, with two closing matchups against both conference leaders, the Buccaneers lost the next week to the Grey Ducks whilst the Birddogs squeaked past the Pythons. This meant (against the Luchadores) the Buccaneers needed to better the Birddogs’ result (against the Seawolves). Ultimately, the Buccaneers failed, losing to the Luchadores 31-45 which meant the Birddogs qualified for the playoffs before the game vs the Seawolves was played. The Birddogs had a middling 7-7 record on the season which belied their talent as the highest scoring offense in the league. They had beaten the much-fancied Tijuana Luchadores (10-4) in the regular season and then did the same in the SFC Championship leaving them with a matchup vs the London Royals for the Ultimini. Both teams had finished second in their conference and defeated (10-4) teams in the playoffs to make the Ultimini. Both were underdogs but only one team had that dog in them. The Birddogs had beaten the London Royals handily during the regular season (47-30 and 42-10) in games which turned their whole season around. A similar outcome was destined for the finale of the season as the Birddogs strolled in at 41-31 winners with remarkable numbers being posted by Lane Frost III and McChapperson with the defense making sacks when it mattered. Though the Birddogs’ record was tepid at best (7-7) they had huge talent on the roster: -
The Birddogs have maintained their perfect record in the Ultimini (4-0) and have clawed their playoff record to .500 with 8 wins and 8 losses. They have also made the playoffs in 4 consecutive seasons. They have a formidable record in the last 5 seasons in the DSFL with 44 wins, 25 losses and 1 tie. Whilst the outcome may seem like a surprise to some, it may have seemed an inevitability to others. Birddogs' running back, Reginald Hammerfall commented after lifting the Ultimini: “After grinding through the trenches and clawing our way to the top, we've proven that even in the face of adversity, we got that dog in us! Chappy McChapperson, you're the conductor of our offensive orchestra, the dude has finesse.. he's a maestro! And to my brothers in arms, Seventh Rounder and Lane Frost III, you've left defenders in the dust like mere shadows in the night sky! Those rookie cornerbacks especially, they puppies.. you got a lotta learn about this league and who them alpha dogs really are! But let's not forget our defensive hounds, led by my boy Dewey Greenbeans and the mighty Huge Yakman, who've guarded our turf with the ferocity of hungry wolves! In the Ultimini, we didn't just win—we brought the power, doggin’ on them boys! Awooooooooooooo"
Reginald Hammerfall
Dominating the Gridiron with Power and Precision | Hammering the competition | Unleashing the storm on every play! #HammerTime #GridironGladiator Player Page | Player Wiki Quote:The league has a rich and fascinating history, and our perspectives on it differ from person to person. In 600 words or more, describe any significant moment in ISFL or DSFL history, whether you were around for it or not. Describe the context, the significant members, and the events. What exactly made this event so famous (or infamous) and why does it deserve to be remembered? Events might include championship wins, the inducting of players to the hall of fame, or even a league scandal. Well, in a unique twist of fate, I'm able to write about historical moment, a league scandal if you will, in my time in the league that coincidentally I was and wasn't there for. For many it's something that would be an elephant in the room and something they'd shy away from referencing or discussing, but to me, we are only at our best when we learn from our past and grow, so it only seems fitting that I chose my suspension as the most impactful event in my short time in the ISFL. I hope to some day remedy that and have positive accomplishments that far supersede this scarlet letter I now wear. For starters, I will say that nobody was more disappointed or disheartened by the turn of events than myself. My time in the ISFL started out with a bang and as I often do in many things in life, I dove in head first and seemingly this was well received and applauded by many. Our rookie class was one of the spiciest, largest and most active and I quickly formed some rivalries and friendships. Unfortunately, my interpretation of said relationships was wrong and as I found out, I misread the room. I made a joke that resulted in a 2 week ban and 4 week probation period. My choice of joke was ill conceived and carried unfortunate undertones that I didn't give proper consideration to before posting. Unfortunate to say the least, and not ill-intended or malicious in any way. However, you can't unring a bell that was rung, and I take full responsibility, and once again, publicly apologize, saying sorry to those that it offended and upset. I genuinely did not mean it in the derogatory way it came across. For my forced vacation, I spent my first few days, depressed and very upset by the outcome of a situation that I didn't intend to result in the way it did, but even more upsetting than inheriting labels I personally find reprehensible, was the loss of friendships and comradery that made the league enjoyable. The playful banter I had with others made a long work day go by quicker, and offered a small outlet from that grind. At the end of the day, we are hear to have fun and enjoy dot football as an outlet from the real world, rather than an extension of the things we despise about it. In my moment, I didn't do that and it cost me. However, while my initial reaction was to quit the league and move on, thanks to some lengthy conversations with fellow teammates and coaches, I realized I owed