05-10-2024, 08:10 AM
(This post was last modified: 05-10-2024, 10:09 AM by wetwilleh. Edited 1 time in total.)
Greetings everyone! It’s Grizzly Notabear again, and today I will be evaluating the odds of each ISFL team landing my amazing client Seer Ial in today’s draft. Some people may think that waiting until literally the last minute to write and publish this is lazy; to those I say they are foolish, as how else can you get the best information unless you allow all the information to come out? But enough about that, we got 14 teams to grade here, so let’s get started!
Arizona Outlaws
What better way to start than with the reigning champions? Arizona is a perfect fit for Seer Ial simply because he’s a winner, and no team is better at winning than the Outlaws. Who wouldn’t want to play for the team that has won 6 of the last 11 Ultimus Bowls?! That said, how big of a priority would drafting a receiver be for the Outlaws? Their 1-2 punch of Benji Aguilera and Jordan Bamford are rock solid, and even if Aguilera is starting to hit regression, they are going to be a top pair for at least a couple more seasons. That said, their 3rd receiver in Shane Turnbull is getting up their in age, and his contract expires at the end of season 49. With no prospects in the DSFL, there is a decent chance that Arizona will draft a receiver this season. That said, as champions their 1st round pick is literally the last pick of the round, and getting Seer Ial at 14 is very unlikely. They may also prioritize the offensive line in this draft, as it’s a position where everyone on the roster is in regression with no prospects sitting in the DSFL. Overall, while this would be a desirable location, the odds of it happening appear slim.
Fit: B
Odds: 100:1
Austin Copperheads
Many mock drafts pegged Seer Ial as going 3rd overall to Austin, and looking at the roster, it makes sense. Their number two receiver Zaphod Beeblebrox is riding off into the sunset, and their top receiver Delores Bickerman is in the twilight of their career as well. While they do have a couple of extra running backs that could fill in in a pinch, snagging a top tier wide receiver is a very big priority for the Copperheads. In fact, it would not be a shock if Austin invested multiple picks at the position, especially given their complete lack of depth there. With quarterback Jay Cue III really coming into his own, Austin might just be the perfect fit for Seer Ial.
Fit: A+
Odds: 5:1
Baltimore Hawks
Baltimore is a team that has been consistently good over the past few seasons, posting a winning record in 6 straight as well as winning an Ultimus not too long ago. The big problem with Baltimore though is that they lack a 1st round draft pick. It’s not a huge problem, as they can always trade their S49 1st and 2nd round picks to move back into this draft… is what I would say if they had those as well. I mean I guess they could package some S50 picks together, but at that point, it’s less likely any other team would take the bait. As for the team itself, the Hawks drafted their star receiver of the future last season in María Teresa de la Rosa, and they still have Emile Charles in their prime, so it isn’t the best fit for Seer Ial (although it’s not a bad pair to 3rd wheel behind). Unrelated to all this, seeing some of the contract terms for the players on this team is pretty hilarious, especially since they all seem to apply to other teams. You can bet Charles’ agent is sabotaging Berlin every chance they get!
Fit: C
Odds: 300:1
Berlin Fire Salamanders
Speaking of Berlin, they’re up next with an impressive 3 first round picks in this draft, owning the rights to both Cape Town and Yellowknife’s picks. Unfortunately, that’s about the last positive thing to projecting Seer Ial’s fit with the Fire Salamanders. While Really Creative-Name is getting up there in age, Pitter Patter just had a monster rookie season with over 1250 receiving yards and 11 touchdowns. On top of that, Berlin has two hotshot young receivers waiting in the wings of the DSFL in Jonathan Irons and Ial’s Bondi Beach teammate Meo Stickyhands-McGee. While Seer loves the guy, he’s definitely not eager to playing 4th string to a bunch of young receivers. In addition, Berlin seems more likely to prioritize linebacker or offensive line in this draft, making Seer not the best fit here.
