10-14-2021, 01:40 AM
(This post was last modified: 10-14-2021, 04:25 PM by allbetsonjames. Edited 2 times in total.)
As the plane touched down at Portland International Airport, a weary turtle clutches his carry on luggage and prepares for his new west coast adventure. He timidly descends the walkway from the airplane onto the tarmac, and to his shock is immediately overwhelmed by a flurry of activity. Dozens of reporters, several camera crews, as well as an awkward young podcaster, were gathered eagerly anticipating the arrival of their rookie phenom. Pasta the Turtle gulped as his stage fright became manifest in the inner recesses of his bladder. As he struggled to keep his composure, the media teams walked right by him to interview the one they were actually there to see.. Spicy Ron. The swashbuckling linebacker with the charming smile, barrel chest and sinewy biceps basked in the glory of the spotlight, while pasta mercifully escaped into a cab to get to the team facilities. Later he would check his social feeds to ensure he had escaped detection. While he was able to confirm this fact he was also able to get a feel for his new teammate. Indeed Spicy Ron did not seem shy, but his confidence did not seem to border on arrogance. He was a man who was very sure of himself, which was a lot more than the scared reptile in the lonely rookie dorm could say. Indeed Pasta the Turtle had been lounging alone in his room for several hours before an inebriated Spicy Ron burst into the dorm room surrounded by a consort of locals who seemed eager to get to know the future linebacking star. Pasta pretended to be asleep until Ron's entourage called it a night.
The first morning of training camp, Pasta discovered that the two rookie linebackers had been given stalls right next to each other. Pasta avoided eye contact as he struggled to attach his specialized leg and arm pads. He looked over and noticed that SPicy Ron seemed perplexed at the prospect of the protective equipment.
"need any help?" pasta enquired
"I, uh... I've never had to wear this stuff before" Spicy retorted
"what do you mean? I seen your stats? You were a total force before you got drafted by portland. Something about setting league records?"
"yea...well... I uh...try to hide what league I was in..."
"what do you mean?"
"well....I kinda felt like I really wanted to hone my craft before I moved on to the next level. Like wanted to be the absolute best before I moved to the professional leagues."
"oh yea I get that. like you played at a smaller school or something? I played at the University of Newfoundland so I hear ya. I think a ton of these guys came from smaller schools"
Spicy, staring at his feet, muttered:
"well... let's just say I gave the whole college experience a miss"
"oh wow. so you're coming straight from high school? like a grade 13 or 14 kinda deal"
silence
"oh so community? that is still legit football"
Spicy finally broke down and shared his path to the DSFL. 10 consecutive years of Peewee football had afforded Spicy an opportunity to greatly inflate his statistics, as well as his confidence. The last few years he neglected to even bother with protective equipment, finding it got in the way of him punishing 8 year olds who dared to oppose him. Despite the brutality of the spectacle, SPicy Ron's radiant charm, and playful demeanour caused his entire town to rally around him and support his pathway to the DSFL and eventually the ISFL. Nevertheless, he did lack a certain understanding of the nuance of high level football. As Pasta would soon find out, he made up for that in spades with RAW ATHLETICISM.
Where Pasta would excel at reading offences and was quickly able to memorize the linebacker playbook (as well as that of the defensive line, the safeties and cornerbacks) Spicy Ron would use his game breaking speed and otherworldly strength to disrupt plays, regardless of what his teammates were doing. This difference in playstyles certainly led to arguments, as Pasta would chastise SPicy Ron for missing assignments, and Ron would make fun of Pasta deficiencies in terms of his physical attributes. Indeed where SPicy struggled with learning his defensive assignments, Pasta the Turtle proved to be lacking in speed and strength. He would find himself in the correct position as dictated by the playbook and his coaches, but would still get blocked or run over by a runningback.
While the competition between the two aspiring linebackers was fierce, both of them were concerned by their own deficiencies that they failed to notice the congruence their relative strengths and weaknesses offered. Instead, they resorted to petty schoolyard tactics. Spicy Ron would frequently supplement Pasta the Turtle's daily pre practice carb load (consisting of penne or linguine tossed in a delightful marinara) with a heaping helpful of 5 alarm hot sauce. While this gimmick proved relatively harmless when Spicy attempted it on his 8 year old competitors of yesteryear, Pasta did not take kindly to this culinary intrusion. Several fist fights would break out in the cafeteria, although pasta would frequently turtle (sorry that's lazy).
