[Hello! This is 2610 words long and 10% is going to C9Van and 90% to me as agreed upon. It is ready to be graded.]
Recently Jon Forty One had the displeasure in Sim Hockey League with interacting with another cultist he very rarely meets. Mr Thirty. A deranged and sadistic and creepy as fuck looking fish man.
Mr Thirty on the other hand is...Well a gulper eel fish man who now seems to be doing small interview tasks for this lord to help out those who need to do media. So you guessed it. Another cross over episode! The confusion continues! A light green at the head but gradually turns pitch black skin. Think one piece fish men type fish man. Like the last interview with Mr Thirty had explained for those who did not know: The most noticeable thing about him is his big fuck off jaw as he is a gulper eel and the god damn cheshire cat has nothing on him it is that big. He is a little bit different as he has a direct link to the lord and will do whatever his god wants him to do. Not being based off sports at all is a little weird but it helps the cult be stronger. This might get a little weird due to conflicting personalities.
That is probably his biggest strength to. Raw power. I know in this sim engine we can have up to 100 strength and that would be really strong considering how strong 100 actually is but for comparison that would be like the fish man having a strength score of 1000. He is bullshit strong. But it comes with a huge weakness of being stupidly slow. Like, borderline the slowest thing going in his little story he is involved in. Not that speed is as important as it is in this sim engine or the vast majority of them but it he would have like, 20 speed? He also kind of talks weird but you will see that soon.
Probably not much to go off of but this is a rather weird and unique thing I am doing to set it up. The only other thing I can say is the style I write in both of these is completely different so I will be doing the basic bitch approach and go with how I usually do International Simulation Football League's style cause it is easier and less work for my brain to do. Usually I write in a better style but this is not really much short of a shit piece of media for both with low effort focus of getting both into a better quality of life situation. I have no idea how this will go so let us find out. (And please do not read this it will not be good. Maybe funny? But not good.)
This is mainly just another crossover episode I am doing and this will be weird as fuck since Mr Thirty is not very good with non cultists and doesn’t get social norms.
Mr Thirty: Glorious! Yet another opportunity for me to reach out and see people of other realms I usually do not see! So tell me human, what is exactly your deal? Are you like Mr Forty One and do those silly sport things or do you serve a higher purpose?
Tom Teboat:Well, that’s a great question Mister Three Hundred. You see, I am not just any normal man. Not just a normal baseball player, no, no, no. I am a baseball prodigy sent from the heavens of our dear lord and savior. My purpose is not only to slam dunk home runs on these sinners but also to relay the word of god to the children of today. Through my wonderful and unique abilities I will be able to become an influencer to these kids and teach them the ways of Jesus Christ himself. You don’t look like a normal human being though, no disrespect but you kind of look like a deformed version of an ogre from that one movie called “Shrek” but also the muscles of “The Incredible Hulk”. Then again your face looks like you could be a member of the smash indie hit band “The Gorillaz” What’s your deal man?
Mr Thirty: The lord informed me that you were not involved with a sport that involves a wooden stick but an egg shaped pig thing. But from what I can tell you are super important and damn near game changing! Clearly someone would not say all of this without being able to back it up!
The reason I look like whatever those strange things is because I am simply not human! I am a gulper eel fish man! I focus on getting...Specific tasks done for my crew and friends and depending on if they are good or evil does not matter to me. Bones snap and crack all the same with enough pressure dealt to them. I do the tasks nobody else will do in the cult...Regardless of the pain it would cause. Most people usually stay away from me but that is not always easy to do. Right now though most of my tasks are completed. I am in a waiting game. I simply have to focus on doing this minor and rather strange interviews for the lord and who he wants me to help.
Though, I must say. I find it weird a non cultist is getting the help from us. The lord above Mr. Zero works in mysterious ways!
So tell me, human, what are your accomplishments?
Tom Teboat: My accomplishments are as follows. I once “Teboated” at some protests in California. I do not know what they were for, but I know that I needed to stop the madness. People were angry but I managed to stop them all from fighting through the art of “Teboating” as I and the kids like to call it. As I’ve stated before, I do believe I do serve a greater purpose and playing baseball is a mere stepping stone to that. In order to accomplish this talent I did have to dream about going to Jose Forty Three’s home and stealing his baseball trophies from the Pro Baseball Experience league.