Fit: F
Odds: 50:1
Chicago Butchers
Chicago came out strong in their interview process, asking the important question of how to properly prepare a potato. The Butchers were the top team in the NSFC this season, and you’d think starting receiver Speedy Gizmo retiring would make it a desirable landing spot. Well, they still have elite receiver Sem’ga Nah’sim around, as well as an aging Jay Money and a youthful Diego López de Castilla. Throw in the knowledge that they added Dee Fernandez in last year’s draft and you get a situation where Seer Ial may not be a top priority for the team.
Fit: C
Odds: 100:1
Colorado Yeti
Colorado is one of just three teams with multiple first round picks going into the draft, owning Baltimore’s pick as well as their own. They are however the only team that holds the distinction of selecting first overall. While many people have pegged Willeh Strong as the most likely candidate to go at the top of the draft, there was at least one bold mocker that was brave enough to suggest Seer Ial as the top pick, which instantly boosts the odds for the Yeti straight up. That said, linebacker is a huge need for Colorado with having just two on the roster, and they just drafted their star receiver of the future in Tim Riggins last season. Still, NCADV RAINN is starting to get up there in age, so that 2nd receiver spot is prime for the taking!
Fit: B
Odds: 15:1
Cape Town Crash
It was at this moment that I realized that the ISFL budget sheet has these teams listed alphabetically by their three letter abbreviation and not by city, ruining my desire to list these teams alphabetically. I could just edit this now and move Cape Town up above Chicago, but that sounds entirely like too much effort and will ruin the flow of this conversation we’re having. Speaking of conversations, I do apologize to Cryco who attempted to reach out for an interview while I was on vacation and never got the chance to connect after the fact. Anyway, as for the Crash themselves, they don’t have a first round pick, and they drafted Dru Freduci and Julian Rose the past two seasons. Kairo Knight also still has a couple of strong seasons left in him. The odds of Seer Ial landing here seem slim to none.
Fit: D-
Odds: 300:1
Honolulu Hahalua
From one conversation snafu to another, I only just realized that I completely ghosted Hudz on his last follow-up question from our interview. Clearly I’m doing everything right to boost my client’s draft stock! I also may or may not have told him a complete lie about someone else in the interview process, but that’s neither here nor there. He did come out strong with an ice cream based question, so props to him. Anyway, Honolulu is sitting pretty in this draft with 3 first round picks, including second overall. That being said, defense seems to be the biggest priority for the Hahalua in this draft, especially at linebacker. While it may seem strange to suggest they would want to draft a linebacker despite adding three of them last season, well two of those are projected more as depth pieces than superstars. As for wide receivers, Honolulu drafted their future star in Brad Woof last season, and with Malik Zbrooks, Forozka Duanei, and A Waffle all still around, along with a whole barn of running backs, adding a receiver with an early pick seems unlikely.
Fit: C
Odds: 50:1
New Orleans Second Line
New Orleans earned some bonus points in the interview process by asking a non-football and non-food related question that would not normally come up in a first interview situation. Unfortunately, that might be the only points that they will earn in this evaluation. The Second Line are a team that is just hitting their peak, and they look to be formidable over the next couple of seasons. The price of that formidability unfortunately comes at the cost of not having a first round pick. Even if they did have a first though, receiver is unlikely to be a top priority. Their 1-2 punch of Hank Mardukas and Thomas Passarelli may well be the best in the league, and neither are in regression yet. They also have André Benn waiting in the wings, though he’s looking more like a WR3 type at this point in his career. That said, this team is solid, and it’s a shame that there is little chance that Seer Ial could land here.
Fit: D
Odds: 300:1
New York Silverbacks
New York is a team that has enough holes that you aren’t completely sure which way they want to lean in the draft, but enough young talent that you have a bit of an idea. A quick look at the roster suggests that offense will be their priority in this coming draft, with many mocks suggesting they will go either running back or wide receiver. Zigzag Zipstep and Warren Peace have been the common links for the team, though one would think selecting Peace over Seer Ial is due to most mocks having Ial off the board before their 5th overall slot. While the Silverbacks do have Sean Robinson, who led the ISFL in receiving yards this season, they don’t have much past him, with Matthew Mara trying to fight out one or two more seasons. Thus, Seer Ial would be a great fit for them, providing them with someone who could step into a prominent role in a short time.
