GOING TO DISNEYLAND
The MVP of the Ultimus should be obvious. The winning quarterback?? No. Blocksdale actually got outdueled by his opponent. Okay, what about Owen Taylor? Well, the uncrowned and actually deserving S9 MVP was great this game for sure. He didn't really have the biggest impact, though. In the end, the MVP of the Ultimus can really only be placed on the shoulders of one man. A long suffering, hard working staple of the entire Baltimore Hawks history. Turk Turkleton. Yes, the kicker is the MVP.
Turkleton was perfect on the day with 5 field goals and 2 extra points. Not always an easy proposition for NSFL kickers and yet on the biggest stage it was Turkleton who drove home more than half of his team's points when the Second Lien stopped the rest of the offense over and over again. He wasn't done there though. He repeatedly boomed punts and kickoffs with such ferocity that the Second Line began more than half their possessions at or inside their own 20. Not an easy feat by any means and it certainly changed the complexion of the game that he was also busy deciding in the scoreboard. When his storied career is said and done, Baltimore fans should remember that ti was their long underappreciated kicker who drove home their first championship.
THAT MAGIC MOMENT
It was the most tense of situations. Less than three minutes remaining in the fourth quarter of the Ultimus Championship. The Second Line was down by 6 and had the ball just inside the Hawks' side of the field. Arguably the best Quarterback on the planet lined up behind one of the most prolific offenses in team history. A touchdown would tie the game and hopefully an extra point would give them the lead and give them their best chance to win the trophy for the second year in a row.
On first down Maximus couldn't find anyone and had to let go of the ball as the Hawks' pass rush barrelled towards him with reckless abandon. Yet clearly he'd seen something. Coming to the line again, Borkus surveyed the field and......took off running. He'd successfully done it a few plays prior, though and the defense was waiting. Arbin Asipi Jr dropped him behind the line for a one yard loss, no doubt thinking it was skill and not another in a series of never ending gifts that defined his career, if one could call it that. The son of a champion who was handed everything and bounced from team to team before managing to accidentally land on one that would win the Ultimus, then being able to actually be gifted a tackle due to a quarterback run in a situation where it made no sense.
Third down and 11 saw Borkus quickly rifle a pass to Ardea Savea. It was dropped. Everything ratcheted up to the nth degree, which is slightly more than the mth degree. The Second Line had to go for it. It was 4th and 11 for literally everything at the Hawks' 46. The ball was handed off to Darren Smallwood who ran for 5 yards. On 4th and 11. In the last 2 minutes of the Ultimus. While trailing. The creators of New Coke breathed a sigh of relief for finally, someone had fucked it up worse than they had.
NEW TALENT
It's not every day that a world class WR drops into the lap of a title contender for pennies on the dollar with an explicitly public understanding that this was to be a partial season rental of said player, who agreed to re-sign with the team that had traded him at the end of the season. But it happened.
In a move that would make the Mafia incredulous, Carter Bush spent exactly 2 months as a member of the Baltimore Hawks roster, where his pass catching clearly helped put them over the top and into the playoffs before eventually hoisting the trophy as Ultimus Champions. It was the kind of plan that could only be topped by a player moving teams at the trade deadline with paying lip service to re-signing and then instantly going back to his old team while trying to sneakily take other members of his new team with him back to his old team.
We didn't reach out to the Hawks or Liberty for a comment because we don't really need to. They played by the rules. And there's no such rule as collusion among conference rivals. They were not double dealing snakes. Which is a credit to them, the Liberty and WR Carter Bush. A credit in the shape of the Ultimus Trophy.
PLAYOFF REVIEW
ASFC Championship
The lowest scoring playoff games on record from two teams known for their offenses. It was rough. Defenses ruled the entire game as neither team could get much of anything going. Neither team even got past the 50 yard line for the entire first quarter. Penalties derailed multiple drives. This is the kind of ugly, dirty game that both teams would love to forget happened. And all brought to you by sponsors who paid millions of dollars to attach their names to the game. Exciting!
NSFC Championship
It had to be like a recurring nightmare for the Yeti. They'd made the playoffs for the second year in a row and found themselves in Baltimore. Again. They manged to hold the lead. Again. With time left in the 4th quarter they were in position to stop the Hawks form scoring and have a chance to win. Again. Then the Hawks slowly drove down the field for five and a half minutes before kicking a field goal that might as well have been a dagger through the heart to Yeti players and fans. This was the kind of torture not even the US Government would sanction. And it ended with the hawks going to the Ultimus. Again.
Ultimus Championship
The Second Line started fast, scoring 10 in the first ten minutes of the game. The teams went back and forth with the team from New Orleans holding their lead. Then, Turk Turkleton meticulously kicked the shit out of their championship hopes, one swing of his golden foot at a time. The Second Line offense did their best to keep putting points on the board and the defense did theirs to keep the Hawks out of the end zone as often as humanly possible. In the end, a run on 4th and 11 that makes no Earthly sense was the deciding factor that sealed the game and the Hawks first Ultimus win.
