1) Playoff Predictions, Reviews:
Hawks Destroy Butchers!
Simply put this game was never close. The Hawks jumped out to a 26 point lead before the Butchers even put any points on the board, which was a field goal. They'd immediately follow that up with another field goal to get 6 points and cut the lead to 20, but they'd fail to add to their toal and end up losing by 36 points despite Corvo Havran throwing 2 picks.
Otters win nail biter!
In their annual playoff matchup, the Orange County Otters faced off against the San Jose Sabercats at home. Rookie quarterback Franklin Armstrong looked exactly like a rookie, barely throwing for over 200 yards and having a ton of passes sail on him. Apollo Reed, however, took control on the ground and ran all over San Jose's defense. Christ was particularly ineffective as he didn't do much running and he really didn't control the game passing either. All in all the game wasn't quite as close as the score indicated, but still a good game.
Wraiths Bounced Two Years in a Row!
After destroying the Butchers, the Hawks found themselves on the road in Yellowknife, a fairly hard place to win a game. Cooter Bigsby was dazzling as he threw all over the Hawks' terrible secondary especially Walt Green. Corvo Havran was staying toe for toe with Bigsby though and where he didn't match Cooter's yards, Havran found the endzone three times to his one. In the end though it'd come down to the kicking game and with a chance to tie the game in the fourth quarter, rookie kicker Kicky Bobby missed a chip shot.
No Repeat for Arizona!
With a bye week, Arizona was feeling pretty confident headed into their matchup with Orange County, so much so that Leighton Lee said he'd retire if they lost (he didn't as of yet which isn't surprising coming from him). As the game opened though, the Otters punched the Outlaws square in the face as early on Dan Schneider would return a punt 74 yards for a touchdown. That'd set the pace and Orange County would roll, tacking on 10 more points in the first quarter. From there both teams would exchange blows, but Arizona simply could never make enough stops to get the upper hand.
Ottes Add Another One!
For the second year in row the NSFL has found two underdog teams in the Ultimus, although it's hard to consider the Hawks & Otters underdogs. Nevertheless this was a game that had everything you could ask for in an Ultimus, close games, players making plays, basically it checked all the boxes. Otters won.
6) Our Time
I mean how could it not be our time to win the Ultimus this year? Oh you want to try and argue that it's because we're not actually in the playoffs? Well yeah because obviously all the other teams are scared to play us and have bribed the corrupt entity that is the Head Office of the NSFL in order to bar us from entering these tournament games and making us be like Rudolph sitting on the sidelines just watching as all the other teams be playing when deep down inside we know we got that shiny red nose thing that old man Dwyer thinks is a disease or something so that's part of his reasoning from not letting us play in these playoffs. I mean it surely can't have to do with our record and the fact that we only won like 5 games all year long as that's just another fascist label put on us by the Head Office and the simmer's office and all the offices that make up that trump-esque like tower they sit in and look down up on. Truth be known they just are scared of actually putting up a banner created by infinitempg that has our players and our colors on it because they don't want to face their true feelings about how much they'd like that.
7) Next year
We have been eliminated from playoff contention this year and had to sit on the sidelines and watch the playoffs because obviously Iam Esselman sucks as a GM as does Tom Ford MC Hammer, truly bad at their jobs. Well first reason we'll be in the playoffs this next season or the season after that is because we're shedding Marquise Brown. Kind of a bad contract with no mutual or team options so we could get out of it, Chicago decided they'd use him and we'd get Torenson. Sounds good to me. Esselman has probably the worst scouting department in the entire NSFL based on guys I've seen him personally draft and That alone has me pretty worried, but then I look at the fact it's a /r/nfl draft and has like 6000 draftees and figure he could spit in any general direction while it being pitch black and a 35 mile per hour cross breeze, just a saying we like to say in some part of the world, and still be able to find a handful of useful players so really even if he sucks at his job I'm sure we'll be able to come out on the other end and still be competitive enough to make the playoffs.
8) Draft Focus
Obviously our biggest need is cornerback because did you see this dude Emondov Emoji this last season? He pretty much sucks. Shit, that's me. Yeah I sucked this past season. Heck, our rookie, Julian 'Big Dick' McMorris outperformed me like two fold. Honestly best thing for us would probably draft another awesome rookie to take my spot so I could stop sucking and change positions to somewhere I'd suck less....not sure what that'd be, maybe water boy. Aside from that though probably defensive line. We traded away our best defensive line player in Luke Smyles during the year and aside from that we have terrible players there. We did have an agreement with Curtis Saul, but dude is a flake and a terrible person in general as well and backed out of our deal because no spine syndrome, truly sorry for his ailment. Obviously we'll be looking to possibly grab a future quarterback, haven't really looked at the guys in the draft to know if there's even anyone at any of these positions, but just spitballing here. Another area of concern that we might want to address is offensive line as well. We need some beefy boys that know how to handle opposing defenses, I'll say that we've been lacking true beef for a while
Hawks Destroy Butchers!