Fit: A
Odds: 25:1
Orange County Otters
The Otters don’t have a first or a second round pick. They’ve got a pair of elite receivers in Oliver Tolliver and Big McLarge Huge, and they’ve also got Chopper Donquixote waiting in the wings. In addition, unless I missed it (which is genuinely possible), they never reached out for an interview. We can put a pin in this one early.
Fit: F
Odds: 900:1
Sarasota Sailfish
Another victim (or rather beneficiary) to the mismatched alphabetical order, Sarasota might be the dark horse candidate to pick up Seer Ial in this draft. Receiver seems to be a bit of a soft spot on the roster with Johnny Blaze Jr. starting to get deep into regression and no one else besides Sam Mercury on the team. The Sailfish seem poised to take their future top receiver with the 6th overall pick, and while no one pegged Seer with the Silverbacks at 5, there were a couple of mocks that landed him in Sarasota at 6. Kinda makes you think (that the New York brain trust likes Zayn too much). Another bonus point for the Sailfish is that their quarterback of the future Bugs just so happens to be Ial’s quarterback of the present, making for yet another intriguing piece to this puzzle. Unrelated, anyone who thinks pterodactyls aren’t dinosaurs should stop reading this media piece now. We don’t want you here.
Fit: A
Odds: 20:1
San Jose Sabercats
Finally, we come to the San Jose Sabercats. The Sabercats don’t pick until 12th, which already gives other teams too much of an opportunity to beat them to the punch. They also don’t appear to have a big need at receiver, with Keanu Calhoun, Florida Man, and Orange Julius all still in their primes and KrustyKrab Pizza waiting to join their ranks. That said, they do seem to like to draft a receiver every even season, so they’re due. Add that they really don’t have any glaring weaknesses on the team and you get a team that is a complete wild card in the draft.
Fit: D-
Odds: 100:1
Yellowknife Wraiths
I may have said “finally” already, but that’s mainly because Yellowknife doesn’t count. They don’t have a first or second round pick, they added Silence Suzuka and Lane Wilson in the past two drafts, and they also didn’t reach out for an interview. Also, I have an irrational hatred for them because I attempted to game the stock market with them this season (since everyone else was already on the New Orleans express and taking the chalk pick is boring) only for them to be the most unpredictable jerks ever. Seriously, you can beat Baltimore twice, but then lose to Colorado at home? Why?
Fit: F
Odds: 901:1
Arizona Outlaws
What better way to start than with the reigning champions? Arizona is a perfect fit for Seer Ial simply because he’s a winner, and no team is better at winning than the Outlaws. Who wouldn’t want to play for the team that has won 6 of the last 11 Ultimus Bowls?! That said, how big of a priority would drafting a receiver be for the Outlaws? Their 1-2 punch of Benji Aguilera and Jordan Bamford are rock solid, and even if Aguilera is starting to hit regression, they are going to be a top pair for at least a couple more seasons. That said, their 3rd receiver in Shane Turnbull is getting up their in age, and his contract expires at the end of season 49. With no prospects in the DSFL, there is a decent chance that Arizona will draft a receiver this season. That said, as champions their 1st round pick is literally the last pick of the round, and getting Seer Ial at 14 is very unlikely. They may also prioritize the offensive line in this draft, as it’s a position where everyone on the roster is in regression with no prospects sitting in the DSFL. Overall, while this would be a desirable location, the odds of it happening appear slim.
Fit: B
Odds: 100:1
Austin Copperheads
Many mock drafts pegged Seer Ial as going 3rd overall to Austin, and looking at the roster, it makes sense. Their number two receiver Zaphod Beeblebrox is riding off into the sunset, and their top receiver Delores Bickerman is in the twilight of their career as well. While they do have a couple of extra running backs that could fill in in a pinch, snagging a top tier wide receiver is a very big priority for the Copperheads. In fact, it would not be a shock if Austin invested multiple picks at the position, especially given their complete lack of depth there. With quarterback Jay Cue III really coming into his own, Austin might just be the perfect fit for Seer Ial.