it to my team to at the very least follow through on what I signed up and they spent precious draft capital on taking me at 2nd overall. I won't be able to enjoy the taste of getting drafted that high in the ISFL and that's ok, yet another unforeseen consequence, but I will continue to improve my virtual player and my real self in parallel for however long my time in the league may be. I truly enjoy my time here, the banter with others, and nerding out over the statistical details along with the rest of you. Something fulfilling about watching a sim favor your selection of TPE application and the results it yields on the field, or the lack thereof which causes you to question everything. I post this not to excuse what I did, deflect responsibility or diminish the seriousness of hateful speech in a public context. Rather, I want to use it as an example and reminder to others to be more thoughtful in their discourse with fellow league members and realize that one mistake doesn't need to define an individual, not IRL, and not in the league. Your ability to learn from your mistake, return and better yourself is far more important than whatever mistake you make. There are consequences for our actions and I accepted and faced mine, and will continue to do so as I attempt to win back the respect and friendship of my fellow rookies and league members, but there are also opportunities and I wanted to seize mine to shed light and hopefully help someone else do a second take, before they post something ill-conceived, or if they face punishment, to find some minor solace in these words and realize there is an opportunity to improve upon yourself, not just your player. Sorry again ISFL but here's to the hope of a better tomorrow and a brighter future!
Task 2
Hello there and welcome to my incomprehensible review of my draft class. I, Stone Wall, am part of the season 48 draft class. What does that mean? That is a good question because I am not quite sure. I know from some of the other simulation leagues that I play in that your draft class is part of your identity. It is how you know when you were drafted into a major organization. That is not to say that the minor league or development league in this case is an less than the professional league, but it reality it is. They get a different trophy. The outcomes are way more varied due to the churn in the league. But hey, where is it any different? OK, let’s dig into the draft class. I am going to take the viewpoint of a complete new comer to this league because that is what I am and I do not have any real knowledge of who is good and who is bad. It looks like we have quite a few skill position players that are going to be good at what they do on the football field. Hirsch and Qiller will be quarterbacks. They will hand the ball off and throw the ball sometimes. It will really depend on what the play is to dictate which they will do. Chanos, McQueen, Dream, Blundetto, Zipstep, Guile, Clafin Jr. and Mobbs are the running backs of this draft class. My favorite is Guile, but that is solely based on the fact that I have run into Punk in Pro Baseball Experience. He will surely be able to run the ball when it is handed off to him and will hopefully be able to block when called upon or catch a ball on a check down route. There are 8 running backs and 8 wide outs. The wide outs are Prince Jr, Peace, Crawford, DeWitt, Scofield, Ial Ray and Walker. I am very partial to clever names so my favorite of this bunch is Seer Ial. I too love cereal. Yum. I hope he catches all the balls thrown his way except when he is playing against my team. Three Tight Ends round out the skilled offense side of the ball positions. Wagner, Nixon and Beauregard are tight ends. They will block and catch and catch and block. I’ll give the nod to Beauregard because he has the most TPE now. Offensive line is the last offensive position of the group. I am in this group. Stone Wall will be the best amongst Tractor, Bhemius, Farkas and Wall. Mark your calendars when Stone Wall is in town because he’ll be serving up pancakes. There are no defensive ends in this draft. Maybe I will change my mind and play Defensive End. Not sure why there aren’t any. Defense is kind of boring and that might piss some people off by me saying it, but I’m only here for the glory of being able to smash people into the ground. And I have written a lot about offense which leaves me less time to talk about the defensive side of this draft class. We have 3 defensive tackles, nine linebackers, five corner backs, and six safetys. Those are a lot of players and it looks like they do not quite out number the offensive players. So again, offense wins games and wins championships so I have given them the appropriate amount of attention in this write up. Finally, the best player in the entire draft class will be the kicker because they will be the top scorer of the class no matter what anyone else does. That player is Cameron Oswald-Newton. Born to Olivia Newton and Patton Oswald. Very limber, funny, and funny looking with some charm to him. He will be the best of the best. 640 words
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Ultimus: S46, S47
ISFL Most Dedicated Member: S46
Gemini Awards: S42 Best Article (Series), S44 Best Article (Limited), S46 Best Author, S47 Best Author, S48 Best Article (Limited)
DSFL Most Dedicated Member: S42
Getting Defensive Podcast: S42 New Player Silver Medalist
ISFL All-Rookie Team: WR1 (S45)
DSFL Offensive Player of the Year: S43
DSFL First-team All-Pro: S43, S44
DSFL Pro Bowl: S42, S43, S44
S43 R1.01 - Arizona Outlaws
S42 R1.04 - Minnesota Grey Ducks
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Try out the Player Updater tool!
