2. Okay so a holiday ultimus is what the sport of football was made for. Lets be honest, who wants to hang out with family on the holidays, Id much rather be sitting on my couch watching a good bowl game or something along those lines. So, I think that in honor of bowl season, we change the title games for our league to always take place in the Bahamas. For those of you who don’t know the Bahamas bowl might be the best thing to ever happen to sports. So this bowl game, on top of being played in a great place to visit when its cold the locals here don’t give a flying fuck. You can just go in, no tickets or just paper that looks like a ticket. Beer? Ya just go outside, buy a bag of 12 beers for $12 and go back in since they don’t really check tickets. Players drinking on the sidelines? Yup that happens too. This would be a great place for the league to be in next holiday season and the DSFL playoffs should for sure end here. Let the young guns fight it out in paradise while the olds do some Christmas thing instead.
5. Okay Minnesota is coming off one of the greatest seasons in team history. With a title coming to the Twin Cities, there is already talk of players possibly moving out and the team needing to find a way to fill these holes. One of the major holes that they are hearing talks of needing a new player at is kicker. The banana man was one of the most clutch players in the DSFL this year in his rookie season and the team is likely preparing for him to not be around next season as there are a number of teams in the top flight looking to replace and aging or retiring player at that spot. This will be a big spot for them to fill. With one of the highest FG percentages and a perfect record from 20 yds out there is the possibility that there are a number of points left on the field next season. This will be a large hurdle to overcome and the team is hoping that they will be able to punch it in for 6 a lot more next year as relying on the kicker to come in late in the game and take the lead, might not be a possibility if the replacement is a bit shaky.
6. Okay put me in charge of a bot team and I will make them an immediate contender by starting by drafting only kickers and linemen. As a kicker I can tell you that we are the most underappreciated players in the league. Lets start out just by looking at the league infrastructure and caps, kickers are people too and let me tell you, some of us can run and juke anyone on the field. Now the line is the best position to build a team around after the kickers so lets start there next. Not only does this help you run the damn ball better (we can uses a kicker at RB) but they also help build a strong overall team. You know what the best part of football is? Jokes with the boys and these jolly guys will help out with that more than another position on the field. Additionally our weight room record board will be much better suited with a bunch of big boys back there rather than a group of skinny dudes flexing their small shit in the mirrors. We need to build a strong team base and kickers and linemen are the way to go with that. This is how I would build a team from the ground up. Either this or just make better bots.
8. Scouting Report on the number one kicker in the draft, Silver Banana. Okay so this guy is the definition of a stud kicker. He might not have the biggest of legs, making no kicks longer than 50 yards, but once you get into the red area this guy will almost guarantee you get some points out of that drive (don’t turn the damn ball over, ball security is job security). Now what you never want is a 6 point drive, and that is where the Banana man thrives, with a perfect rate from 20 yards out. One thing that the scouts have noticed is how calm cool and collected he is, making all of his kicks, even ones late in each playoff game to win it for the Greyducks. The one thing scouts worry about is the ability for this guy to show up to work, having missed training in each of his first weeks of the season. In his mind “why train when you are already better than everyone else?” and that is an attitude that might scare away a few teams. With that said, drafting silver banana and paying him can guarantee that you will have a franchise kicker for the next few years.
5. Okay Minnesota is coming off one of the greatest seasons in team history. With a title coming to the Twin Cities, there is already talk of players possibly moving out and the team needing to find a way to fill these holes. One of the major holes that they are hearing talks of needing a new player at is kicker. The banana man was one of the most clutch players in the DSFL this year in his rookie season and the team is likely preparing for him to not be around next season as there are a number of teams in the top flight looking to replace and aging or retiring player at that spot. This will be a big spot for them to fill. With one of the highest FG percentages and a perfect record from 20 yds out there is the possibility that there are a number of points left on the field next season. This will be a large hurdle to overcome and the team is hoping that they will be able to punch it in for 6 a lot more next year as relying on the kicker to come in late in the game and take the lead, might not be a possibility if the replacement is a bit shaky.
6. Okay put me in charge of a bot team and I will make them an immediate contender by starting by drafting only kickers and linemen. As a kicker I can tell you that we are the most underappreciated players in the league. Lets start out just by looking at the league infrastructure and caps, kickers are people too and let me tell you, some of us can run and juke anyone on the field. Now the line is the best position to build a team around after the kickers so lets start there next. Not only does this help you run the damn ball better (we can uses a kicker at RB) but they also help build a strong overall team. You know what the best part of football is? Jokes with the boys and these jolly guys will help out with that more than another position on the field. Additionally our weight room record board will be much better suited with a bunch of big boys back there rather than a group of skinny dudes flexing their small shit in the mirrors. We need to build a strong team base and kickers and linemen are the way to go with that. This is how I would build a team from the ground up. Either this or just make better bots.
8. Scouting Report on the number one kicker in the draft, Silver Banana. Okay so this guy is the definition of a stud kicker. He might not have the biggest of legs, making no kicks longer than 50 yards, but once you get into the red area this guy will almost guarantee you get some points out of that drive (don’t turn the damn ball over, ball security is job security). Now what you never want is a 6 point drive, and that is where the Banana man thrives, with a perfect rate from 20 yards out. One thing that the scouts have noticed is how calm cool and collected he is, making all of his kicks, even ones late in each playoff game to win it for the Greyducks. The one thing scouts worry about is the ability for this guy to show up to work, having missed training in each of his first weeks of the season. In his mind “why train when you are already better than everyone else?” and that is an attitude that might scare away a few teams. With that said, drafting silver banana and paying him can guarantee that you will have a franchise kicker for the next few years.