Pasta was no stranger to engaging in foul play. He would frequently replace Spicy Ron's pencils and pens with jumbo crayons, and replace his playbook with an etch a sketch. Once again after SPicy Ron was sufficiently embarrassed after the tenth time of pulling out an etch a sketch and crayons during team meetings that a yelling match erupted on the practice field. This was quickly broken up and the teams prepared for a preseason game with icy demeanour. A cloud hung over the team, and it showed in their play, as neither Pasta nor SPicy made a very positive impact in the game. At the risk of being cut despite being high draft picks, Pasta and Ron continued feeding. Spicy would find joy in flipping pasta on his back and walking away. One time it took several hours before a team ate chanced upon the frustrated and embarrassed turtle and helped him up to his feet. Pasta would return the favour in the form of replacing the ink that spicy run would apply under his eyes as a form of war paint with his famous five alarm hot sauce. After several hours of Spicy Ron blindly swinging and swearing all forms of ill will upon pasta and his family, the two young linebackers were sat down by Mark Goodhead, the starting tight end and a locker room leader.
He made it clear to the two malcontents that football is a team sport, and that they would need to learn to play together and use their relative strengths and weaknesses to augment each other, or they could find their football careers at an early end.
"The choice is yours," he said grimly as he walked away from the two stunned rookies. Pasta the Turtle and SPicy Ron exchanged an icy glare that seemed to last for hours until they both retired to their bunks.
The next morning started as normal, with pasta doing his ritual carb load. Spicy Ron, with his trusty bottle of hot sauce aching to be called upon in his hand, eventually thought better of it and replaced the bottle in his locker. During a scrimmage, pasta noticed that the left guard was pointing his toes to the right, suggesting that he was going to pull for a counter going to the right. He looked over to his partner lb and noticed that he was gazing at the sky and had missed this cue. The play was base defence, but pasta knew what was coming, and whispered to Ron, telling him to blitz C gap. SPicy Ron looked at him with confusion and mistrust... was this another attempt to embarrass him in form of his coaches? another opportunity to gloat about him not knowing the play. One look at the grim determination in the Turtle's face made him trust him...this one time. The ball was snapped, the guard pulled. The running back took a false step to the right before cutting to the right, accepting the handoff, and running head-on into spicy ron, who had absolutely demolished the pulling guard as if he was one of his 8 year old opponents from last year in peewee. The shock of the assault caused him to lose control of the football, right into the hands of the waiting Pasta, who recovered the football and ended the drill. Mark Goodhead, from the opposing side of the field, noticed the synergy developing between the two youngsters and smiled to himself.
Laster in the day, Spicy Ron was on his way to the gym as he walked past the turtle who was shell deep in the playbooks and film study analysis. He stopped, and grudgingly invited Pasta to join him. In a mirror episode of what happened earlier, pasta locked eyes with his former nemesis, attempting to gauge his intentions. While his strength and speed were the biggest barriers to his success on the field was this perhaps another prank that Spicy Ron was trying to pull. After gazing into his eyes for what others in the room described as "an uncomfortable amount of time" Pasta hesitantly accepted the offer and went to pump weights with his teammate. Indeed, Ron went above and beyond in developing an entire program for Pasta, targeting his specific deficits and building on his strengths. They spent the next few weeks following practices up with several hour long workouts. Their competitive natures evolved from aggression and vitriol to friendly gamesmanship. Pasta returned the favour of Spicy Ron's support in the weight room with classroom sessions to get SPicy caught up on the playbook. Indeed, they went from mortal enemies to inseparable in a matter of days. They started to get to know each other's abilities and found ways to accentuate each other on the field and off.
Spicy Ron helped Pasta develop a spin move that proved devastating. The idea came after a late night marathon of super Mario... essentially they lubed up Pasta's shell with a mixture of KY jelly and hot sauce, Spicy would spin Pasta in a circle in a fashion reminiscent of an Olympic hammer thrower, and at the snap of the ball would release the hulking mass of pasta and shell at whatever unfortunate lineman was the designated target. Lineman found it virtually impossible to prevent the spinning reptile from slipping past them, and they would be thanked for their effort with a glove full of hot sauce. In one unfortunate practice incident, this move was attempted against the starting center, who neglected to wash his hands afterwards. He then snapped the ball to starting QB Wendell Sailer, and the hot sauce went from Pasta, to the center, to Wendell, who had an unfortunate habit of licking his fingers Drew Brees style pre snap. The rage and profanity that followed I dare not include in this media piece out of fear that it becomes demonetized. Suffice it to say there are quite a few Australian phrases that were learnt in portland that day, and Pasta and Ron conveniently did not share their part in the incident.
