Task (13) - 568 Words - 5 TPE
We all have bad days.
Some people, when experiencing what can be described as a truly garbage day, turn to books and television and whatnot to hopefully distract themselves from whatever may be tormenting them on any given day. Personally, I tend to gravitate towards getting blissfully drunk and surfing my favorite subreddits while struggling to keep the bad thoughts at bay. So, when late July rolled around and things in my personal life started going to complete dog trash, I naturally took to pouring glass after glass of Basil Hayden’s and pulling up the good ‘ol National Football League subreddit. After reading hopeful articles about COVID tests and discouraging comments about popular politics, I came across a post that immediately separated itself from the rest of the usual r/NFL antics. A user had posted an advertisement of sorts for the International Simulation Football League. “Well this sounds weird” I thought, as a bourbon-coated ice cube briefly passed my lips and careened down my throat. I read the body of text accompanying the post, and was still a bit unsure of what the product and endgame was for this “ISFL”. That is, until a user commented stating that it was a bit like Dungeons And Dragons, but for American football. Okay, I really like football, but fantasy football was beginning to get quite stale after years of playing. Okay, I really like Dungeons And Dragons, but I’m not a big fan of Medieval aesthetics and waiting 45 minutes to cast one spell. A healthy combination of the two, though? Sign me right up. I joined the forum, and hopped on the ISFL discord.
Now, I’m normally a shy guy, but I was twelve fingers deep into a bottle of Kentucky bourbon and feeling real social. I hopped into the general chat on the discord, and chatted the night away with some really cool people; at least I think I did. I can’t really remember. The next day, after a gargantuan hangover, I went back onto the forum and watched a couple of youtube videos on how to make a player, update, do the WiKi, and earn TPE. However, I must have missed a couple of steps, because I was still at a cool fifty TPE by the time draft day came around. I had never been in a simulation league before, and I had no idea how the whole process worked. On top of that, things in my personal life took a turn for the worse. Relationships, right? We all have bad days. So, after being drafted in about the 45th round by the Kansas City Coyotes, I unfortunately went IA for the first 6 games or so of the season. I felt lost, hopeless, and unwilling to reach out for help or guidance. It wasn’t until RESouthPaw DM’d me on Discord about my inactive-ness that I realized I was letting down the people who were kind enough to draft me. South sat me down for over an hour and explained pretty much everything I needed to do to make my player a beneficial part of the team, and I am incredibly grateful for that. Since then, I’ve been as active as I can be, and it’s been an absolute blast. I’m still learning the ropes, but I hope to continue my journey into the ISFL and have a shitload of fun along the way.
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Task (11) - 520 Words - 5 TPE
Ah, who doesn’t love a good, juicy scandal. The kind that grips you like a daytime NBC drama, and pulls you deep into a world of speculation and intrigue. No stranger to a good scandal myself, I relish the opportunity to be a passive spectator in the medium, as I can sympathetically feel the crippling anxiety and full-body cringe of being involved in a particularly tumultuous wrangle. Things got just a little too real, however, when I learned my benevolent Kansas City Coyote general managers were the subjects of an intricate and dubious plot.
I awoke one sunny afternoon as I usually do; hungover as fuck and dreading the impending hot sauce heartburn. Now that I was fully active and invested in the league, I rolled over and checked Discord on my phone as usual, looking for what the Brits and Aussies posted while I was passed out between the hours of 5am and 1pm eastern time. Instead of waking up to the top banter I was accustomed to, however, I was greeted by a plethora of messages in the Kansas City locker room of varying degrees of concern and memey-ness. “What in God’s name did I miss?” I thought to myself, as the stench of stale Miller Lite and sadness passed my nostrils. After a cursory scroll up through the chat, it was revealed to me that my current and former general managers were being fined BIG money for what I could only assume was the infraction of the ages. I scrolled up further through the chat, past stale copy pasta and reaction pepe’s, and found the relevant link to a forum post outlining the dastardly deed. Former general managers Butters and Matty, and current general managers Glims and Simo, did a bad, bad thing. At least, I think it was bad, I’ve been in the league for only a little over a month and I still haven’t the slightest fucking clue what’s going on in the culture and hierarchy of the league. Anyways, the post made it sound like it was a bad thing. Apparently, since early in the season, the general managers were using an inactive player in the simulation games over a supposedly active player in the same position.
A simple mistake made by rookie general managers made during a mid-season transition of power? Perhaps. A scandal the likes of which has never been seen in the history of the International Simulation Football League? Most definitely. At least, since I’ve been around, which isn’t very long. Now, I am not quite sure what the precedent for this punishment is as I do not have the time or patience to comb the league history, but from what I understand this was a pretty clear cut violation of league rules. So that begs the question; were the perpetrators aware of their indiscretions? Or did they simply not know the rules? The truth will most likely remain a mystery. One thing is for certain, however:
Butters must be banned from the league. Because from what I’ve been told and what I’ve seen, this literally always happens.
