I was drafted by the Portland Pythons. At first, my fears grew. Would these be the same Pythons from last season? The dumpster fire in which they were? But then the draft progressed further. And further. And there was one key element that could be seen. Speed. Portland has speed. Between myself, Zamir, Oles, AND Dawkins. We are most likely the fastest rookie secondary in the league and we’re only going up from there. We gave ourselves the nickname “Legion of Zoom” to reflect how we will shutdown the opposition. Picks for days, passes broken up. We’ll cover up anyone with ease. To score on us you’ll have to run the ball down our throats, and even then that will be a tough task as… You guessed it! We have elite run stoppers up on that defensive line. We’re here to rebuild. Reclaim and reconquer our way to the Ultimini. Our journey starts through Myrtle Beach, where we’ll show them how to actually play defense. Because yaknow, they didn’t fare too well defensively in their last game. And now we talk about the offense. Bet you can’t guess what makes our offense elite? You probably guessed speed. And you’d be right. Our starting running back alone has lightning fast legs that will absolutely punish anyone who tries him. And our receivers are burners as well. Good luck against the Pythons. You’re going to need it.
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