Fit: A+
Odds: 5:1
Baltimore Hawks
Baltimore is a team that has been consistently good over the past few seasons, posting a winning record in 6 straight as well as winning an Ultimus not too long ago. The big problem with Baltimore though is that they lack a 1st round draft pick. It’s not a huge problem, as they can always trade their S49 1st and 2nd round picks to move back into this draft… is what I would say if they had those as well. I mean I guess they could package some S50 picks together, but at that point, it’s less likely any other team would take the bait. As for the team itself, the Hawks drafted their star receiver of the future last season in María Teresa de la Rosa, and they still have Emile Charles in their prime, so it isn’t the best fit for Seer Ial (although it’s not a bad pair to 3rd wheel behind). Unrelated to all this, seeing some of the contract terms for the players on this team is pretty hilarious, especially since they all seem to apply to other teams. You can bet Charles’ agent is sabotaging Berlin every chance they get!
Fit: C
Odds: 300:1
Berlin Fire Salamanders
Speaking of Berlin, they’re up next with an impressive 3 first round picks in this draft, owning the rights to both Cape Town and Yellowknife’s picks. Unfortunately, that’s about the last positive thing to projecting Seer Ial’s fit with the Fire Salamanders. While Really Creative-Name is getting up there in age, Pitter Patter just had a monster rookie season with over 1250 receiving yards and 11 touchdowns. On top of that, Berlin has two hotshot young receivers waiting in the wings of the DSFL in Jonathan Irons and Ial’s Bondi Beach teammate Meo Stickyhands-McGee. While Seer loves the guy, he’s definitely not eager to playing 4th string to a bunch of young receivers. In addition, Berlin seems more likely to prioritize linebacker or offensive line in this draft, making Seer not the best fit here.
Fit: F
Odds: 50:1
Chicago Butchers
Chicago came out strong in their interview process, asking the important question of how to properly prepare a potato. The Butchers were the top team in the NSFC this season, and you’d think starting receiver Speedy Gizmo retiring would make it a desirable landing spot. Well, they still have elite receiver Sem’ga Nah’sim around, as well as an aging Jay Money and a youthful Diego López de Castilla. Throw in the knowledge that they added Dee Fernandez in last year’s draft and you get a situation where Seer Ial may not be a top priority for the team.
Fit: C
Odds: 100:1
Colorado Yeti
Colorado is one of just three teams with multiple first round picks going into the draft, owning Baltimore’s pick as well as their own. They are however the only team that holds the distinction of selecting first overall. While many people have pegged Willeh Strong as the most likely candidate to go at the top of the draft, there was at least one bold mocker that was brave enough to suggest Seer Ial as the top pick, which instantly boosts the odds for the Yeti straight up. That said, linebacker is a huge need for Colorado with having just two on the roster, and they just drafted their star receiver of the future in Tim Riggins last season. Still, NCADV RAINN is starting to get up there in age, so that 2nd receiver spot is prime for the taking!
Fit: B
Odds: 15:1
Cape Town Crash
It was at this moment that I realized that the ISFL budget sheet has these teams listed alphabetically by their three letter abbreviation and not by city, ruining my desire to list these teams alphabetically. I could just edit this now and move Cape Town up above Chicago, but that sounds entirely like too much effort and will ruin the flow of this conversation we’re having. Speaking of conversations, I do apologize to Cryco who attempted to reach out for an interview while I was on vacation and never got the chance to connect after the fact. Anyway, as for the Crash themselves, they don’t have a first round pick, and they drafted Dru Freduci and Julian Rose the past two seasons. Kairo Knight also still has a couple of strong seasons left in him. The odds of Seer Ial landing here seem slim to none.
Fit: D-
Odds: 300:1
Honolulu Hahalua
From one conversation snafu to another, I only just realized that I completely ghosted Hudz on his last follow-up question from our interview. Clearly I’m doing everything right to boost my client’s draft stock! I also may or may not have told him a complete lie about someone else in the interview process, but that’s neither here nor there. He did come out strong with an ice cream based question, so props to him. Anyway, Honolulu is sitting pretty in this draft with 3 first round picks, including second overall. That being said, defense seems to be the biggest priority for the Hahalua in this draft, especially at linebacker. While it may seem strange to suggest they would want to draft a linebacker despite adding three of them last season, well two of those are projected more as depth pieces than superstars. As for wide receivers, Honolulu drafted their future star in Brad Woof last season, and with Malik Zbrooks, Forozka Duanei, and A Waffle all still around, along with a whole barn of running backs, adding a receiver with an early pick seems unlikely.
