4. The National Simulation Football League Playoffs were extremely unpredictable this season, especially in the National simulation football conference, where two teams who achieved 8 and 5 records will face off for a chance to play for the Ultimus bowl, the league’s prestigious championship. I’m going to analyze the matchup between the quarterback of the Baltimore Hawks, and the Yellowknife Wraiths “Northern Wall” Defensive line. The hawks Quarterback is Corvo Havran, taken second overall in the season 14 draft, the Wraiths Quarterback was taken a pick before him. Havran has been a driving force in the Hawks offense, With elite talent left and right, with guys like Sunnycursed and Earl Maddox catching absolute missiles and some running back named Dorfus Jimbo who is easily the league’s worst running back (Scorp Sucks Lmao). On the other side of the ball, The Northern Wall stares down on Havran, with Guys like Ryan Leaf Jr, Nero Alexander, Luke Smyles, And Zach Skinner staring into the soul of the opposing Quarterback, and preparing to stop any plans for a long drive to their endzone. This line sacked the opposing QB 25 times, and has been crucial to shit down elite run games like that of the Butchers and Sabercats.
6. The seventeenth season of the National Simulation Football League was a wild ride for every team, but one team in my opinion, one team has the greatest chance to secure the bag, The Yellowknife Wraiths. We may have a slightly worse record from last season but do not let the record of this team fool you, the Wraiths are almost the same exact team from last season. Cooter is once again the gun slinger the Wraiths need, throwing deep missiles left and right when needed, 4 elite receivers catching the ball like Josh Parker, Nate Swift (BigRed is always watching), Tommy Helanen, and yes, a Running back in Jerrod Canton who’s actually primarily used as a receiver, which is an interesting move that could revolutionize the game we call simulation football. The running game is pioneered by Morgan Marshall and the Said Canton, punishing opposing defenses.
The defensive side of the ball is another key aspect to the team, with the Northern Wall of Leaf, Smyles, Alexander, and, Skinner slaughtering opposing quarterbacks, Snuggles and Brown deflecting your passes, Grithead Being the all around versatility the Wraiths team, and Selich punishing opposing run games and deflecting all your hopeful passes, Do I have to say more? See you at Ultimus.
11. The trade deadline is usually quiet in the National Simulation Football League, But this season was much different than years past, with many teams either buying or selling to secure a chance at the Ultimus, the league’s championship. One of these trades was between the Baltimore Hawks and the Orange County Otters, where the hawks Sacrificed Yulic Nagasawa and Corey Trevor with a First round pick, to get a third round pick and the Ultimate prize, the league’s number one receiver, None Sunnycursed, a staple in the otters pass attack since he was drafted in season 11. Sunnycursed is almost indirectly the dictionary definition of elite, strong, fast, and smart, just as your typical National Simulation Football League player would usually need. Now a staple in the Baltimore Hawks passing game, with a much more experienced quarterback in Corvo Havran, Sunnycursed is well on his way to a possible Wide Receiver of the year award if he keeps up his work load, even a possible Ultimus. This trade took the league by storm, as some called for the league to strike the trade down, as it was deemed “one-sided” by some opposing general managers, the hawks will be tested on Monday night when they visit the Wraiths.
20. The playoffs are finally here, Wait, are you telling me a week of the playoffs have already happened?!? I’m surprised by that, let’s review the National Simulation Football Conference Wild Card Game. The Aviary, Baltimore Maryland, a sold out crowd of 100,000+ crowd the stadium, prepared to watch a slaughter of what used to be an expansion team, in this case, The Butchers Of Chicago Illinois, both have an 8 and 5 record but Baltimore won the tie breaker on a better conference record, so did the Wraiths, but this time they got a first round bye, but we do not care about them, now let’s get back to the wild card game, the final score is.. uhh a blowout?!? 40-6?!? Is this the fifteenth Ultimus Bowl again?!? I’m not a big fan of one sided games, because it can lower a team’s morale. What happened was Chicago could not get their elite running back Sam Torenson going, the Hawks defense was on him all day long, Kazimir Oles struggled to gain any yardage, as most of the passes were either deflected or the worst case scenario, getting intercepted, the reason the hawks won this game is because they shit down the Butchers offense.
6. The seventeenth season of the National Simulation Football League was a wild ride for every team, but one team in my opinion, one team has the greatest chance to secure the bag, The Yellowknife Wraiths. We may have a slightly worse record from last season but do not let the record of this team fool you, the Wraiths are almost the same exact team from last season. Cooter is once again the gun slinger the Wraiths need, throwing deep missiles left and right when needed, 4 elite receivers catching the ball like Josh Parker, Nate Swift (BigRed is always watching), Tommy Helanen, and yes, a Running back in Jerrod Canton who’s actually primarily used as a receiver, which is an interesting move that could revolutionize the game we call simulation football. The running game is pioneered by Morgan Marshall and the Said Canton, punishing opposing defenses.
The defensive side of the ball is another key aspect to the team, with the Northern Wall of Leaf, Smyles, Alexander, and, Skinner slaughtering opposing quarterbacks, Snuggles and Brown deflecting your passes, Grithead Being the all around versatility the Wraiths team, and Selich punishing opposing run games and deflecting all your hopeful passes, Do I have to say more? See you at Ultimus.
11. The trade deadline is usually quiet in the National Simulation Football League, But this season was much different than years past, with many teams either buying or selling to secure a chance at the Ultimus, the league’s championship. One of these trades was between the Baltimore Hawks and the Orange County Otters, where the hawks Sacrificed Yulic Nagasawa and Corey Trevor with a First round pick, to get a third round pick and the Ultimate prize, the league’s number one receiver, None Sunnycursed, a staple in the otters pass attack since he was drafted in season 11. Sunnycursed is almost indirectly the dictionary definition of elite, strong, fast, and smart, just as your typical National Simulation Football League player would usually need. Now a staple in the Baltimore Hawks passing game, with a much more experienced quarterback in Corvo Havran, Sunnycursed is well on his way to a possible Wide Receiver of the year award if he keeps up his work load, even a possible Ultimus. This trade took the league by storm, as some called for the league to strike the trade down, as it was deemed “one-sided” by some opposing general managers, the hawks will be tested on Monday night when they visit the Wraiths.
20. The playoffs are finally here, Wait, are you telling me a week of the playoffs have already happened?!? I’m surprised by that, let’s review the National Simulation Football Conference Wild Card Game. The Aviary, Baltimore Maryland, a sold out crowd of 100,000+ crowd the stadium, prepared to watch a slaughter of what used to be an expansion team, in this case, The Butchers Of Chicago Illinois, both have an 8 and 5 record but Baltimore won the tie breaker on a better conference record, so did the Wraiths, but this time they got a first round bye, but we do not care about them, now let’s get back to the wild card game, the final score is.. uhh a blowout?!? 40-6?!? Is this the fifteenth Ultimus Bowl again?!? I’m not a big fan of one sided games, because it can lower a team’s morale. What happened was Chicago could not get their elite running back Sam Torenson going, the Hawks defense was on him all day long, Kazimir Oles struggled to gain any yardage, as most of the passes were either deflected or the worst case scenario, getting intercepted, the reason the hawks won this game is because they shit down the Butchers offense.
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