New Talent: Mycah Hendrix was traded to the Yellowknife Wraiths as part of the Liberty teardown and proved to be an enormous asset to the spooky boys from up north as they went to claim their first Ultimus Championship. Hendrix accumulated 14 tackles, 2 sacks, a forced fumble, and 4 pass deflections in the Wraiths’ two playoff games and played an enormous part of both the comeback win against the Hawks and the decisive game against the upstart New Orleans Second Line, pairing with Boss Tweed, Marcus Kane and company to put a linebacking core on the field that rivaled any that the league has seen. The Wraiths held New Orleans to under 400 total yards in the Ultimus game, and Hendrix was right there making tackles for short gains, knocking passes down at the line, and getting after the quarterback on the blitz. In a statline that earned him consideration for Ultimus MVP and a surefire spot in the Yellowknife Wring of Honor when it’s all said and done Mycah Hendrix proved that no matter where you start the season you can make an outsized impact in the playoffs if a team has the will to make a ballsy acquisition to get them biscuits.
Playoff Series MVP: The MVP of the Ultimus Championship is none other than the chief spook of them all, Matt Akselsen. The Spooky speedster, undead arbiter of offense, and calamitous carrier of various footballs took the reigns of a Yellowknife offense that desperately wanted its first title after being robbed for 3 consecutive years. Standing in their way were the villains of the New Orleans Second Line, dastardly memeing assassins that had already foiled Mike Boss and the Orange County Otters’ plans for championship through a sneaky offensive scheme, a mischievous dog like figure playing quarterback and the trusty peg leg of their kicker Peg Leg. Askelson carved up the sickly second line exactly as their name would appear to suggest. Surging through them like the backups they were, accumulating a whopping 367 yards and a touchdown on 30 total touches while throwing now interceptions an only turning the ball over a single time when the devious second line defenders filled a balloon with grease and exploded it on Akselsen mid run. The Wraiths QB outmatched the talking dog that New Orleans’ locker room had placed their false faith in and carried the spooky boys to victory and eternal glory. For this feat, he is your MVP.
That Magic Moment: You ever see a killer whale catch its prey Jimmy? Well, if you had you would know that the combination of ferocity, speed, and a relentless desire to succeed that fails only in the face of literal nuclear weapons are all primary weapons of our aquatic friends when they are on the hunt for unsuspecting otters and drunk members of the second line that fell into the levee. In this way, Dermot Lavelle was much like a killer whale when he hauled in a 31-yard touchdown from Wraiths signal caller Matt Akselsen during the waning minutes of the first half of the NSFC title game against the Baltimore Hawks. Lavelle started what was supposed to be a sick double move, but he never did the fake because fuck it, who needs fakes when you just slammed a fifth of Baileys and a jug of milk and you can see the endzone in the space behind your eyes. He shook Delacour right out of his fuzzy slippers on the nine-route deep and then waited for Sexy Aksy to float that ball right in there all perfect like. This was the first score of the game for Yellowknife and the wake-up call that reminded the rest of the team that they were killer whales and not drunk musicians from the backup dancing crew.
Unsung Hero: So let me tell a little bit about how we run offense up here in spooky town and you can fill in the rest of the details as to who my unsung player is. In Yellowknife we throw the ball, and we throw it a fair bit, and we throw it pretty far. QB Matty Aks is down to go sexy rexy on defenses and just bomb it downfield play after play after play until he makes one happen. And through this procedure of bombing and dropping and bombing again we get down the field and into the red zone. Friend I ask you this, what do you think happens in the red zone? Well, we load up in the Yellowknife I formation and we give the ball to Robby fricking Rainey, that’s what. Even if he didn’t have all that many yards or the fancy YPC that other backs did, the man scored 5 touchdowns in two games while carrying the load volume wise and never turning the ball over. Rainey did what needed to be done in the red zone and thus earns my wholehearted endorsement for unsung hero of Yellowknife’s championship run for the feat of leading his team in scoring over the series even in the pass happy NSFL.
Playoff Series MVP: The MVP of the Ultimus Championship is none other than the chief spook of them all, Matt Akselsen. The Spooky speedster, undead arbiter of offense, and calamitous carrier of various footballs took the reigns of a Yellowknife offense that desperately wanted its first title after being robbed for 3 consecutive years. Standing in their way were the villains of the New Orleans Second Line, dastardly memeing assassins that had already foiled Mike Boss and the Orange County Otters’ plans for championship through a sneaky offensive scheme, a mischievous dog like figure playing quarterback and the trusty peg leg of their kicker Peg Leg. Askelson carved up the sickly second line exactly as their name would appear to suggest. Surging through them like the backups they were, accumulating a whopping 367 yards and a touchdown on 30 total touches while throwing now interceptions an only turning the ball over a single time when the devious second line defenders filled a balloon with grease and exploded it on Akselsen mid run. The Wraiths QB outmatched the talking dog that New Orleans’ locker room had placed their false faith in and carried the spooky boys to victory and eternal glory. For this feat, he is your MVP.
That Magic Moment: You ever see a killer whale catch its prey Jimmy? Well, if you had you would know that the combination of ferocity, speed, and a relentless desire to succeed that fails only in the face of literal nuclear weapons are all primary weapons of our aquatic friends when they are on the hunt for unsuspecting otters and drunk members of the second line that fell into the levee. In this way, Dermot Lavelle was much like a killer whale when he hauled in a 31-yard touchdown from Wraiths signal caller Matt Akselsen during the waning minutes of the first half of the NSFC title game against the Baltimore Hawks. Lavelle started what was supposed to be a sick double move, but he never did the fake because fuck it, who needs fakes when you just slammed a fifth of Baileys and a jug of milk and you can see the endzone in the space behind your eyes. He shook Delacour right out of his fuzzy slippers on the nine-route deep and then waited for Sexy Aksy to float that ball right in there all perfect like. This was the first score of the game for Yellowknife and the wake-up call that reminded the rest of the team that they were killer whales and not drunk musicians from the backup dancing crew.
Unsung Hero: So let me tell a little bit about how we run offense up here in spooky town and you can fill in the rest of the details as to who my unsung player is. In Yellowknife we throw the ball, and we throw it a fair bit, and we throw it pretty far. QB Matty Aks is down to go sexy rexy on defenses and just bomb it downfield play after play after play until he makes one happen. And through this procedure of bombing and dropping and bombing again we get down the field and into the red zone. Friend I ask you this, what do you think happens in the red zone? Well, we load up in the Yellowknife I formation and we give the ball to Robby fricking Rainey, that’s what. Even if he didn’t have all that many yards or the fancy YPC that other backs did, the man scored 5 touchdowns in two games while carrying the load volume wise and never turning the ball over. Rainey did what needed to be done in the red zone and thus earns my wholehearted endorsement for unsung hero of Yellowknife’s championship run for the feat of leading his team in scoring over the series even in the pass happy NSFL.
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