I broke into his home with the help of this Amazon documentary crew who thought they were shooting a documentary on me. Little did they know I was there for his trophies. With these said trophies I would then inherit Jose Forty Three’s ability to play professional baseball in the Pro Baseball Experience. I am now on this journey to fulfill my destiny of becoming the Pro Baseball Experience’s top star
Now I do not know what you mean by an egg shaped ball as from what I’ve seen it is an orange shaped ball that I play with. Then again I am dyslexic so I cannot tell shapes apart. Now speaking of shapes with your muscular body have you ever thought about entering a sport where you would be able to take advantage of your god given gift? Something like I don’t know man, pffft uh. Gymnastics or Ballet?
Mr Thirty: I see, I see, I see. How very interesting. So you play in the league that has the legendary Laszlo Forty Two but know about Jose Forty Three. Seems as though they have made an impression on a couple of people. Usually I steer clear of such a thing but I suppose if that is how that realm of sport works that makes a lot of sense. I cannot imagine either fellow cultist not being in the spotlight when I think about it.
Your question is rather easy for me to answer. Thanks to my insane strength I can deadlift mountains or punch a hole into damn near anything. Sure I lose speed but that is not an important factor for me. No. I would focus purely on weight lifting since I could beat anyone in that quite easily and speed does not really play any damn thing of a factor which I like.
Perhaps just tennis or something as well since the cult does not have anyone representing us in that sport and I would enjoy killing people with every serve from my strength. But alas, that is not where I am needed right now and if anything Adriano Ochenta Quatro will be the next big sports star after failing in Grass Roots Football League. He is needing to increase his talents into another sport since he failed to live up to his father's standards.
So I was told to ask you by the way, if you could play any other position. What position would that be?
Tom Teboat:Well, my super best friend forever The Sanch, is a professional American football player. So I would love to play with him someday at Defensive Lineman. It just seems to me that I wouldn’t be good at that sport, you know what I mean? Like how am I supposed to match up these beefy buffed up dudes with nothing to lose. Other than some cracked skulls and broken bones. I’m way too much of a pretty boy to ever play such a ruthless sport. The fact that my boy The Sanch plays that also hurts my chances too because I would not like to steal the glory from the guy. Listen man, I don’t want to be rude but you are really starting to creep me out. Especially with all this cult talk. What do you mean by that? What is this cult and how do I join this secret club?
Mr Thirty: HAHAHAHAHAAAA! We have two levels that this can happen with. Anyone and I do mean anyone can become a follower of the deity known as Mr. Zero! You have to believe and follow the rules but it is free, no bullshit and a powerful and loving community shall become your ally. However, not everyone can become a chosen child. Mr. Zero himself must choose you for a specific purpose!
This purpose can range from being a simple sportsmen that must prove himself to...More simple things. It just depends but it is very hard to be chosen. We have in total 125 chosen members! Only 2 have been killed as well! So pretty good odds!
You simply have to lose your last name and for some the first name as well. Sports stars get to keep the first name usually I believe. The final thing you need is a tattoo of our insignia and your number you have been gifted! It is rather simple if you are truly devoted. That is how the people you know were selected albeit at a younger age than most.
My next question is a double header question for you to...speed thing up if you will. Who do you think will win the Development Sim Football League championship and International Sim Football Championship?
Tom Teboat:I don’t know what you mean by this Development Sim Football League championship. I do not know what this is. I also do not know what this International Sim Football Championship is. In fact the only championship league I know of is the Super Casual Football Sim League Championship. Fun fact, have I told you about my super duper everlasting best friend in the entire world who plays in that championship league? His name is The Sanch. Wait not I told you about him already, sorry dyslexic like I said before so I get short term memory loss because of that. Oh yeah you asked who I would win the Pro Baseball Experience league thingy. Well I think the Edmonton Blizzard have got the perfect opportunity to take what’s theirs. They got a stacked roster, some great training facilities and some top notch coaching. I just don’t know how you beat them in the batting range. I did want to ask you one final question though.
How long have you been on earth and who is your favorite celebrity so far?
Mr Thirty: I am not from your realm. I come from a more simplistic realm but with more fighting. We do not have these silly sports competitions usually. I have been alive for 28 years albeit my body is 21 years old. Do not worry about the details. I aged up escaping a prison known only as friendship from traitorous bastards who I have since dealt with.
