Tier 2
10) History is not always kind to the losers. Tell the story of a team who you view as an all-time great but who did not win the title game. Why was that team so dominant? What were the major focal points of their offense and defense, and who were the star players? What makes them so special? What was the reason that they ultimately fell short of immortal greatness?
Though maybe incredibly and irredeemably biased, the Season 22 Yellowknife Wraiths fall squarely into that category for me. Going 11-2, Yellowknife had a dominant romp not just through their own NSFC, where they had a 9-1 record, but also going 2-1 against the AFC. Further, Yellowknife put up dominant performances both at home sporting a 6-1 record, and on the road, going 5-1. This lead to a tremendous and league leading winning percentage of 85%, scoring more points than any other team with 406 points for and also locking it down on the defensive end by forcing only 196 points against, a league low. Coming off a 5 win streak going into the playoffs, it looked like Yellowknife was going to smash through the Yeti on their way to a title, and the narrative around Virtanen’s last season and one of Cooter Bigsby’s final shots at a ring were strong. This was on top of Acura Skyline’s offensive rookie of the year campaign, Nate Swift’s Wide Reciever of the Year campaign, Cooter’s own Quarterback of the Year campaign, and Matthias Hanyadi’s Running back of the year campaign, and MVP campaign on top of it. Yellowknife was a sack machine, terrorizing opposing quarterbacks and shattering Offensive Lines across the league into toothpicks and kindling. However, despite enormous offensive contributions from bell cow running back Matthias Hanyadi, the Wraiths ended up getting knocked out of the playoffs in a one point loss. The Colorado Yeti, let by a 79 Speed anticompetitive cheat code who I refuse to name, played a generally not amazing game, but unfortunately faced a Wraiths team that was far from on point. The Wraiths were gutted, crying in the locker room, and spending their summers alternating between the weight room and the therapists office. Many Wraiths players had already faced 4 or more tragic Ultimus losses, so though it hurt, it was still a familiar pain. Tragic is the only way to describe it. Though they were unable to close the door and secure the ring, the Wraiths came back in this very Season 23. They were motivated by the heartbreaking and traumatizing loss to hit the weight room, up their cardio programs, do a whole damn lot of steroids, and watch film (specifically Top Gun on 2x speed, because it is academically proven to boost your testosterone levels). It worked, and Yellowknife secured its destiny, letting Cooter ride off into the sunset as Hanyadi secured an MVP.
410 words.
Tier 3
22) Imagine that the league’s Pro Bowl included a skills competition similar to the NFL. What sorts of games could you see being implemented? Which players do you think would perform the best in ultimate frisbee, dodgeball, or other games? Which conference would come out on top?
Man, a Pro Bowl skills competition in the ISFL would be great, and beyond things like ultimate frisbee and dodgeball there are some really interesting options to showcase what players can do. The obvious are a karaoke competition, where I am sure the Chicago Butchers would come out as champions because they are great at making noise. I would also really enjoy seeing some darts, cornhole, and lawn bowling, but those probably would not bring the TV viewer ratings that would justify the event in the first place. You have to give the people what they want, and what they want is a tasteful yet risqué burlesque show, where professional exotic dancers score players based on their rhythm, choreography, attitude, and bulges. Yellowknife would win this competition without a doubt because they have not one, but two, different players who for some reason look exactly like Arnold Schwarzenegger, the king of both attitude and bulges. Also, Bender B Rodgriguez is on the team, and he really knows how to work that shiny metal ass. Drinking games mixed with feats of strength would also be great to watch, like making players run a beer mile or doing some sort of biathlon chaos where they drink and then they shoot. No matter what, it would be a barrel of fun.
218 words.
24) The league is prone to change. Reflect on a past change in either the ISFL or DSFL that significantly impacted something - be it a rules change, an expansion or contraction, or even a complete rebranding. What were the effects of this change, and how has it shaken the status quo?
Obviously, the r/NFL recruiting classes every few seasons have an enormous impact on the league, leading to brand new expansion franchises and dramatic shifts in team expectations due to the expansion draft. Most recently, adding the London Royals and Dallas Birddogs to the DSFL, and adding the Sarasota Sailfish and the Honolulu Hahahahalaha (spelling may be incorrect) to the ISFL have been a big difference maker to both leagues. In the ISFL, it has added new games increasing the season from 13 to 16, which down the road could result in career records being smashed, and in the DSFL it added another place for young and upcoming players to show off what they have got in the hopes of turning ISFL scout’s heads. Another major change, that has been a long time coming yet pretty significant, is the recent shift from NSFL to DSFL. This means, one, that it will be easier to find because from an SEO perspective when I search NSFL I get a lot of, well, NSFL links, and two, that people won’t be put off because they make an incorrect assumption based on the leagues’ name. I am extremely excited to see what comes next, because all sorts of fun developments (like making award voter ballots public) are constantly mixing things up in new ways.
