Do you have problems drying your butt after showering?
Do you struggle to combat the effects of swamp ass?
Have you lost all hope in curing your stench trench?
Then boy do we at FC Johnson have the miracle in a bottle for you.
Introducing:
Raylan Crowders Talcum Powder!!
Here at FC Johnson we understand the plight of the working man. You sit at your desk all day in your poorly ventilated cubicle. Your boss won't let you plug in a fan and the sweat constantly drips down your back and pools in your natural drainage ditch. We believe the working man deserves to sit in comfort without his boxer briefs absorbing moisture like a large sweat diaper.
For this reason we have teamed up with Rookie ISFL Defensive End and well known perspirator Raylan Crowder to bring you this miracle powder.
We reached out to Crowder to reflect on his personal experience when it comes to the trials and tribulations of sticky crevice.
"School was hard you know? I tried to sit at the back of the class so no one could see the shame build up at the back. But sometimes I wouldn't be fast enough and I would have to sit in the middle row. Kids are cruel, the called me swamp thing, drippy and crotch. I started wearing 2 pairs of briefs, 3 pairs then 4. Every time the sweat would seep through. If I had this powder then, I would never have been bullied in school."
For this reason selected promotional bottles of Raylan Crowders talcum powder will win tickets to San Jose's next game. With one lucky winner winning a workout with raylan Crowder and a lifetime supply of powder.
*warning. May be toxic if consumed. Mild carcinogenic
Do you struggle to combat the effects of swamp ass?
Have you lost all hope in curing your stench trench?
Then boy do we at FC Johnson have the miracle in a bottle for you.
Introducing:
Raylan Crowders Talcum Powder!!
Here at FC Johnson we understand the plight of the working man. You sit at your desk all day in your poorly ventilated cubicle. Your boss won't let you plug in a fan and the sweat constantly drips down your back and pools in your natural drainage ditch. We believe the working man deserves to sit in comfort without his boxer briefs absorbing moisture like a large sweat diaper.
For this reason we have teamed up with Rookie ISFL Defensive End and well known perspirator Raylan Crowder to bring you this miracle powder.
We reached out to Crowder to reflect on his personal experience when it comes to the trials and tribulations of sticky crevice.
"School was hard you know? I tried to sit at the back of the class so no one could see the shame build up at the back. But sometimes I wouldn't be fast enough and I would have to sit in the middle row. Kids are cruel, the called me swamp thing, drippy and crotch. I started wearing 2 pairs of briefs, 3 pairs then 4. Every time the sweat would seep through. If I had this powder then, I would never have been bullied in school."
For this reason selected promotional bottles of Raylan Crowders talcum powder will win tickets to San Jose's next game. With one lucky winner winning a workout with raylan Crowder and a lifetime supply of powder.
*warning. May be toxic if consumed. Mild carcinogenic