lemonoppy.com/isfl/player-updater
03-11-2024, 01:56 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-11-2024, 01:58 PM by Jackienape. Edited 1 time in total.)
T1 Question 5: "Sim Gonna Sim".
Without nearly a moment's consideration I would give the winner of the “sim gonna sim” awards to the Wraiths this season. There is no question that, especially given that it shocked even Tuba himself to realize that they were going to the Ultimus, most anyone answering this would likely say the Wraiths here, simply because there is no way that it could’ve been predicted that they would have made it to where they did. To beat out both Sarasota and Baltimore to the Ultimus, especially given the TPE of the players in Yellowknife compared to the rest of the league, it is pretty apparent that either @TubaDeus pulled something absolutely miraculous out of his ass with the magic of sim knowledge and pretzels dipped in nutella, or Sim is Gonna Sim, and we just saw it almost hand Arizona the biggest L anyone has ever seen. I was able to experience firsthand the abject confusion prominent in Tuba’s voice as he would speak about this. As he would crunch the numbers and see how abysmally impossible it would be to actually make it to the Ultimus from the position they were in, beating out two separate incredibly good teams from the NSFC in the playoffs, it was just impressive that they were facing down Arizona in the Ultimus anyway. Nevertheless, there were also some important individual moments that I noticed from game-to-game, and I have to say, there is nothing more absolutely bullshit than seeing the sim just decide that it’s time for rules to not make sense and just decide to kick a field goal at 3rd and inches instead of trying for the touchdown. I have, however, also seen other completely bullshit moves where it has allowed a good receiver to nail a pass for a 70-yard run, and those are fun, so I admit I cannot be too upset. As a Software Engineer, it is typically my job to write code and make it work and function well. I have spent a small, tiny amount of time decompiling and rooting around in the code of this blasted piece of software known as The Sim, and the things I have seen inside I would wish for no man or woman to ever see. Like a crypt of horrors within the darkest recesses of the Earth, it boasts a litany of problems that I really can’t begin describing to you in 600 words. To put it lightly, every tech company that starts a project typically sets out a plan, lays out a framework, a structure of where they think the objects within that software might go. It is typically one of the most important initial steps as it outlines the way that your piece of software will be able to be packaged and shipped to a user. They did not do this. To go even further (and not to raise alarm bells about the state of the sim, I am certain the sim team is on top of it if it is an issue): The number boxes of things like pass/rush ratio concerned me in the way it was set up, and I am sorry to report that it is indeed as abysmal in the code as it is in the UI. I think, though, that there is a perfect beauty in it. Perhaps the sim is truly a beast of unknowable power, created by an ungodly maker known as Wolverine Studios. Perhaps it truly is a creature, so feared is it for the things it holds inside, that no one truly possesses the mental acuity to be able to contain it all. I am just a lowly S47 rookie and GM, ill-equipped to know what the clerics in the sim department study, but perhaps one day that may all change. Until then, I will continue to learn what I can, and hope that eventually I may be gifted with that second sight. Raphael will see you now.
S47 Ultimini Champions
S49 Ultimini Champions
03-11-2024, 02:15 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-11-2024, 02:50 PM by KaleSalad. Edited 1 time in total.)