The real takeaway at the end of the camp is that the two high draft picks had evolved from enemies to close friends, each supporting the other on the field, as well as in their individual bids for accolades. Indeed, Spicy Ron's disruptive playstyle allowed Pasta the turtle to clean up and win defensive performer of the week for the league in week 1 and week 10. Pasta's support in directing Spicy Ron's blitzes has supported him in challenging in the league lead in sacks. Both have been top performers for the Portland Pythons, which is no small feat as rookies. The dynamic duo is frequently cited as favourites for defensive rookie of the year, as they both are top performers in most defensive categories.
Despite their individual successes on the field, and the interest both are garnering from ISFL teams who are preparing for their own rookie draft, the two rookies remain focused on TEAM SUCCESS. Portland has been up and down this season, currently sitting one spot out of playoff contention. The two rookies know how important it is that they continue developing and growing in their roles as linebackers. There is an established core of players, and they are hopeful that as the season progresses, they are able to contribute to the team's ability to not only get into playoffs, but to challenge for a cup. There have been ups and downs in terms of team performance, so hopefully, the increasing maturity of these two rookies leads to more stability moving forward.
Often while sharing post game libations, the two friends muse over their future in the league. Both knew going into it that it would be a short stop in Portland, but neither expected to grow so attached to their temporary home. The team, fans and in fact the entire city has welcomed them with open arms. The minimum they hope to do to repay is to bring a cup home. This is all done with an eye to the future, as both players know that they will likely be separated at the ISFL level. It is hard to imagine the emotional intensity that happens when a friendship forged out of early animosity which developed into an inseparable union. While both know that they have what it takes to make it work alone, it is a unique partnership that both are hoping will be kept together.
At a personal level, Pasta has really enjoyed his foray into professional football. He is also a professional hockey player, and has enjoyed the mental break he can take by being a multisport turtle. The offseason can be long and boring and Pasta is so grateful to have found something to fill the monotony of not playing competitive sports. He has even found that there has been a transfer insofar as the abilities and moves he learns on the football field seem to also work in the rink, and vice versa. For example, that spinning pass rush move has been deadly on the penalty kill while playing hockey, as he spins around the offensive area careening and devastating all that is in his path. There has not been an answer from the offensive perspective. He has also found that affinity for block shots has translated into football as he will dive through the air to deflect passes (sometimes even intercepting the ball. All this is to say that for all of those asking if Pasta the Turtle was going to eventually choose between the two sports, that day is not coming soon. Quite the opposite, it is likely that his engagement in multiple sports has only made him a more impressive force to reckon with. There were worries that Pasta trying a new sport would diminish his drive or capacity for success. This could not be further from the truth.
[2516 words]
The first morning of training camp, Pasta discovered that the two rookie linebackers had been given stalls right next to each other. Pasta avoided eye contact as he struggled to attach his specialized leg and arm pads. He looked over and noticed that SPicy Ron seemed perplexed at the prospect of the protective equipment.
"need any help?" pasta enquired
"I, uh... I've never had to wear this stuff before" Spicy retorted
"what do you mean? I seen your stats? You were a total force before you got drafted by portland. Something about setting league records?"
"yea...well... I uh...try to hide what league I was in..."
"what do you mean?"
"well....I kinda felt like I really wanted to hone my craft before I moved on to the next level. Like wanted to be the absolute best before I moved to the professional leagues."
"oh yea I get that. like you played at a smaller school or something? I played at the University of Newfoundland so I hear ya. I think a ton of these guys came from smaller schools"
Spicy, staring at his feet, muttered:
"well... let's just say I gave the whole college experience a miss"
"oh wow. so you're coming straight from high school? like a grade 13 or 14 kinda deal"
silence
"oh so community? that is still legit football"
Spicy finally broke down and shared his path to the DSFL. 10 consecutive years of Peewee football had afforded Spicy an opportunity to greatly inflate his statistics, as well as his confidence. The last few years he neglected to even bother with protective equipment, finding it got in the way of him punishing 8 year olds who dared to oppose him. Despite the brutality of the spectacle, SPicy Ron's radiant charm, and playful demeanour caused his entire town to rally around him and support his pathway to the DSFL and eventually the ISFL. Nevertheless, he did lack a certain understanding of the nuance of high level football. As Pasta would soon find out, he made up for that in spades with RAW ATHLETICISM.
