03-24-2019, 05:18 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-24-2019, 09:40 PM by timeconsumer.)
Work on in the offseason? Baby, Cooter doesn't need any work done. Cooter is fucking perfection. Cooter is the culmination of what pure elite genetics combined with mythical brainpower all wrapped up in the body of a greek god. Cooter is like chiseled out of fucking marble, yall. Want to know what Cooter worked on in the offseason? Women.. Cooter worked on women. Not just any old groupies either, Cooter got taste. Cooter spent his offseason working on the girlfriend of fellow quarterback Corvo Havran. See he likes those Danish girls, all tall and athletic with a little meat on em and, ya know when I'm getting at. So he finds old Corvo's girlfriend at the draft and they hit it off, she's giving Cooter the eyes y'know, as he's standing up there on stage being the #1 draft pick, and she wanted to know what it was like to be with the real #1 man, not that soft bland #2 man, so Cooter spent all offseason putting her through a little minicamp. Cooter loves a good tight end. He tells her to get down in that three point stance and he lines up deep in the backfield ready to go for a deep drive and, okay this innuendo might be getting a little too weird but idk, it's kind of working. Raven is gonna be mad at me.
Hank Winchester (S25 - Current) - Scrub
Angus Winchester (S1-S12) - 4x Ultimus Champ - #2 Career Sacks - Hall of Fame
Cooter Bigsby (S14-S23) - S23 Ultimus Champ - #4 Career Yards - #4 Career TDs - 2x MVP - Hall of Fame