I do not know what a celebrity is but the coolest person I have recently met was a fellow fish man known as Tsar the Tsunami. I fear his death approaches soon since he is a Shichibukai but I am glad to have met him and got to know a couple of his higher ranking crew mates in his crew. They probably need divine intervention to help save them.
I was told this is a very important question even though I do not know what this means but: What is your most favourite Christian rocking band?
Tom Teboat: Christian rocking band? Do you mean Christian rock band? I do actually have a favorite from my youth, they were on the Christian radio once when my dadday and I went out on our way to go fishing once. They were energetic, vibrant and had good ole values to teach to kids. You know, kind of like you Mister Three Hundred. They were called Skillet, in fact there’s a song by them that reminds me of you. It’s called “Monster”. Not that you look like one, but it’s just that. Yeah you know what nevermind let’s go ahead and skip over to my second favorite song by them which is “Hero”. Everytime I hear this son they Scream that they want a hero. I can just feel them screaming at me, maybe they want me to be their hero?
Maybe they knew of me and my powers when I was born. I’m the hero, I’m earth’s hero! Through the power of “Teboating” and becoming superstar third baseman for the Norfolk “Best Folk” Seawolves. I will influence the children of tomorrow to continue on the tradition of great Christian American values! Now you said earlier you were in prison, this concerns me as this means you have sinned son. What did you do time for?
Mr Thirty: These...Norfolking people sound...Interesting people I must say. I do love meeting people with other beliefs and faiths. It is so...Thrilling to try to understand the weirder religions such as this Chris person.
To give you your answer to your final question: It was a figurative prison because my friends were backstabbing two timing cowards. I locked myself away for a few days in one place I knew they could not touch me. Meditation! When I awoke 4 days later I was more mature. Not a child any more. With this new found strength I ended them all. The fear they had in each and every eye was truly delightful!
Well, I do believe that was all the questions I ended up having to ask you. Now I do have to really be getting back to my mission to create the Abomination 99. If you know anyone selling body parts I would be ever so grateful as to know where they are located but if not I shall be on my way my friend. You have been one of the weirdest non cultist people I have met but it is good to understand humanity a little more by person to person. So I bid you farewell! Thomas Teboat.
*As Mr Thirty walks away, Tom Teboat waves goodbye as Thirty does not turn back*
Tom Teboat: I think I’ve met my second best friend!
Recently Jon Forty One had the displeasure in Sim Hockey League with interacting with another cultist he very rarely meets. Mr Thirty. A deranged and sadistic and creepy as fuck looking fish man.
Mr Thirty on the other hand is...Well a gulper eel fish man who now seems to be doing small interview tasks for this lord to help out those who need to do media. So you guessed it. Another cross over episode! The confusion continues! A light green at the head but gradually turns pitch black skin. Think one piece fish men type fish man. Like the last interview with Mr Thirty had explained for those who did not know: The most noticeable thing about him is his big fuck off jaw as he is a gulper eel and the god damn cheshire cat has nothing on him it is that big. He is a little bit different as he has a direct link to the lord and will do whatever his god wants him to do. Not being based off sports at all is a little weird but it helps the cult be stronger. This might get a little weird due to conflicting personalities.
That is probably his biggest strength to. Raw power. I know in this sim engine we can have up to 100 strength and that would be really strong considering how strong 100 actually is but for comparison that would be like the fish man having a strength score of 1000. He is bullshit strong. But it comes with a huge weakness of being stupidly slow. Like, borderline the slowest thing going in his little story he is involved in. Not that speed is as important as it is in this sim engine or the vast majority of them but it he would have like, 20 speed? He also kind of talks weird but you will see that soon.
Probably not much to go off of but this is a rather weird and unique thing I am doing to set it up. The only other thing I can say is the style I write in both of these is completely different so I will be doing the basic bitch approach and go with how I usually do International Simulation Football League's style cause it is easier and less work for my brain to do. Usually I write in a better style but this is not really much short of a shit piece of media for both with low effort focus of getting both into a better quality of life situation. I have no idea how this will go so let us find out. (And please do not read this it will not be good. Maybe funny? But not good.)
This is mainly just another crossover episode I am doing and this will be weird as fuck since Mr Thirty is not very good with non cultists and doesn’t get social norms.
Mr Thirty: Glorious! Yet another opportunity for me to reach out and see people of other realms I usually do not see! So tell me human, what is exactly your deal? Are you like Mr Forty One and do those silly sport things or do you serve a higher purpose?