Where Pasta would excel at reading offences and was quickly able to memorize the linebacker playbook (as well as that of the defensive line, the safeties and cornerbacks) Spicy Ron would use his game breaking speed and otherworldly strength to disrupt plays, regardless of what his teammates were doing. This difference in playstyles certainly led to arguments, as Pasta would chastise SPicy Ron for missing assignments, and Ron would make fun of Pasta deficiencies in terms of his physical attributes. Indeed where SPicy struggled with learning his defensive assignments, Pasta the Turtle proved to be lacking in speed and strength. He would find himself in the correct position as dictated by the playbook and his coaches, but would still get blocked or run over by a runningback.
While the competition between the two aspiring linebackers was fierce, both of them were concerned by their own deficiencies that they failed to notice the congruence their relative strengths and weaknesses offered. Instead, they resorted to petty schoolyard tactics. Spicy Ron would frequently supplement Pasta the Turtle's daily pre practice carb load (consisting of penne or linguine tossed in a delightful marinara) with a heaping helpful of 5 alarm hot sauce. While this gimmick proved relatively harmless when Spicy attempted it on his 8 year old competitors of yesteryear, Pasta did not take kindly to this culinary intrusion. Several fist fights would break out in the cafeteria, although pasta would frequently turtle (sorry that's lazy).
Pasta was no stranger to engaging in foul play. He would frequently replace Spicy Ron's pencils and pens with jumbo crayons, and replace his playbook with an etch a sketch. Once again after SPicy Ron was sufficiently embarrassed after the tenth time of pulling out an etch a sketch and crayons during team meetings that a yelling match erupted on the practice field. This was quickly broken up and the teams prepared for a preseason game with icy demeanour. A cloud hung over the team, and it showed in their play, as neither Pasta nor SPicy made a very positive impact in the game. At the risk of being cut despite being high draft picks, Pasta and Ron continued feeding. Spicy would find joy in flipping pasta on his back and walking away. One time it took several hours before a team ate chanced upon the frustrated and embarrassed turtle and helped him up to his feet. Pasta would return the favour in the form of replacing the ink that spicy run would apply under his eyes as a form of war paint with his famous five alarm hot sauce. After several hours of Spicy Ron blindly swinging and swearing all forms of ill will upon pasta and his family, the two young linebackers were sat down by Mark Goodhead, the starting tight end and a locker room leader.
He made it clear to the two malcontents that football is a team sport, and that they would need to learn to play together and use their relative strengths and weaknesses to augment each other, or they could find their football careers at an early end.
"The choice is yours," he said grimly as he walked away from the two stunned rookies. Pasta the Turtle and SPicy Ron exchanged an icy glare that seemed to last for hours until they both retired to their bunks.
The next morning started as normal, with pasta doing his ritual carb load. Spicy Ron, with his trusty bottle of hot sauce aching to be called upon in his hand, eventually thought better of it and replaced the bottle in his locker. During a scrimmage, pasta noticed that the left guard was pointing his toes to the right, suggesting that he was going to pull for a counter going to the right. He looked over to his partner lb and noticed that he was gazing at the sky and had missed this cue. The play was base defence, but pasta knew what was coming, and whispered to Ron, telling him to blitz C gap. SPicy Ron looked at him with confusion and mistrust... was this another attempt to embarrass him in form of his coaches? another opportunity to gloat about him not knowing the play. One look at the grim determination in the Turtle's face made him trust him...this one time. The ball was snapped, the guard pulled. The running back took a false step to the right before cutting to the right, accepting the handoff, and running head-on into spicy ron, who had absolutely demolished the pulling guard as if he was one of his 8 year old opponents from last year in peewee. The shock of the assault caused him to lose control of the football, right into the hands of the waiting Pasta, who recovered the football and ended the drill. Mark Goodhead, from the opposing side of the field, noticed the synergy developing between the two youngsters and smiled to himself.
Laster in the day, Spicy Ron was on his way to the gym as he walked past the turtle who was shell deep in the playbooks and film study analysis. He stopped, and grudgingly invited Pasta to join him. In a mirror episode of what happened earlier, pasta locked eyes with his former nemesis, attempting to gauge his intentions. While his strength and speed were the biggest barriers to his success on the field was this perhaps another prank that Spicy Ron was trying to pull. After gazing into his eyes for what others in the room described as "an uncomfortable amount of time" Pasta hesitantly accepted the offer and went to pump weights with his teammate. Indeed, Ron went above and beyond in developing an entire program for Pasta, targeting his specific deficits and building on his strengths. They spent the next few weeks following practices up with several hour long workouts. Their competitive natures evolved from aggression and vitriol to friendly gamesmanship. Pasta returned the favour of Spicy Ron's support in the weight room with classroom sessions to get SPicy caught up on the playbook. Indeed, they went from mortal enemies to inseparable in a matter of days. They started to get to know each other's abilities and found ways to accentuate each other on the field and off.
