1) Playoff Predictions, Reviews:
A review of the Ultimus:
Is anyone even a little bit surprised? Like ya, Yellowknife has the better team, wears the freshest clothes, and hangs out with the hottest dudes, but can we really pretend like we’re surprised? Of course the Otters won it again. Orange County could straight up decline to field a team in the Ultimus and still come out on top. Meanwhile Yellowknife could bring in literally every single free agent on the market and still find a way to lose a playoff game. I have never seen a team so categorically better than every other team in the league struggle the way Yellowknife does. It’s like they watched the S14 Marshals and decided they could do better. I love my boys in Yellowknife, but of course the Otters would win the 4000th Ultimus, which is super impressive given that it’s only been 18 seasons. Back in S16 (maybe? I don’t remember and I’m on an airplane so can’t check) the Otters lost a super high percentage playoff game and (almost) the whole team was fine moving on. I didn’t realize why they could move past it do easily at the time, but it’s because they know they’re just gonna win the following season, or at the very least, the season after that.
10) Rivalries
If I’m being honest, being on this aforementioned airplane unable to look up stats hinders my ability to write these. I mean no ill will towards OCO, but they’re way too easy to write hit pieces about. Orange County is overrated and big mean. They come trouncing in with talks of “oh no this is a rebuilding year for us” and win the whole ass thing. Orange County is the kid the finishes a test half an hour early, tells all their friends about how poorly they did, and ends up getting a 98%. I don’t know if it’s Spec or just the sim, but for some reason OCO is too big to fail in this league. The rest of us have to scrounge for scraps while they sit atop their ivory towers looking down upon us, surrounded by trophy upon trophy. I’ve done the testing. They can’t possibly be THIS good every time. And yet, I’m always disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, they’re a very solid team, but like, NOLA are favourites in home games against them, and we didn’t even make playoffs. Also, they hurt my man Maj way back in the day and that blood feud will never go away. They can’t keep getting away with it.
17) Robbed
In a stark change to what we saw in this league even as recently as 2 seasons ago, the ASFC is the much stronger conference. That also means that it’s much harder to make the playoffs, since we had 3 legitimate contenders who could’ve placed 2nd and 3rd. NOLA was one of those, but because the sim gods hate NOLA almost as much as [REDACTED], we ended up with a 5-8 record and finishing outside the playoffs. Now, I could go down the rabbit hole of saying we lost 2 games we were strong favourites, one where we slightly had the edge, and a coin flip game. But blaming the sim, while comforting, doesn’t get me anywhere. The fact of the matter is that there’s one person to blame for NOLA’s lack of success this season. Forrest Gump. This bastard can’t be in two places at once no matter how fast he goes so we can’t run a backfield by committee, we’re instead stuck with this dumb idiot carrying the ball pretty much any time we have to run. That is way too much focus on a talentless hack, and that’s the reason NOLA was robbed from making this year’s playoffs. If only there was some possible free agent running back on the market.
19) OL Appreciation
Technically speaking only 1 player OL actually made in into the playoffs this season, Edmond Beaver-Dantes of the Austin Copperheads. Beaver has been the left tackle of the long sneks since he was called up, and has been doing a damn good job representing the big boys in the trenches. In his playoff debut, Edmond stood firm, not allowing anyone to sack his quarterback Easton Cole on any of his 54 drop backs. In addition, he planted the opposing defender on the ground a few times with 4 pancake blocks. Regrettably, the rest of the line wasn’t as admirable, as Cole was sacked 4 times on the day. One person I also want to highlight who isn’t strictly offensive line is Peter Larson. Last on his team in receiving yards, but #1 in cakes with 5 and not allowing anyone past him for a sack. If more people on Austin played as well as their proud blockers, perhaps they could’ve come out of this game as the victors. For too long the league has allowed bots to take the jobs of real men, and this playoff game is a perfect illustration of why that is such a mistake. Beaver was out there stomping on fools, but you need a full unit of a line to really be successful. Lining up next to bots is uninspiring, and you’ll never have the chemistry with them that you need to have on the OL.