Fit: C
Odds: 50:1
New Orleans Second Line
New Orleans earned some bonus points in the interview process by asking a non-football and non-food related question that would not normally come up in a first interview situation. Unfortunately, that might be the only points that they will earn in this evaluation. The Second Line are a team that is just hitting their peak, and they look to be formidable over the next couple of seasons. The price of that formidability unfortunately comes at the cost of not having a first round pick. Even if they did have a first though, receiver is unlikely to be a top priority. Their 1-2 punch of Hank Mardukas and Thomas Passarelli may well be the best in the league, and neither are in regression yet. They also have André Benn waiting in the wings, though he’s looking more like a WR3 type at this point in his career. That said, this team is solid, and it’s a shame that there is little chance that Seer Ial could land here.
Fit: D
Odds: 300:1
New York Silverbacks
New York is a team that has enough holes that you aren’t completely sure which way they want to lean in the draft, but enough young talent that you have a bit of an idea. A quick look at the roster suggests that offense will be their priority in this coming draft, with many mocks suggesting they will go either running back or wide receiver. Zigzag Zipstep and Warren Peace have been the common links for the team, though one would think selecting Peace over Seer Ial is due to most mocks having Ial off the board before their 5th overall slot. While the Silverbacks do have Sean Robinson, who led the ISFL in receiving yards this season, they don’t have much past him, with Matthew Mara trying to fight out one or two more seasons. Thus, Seer Ial would be a great fit for them, providing them with someone who could step into a prominent role in a short time.
Fit: A
Odds: 25:1
Orange County Otters
The Otters don’t have a first or a second round pick. They’ve got a pair of elite receivers in Oliver Tolliver and Big McLarge Huge, and they’ve also got Chopper Donquixote waiting in the wings. In addition, unless I missed it (which is genuinely possible), they never reached out for an interview. We can put a pin in this one early.
Fit: F
Odds: 900:1
Sarasota Sailfish
Another victim (or rather beneficiary) to the mismatched alphabetical order, Sarasota might be the dark horse candidate to pick up Seer Ial in this draft. Receiver seems to be a bit of a soft spot on the roster with Johnny Blaze Jr. starting to get deep into regression and no one else besides Sam Mercury on the team. The Sailfish seem poised to take their future top receiver with the 6th overall pick, and while no one pegged Seer with the Silverbacks at 5, there were a couple of mocks that landed him in Sarasota at 6. Kinda makes you think (that the New York brain trust likes Zayn too much). Another bonus point for the Sailfish is that their quarterback of the future Bugs just so happens to be Ial’s quarterback of the present, making for yet another intriguing piece to this puzzle. Unrelated, anyone who thinks pterodactyls aren’t dinosaurs should stop reading this media piece now. We don’t want you here.
Fit: A
Odds: 20:1
San Jose Sabercats
Finally, we come to the San Jose Sabercats. The Sabercats don’t pick until 12th, which already gives other teams too much of an opportunity to beat them to the punch. They also don’t appear to have a big need at receiver, with Keanu Calhoun, Florida Man, and Orange Julius all still in their primes and KrustyKrab Pizza waiting to join their ranks. That said, they do seem to like to draft a receiver every even season, so they’re due. Add that they really don’t have any glaring weaknesses on the team and you get a team that is a complete wild card in the draft.
Fit: D-
Odds: 100:1
Yellowknife Wraiths
I may have said “finally” already, but that’s mainly because Yellowknife doesn’t count. They don’t have a first or second round pick, they added Silence Suzuka and Lane Wilson in the past two drafts, and they also didn’t reach out for an interview. Also, I have an irrational hatred for them because I attempted to game the stock market with them this season (since everyone else was already on the New Orleans express and taking the chalk pick is boring) only for them to be the most unpredictable jerks ever. Seriously, you can beat Baltimore twice, but then lose to Colorado at home? Why?
Fit: F
Odds: 901:1