Spicy Ron helped Pasta develop a spin move that proved devastating. The idea came after a late night marathon of super Mario... essentially they lubed up Pasta's shell with a mixture of KY jelly and hot sauce, Spicy would spin Pasta in a circle in a fashion reminiscent of an Olympic hammer thrower, and at the snap of the ball would release the hulking mass of pasta and shell at whatever unfortunate lineman was the designated target. Lineman found it virtually impossible to prevent the spinning reptile from slipping past them, and they would be thanked for their effort with a glove full of hot sauce. In one unfortunate practice incident, this move was attempted against the starting center, who neglected to wash his hands afterwards. He then snapped the ball to starting QB Wendell Sailer, and the hot sauce went from Pasta, to the center, to Wendell, who had an unfortunate habit of licking his fingers Drew Brees style pre snap. The rage and profanity that followed I dare not include in this media piece out of fear that it becomes demonetized. Suffice it to say there are quite a few Australian phrases that were learnt in portland that day, and Pasta and Ron conveniently did not share their part in the incident.
The real takeaway at the end of the camp is that the two high draft picks had evolved from enemies to close friends, each supporting the other on the field, as well as in their individual bids for accolades. Indeed, Spicy Ron's disruptive playstyle allowed Pasta the turtle to clean up and win defensive performer of the week for the league in week 1 and week 10. Pasta's support in directing Spicy Ron's blitzes has supported him in challenging in the league lead in sacks. Both have been top performers for the Portland Pythons, which is no small feat as rookies. The dynamic duo is frequently cited as favourites for defensive rookie of the year, as they both are top performers in most defensive categories.
Despite their individual successes on the field, and the interest both are garnering from ISFL teams who are preparing for their own rookie draft, the two rookies remain focused on TEAM SUCCESS. Portland has been up and down this season, currently sitting one spot out of playoff contention. The two rookies know how important it is that they continue developing and growing in their roles as linebackers. There is an established core of players, and they are hopeful that as the season progresses, they are able to contribute to the team's ability to not only get into playoffs, but to challenge for a cup. There have been ups and downs in terms of team performance, so hopefully, the increasing maturity of these two rookies leads to more stability moving forward.
Often while sharing post game libations, the two friends muse over their future in the league. Both knew going into it that it would be a short stop in Portland, but neither expected to grow so attached to their temporary home. The team, fans and in fact the entire city has welcomed them with open arms. The minimum they hope to do to repay is to bring a cup home. This is all done with an eye to the future, as both players know that they will likely be separated at the ISFL level. It is hard to imagine the emotional intensity that happens when a friendship forged out of early animosity which developed into an inseparable union. While both know that they have what it takes to make it work alone, it is a unique partnership that both are hoping will be kept together.
At a personal level, Pasta has really enjoyed his foray into professional football. He is also a professional hockey player, and has enjoyed the mental break he can take by being a multisport turtle. The offseason can be long and boring and Pasta is so grateful to have found something to fill the monotony of not playing competitive sports. He has even found that there has been a transfer insofar as the abilities and moves he learns on the football field seem to also work in the rink, and vice versa. For example, that spinning pass rush move has been deadly on the penalty kill while playing hockey, as he spins around the offensive area careening and devastating all that is in his path. There has not been an answer from the offensive perspective. He has also found that affinity for block shots has translated into football as he will dive through the air to deflect passes (sometimes even intercepting the ball. All this is to say that for all of those asking if Pasta the Turtle was going to eventually choose between the two sports, that day is not coming soon. Quite the opposite, it is likely that his engagement in multiple sports has only made him a more impressive force to reckon with. There were worries that Pasta trying a new sport would diminish his drive or capacity for success. This could not be further from the truth.
[2516 words]
![[Image: Untitled.png?ex=65b552d3&is=65a2ddd3&hm=...fce0de51c&]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/977977474606567495/1195804608551985236/Untitled.png?ex=65b552d3&is=65a2ddd3&hm=ca9b42227652104f6b11b956cf514030046eea6d6140d0e15b679fcfce0de51c&)