A review of the Ultimus:
Is anyone even a little bit surprised? Like ya, Yellowknife has the better team, wears the freshest clothes, and hangs out with the hottest dudes, but can we really pretend like we’re surprised? Of course the Otters won it again. Orange County could straight up decline to field a team in the Ultimus and still come out on top. Meanwhile Yellowknife could bring in literally every single free agent on the market and still find a way to lose a playoff game. I have never seen a team so categorically better than every other team in the league struggle the way Yellowknife does. It’s like they watched the S14 Marshals and decided they could do better. I love my boys in Yellowknife, but of course the Otters would win the 4000th Ultimus, which is super impressive given that it’s only been 18 seasons. Back in S16 (maybe? I don’t remember and I’m on an airplane so can’t check) the Otters lost a super high percentage playoff game and (almost) the whole team was fine moving on. I didn’t realize why they could move past it do easily at the time, but it’s because they know they’re just gonna win the following season, or at the very least, the season after that.
10) Rivalries
If I’m being honest, being on this aforementioned airplane unable to look up stats hinders my ability to write these. I mean no ill will towards OCO, but they’re way too easy to write hit pieces about. Orange County is overrated and big mean. They come trouncing in with talks of “oh no this is a rebuilding year for us” and win the whole ass thing. Orange County is the kid the finishes a test half an hour early, tells all their friends about how poorly they did, and ends up getting a 98%. I don’t know if it’s Spec or just the sim, but for some reason OCO is too big to fail in this league. The rest of us have to scrounge for scraps while they sit atop their ivory towers looking down upon us, surrounded by trophy upon trophy. I’ve done the testing. They can’t possibly be THIS good every time. And yet, I’m always disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, they’re a very solid team, but like, NOLA are favourites in home games against them, and we didn’t even make playoffs. Also, they hurt my man Maj way back in the day and that blood feud will never go away. They can’t keep getting away with it.
17) Robbed
In a stark change to what we saw in this league even as recently as 2 seasons ago, the ASFC is the much stronger conference. That also means that it’s much harder to make the playoffs, since we had 3 legitimate contenders who could’ve placed 2nd and 3rd. NOLA was one of those, but because the sim gods hate NOLA almost as much as [REDACTED], we ended up with a 5-8 record and finishing outside the playoffs. Now, I could go down the rabbit hole of saying we lost 2 games we were strong favourites, one where we slightly had the edge, and a coin flip game. But blaming the sim, while comforting, doesn’t get me anywhere. The fact of the matter is that there’s one person to blame for NOLA’s lack of success this season. Forrest Gump. This bastard can’t be in two places at once no matter how fast he goes so we can’t run a backfield by committee, we’re instead stuck with this dumb idiot carrying the ball pretty much any time we have to run. That is way too much focus on a talentless hack, and that’s the reason NOLA was robbed from making this year’s playoffs. If only there was some possible free agent running back on the market.
19) OL Appreciation
Technically speaking only 1 player OL actually made in into the playoffs this season, Edmond Beaver-Dantes of the Austin Copperheads. Beaver has been the left tackle of the long sneks since he was called up, and has been doing a damn good job representing the big boys in the trenches. In his playoff debut, Edmond stood firm, not allowing anyone to sack his quarterback Easton Cole on any of his 54 drop backs. In addition, he planted the opposing defender on the ground a few times with 4 pancake blocks. Regrettably, the rest of the line wasn’t as admirable, as Cole was sacked 4 times on the day. One person I also want to highlight who isn’t strictly offensive line is Peter Larson. Last on his team in receiving yards, but #1 in cakes with 5 and not allowing anyone past him for a sack. If more people on Austin played as well as their proud blockers, perhaps they could’ve come out of this game as the victors. For too long the league has allowed bots to take the jobs of real men, and this playoff game is a perfect illustration of why that is such a mistake. Beaver was out there stomping on fools, but you need a full unit of a line to really be successful. Lining up next to bots is uninspiring, and you’ll never have the chemistry with them that you need to have on the OL.
