10. Write a short biography or story about your player. This could include background about how they came to the ISFL and how they’ve done so far, a story about their role in an exciting game, or anything else related to their experience in the league.
This is a little known fact, but Juno Hu sent his parents on a vacation to China about three years ago, which should go without saying is an absolutely terrible idea. It was originally supposed to be a two week stay, but Juno's parents stayed past their scheduled time, and started asking for more and more money. It became apparent that they were being held ransom by the Chinese government, who are aware of how much monetary success Juno has had, and wants a piece of the pie. Juno's parents lost contact, and after a while, only video clips of his parents were being sent to Juno, with their mental conditions noticeably worsening over time. So, Juno has spent the last few years trying to fulfill the ransom request, but to no avail. Sadly, after paying over a couple million dollars in E-Thereum, the last time he has heard from his parents was at the start of the most recent season. This has been essentially the main reason for Juno's heavy drug abusing habits the past three years. So for those of you who have been making fun of Juno's performance over the past three seasons, well, shame on you all. You never know what someone is going through. As of the past few months, Juno is still mentally dealing with severe grief, and thinks that his parents are no longer alive. On the bright side, he has been able to stop making payments. However, he fears that the reach of the Chinese government is extending across the Pacific Ocean, and that there will be more interference with his business, and/or more collectors will be coming.
Breaking news just came in. Juno Hu was able to confirm that his parents are deceased. He is to make one final $5 million payment in E-Thereum to the Chinese government, who will then return the bodies of his parents to him. Juno Hu has filed for bankrupcy following this exchange, and is looking to be able to start a new chapter in his life, hopefully with a lucrative new contract. It's been a rough few years, but Juno is looking to get his mind off of things and be able to focus on football once again. Training camp is coming up quick! Will Juno persevere in the face of such hardship, or will he lose focus halfway through the season and disappoint his fans yet again?
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11. Write about your team’s biggest rivalry and what makes it so fierce. Is the competition founded in statistics and the team’s recent performance, or is it a rivalry that developed over time during the team’s history that would exist regardless of statistics?
Apparently the biggest rivals of the San Jose Sabercats is the Orange County Otters, but due to our performance the past few seasons, I'm not sure how fierce the rivalry is. But as a player, my rivalry has always been with others in my fellow draft class, most notably Anton Bruckner. I mean, it is truly some bullshit that he was able to position change from offensive line to cornerback, like are you kidding me? You mean to tell me that this man used to weigh 280+ lbs in college, and then lost 1/3 of that within a summer, and there have been no investigations into how he got it done? It's so obvious that he had been making use of very illicit performance enhancing drugs to be able to achieve such a feat. Not to mention the other members of our draft class have also started to play cornerback, such as Tim Soulja, Chunt the Badger, and Raeni Clarke. Why, couldn't handle the pressure of playing quarterback, Raeni? Well guess what, cornerbackin' ain't easy, neither!
But aside from that, I am kinda ignorant of the various rivalries that might exist. Honestly, team rivalries have never made sense to me, considering how quickly team rosters change over time. Player rivalries, I totally get, but when a team undergoes a complete makeover like the Baltimore Hawks, I feel like the rivalries kinda die with them, no? I mean, most of the rivalry angst seems to be fan driven rather than anything presented by players or the league. Remember how Oakland and San Francisco had teams in the NFL, and the fans would murder each other over preseason games? Total insanity, I tell ya, and I doubt the players even cared. I mean, the players come from all over the world, and, in my experience as a player in the ISFL, many of us are friends despite being on different teams, and some of us are enemies even if we're on the same team.
Anyways, I just think rivalries are made up so that fans will burn jerseys or whatever and then more jerseys are sold. I have a better idea for selling jerseys. What if the players were forced to change numbers every single season? So then the fans are forced to buy new jerseys every season. That's probably a terrible idea. I didn't go to marketing school, alright? Don't hate.
This is a little known fact, but Juno Hu sent his parents on a vacation to China about three years ago, which should go without saying is an absolutely terrible idea. It was originally supposed to be a two week stay, but Juno's parents stayed past their scheduled time, and started asking for more and more money. It became apparent that they were being held ransom by the Chinese government, who are aware of how much monetary success Juno has had, and wants a piece of the pie. Juno's parents lost contact, and after a while, only video clips of his parents were being sent to Juno, with their mental conditions noticeably worsening over time. So, Juno has spent the last few years trying to fulfill the ransom request, but to no avail. Sadly, after paying over a couple million dollars in E-Thereum, the last time he has heard from his parents was at the start of the most recent season. This has been essentially the main reason for Juno's heavy drug abusing habits the past three years. So for those of you who have been making fun of Juno's performance over the past three seasons, well, shame on you all. You never know what someone is going through. As of the past few months, Juno is still mentally dealing with severe grief, and thinks that his parents are no longer alive. On the bright side, he has been able to stop making payments. However, he fears that the reach of the Chinese government is extending across the Pacific Ocean, and that there will be more interference with his business, and/or more collectors will be coming.
Breaking news just came in. Juno Hu was able to confirm that his parents are deceased. He is to make one final $5 million payment in E-Thereum to the Chinese government, who will then return the bodies of his parents to him. Juno Hu has filed for bankrupcy following this exchange, and is looking to be able to start a new chapter in his life, hopefully with a lucrative new contract. It's been a rough few years, but Juno is looking to get his mind off of things and be able to focus on football once again. Training camp is coming up quick! Will Juno persevere in the face of such hardship, or will he lose focus halfway through the season and disappoint his fans yet again?
-----------------------------------------------------------
11. Write about your team’s biggest rivalry and what makes it so fierce. Is the competition founded in statistics and the team’s recent performance, or is it a rivalry that developed over time during the team’s history that would exist regardless of statistics?
Apparently the biggest rivals of the San Jose Sabercats is the Orange County Otters, but due to our performance the past few seasons, I'm not sure how fierce the rivalry is. But as a player, my rivalry has always been with others in my fellow draft class, most notably Anton Bruckner. I mean, it is truly some bullshit that he was able to position change from offensive line to cornerback, like are you kidding me? You mean to tell me that this man used to weigh 280+ lbs in college, and then lost 1/3 of that within a summer, and there have been no investigations into how he got it done? It's so obvious that he had been making use of very illicit performance enhancing drugs to be able to achieve such a feat. Not to mention the other members of our draft class have also started to play cornerback, such as Tim Soulja, Chunt the Badger, and Raeni Clarke. Why, couldn't handle the pressure of playing quarterback, Raeni? Well guess what, cornerbackin' ain't easy, neither!
But aside from that, I am kinda ignorant of the various rivalries that might exist. Honestly, team rivalries have never made sense to me, considering how quickly team rosters change over time. Player rivalries, I totally get, but when a team undergoes a complete makeover like the Baltimore Hawks, I feel like the rivalries kinda die with them, no? I mean, most of the rivalry angst seems to be fan driven rather than anything presented by players or the league. Remember how Oakland and San Francisco had teams in the NFL, and the fans would murder each other over preseason games? Total insanity, I tell ya, and I doubt the players even cared. I mean, the players come from all over the world, and, in my experience as a player in the ISFL, many of us are friends despite being on different teams, and some of us are enemies even if we're on the same team.
Anyways, I just think rivalries are made up so that fans will burn jerseys or whatever and then more jerseys are sold. I have a better idea for selling jerseys. What if the players were forced to change numbers every single season? So then the fans are forced to buy new jerseys every season. That's probably a terrible idea. I didn't go to marketing school, alright? Don't hate.
![[Image: 63840_s.gif]](https://signavatar.com/63840_s.gif)