219 words.
10) History is not always kind to the losers. Tell the story of a team who you view as an all-time great but who did not win the title game. Why was that team so dominant? What were the major focal points of their offense and defense, and who were the star players? What makes them so special? What was the reason that they ultimately fell short of immortal greatness?
Though maybe incredibly and irredeemably biased, the Season 22 Yellowknife Wraiths fall squarely into that category for me. Going 11-2, Yellowknife had a dominant romp not just through their own NSFC, where they had a 9-1 record, but also going 2-1 against the AFC. Further, Yellowknife put up dominant performances both at home sporting a 6-1 record, and on the road, going 5-1. This lead to a tremendous and league leading winning percentage of 85%, scoring more points than any other team with 406 points for and also locking it down on the defensive end by forcing only 196 points against, a league low. Coming off a 5 win streak going into the playoffs, it looked like Yellowknife was going to smash through the Yeti on their way to a title, and the narrative around Virtanen’s last season and one of Cooter Bigsby’s final shots at a ring were strong. This was on top of Acura Skyline’s offensive rookie of the year campaign, Nate Swift’s Wide Reciever of the Year campaign, Cooter’s own Quarterback of the Year campaign, and Matthias Hanyadi’s Running back of the year campaign, and MVP campaign on top of it. Yellowknife was a sack machine, terrorizing opposing quarterbacks and shattering Offensive Lines across the league into toothpicks and kindling. However, despite enormous offensive contributions from bell cow running back Matthias Hanyadi, the Wraiths ended up getting knocked out of the playoffs in a one point loss. The Colorado Yeti, let by a 79 Speed anticompetitive cheat code who I refuse to name, played a generally not amazing game, but unfortunately faced a Wraiths team that was far from on point. The Wraiths were gutted, crying in the locker room, and spending their summers alternating between the weight room and the therapists office. Many Wraiths players had already faced 4 or more tragic Ultimus losses, so though it hurt, it was still a familiar pain. Tragic is the only way to describe it. Though they were unable to close the door and secure the ring, the Wraiths came back in this very Season 23. They were motivated by the heartbreaking and traumatizing loss to hit the weight room, up their cardio programs, do a whole damn lot of steroids, and watch film (specifically Top Gun on 2x speed, because it is academically proven to boost your testosterone levels). It worked, and Yellowknife secured its destiny, letting Cooter ride off into the sunset as Hanyadi secured an MVP.
410 words.
Tier 3
22) Imagine that the league’s Pro Bowl included a skills competition similar to the NFL. What sorts of games could you see being implemented? Which players do you think would perform the best in ultimate frisbee, dodgeball, or other games? Which conference would come out on top?
Man, a Pro Bowl skills competition in the ISFL would be great, and beyond things like ultimate frisbee and dodgeball there are some really interesting options to showcase what players can do. The obvious are a karaoke competition, where I am sure the Chicago Butchers would come out as champions because they are great at making noise. I would also really enjoy seeing some darts, cornhole, and lawn bowling, but those probably would not bring the TV viewer ratings that would justify the event in the first place. You have to give the people what they want, and what they want is a tasteful yet risqué burlesque show, where professional exotic dancers score players based on their rhythm, choreography, attitude, and bulges. Yellowknife would win this competition without a doubt because they have not one, but two, different players who for some reason look exactly like Arnold Schwarzenegger, the king of both attitude and bulges. Also, Bender B Rodgriguez is on the team, and he really knows how to work that shiny metal ass. Drinking games mixed with feats of strength would also be great to watch, like making players run a beer mile or doing some sort of biathlon chaos where they drink and then they shoot. No matter what, it would be a barrel of fun.
218 words.
24) The league is prone to change. Reflect on a past change in either the ISFL or DSFL that significantly impacted something - be it a rules change, an expansion or contraction, or even a complete rebranding. What were the effects of this change, and how has it shaken the status quo?
Obviously, the r/NFL recruiting classes every few seasons have an enormous impact on the league, leading to brand new expansion franchises and dramatic shifts in team expectations due to the expansion draft. Most recently, adding the London Royals and Dallas Birddogs to the DSFL, and adding the Sarasota Sailfish and the Honolulu Hahahahalaha (spelling may be incorrect) to the ISFL have been a big difference maker to both leagues. In the ISFL, it has added new games increasing the season from 13 to 16, which down the road could result in career records being smashed, and in the DSFL it added another place for young and upcoming players to show off what they have got in the hopes of turning ISFL scout’s heads. Another major change, that has been a long time coming yet pretty significant, is the recent shift from NSFL to DSFL. This means, one, that it will be easier to find because from an SEO perspective when I search NSFL I get a lot of, well, NSFL links, and two, that people won’t be put off because they make an incorrect assumption based on the leagues’ name. I am extremely excited to see what comes next, because all sorts of fun developments (like making award voter ballots public) are constantly mixing things up in new ways.
219 words.