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION] Tackles: 106
[OPTION] TFLs: 7
[OPTION] FF/FR: 1/1
[OPTION] Sacks: 3
[OPTION] Interceptions: 3
[OPTION] Pass Deflections: 9
[OPTION]DSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION] Tackles: 106
[OPTION] TFLs: 7
[OPTION] FF/FR: 1/1
[OPTION] Sacks: 3
[OPTION] Interceptions: 3
[OPTION] Pass Deflections: 9
[OPTION] Touchdowns: 1
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION] Tackles: 25
[OPTION] TFLs: 0
[OPTION] FF/FR: 1/0
[OPTION] Sacks: 3
[OPTION] Interceptions: 0
[OPTION] Pass Deflections: 2
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION] Tackles: 25
[OPTION] TFLs: 0
[OPTION] FF/FR: 1/0
[OPTION] Sacks: 3
[OPTION] Interceptions: 0
[OPTION] Pass Deflections: 2
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]ISFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION] Tackles: 78
[OPTION] TFLs: 5
[OPTION] FF/FR: 1/2
[OPTION] Sacks: 8
[OPTION] Interceptions: 1
[OPTION] Pass Deflections: 8
[OPTION] Touchdowns: 0
[OPTION]ISFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION] Tackles: 78
[OPTION] TFLs: 5
[OPTION] FF/FR: 1/2
[OPTION] Sacks: 8
[OPTION] Interceptions: 1
[OPTION] Pass Deflections: 8
[OPTION] Touchdowns: 0
[OPTION] Receptions: 419
[OPTION] Receiving Yards: 3681
[OPTION] Receiving Touchdowns: 25
[OPTION] Kick Return Yards: 5367
[OPTION] Kick Return TDs: 1
[OPTION] Punt Return Yards: 1651
[OPTION] Punt Return TDs: 5
[OPTION] Pancakes: 242
[OPTION] Kick Return TDs: 1
[OPTION] Punt Return Yards: 1651
[OPTION] Punt Return TDs: 5
[OPTION] Pancakes: 242
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]ISFL Postseason Stats
[OPTION] Rushing Yards: 926
[OPTION] Yards per Carry: 4.56
[OPTION] Rushing Touchdowns: 7
[OPTION] Receptions: 44
[OPTION] Receiving Yards: 408
[OPTION] Receiving Touchdowns: 4
[OPTION] Kick Return Yards: 653
[OPTION] Kick Return TDs: 0
[OPTION] Punt Return Yards: 192
[OPTION] Punt Return TDs: 0
[OPTION] Pancakes: 28
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION] S15 DSFL RBotY
[OPTION] S15 DSFL MVP
[OPTION] S16 Pro Bowler (RB)
[OPTION] S17 Pro Bowler (RB)
[OPTION] S18 RBotY
[OPTION] S18 PERotY
[OPTION] S18 OPotY
[OPTION]ISFL Postseason Stats
[OPTION] Rushing Yards: 926
[OPTION] Yards per Carry: 4.56
[OPTION] Rushing Touchdowns: 7
[OPTION] Receptions: 44
[OPTION] Receiving Yards: 408
[OPTION] Receiving Touchdowns: 4
[OPTION] Kick Return Yards: 653
[OPTION] Kick Return TDs: 0
[OPTION] Punt Return Yards: 192
[OPTION] Punt Return TDs: 0
[OPTION] Pancakes: 28
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION] S15 DSFL RBotY
[OPTION] S15 DSFL MVP
[OPTION] S16 Pro Bowler (RB)
[OPTION] S17 Pro Bowler (RB)
[OPTION] S18 RBotY
[OPTION] S18 PERotY
[OPTION] S18 OPotY
[OPTION] S18 Pro Bowler (RB)
[OPTION] S19 Pro Bowler (RB & Returner)
[OPTION] S20 Pro Bowler (RB & Returner)
[OPTION] S21 Pro Bowler (OFlex & Returner)
[OPTION] S21 Ultimus Champion
[OPTION] S21 Ultimus MVP
[OPTION] S22 Pro Bowler (RB & Returner)
[OPTION] Most Rushing TDs in a DSFL season (S15, 20)
[OPTION] 3rd Most Rushing TDs in a DSFL season (S14, 18)
[OPTION] 3rd Most Rushing TDs in a DSFL season (S14, 18)
[OPTION] 5th Most Career Rushing Yards
[OPTION] 9th Most Career Rushing TDs
[OPTION] 7th Most Career Scrimmage Yards
[OPTION] 8th Most Career Scrimmage TDs
[OPTION] 5th Most Career Punt Return TDs
[OPTION] 5th Most Career All-Purpose Yards
[OPTION] 8th Most Career All-Purpose TDs
[OPTION] 4th Most Career Postseason Rushing Yards
[OPTION] 2nd Most Career Postseason Rushing TDs
[OPTION] 2nd Most Career Postseason Scrimmage Yards
[OPTION] 2nd Most Career Postseason Scrimmage TDs
[OPTION] 2nd Most Career Postseason Scrimmage TDs
[OPTION] 10th Most Career Postseason Kick Return Yards
[OPTION] 7th Most Career Postseason Punt Return Yards
[OPTION] 2nd Most Career Postseason All-Purpose Yards
[OPTION] 2nd Most Career Postseason All-Purpose TDs
[OPTION] 2nd Most Career Postseason All-Purpose TDs