Tom Teboat:Well, that’s a great question Mister Three Hundred. You see, I am not just any normal man. Not just a normal baseball player, no, no, no. I am a baseball prodigy sent from the heavens of our dear lord and savior. My purpose is not only to slam dunk home runs on these sinners but also to relay the word of god to the children of today. Through my wonderful and unique abilities I will be able to become an influencer to these kids and teach them the ways of Jesus Christ himself. You don’t look like a normal human being though, no disrespect but you kind of look like a deformed version of an ogre from that one movie called “Shrek” but also the muscles of “The Incredible Hulk”. Then again your face looks like you could be a member of the smash indie hit band “The Gorillaz” What’s your deal man?
Mr Thirty: The lord informed me that you were not involved with a sport that involves a wooden stick but an egg shaped pig thing. But from what I can tell you are super important and damn near game changing! Clearly someone would not say all of this without being able to back it up!
The reason I look like whatever those strange things is because I am simply not human! I am a gulper eel fish man! I focus on getting...Specific tasks done for my crew and friends and depending on if they are good or evil does not matter to me. Bones snap and crack all the same with enough pressure dealt to them. I do the tasks nobody else will do in the cult...Regardless of the pain it would cause. Most people usually stay away from me but that is not always easy to do. Right now though most of my tasks are completed. I am in a waiting game. I simply have to focus on doing this minor and rather strange interviews for the lord and who he wants me to help.
Though, I must say. I find it weird a non cultist is getting the help from us. The lord above Mr. Zero works in mysterious ways!
So tell me, human, what are your accomplishments?
Tom Teboat: My accomplishments are as follows. I once “Teboated” at some protests in California. I do not know what they were for, but I know that I needed to stop the madness. People were angry but I managed to stop them all from fighting through the art of “Teboating” as I and the kids like to call it. As I’ve stated before, I do believe I do serve a greater purpose and playing baseball is a mere stepping stone to that. In order to accomplish this talent I did have to dream about going to Jose Forty Three’s home and stealing his baseball trophies from the Pro Baseball Experience league.
I broke into his home with the help of this Amazon documentary crew who thought they were shooting a documentary on me. Little did they know I was there for his trophies. With these said trophies I would then inherit Jose Forty Three’s ability to play professional baseball in the Pro Baseball Experience. I am now on this journey to fulfill my destiny of becoming the Pro Baseball Experience’s top star
Now I do not know what you mean by an egg shaped ball as from what I’ve seen it is an orange shaped ball that I play with. Then again I am dyslexic so I cannot tell shapes apart. Now speaking of shapes with your muscular body have you ever thought about entering a sport where you would be able to take advantage of your god given gift? Something like I don’t know man, pffft uh. Gymnastics or Ballet?
Mr Thirty: I see, I see, I see. How very interesting. So you play in the league that has the legendary Laszlo Forty Two but know about Jose Forty Three. Seems as though they have made an impression on a couple of people. Usually I steer clear of such a thing but I suppose if that is how that realm of sport works that makes a lot of sense. I cannot imagine either fellow cultist not being in the spotlight when I think about it.
Your question is rather easy for me to answer. Thanks to my insane strength I can deadlift mountains or punch a hole into damn near anything. Sure I lose speed but that is not an important factor for me. No. I would focus purely on weight lifting since I could beat anyone in that quite easily and speed does not really play any damn thing of a factor which I like.
Perhaps just tennis or something as well since the cult does not have anyone representing us in that sport and I would enjoy killing people with every serve from my strength. But alas, that is not where I am needed right now and if anything Adriano Ochenta Quatro will be the next big sports star after failing in Grass Roots Football League. He is needing to increase his talents into another sport since he failed to live up to his father's standards.
So I was told to ask you by the way, if you could play any other position. What position would that be?
Tom Teboat:Well, my super best friend forever The Sanch, is a professional American football player. So I would love to play with him someday at Defensive Lineman. It just seems to me that I wouldn’t be good at that sport, you know what I mean? Like how am I supposed to match up these beefy buffed up dudes with nothing to lose. Other than some cracked skulls and broken bones. I’m way too much of a pretty boy to ever play such a ruthless sport. The fact that my boy The Sanch plays that also hurts my chances too because I would not like to steal the glory from the guy. Listen man, I don’t want to be rude but you are really starting to creep me out. Especially with all this cult talk. What do you mean by that? What is this cult and how do I join this secret club?