Simply put this game was never close. The Hawks jumped out to a 26 point lead before the Butchers even put any points on the board, which was a field goal. They'd immediately follow that up with another field goal to get 6 points and cut the lead to 20, but they'd fail to add to their toal and end up losing by 36 points despite Corvo Havran throwing 2 picks.
Otters win nail biter!
In their annual playoff matchup, the Orange County Otters faced off against the San Jose Sabercats at home. Rookie quarterback Franklin Armstrong looked exactly like a rookie, barely throwing for over 200 yards and having a ton of passes sail on him. Apollo Reed, however, took control on the ground and ran all over San Jose's defense. Christ was particularly ineffective as he didn't do much running and he really didn't control the game passing either. All in all the game wasn't quite as close as the score indicated, but still a good game.
Wraiths Bounced Two Years in a Row!
After destroying the Butchers, the Hawks found themselves on the road in Yellowknife, a fairly hard place to win a game. Cooter Bigsby was dazzling as he threw all over the Hawks' terrible secondary especially Walt Green. Corvo Havran was staying toe for toe with Bigsby though and where he didn't match Cooter's yards, Havran found the endzone three times to his one. In the end though it'd come down to the kicking game and with a chance to tie the game in the fourth quarter, rookie kicker Kicky Bobby missed a chip shot.
No Repeat for Arizona!
With a bye week, Arizona was feeling pretty confident headed into their matchup with Orange County, so much so that Leighton Lee said he'd retire if they lost (he didn't as of yet which isn't surprising coming from him). As the game opened though, the Otters punched the Outlaws square in the face as early on Dan Schneider would return a punt 74 yards for a touchdown. That'd set the pace and Orange County would roll, tacking on 10 more points in the first quarter. From there both teams would exchange blows, but Arizona simply could never make enough stops to get the upper hand.
Ottes Add Another One!
For the second year in row the NSFL has found two underdog teams in the Ultimus, although it's hard to consider the Hawks & Otters underdogs. Nevertheless this was a game that had everything you could ask for in an Ultimus, close games, players making plays, basically it checked all the boxes. Otters won.
6) Our Time
I mean how could it not be our time to win the Ultimus this year? Oh you want to try and argue that it's because we're not actually in the playoffs? Well yeah because obviously all the other teams are scared to play us and have bribed the corrupt entity that is the Head Office of the NSFL in order to bar us from entering these tournament games and making us be like Rudolph sitting on the sidelines just watching as all the other teams be playing when deep down inside we know we got that shiny red nose thing that old man Dwyer thinks is a disease or something so that's part of his reasoning from not letting us play in these playoffs. I mean it surely can't have to do with our record and the fact that we only won like 5 games all year long as that's just another fascist label put on us by the Head Office and the simmer's office and all the offices that make up that trump-esque like tower they sit in and look down up on. Truth be known they just are scared of actually putting up a banner created by infinitempg that has our players and our colors on it because they don't want to face their true feelings about how much they'd like that.
7) Next year
We have been eliminated from playoff contention this year and had to sit on the sidelines and watch the playoffs because obviously Iam Esselman sucks as a GM as does Tom Ford MC Hammer, truly bad at their jobs. Well first reason we'll be in the playoffs this next season or the season after that is because we're shedding Marquise Brown. Kind of a bad contract with no mutual or team options so we could get out of it, Chicago decided they'd use him and we'd get Torenson. Sounds good to me. Esselman has probably the worst scouting department in the entire NSFL based on guys I've seen him personally draft and That alone has me pretty worried, but then I look at the fact it's a /r/nfl draft and has like 6000 draftees and figure he could spit in any general direction while it being pitch black and a 35 mile per hour cross breeze, just a saying we like to say in some part of the world, and still be able to find a handful of useful players so really even if he sucks at his job I'm sure we'll be able to come out on the other end and still be competitive enough to make the playoffs.
8) Draft Focus
Obviously our biggest need is cornerback because did you see this dude Emondov Emoji this last season? He pretty much sucks. Shit, that's me. Yeah I sucked this past season. Heck, our rookie, Julian 'Big Dick' McMorris outperformed me like two fold. Honestly best thing for us would probably draft another awesome rookie to take my spot so I could stop sucking and change positions to somewhere I'd suck less....not sure what that'd be, maybe water boy. Aside from that though probably defensive line. We traded away our best defensive line player in Luke Smyles during the year and aside from that we have terrible players there. We did have an agreement with Curtis Saul, but dude is a flake and a terrible person in general as well and backed out of our deal because no spine syndrome, truly sorry for his ailment. Obviously we'll be looking to possibly grab a future quarterback, haven't really looked at the guys in the draft to know if there's even anyone at any of these positions, but just spitballing here. Another area of concern that we might want to address is offensive line as well. We need some beefy boys that know how to handle opposing defenses, I'll say that we've been lacking true beef for a while
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