This does not at all seem like a job that I would volunteer for so I'm assuming the league is paying me for this (just getting into the proper mindset). With that assumption in mind and now having some money to treat this hypothetical rookie right, I'd start out with showing them around the league's training facilities. I would of course throw in the caveat that despite the league having fairly high salaries for this level of play, the league also charges astronomical prices for the use of their facilities while forbidding any workouts elsewhere. It's a little creepy that they are able to do that so effectively but thus is the overwhelming reach of the HO members of the league. Thanks to the money from the league I could look super magnanimous in purchasing a first training for the new guy - they don't have to know that the first one's free! Anyways, with that stuff out of the way I'd pull up our beautiful index to start showing off mainly my own stats. If they don't want to look at my sack totals from last season and stare at them for several hours, that sucks for them! At this point this poor sap is probably sick of me and the league, so to try and fix things I'd bring them to the league's secret all-you-can-eat buffet, telling them that it is free for league members. Just kidding, it's not free, enjoy paying the bill rook.
![[Image: reposte.png?width=1050&height=534]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/716823545174425650/741340235748868157/reposte.png?width=1050&height=534)
![[Image: 2gqV8ts.png]](https://i.imgur.com/2gqV8ts.png)