Mr Thirty: HAHAHAHAHAAAA! We have two levels that this can happen with. Anyone and I do mean anyone can become a follower of the deity known as Mr. Zero! You have to believe and follow the rules but it is free, no bullshit and a powerful and loving community shall become your ally. However, not everyone can become a chosen child. Mr. Zero himself must choose you for a specific purpose!
This purpose can range from being a simple sportsmen that must prove himself to...More simple things. It just depends but it is very hard to be chosen. We have in total 125 chosen members! Only 2 have been killed as well! So pretty good odds!
You simply have to lose your last name and for some the first name as well. Sports stars get to keep the first name usually I believe. The final thing you need is a tattoo of our insignia and your number you have been gifted! It is rather simple if you are truly devoted. That is how the people you know were selected albeit at a younger age than most.
My next question is a double header question for you to...speed thing up if you will. Who do you think will win the Development Sim Football League championship and International Sim Football Championship?
Tom Teboat:I don’t know what you mean by this Development Sim Football League championship. I do not know what this is. I also do not know what this International Sim Football Championship is. In fact the only championship league I know of is the Super Casual Football Sim League Championship. Fun fact, have I told you about my super duper everlasting best friend in the entire world who plays in that championship league? His name is The Sanch. Wait not I told you about him already, sorry dyslexic like I said before so I get short term memory loss because of that. Oh yeah you asked who I would win the Pro Baseball Experience league thingy. Well I think the Edmonton Blizzard have got the perfect opportunity to take what’s theirs. They got a stacked roster, some great training facilities and some top notch coaching. I just don’t know how you beat them in the batting range. I did want to ask you one final question though.
How long have you been on earth and who is your favorite celebrity so far?
Mr Thirty: I am not from your realm. I come from a more simplistic realm but with more fighting. We do not have these silly sports competitions usually. I have been alive for 28 years albeit my body is 21 years old. Do not worry about the details. I aged up escaping a prison known only as friendship from traitorous bastards who I have since dealt with.
I do not know what a celebrity is but the coolest person I have recently met was a fellow fish man known as Tsar the Tsunami. I fear his death approaches soon since he is a Shichibukai but I am glad to have met him and got to know a couple of his higher ranking crew mates in his crew. They probably need divine intervention to help save them.
I was told this is a very important question even though I do not know what this means but: What is your most favourite Christian rocking band?
Tom Teboat: Christian rocking band? Do you mean Christian rock band? I do actually have a favorite from my youth, they were on the Christian radio once when my dadday and I went out on our way to go fishing once. They were energetic, vibrant and had good ole values to teach to kids. You know, kind of like you Mister Three Hundred. They were called Skillet, in fact there’s a song by them that reminds me of you. It’s called “Monster”. Not that you look like one, but it’s just that. Yeah you know what nevermind let’s go ahead and skip over to my second favorite song by them which is “Hero”. Everytime I hear this son they Scream that they want a hero. I can just feel them screaming at me, maybe they want me to be their hero?
Maybe they knew of me and my powers when I was born. I’m the hero, I’m earth’s hero! Through the power of “Teboating” and becoming superstar third baseman for the Norfolk “Best Folk” Seawolves. I will influence the children of tomorrow to continue on the tradition of great Christian American values! Now you said earlier you were in prison, this concerns me as this means you have sinned son. What did you do time for?
Mr Thirty: These...Norfolking people sound...Interesting people I must say. I do love meeting people with other beliefs and faiths. It is so...Thrilling to try to understand the weirder religions such as this Chris person.
To give you your answer to your final question: It was a figurative prison because my friends were backstabbing two timing cowards. I locked myself away for a few days in one place I knew they could not touch me. Meditation! When I awoke 4 days later I was more mature. Not a child any more. With this new found strength I ended them all. The fear they had in each and every eye was truly delightful!
Well, I do believe that was all the questions I ended up having to ask you. Now I do have to really be getting back to my mission to create the Abomination 99. If you know anyone selling body parts I would be ever so grateful as to know where they are located but if not I shall be on my way my friend. You have been one of the weirdest non cultist people I have met but it is good to understand humanity a little more by person to person. So I bid you farewell! Thomas Teboat.
*As Mr Thirty walks away, Tom Teboat waves goodbye as Thirty does not turn back*
Tom Teboat: I think I’ve met my second best friend!
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