*The Pursuit of Invincibility

[ItsJustBarry]

I’m back with part 2 of this 300 part series, Get Rich or Carpel Tunnel Trying. While this series has no specific format or overall trajectory, I will continue publishing material until I am tired of doing it. Think of it like Forrest Gump just deciding to run. He just ran and ran back and forth across the country, inspiring people along the way, until he was tired and just stopped. This is pretty much exactly the same thing. *Your experience will vary. This may not (WON’T) inspire you.

Today, I am going to start by focusing on something I as a banker I see very often. While this could be a topic of debate that our financial or economical savvy players may weigh in on, real world financial rules do not apply in the NSFL. My point of interest is the weekly $500k trainings. Although the argument can be had that the $500k +3 TPE is the better value at only $166,666 per TPE while the +5 TPE is a massive $1 million TPE ($200,000 per TPE), once the week passes you can’t get that TPE back. You are throwing away 2 TPE every week. While this doesn’t seem like a lot, 2 TPE a week across a 7 week season is 14 TPE a season lost. Multiply that across multiple seasons and that becomes a lot of missed TPE. Couple that with the fact that it is extremely easy to earn $1 million on this site (Example: this shit you’re reading now), there is not a good reason not to be buying max training each week. Now, maybe you aren’t good at writing or don’t have time to spend spewing out 600 words of nonsense. Worry not, I have found a few tried and tested methods to acquire monies with minimal effort.

First, first a team mate that already has a surplus of money. Make some very lopsided bets with them and reap the rewards of their already completed hard work. While you can’t just hand a team mate money, on-site betting is allowed and pretty much any bet that doesn’t force a player to sign with a struggling team is a possibility. You can bet on NSFL things, NFL things, other sports things, if you want a sure fire bet, I would suggest taking the Over regardless of the line for how many times Adam cries RIGGED. Straight cash homie.

Now, maybe you are a DSFL player and don’t have team mates that can help you with the betting loop hole or you aren’t comfortable betting. Rest assured, I have another option that has a ridiculous success rate and actually requires less effort than betting. Simply demand to be drafted by the San Jose Sabercats. They have a shared bank account program that is primarily funded by everyone’s favorite mediocre wide receiver, Darren Smallwood. This guy makes it rain on his team mates like it’s an early 2000’s rap video. Rumor has it, there are an abundance of rakes and Hefty bags in their locker room to gather up any needed funds.

Maybe the idea of pulling the Elway/ Clegane/ Pest/ Chambers III/ Askins/ Milan card doesn’t sit right with you. Congratulations, you’re already a decent person in my book. Regardless of the team that drafts you, I have another easy, although not as simple, way to get paid. Simply jump into the revolving door of DSFL GMs, recreate your player, draft yourself, sign yourself for 50% or more of your team’s available cap, maybe set a depth chart (or not) and coast your way back into the NSFL. Now this method does have a 4.5 step process but the earnings are guaranteed and can potentially dwarf your gains from my other suggestions.

See how easy that was? 600 words in no time. I’m rushing straight to the bank to get my full +5 TPE and you should too.

TL;DR: you should only buy +5 TPE weekly training because it’s easy to do.

665 words


GRADED

[Raven]

[timeconsumer]

easiest way to make money is to be the guy who built the bank spreadsheets and have hidden formulas that constantly modify your balance.

[ItsJustBarry]

easiest way to make money is to be the guy who built the bank spreadsheets and have hidden formulas that constantly modify your balance.

Aw, yes. The Office Space / Superman 3 approach. I covered that in my last article.

[timeconsumer]

Aw, yes.  The Office Space / Superman 3 approach.  I covered that in my last article.

Forgot about that.

[tlk742]

everyone’s favorite mediocre wide receiver, Darren Smallwood

Ouch that hurt, I'm pretty sure that I am no one's favorite mediocre wide receiver, second favorite maybe, but not first.

[Bzerkap]

What does Askins have to do with money laundering? And who is Elway?

[HENDRIX]

What does Askins have to do with money laundering? And who is Elway?

Real life Elway. Only wanted to play on West coast team or something like that.

[Bzerkap]

Real life Elway. Only wanted to play on West coast team or something like that.

Ahhh gotcha. Well Elway was dumb with his money considering he turned down cheap AF ownership stake in the Broncos in the 90s or something.