Tier 2:
16. +5TPE This last season for the Kansas City Coyotes featured a bunch of ups and downs. From exciting new prospects joining the club to some turmoil when a qb was called up to the big leagues at a halfway point through the season. Overall it was still a fun ride for this young team. They had a lot unknowns coming into the season and took some time to settle in when they lost the first 3 weeks of the season. This we tough ones as they navigated the use of the new players including managing touches for the running backs as well as a QB carousel after drafting their QB of the future. This all started to settle in though as they went on to win the next 4 games. After that it was pretty much .500 football as the team would never be truly able to get over the hump ending the season with a 7-7 record. The craziest part of the season though that ended up having some big ripples was when Honolulu decided to call up a QB mid season. This lead to some confusion when logistics as it so rarely happens this led to the illegal playing of the QB in a game that the Yotes ended up winning. This of course caused some backlash and really wrote the story of the season moving forward. With the young rookie stepping up and taking over the team it initially gave the team a much needed boost but was short lived as they would do ahead and struggle against London this season. This would end up being the difference maker as the loss to them in week 12 all but sealed their fate unless London would have lost the last 2 while KCC won them. But alas this was not the case and it was an okay season which showed both positives and negatives while looking to a brighter future. Tier 1: 19. +2.5 With new stadiums it means it is time for an upgrade! This stadium of course needs to spare no expense on the fitness and recovery rooms I am talking state of the art equipment including underwater treadmills! A cold bath and or hot tubs for players to relax in. The most important thing of all thought would be the food! This place should house or have the ability to get any food you want whenever you want it! If purdy is looking for pizza he should be able to get it! Of course the stadium needs to have the state of the art locker rooms and built in almost movie theatre like areas to ensure the team can review film and study, aka game on the latest versions of ISFL on the console of their choice. In the end the building will no doubt be amazing and give the players every bit of comfort they could ask for and provide all the essential services a pro athlete could need. 36. +2.5 SHL affiliate Purdy Mediocre RB
Leonardo McTurtle #69 LB Retired
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Leonardo Da Pinchi S48: Roster Page | Most Recent Update | Wiki Billy Jor-El S41: Roster Page | Wiki
03-11-2024, 06:46 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-11-2024, 06:47 PM by Z-Whiz. Edited 2 times in total.)
18. Puddles O’Duck had a truly incredible rookie season in the DSFL and he offers a lot to those future ISFL teams who are scouting him as a prospect. He lead the league in TDs (34), QB Rating (100), 2nd in yard (3926), and 2nd in completion percentage (63.6%). He is also a winner, which is the hardest attribute to achieve. Not much was expected of TIJ after losing their MVP QB and many doubted the teams ability to do it with a rookie QB. However, Puddles stepped up big time and lead the team to the leagues best record at 10-4. Things fell short in the playoffs after a tough loss to future Ultimini winners, the Dallas Birddogs. O’Duck was also a great teammate throughout the year really spreading the ball around to his teammate. His WRs Benn and Patter with the number 1 and 2 stats in pretty much every category that matters (reception, yards, TDs, etc). That doesn’t mean he ignored his other teammates though. Kronkowski lead all TE’s in receptions and RB Trevor ended with the most rushing yards in the league. So what are teams getting with Puddles? A system QB who’s system happens to be the best offense in the league. Who wouldn’t want that!?
23. The sim engine itself and its representation in 2D is fine in comparison to other leagues (looking at you SHL) and much better than the previous version of the NSFL back in S26 and later. There is the occasional glitch in the matrix where the players will run backwards or a QB won’t throw to a wide open WR, but that’s more of a graphics issue than a play issue. Behind the scenes, the engine just says the WR got a 10-yard gain or the QB got sacked. The dots are just doing their best to interpret the engine. So don’t see it as a WR gaining 20 yards and then running backwards for only a net gain of 10. And don’t see it as a QB ignoring a WR who is open by 35 yards. See both as graphical glitches where the 2D dots do not represent the actual outcome of the play in the sim engine. The engine comes first, and the dots are just doing their best. Outcome is known before the play, so the best way to judge a game is via the play-by-play verbiage, not the play-by-play representation. Editors note: I am completely making all this up and it’s how I cope with the sim. It could be right, but it could also be wrong. Don’t go around spreading this as gospel unless you wanna troll. 33. It pains me to say this, but I think NOLA needs a rebrand. I know they’re one of the oldest brandings out there, but I’m worried that the curse talks are starting to be real. Similar to how Philly had to rebrand to CTC, they need a hard reset. They need to pull the plug on the franchise that’s won just 35% of their games since the sim swap. They are associated with losing and I don’t think anyone can argue that they are the best in the league at it. They are beyond a meme at this point. Yes, they are poised to make a push at it next season with all of their players finally coming into their prime and honestly should be the favorites for the Ultimus. If they can’t win it next year (let alone at least make the playoffs), they genuinely need to considered rebranding. And not just a slightly lighter shade of purple. I’m talking full on nuclear. Leave the city, leave the colors, and leave the logo behind. Demolish the stadium. Give up. Abandon all hope. Quit. 36. SHL Affiliate Link |
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