We all have bad days.
Some people, when experiencing what can be described as a truly garbage day, turn to books and television and whatnot to hopefully distract themselves from whatever may be tormenting them on any given day. Personally, I tend to gravitate towards getting blissfully drunk and surfing my favorite subreddits while struggling to keep the bad thoughts at bay. So, when late July rolled around and things in my personal life started going to complete dog trash, I naturally took to pouring glass after glass of Basil Hayden’s and pulling up the good ‘ol National Football League subreddit. After reading hopeful articles about COVID tests and discouraging comments about popular politics, I came across a post that immediately separated itself from the rest of the usual r/NFL antics. A user had posted an advertisement of sorts for the International Simulation Football League. “Well this sounds weird” I thought, as a bourbon-coated ice cube briefly passed my lips and careened down my throat. I read the body of text accompanying the post, and was still a bit unsure of what the product and endgame was for this “ISFL”. That is, until a user commented stating that it was a bit like Dungeons And Dragons, but for American football. Okay, I really like football, but fantasy football was beginning to get quite stale after years of playing. Okay, I really like Dungeons And Dragons, but I’m not a big fan of Medieval aesthetics and waiting 45 minutes to cast one spell. A healthy combination of the two, though? Sign me right up. I joined the forum, and hopped on the ISFL discord.
Now, I’m normally a shy guy, but I was twelve fingers deep into a bottle of Kentucky bourbon and feeling real social. I hopped into the general chat on the discord, and chatted the night away with some really cool people; at least I think I did. I can’t really remember. The next day, after a gargantuan hangover, I went back onto the forum and watched a couple of youtube videos on how to make a player, update, do the WiKi, and earn TPE. However, I must have missed a couple of steps, because I was still at a cool fifty TPE by the time draft day came around. I had never been in a simulation league before, and I had no idea how the whole process worked. On top of that, things in my personal life took a turn for the worse. Relationships, right? We all have bad days. So, after being drafted in about the 45th round by the Kansas City Coyotes, I unfortunately went IA for the first 6 games or so of the season. I felt lost, hopeless, and unwilling to reach out for help or guidance. It wasn’t until RESouthPaw DM’d me on Discord about my inactive-ness that I realized I was letting down the people who were kind enough to draft me. South sat me down for over an hour and explained pretty much everything I needed to do to make my player a beneficial part of the team, and I am incredibly grateful for that. Since then, I’ve been as active as I can be, and it’s been an absolute blast. I’m still learning the ropes, but I hope to continue my journey into the ISFL and have a shitload of fun along the way.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Task (11) - 520 Words - 5 TPE
Ah, who doesn’t love a good, juicy scandal. The kind that grips you like a daytime NBC drama, and pulls you deep into a world of speculation and intrigue. No stranger to a good scandal myself, I relish the opportunity to be a passive spectator in the medium, as I can sympathetically feel the crippling anxiety and full-body cringe of being involved in a particularly tumultuous wrangle. Things got just a little too real, however, when I learned my benevolent Kansas City Coyote general managers were the subjects of an intricate and dubious plot.
I awoke one sunny afternoon as I usually do; hungover as fuck and dreading the impending hot sauce heartburn. Now that I was fully active and invested in the league, I rolled over and checked Discord on my phone as usual, looking for what the Brits and Aussies posted while I was passed out between the hours of 5am and 1pm eastern time. Instead of waking up to the top banter I was accustomed to, however, I was greeted by a plethora of messages in the Kansas City locker room of varying degrees of concern and memey-ness. “What in God’s name did I miss?” I thought to myself, as the stench of stale Miller Lite and sadness passed my nostrils. After a cursory scroll up through the chat, it was revealed to me that my current and former general managers were being fined BIG money for what I could only assume was the infraction of the ages. I scrolled up further through the chat, past stale copy pasta and reaction pepe’s, and found the relevant link to a forum post outlining the dastardly deed. Former general managers Butters and Matty, and current general managers Glims and Simo, did a bad, bad thing. At least, I think it was bad, I’ve been in the league for only a little over a month and I still haven’t the slightest fucking clue what’s going on in the culture and hierarchy of the league. Anyways, the post made it sound like it was a bad thing. Apparently, since early in the season, the general managers were using an inactive player in the simulation games over a supposedly active player in the same position.
A simple mistake made by rookie general managers made during a mid-season transition of power? Perhaps. A scandal the likes of which has never been seen in the history of the International Simulation Football League? Most definitely. At least, since I’ve been around, which isn’t very long. Now, I am not quite sure what the precedent for this punishment is as I do not have the time or patience to comb the league history, but from what I understand this was a pretty clear cut violation of league rules. So that begs the question; were the perpetrators aware of their indiscretions? Or did they simply not know the rules? The truth will most likely remain a mystery. One thing is for certain, however:
Butters must be banned from the league. Because from what I’ve been told and what I’ve seen, this literally always happens.