The MVP of the Ultimus should be obvious. The winning quarterback?? No. Blocksdale actually got outdueled by his opponent. Okay, what about Owen Taylor? Well, the uncrowned and actually deserving S9 MVP was great this game for sure. He didn't really have the biggest impact, though. In the end, the MVP of the Ultimus can really only be placed on the shoulders of one man. A long suffering, hard working staple of the entire Baltimore Hawks history. Turk Turkleton. Yes, the kicker is the MVP.
Turkleton was perfect on the day with 5 field goals and 2 extra points. Not always an easy proposition for NSFL kickers and yet on the biggest stage it was Turkleton who drove home more than half of his team's points when the Second Lien stopped the rest of the offense over and over again. He wasn't done there though. He repeatedly boomed punts and kickoffs with such ferocity that the Second Line began more than half their possessions at or inside their own 20. Not an easy feat by any means and it certainly changed the complexion of the game that he was also busy deciding in the scoreboard. When his storied career is said and done, Baltimore fans should remember that ti was their long underappreciated kicker who drove home their first championship.
THAT MAGIC MOMENT
It was the most tense of situations. Less than three minutes remaining in the fourth quarter of the Ultimus Championship. The Second Line was down by 6 and had the ball just inside the Hawks' side of the field. Arguably the best Quarterback on the planet lined up behind one of the most prolific offenses in team history. A touchdown would tie the game and hopefully an extra point would give them the lead and give them their best chance to win the trophy for the second year in a row.
On first down Maximus couldn't find anyone and had to let go of the ball as the Hawks' pass rush barrelled towards him with reckless abandon. Yet clearly he'd seen something. Coming to the line again, Borkus surveyed the field and......took off running. He'd successfully done it a few plays prior, though and the defense was waiting. Arbin Asipi Jr dropped him behind the line for a one yard loss, no doubt thinking it was skill and not another in a series of never ending gifts that defined his career, if one could call it that. The son of a champion who was handed everything and bounced from team to team before managing to accidentally land on one that would win the Ultimus, then being able to actually be gifted a tackle due to a quarterback run in a situation where it made no sense.
Third down and 11 saw Borkus quickly rifle a pass to Ardea Savea. It was dropped. Everything ratcheted up to the nth degree, which is slightly more than the mth degree. The Second Line had to go for it. It was 4th and 11 for literally everything at the Hawks' 46. The ball was handed off to Darren Smallwood who ran for 5 yards. On 4th and 11. In the last 2 minutes of the Ultimus. While trailing. The creators of New Coke breathed a sigh of relief for finally, someone had fucked it up worse than they had.
NEW TALENT
It's not every day that a world class WR drops into the lap of a title contender for pennies on the dollar with an explicitly public understanding that this was to be a partial season rental of said player, who agreed to re-sign with the team that had traded him at the end of the season. But it happened.
In a move that would make the Mafia incredulous, Carter Bush spent exactly 2 months as a member of the Baltimore Hawks roster, where his pass catching clearly helped put them over the top and into the playoffs before eventually hoisting the trophy as Ultimus Champions. It was the kind of plan that could only be topped by a player moving teams at the trade deadline with paying lip service to re-signing and then instantly going back to his old team while trying to sneakily take other members of his new team with him back to his old team.
We didn't reach out to the Hawks or Liberty for a comment because we don't really need to. They played by the rules. And there's no such rule as collusion among conference rivals. They were not double dealing snakes. Which is a credit to them, the Liberty and WR Carter Bush. A credit in the shape of the Ultimus Trophy.
PLAYOFF REVIEW
ASFC Championship
The lowest scoring playoff games on record from two teams known for their offenses. It was rough. Defenses ruled the entire game as neither team could get much of anything going. Neither team even got past the 50 yard line for the entire first quarter. Penalties derailed multiple drives. This is the kind of ugly, dirty game that both teams would love to forget happened. And all brought to you by sponsors who paid millions of dollars to attach their names to the game. Exciting!
NSFC Championship
It had to be like a recurring nightmare for the Yeti. They'd made the playoffs for the second year in a row and found themselves in Baltimore. Again. They manged to hold the lead. Again. With time left in the 4th quarter they were in position to stop the Hawks form scoring and have a chance to win. Again. Then the Hawks slowly drove down the field for five and a half minutes before kicking a field goal that might as well have been a dagger through the heart to Yeti players and fans. This was the kind of torture not even the US Government would sanction. And it ended with the hawks going to the Ultimus. Again.
Ultimus Championship
The Second Line started fast, scoring 10 in the first ten minutes of the game. The teams went back and forth with the team from New Orleans holding their lead. Then, Turk Turkleton meticulously kicked the shit out of their championship hopes, one swing of his golden foot at a time. The Second Line offense did their best to keep putting points on the board and the defense did theirs to keep the Hawks out of the end zone as often as humanly possible. In the end, a run on 4th and 11 that makes no Earthly sense was the deciding factor that sealed the game and the Hawks first Ultimus win.
![[Image: 68.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/722696337912496132/759304283312881684/68.png)
